Just Say No: Five Reasons To Turn Down A Job Offer

Employer caution has extended the hiring process by weeks, even months. You may interview for a position several times, in person and by phone. No matter how long the process is and how well you’ve gotten to know your potential colleagues, it’s still perfectly acceptable to turn down a job offer. In fact, there may be many valid reasons that you should politely decline an opportunity, assuming, of course, that you’re not in dire financial straits.

1. The word on “The Street.”

Is the company’s stock price tanking? Or is there talk of a merger? Both of these things could indicate that layoffs loom large, and the position you accept today may not exist in a few months. To calculate your risks, speak with industry experts, do your due diligence on and consult with family and trusted friends. If you still want to accept the position, try to obtain an iron-clad employment contract.

2. A revolving “Employees Only” door.

A certain percentage of employee turnover is normal. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the average voluntary employee turnover in the U.S. for 2006 was 23.4 percent. However, high employee turnover should raise a red flag for any potential worker. Research a company thoroughly before accepting an offer. Also, be sure to listen carefully during the hiring process. Do interviewers keep referring to folks who’ve left the company or mentioning a total lack of redundancy? These could be signs that people are leaving faster than replacements can be recruited.

3. Money isn’t everything; it’s the only thing.

If money is a major factor in your decision to accept a new job, think twice before you do. In fact, think three times. Even four.

Depending on your personal financial situation and how much more you’d be earning in a new job, money may not buy you on-the-job happiness or professional fulfillment. It may not even guarantee career advancement. Assess your finances. Revisit your career goals. Look at the situation with a big-picture view of your future. Making a move for a modest increase may not be worth it if there’s more long-term potential with your current employer. Also, be sure to calculate your entire compensation package to make sure that you’re not forfeiting a valuable retirement or insurance plan for a bigger paycheck.

4. All work, no life.

There’s a time in almost everyone’s career where they have to put their nose to the grindstone and work almost to the point of burnout. If you’re just beginning your career or starting a second one, this may be what lies ahead for the next few years. However, if you’re a mid-careerist with a family and personal obligations, it may not be wise to accept an 80-hour-a-week job. Consider the impact your new schedule will have on you and your family. Will generous vacation make up for the longer hours? Is there flex time available so you can still attend family functions? Can you work from home? Forfeiting invaluable work-life balance benefits without assessing the consequences can have a devastating impact on your personal life.

5. A bad reputation.

Going to work for a company with a reputation that’s been sullied by a corporate scandal or that isn’t well respected can, in turn, sully your resume. Investigate any potential employer’s standing within their industry. Solicit opinions from within your network as well as that of an executive recruiter. You may learn that it’s better to be a top salesperson at an admired organization rather than a VP of sales at a suspect one.

371 thoughts on “Just Say No: Five Reasons To Turn Down A Job Offer

  1. I met a girl on a matchmaking service as I could use a diversion for my time while overseas as a deployed soldier in Iraq. She and I spoke for six months online before I was able to come home and finally meet her. We talked about everything- including past relationships. She mentioned how she had lived with an older guy for three years when she turned 18, but that she broke it off because she thought he had cheated on her, he didn’t treat her well, and he wasn’t willing to settle down and marry her. Once we met, she and I fell in love and everything was great for the first several months of our relationship- I even moved in with her after leaving the Army.

    She introduced me to many of her friends, one of them a guy who we will call Rick. Rick was very nice to me, always buying me drinks, and he even offered me a job if I wanted it as I had just left the service. My GF had started a restaurant, and Rick’s contracting company did the majority of the work on the building because she had asked him to do it. Rick even had an office upstairs in the building for his contracting company- right next to my GF’s. When my GFs restaurant opened its doors, my GF hired Rick’s sister to be his bookkeeper- and I was also introduced by my GF to Rick’s entire family when they came in for dinner (which was fairly often). Rick helped bartend for the opening night of the restaurant. My GF was best friends with Rick’s brother’s wife, and my GF would always run to Rick when there were problems with the restaurant. There were several times when I found them upstairs together- alone, talking about things with the door closed. I had my suspicions, so I asked my GF how she got to know Rick- and she said he was just a friend she had known through her best friend (the one who was married to Rick’s brother).

    It wasn’t until we had been actually dating for six months (but talking for over a year) that I discovered the truth about my GF and Rick, just by casual conversation when someone told me he had given her a cheap rate on the construction for the restaurant because they had dated in the past. As I’m sure you know by now, Rick was the guy my GF had lived with for three years. I confronted her about it, and her response was that yes, they had lived together and dated, but that things between them were over. I told her I didn’t want her to talk to him anymore- but it was an impossible request. His sister worked for her, he had a contract for the office upstairs (so he would almost be guaranteed to see her every day for the next two years) and her best friend was married to his brother, so it would be hard for her to see her best friend without occasionally seeing him as well.

    I started snooping around to satisfy my curiosity. Even though it had been a couple years since they dated, she still had BOXES of photos of them together on beaches in Mexico and Jamaica- a place she and I were planning to go. She had an “I Love You” video she made for him still on her computer. There were no photos of any other person she dated- just pictures of those two together. When I confronted her about this, she did throw the pictures away, but only after I told her about them.

    My GF reassured me that there was nothing going on, and I believed her. Rick told me the same thing when he found out I knew. I don’t think she wants to date him, but I think that for whatever reason she likes having him around. It has been five months since I learned of this, and I still can’t get over it- how inconsiderate she was to put me in this situation, how she deceived me by lying about it/not telling me about it (which I think is a HUGE deal), and how I never would have moved in with her if I had known the truth beforehand.

    Am I crazy to think that most people would want to leave their past behind instead of seeing it walk through the door everyday?

    I care about this girl, but this has been tearing me apart for five months and I don’t know how to get over it. I feel like if I had known about it sooner, I could’ve gotten over it- but the fact that she lied about it for so many months makes me not trust her. And here’s the kicker- before all this came out, she told me when she was younger she had an abortion- from someone else. She could tell me that (which I think is a MUCH bigger secret) but she didn’t want to tell me about Rick- doesn’t that sound fishy? I find myself looking for excuses to make her feel bad about dating him and lying about it- which I know is never a good sign.

    Any advice is welcome.

    Thanks.
    Now that I know this guy- and I’ve learned even more about his scumbaggery since first meeting him- it makes me wonder what kind of taste my GF had in men before meeting me…. It makes me feel like I could do better…especially since now I wonder what else she’s hiding from me (because I don’t feel like I can really trust her).

  2. Step daughter is 23 with a kid. She graduated college 18 mos ago. She had a baby, has never worked a day in her life. My husband has been paying for everything. He is now regretting it. It is debilitating her. She lives with the belief that she does not have to work and she can use anyone anyway she wants. My husband is likely going to be laid off. It dawned on me today that he basically treated her like his wife (without the spousal duties). He has 3 kids. He bought her a brand new car, a 1000 dollar great dane, designer everything, a condo, top notch furniture. all she has to do is well – nothing. He pays Cobra Insurance for her because she is a grown up and the insurance lapsed.

    She has been fighting custody over the baby with the father, but really all they (the father of the baby) want is standard visitation. She lives in another state and we have asked her to come home but she won’t because of one reason or another (including the father of the baby won’t allow it). We told her she could come live here, but who would want to leave a spacious condo with cherry hardwood floors to live in a crowded house, right? We offered that we could watch the baby while she works if she moves down here. She said no, she was going to go to graduate school.

    She wants the father of the baby not to have any rights whatsoever, so she wants about $10,000 to pay for a lawyer. My husband said he is no longer going to pay her way and that he agrees that he has been allowing her to live in a fantasy world and he wants to stop doing this.

    She was just hired for a job for $15 an hour and full benefits, he would have been willing to continue making house payments to help her out until she could get on her feet, but she turned down the job because she felt that daycare would be traumatic on the 10 month old baby. Then she called back and said she just bought a GPS navigation system for 200 bucks and could dad please put money in her account! I was floored. I have been in the situation of having a child alone and I never in my wildest dreams would have thought to have bought a “luxury” item, especially when it was not needed.

    I am also worried because she is so set on being able to give her infant daughter psychotic meds because she thinks that the child may need it in the future and does not want the father of this infant to have any say so. I just have this feeling like my husband is going behind my back and going to give her money the minute she starts crying. She refuses to accept any responsibility. She won’t get a job. She makes excuses, she is manipulative and she knows exactly what to say to get money from her dad. He doesn’t have a backbone where she’s concerned. When he tells her to do something, he says it in a manner that sounds more like he is afraid to get through to her she cannot carry on like this. He is afraid of losing her.

    She honestly believes that the salary my husband makes is her salary. She acts as though she has the same rights as a spouse. My husband and I have talked but I am having serious doubts that he will follow through.

    She calls him an a-hole and then turns around and talks about him dying and tells him that since he married me, if affects her inheritance. They sat at Thanksgiving Dinner and told their dad that he needed to go die basically. But he does not hear what his kids tell him or basically takes it as a joke. My kids have never told me to go die (maybe go to hell, but not die). Then she started in that the dishes that were given to him in his first wife’s marriage (she deceased) and that she wants them and is entitled to them. He bought many of the pieces to make it a complete set. We would likely have given them to her later, but she feels some direct and immediate entitlement to them.

    So today I heard her talking about my five year and making accusations that were not true and I just yelled at my husband who was ever so nicely telling her she was not being appropriate, I told her to take care of herself and her child and quit manipulating her father. He got mad at me because she hung up on him. I told him I did not care to hear anymore because all she does is talk. I am thinking I should get a job albeit it would be considerably less than what he could make, but I may end up having to leave because I am really having a hard time thinking I could live with this. I had not realized he is basically married to this child, who thinks she has entitlement.

    I have been through a lot of sad times, I have been through rough times. My parents were well off and did not offer me a “bail out” I went through college nursing a child and working. I did not get ammenities like a PC to type my papers I had to drive over an hour to get to a computer and usually had to stay up 3-4 days at a time during finals weeks. I don’t desire more money or “things” for myself. I can take care of myself. It’s the attitude of this girl and the way she treats her father that makes me infu

  3. Step daughter is 23 with a kid. She graduated college 18 mos ago. She had a baby, has never worked a day in her life. My husband has been paying for everything. He is now regretting it. It is debilitating her. She lives with the belief that she does not have to work and she can use anyone anyway she wants. My husband is likely going to be laid off. It dawned on me today that he basically treated her like his wife (without the spousal duties). He has 3 kids. He bought her a brand new car, a 1000 dollar great dane, designer everything, a condo, top notch furniture. all she has to do is well – nothing. He pays Cobra Insurance for her because she is a grown up and the insurance lapsed.

    She has been fighting custody over the baby with the father, but really all they (the father of the baby) want is standard visitation. She lives in another state and we have asked her to come home but she won’t because of one reason or another (including the father of the baby won’t allow it). We told her she could come live here, but who would want to leave a spacious condo with cherry hardwood floors to live in a crowded house, right? We offered that we could watch the baby while she works if she moves down here. She said no, she was going to go to graduate school.

    She wants the father of the baby not to have any rights whatsoever, so she wants about $10,000 to pay for a lawyer. My husband said he is no longer going to pay her way and that he agrees that he has been allowing her to live in a fantasy world and he wants to stop doing this.

    She was just hired for a job for $15 an hour and full benefits, he would have been willing to continue making house payments to help her out until she could get on her feet, but she turned down the job because she felt that daycare would be traumatic on the 10 month old baby. Then she called back and said she just bought a GPS navigation system for 200 bucks and could dad please put money in her account! I was floored. I have been in the situation of having a child alone and I never in my wildest dreams would have thought to have bought a “luxury” item, especially when it was not needed.

    I am also worried because she is so set on being able to give her infant daughter psychotic meds because she thinks that the child may need it in the future and does not want the father of this infant to have any say so. I just have this feeling like my husband is going behind my back and going to give her money the minute she starts crying. She refuses to accept any responsibility. She won’t get a job. She makes excuses, she is manipulative and she knows exactly what to say to get money from her dad. He doesn’t have a backbone where she’s concerned. When he tells her to do something, he says it in a manner that sounds more like he is afraid to get through to her she cannot carry on like this. He is afraid of losing her.

    She honestly believes that the salary my husband makes is her salary. She acts as though she has the same rights as a spouse. My husband and I have talked but I am having serious doubts that he will follow through.

    She calls him an a-hole and then turns around and talks about him dying and tells him that since he married me, if affects her inheritance. They sat at Thanksgiving Dinner and told their dad that he needed to go die basically. But he does not hear what his kids tell him or basically takes it as a joke. My kids have never told me to go die (maybe go to hell, but not die). Then she started in that the dishes that were given to him in his first wife’s marriage (she deceased) and that she wants them and is entitled to them. He bought many of the pieces to make it a complete set. We would likely have given them to her later, but she feels some direct and immediate entitlement to them.

    So today I heard her talking about my five year and making accusations that were not true and I just yelled at my husband who was ever so nicely telling her she was not being appropriate, I told her to take care of herself and her child and quit manipulating her father. He got mad at me because she hung up on him. I told him I did not care to hear anymore because all she does is talk. I am thinking I should get a job albeit it would be considerably less than what he could make, but I may end up having to leave because I am really having a hard time thinking I could live with this. I had not realized he is basically married to this child, who thinks she has entitlement.

    I have been through a lot of sad times, I have been through rough times. My parents were well off and did not offer me a “bail out” I went through college nursing a child and working. I did not get ammenities like a PC to type my papers I had to drive over an hour to get to a computer and usually had to stay up 3-4 days at a time during finals weeks. I don’t desire more money or “things” for myself. I can take care of myself. It’s the attitude of this girl and the way she treats her father that makes me infu

  4. Hi I’m a 31 year old stay at home Mom with my adorable 13 month old daughter. I’ve been with my husband 5 years and I want to make our marriage work.We really need counseling to fix this and for us to both be happy and have both our needs met. I’m having a hard time getting my point thru to him. He just thinks he’s right and I’m wrong. He doesn’t believe a relationship needs constant work and it needs to be treated with the utmost care or it falls apart. He just thinks it is what it is and we don’t need professional help. I love him dearly but I’m having a hard time seeing us for many more years together unless theres a change. It’s actually pretty little work on his part. So this is my last resort, I’m going to quickly write down the basic problems and I’m so confused at this point, I’m asking for validation for my feelings. If any of u were in my shoes would u feel the same way? And feel free to tell me I’m wrong, whatever needs done to save our family I’ll do it but to live with quiet anger and resentment is not healthy.

    There’s three main issues. One is He works 60 to 70 hours a week and plays hockey 3 to 4 times a week. So I don’t really see him that much and when I do he’s worn out and tired or hungry or just want’s to relax. I said once maybe you could not go to hockey tonight and he took that as me taking him away from his passion.Thats so far from the truth, I would never want or ask him to quit. Thats a major problem with us in general. he constantly misunderstands me and it turns into a fight really fast.and part of me thinks if he knew me at all he wouldn’t misunderstand me so much. How can me wanting him to spend time with me turn into what I don’t even know because we have never ever talked thru and resolved a conflict. When we fight I feel like my big strong man turns into a child! Theres insults and back and forth and then he gets really vicious with his words and goes too far and hurts me. I end up with a stabbing pain in my heart that his little sentence that ended the fight will eventually end our marriage. i walk away, we stop fighting, it’s never cleared up or resolved because I guess we don’t know how. ( Hence why we need counseling) But if I were to go tell him that right now THAT would turn into a fight of why am I trying to ruin his day. The way he misunderstands me hurts as much as his deep comments. Because theres no reason for it, I’m so good to him. I’m always considerate of him, always do you want something dear you need something dear?What can I do for you? I would love if he returned a quarter of how I treat him. I def shown him by example.

    He’s a great provider and very generous with me, because he does make all the money and he works hard for us. I do appeciate that sooo much of course I do. That allows me to raise our child.

    The Hockey I think shouldn’t be more than 2 days a week.What marriage is healthy when the husband works 5 days until evening then plays up to four days. Any more than 2 days is just neglect. Neglect to our home and us and our child. but again he doesn’t see it that way.

    I don’t understand. When I used to work I couldn’t wait to get home to see him, I wouldn’t actually make plans with a friend until I found out what he was doing first. But he’s the opposite he makes plans for himself and sometimes us then tells me about it. It infurriates me that he doesn’t check with me. He doesn’t know the reason why he has to tell me.

    I do all the cooking and cleaning and housework and In five years he’s never done a load of launry or picked his clothes up or cleaned a dish or watched our daughter for more than an hour. And Ok there’s the argument that that’s my job and he does his job but I said to him my job is 24/7. I never get a break. Can u offer to watch our daughter for a couple hours Once? Or offer to change her or bathe her or play with her. He loves her so much I know he does really so why do I have to force him to do these things. And when he does do them because I’ve made him he acts helpless and he can’t handle it and saying oh she wants her Mommy she needs you, oh my back hurts take her. And he want’s more kids! If the father works really hard doesn’t he still owe a minimum amount of just bonding with his kid? I feel like our relationship has morphed into a 50’s the woman does this and the Man does this. I feel like a single Mom most days. We need help, what can I do? what can I say to get him to understand?

  5. I know this is long but if you’re a reg, TC or professional, please consider reading this even if you don’t want to respond. I honestly don’t know what to do with myself. Many regs here know that I state that I am a qualified mental health practitioner. That is true – I would never lie about a qualification I do not have or pretend to be somebody I am not.

    I do not currently work in mental health because of a traumatic even 12 months ago. I was set-up by an angry ex-partner when I found out he was having an affair and threatened to tell his ‘other woman’.

    In order to stop me, he got me sectioned. Very easy for him to do as he was a police sergeant. It took one call and I was dragged off for no reason. He told them I was about to commit suicide. I was not. He just wanted me out of the way to buy himself time to protect himself.

    I was treated ok by the police, but horrendously by hospital staff including members of the crisis team and ward staff. My level of distress grew tenfold every day because they kept tricking me over and over, saying I only needed to stay one night then I could go, Three days later they were still holding me. I was crying and begging to be freed but they told me I could not go. The section had been lifted before I even got to hospital for assessment (yes, really!). They had no holding powers on me and they kept telling me I was there voluntarily. I was not. To this day in my notes it says I was there on a voluntary basis yet I tried everything to try to get out.

    They had told me I was not able to see a psychiatrist for another 12 days as they only visited the ward every 2 weeks. Being a mental health practitioner, I knew this was rubbish and knew my legal rights and so I called a solicitor. She visited the ward twice and told the staff they were holding me illegally. She told them they must either let me go or section me. On both occasions, the staff told her they would call a psychiatrist and get them to assess me that same day with a view to allowing me to go home, The solicitor would leave the ward, and the staff would NOT call a psychiatrist to come and talk to me, In fact they did nothing but lie and abuse me. I did not eat one single thing for five days and had less than two tiny cups of water each day. In fact it was only after I left that I realised that at no point did they offer me food. I was exhausted, weak, angry and actually began to feel genuinely suicidal over the captivity and deceit. I looked for ways to end my life and found none. I could not believe what was happening to me – as if finding out the man I’d been with for two years had been cheating the whole time, not ON me with WITH ME. I was his ‘other woman’ but neither his partner nor myself had any inkling. He lived a double life that whole time and now I was having to face this trauma which went against EVERYTHING I’d been taught at university and every instict I had.

    After several days, I actually escaped from the psychiatric ward. I cannot tell you how because I do not want to give vulnerable people who NEED to be in hospital ideas on how to get out, but escape I did, and I jumped on the first bus I saw and fled to a train station and got many miles away. I hid there for two weeks, staying each night in a different hotel, paying for everything with cash so I could not be traced via bank statements.

    On three occasions I was returning to the hotels for the night after a day quite literally on the run and found police cars parked outside. I ran and hid until they left, convinced they had tracked me down and were waiting to transport me back to Hell behind locked doors.

    Eventually I returned home. The police turned up several minutes after I returned. It was a dumb cop probably too delirious from doughnut munching to care about his job. He found me eventually, hiding in my wardrobe. He didn’t even know the circumstances or that I was supposed to be in hospital. In fact he knew nothing except one of the neighbours had called the police after seeing me return. The police had apparently asked the neighbours to call 999 if any of them saw me, and one of them had. He didn’t know why he’d been sent. Somehow I managed to blag my way out of it and he left, clueless.

    Since then, I have had the biggest hatred for mental health services like you wouldn’t believe. My anger boils constantly because they have taken away my career – I can no longer work with other MH professionals because I trust NONE. My answers here on Yahoo Answers are my only way of exercising what I have learnt and my urge to help and advise others is as strong as it ever was.

    I feel traumatised by my experience. I will never and can never work with mental health services again, either as a patient or professional. My instinct to keep every tiny aspect of my life incredibly private is so strong that I barely talk to anybody now.

    What do I do? Please don’t suggest counse
    Sorry – counselling or anything to do with mental health. I am scared, angry and lost.
    DD, I’ll try to answer with not many characters!

    In the UK a psychiatrist MUST assess patient before discharge even if they are there voluntarily. Nobody can just walk out at any time. Legally if a vol. patient asks to leave, they need to call a psych during the day and ask them to come and eval with a view to discharge. Staff said they would call one, but then refused to do so. The solicitor would have been breaking the law trying to get me out without an eval.

    The unit was locked & staff on the door 24/7. I could not just walk out. Bars on windows, that kind of thing.

    I would have refused food regardless. I had not taken anything prior to admission & they do blood tests to check this. No meds/drugs/alcohol in system. ‘Inmates’ flocked to kitchen area at mealtimes but I was never called for a meal or told I had to eat. Nobody offered to bring toast to my room, for example. I refused to eat/sit with patients as I would be seen to be complying with their abuse & I was not a patient a
    I was not a patient and did not want a reputation of being amongst the others patients (I would not socialise in case of of them knew me!)

    Cannot go back and ‘get records’. Here you have to apply to see medical records and they only give you the very basic stuff that they don’t mind you reading. No way would info in there from that lock up be released to me.

    After I left I was hiding because I had escaped from a locked psychiatric ward. The police kept calling my mobile and leaving messages asking me to go back or meet them anywhere I wanted. I was on ‘red alert’ – what the cops call ‘high risk missing’ partly due to the state I was in when I left and partly due to absconding. It means police were out looking for me and could 136 me in the street and take me back if they found me (sectioning in a public place). I was not scared by the cop/ex. I knew he wouldn’t hurt me – we are not talking domestic violence. It’s abuse of power but he never ever physically hurt me in any way.
    DD, I’ll try to answer with not many characters!

    In the UK a psychiatrist MUST assess patient before discharge even if they are there voluntarily. Nobody can just walk out at any time. Legally if a vol. patient asks to leave, they need to call a psych during the day and ask them to come and eval with a view to discharge. Staff said they would call one, but then refused to do so. The solicitor would have been breaking the law trying to get me out without an eval.

    The unit was locked & staff on the door 24/7. I could not just walk out. Bars on windows, that kind of thing.

    I would have refused food regardless. I had not taken anything prior to admission & they do blood tests to check this. No meds/drugs/alcohol in system. ‘Inmates’ flocked to kitchen area at mealtimes but I was never called for a meal or told I had to eat. Nobody offered to bring toast to my room, for example. I refused to eat/sit with patients as I would be seen to be complying with their abuse & I was not a patient a

  6. I met a girl on a matchmaking service as I could use a diversion for my time while overseas as a deployed soldier in Iraq. She and I spoke for six months online before I was able to come home and finally meet her. We talked about everything- including past relationships. She mentioned how she had lived with an older guy for three years when she turned 18, but that she broke it off because she thought he had cheated on her, he didn’t treat her well, and he wasn’t willing to settle down and marry her. Once we met, she and I fell in love and everything was great for the first several months of our relationship- I even moved in with her after leaving the Army.

    She introduced me to many of her friends, one of them a guy who we will call Rick. Rick was very nice to me, always buying me drinks, and he even offered me a job if I wanted it as I had just left the service. My GF had started a restaurant, and Rick’s contracting company did the majority of the work on the building because she had asked him to do it. Rick even had an office upstairs in the building for his contracting company- right next to my GF’s. When my GFs restaurant opened its doors, my GF hired Rick’s sister to be his bookkeeper- and I was also introduced by my GF to Rick’s entire family when they came in for dinner (which was fairly often). Rick helped bartend for the opening night of the restaurant. My GF was best friends with Rick’s brother’s wife, and my GF would always run to Rick when there were problems with the restaurant. There were several times when I found them upstairs together- alone, talking about things with the door closed. I had my suspicions, so I asked my GF how she got to know Rick- and she said he was just a friend she had known through her best friend (the one who was married to Rick’s brother).

    It wasn’t until we had been actually dating for six months (but talking for over a year) that I discovered the truth about my GF and Rick, just by casual conversation when someone told me he had given her a cheap rate on the construction for the restaurant because they had dated in the past. As I’m sure you know by now, Rick was the guy my GF had lived with for three years. I confronted her about it, and her response was that yes, they had lived together and dated, but that things between them were over. I told her I didn’t want her to talk to him anymore- but it was an impossible request. His sister worked for her, he had a contract for the office upstairs (so he would almost be guaranteed to see her every day for the next two years) and her best friend was married to his brother, so it would be hard for her to see her best friend without occasionally seeing him as well.

    I started snooping around to satisfy my curiosity. Even though it had been a couple years since they dated, she still had BOXES of photos of them together on beaches in Mexico and Jamaica- a place she and I were planning to go. She had an “I Love You” video she made for him still on her computer. There were no photos of any other person she dated- just pictures of those two together. When I confronted her about this, she did throw the pictures away, but only after I told her about them.

    My GF reassured me that there was nothing going on, and I believed her. Rick told me the same thing when he found out I knew. I don’t think she wants to date him, but I think that for whatever reason she likes having him around. It has been five months since I learned of this, and I still can’t get over it- how inconsiderate she was to put me in this situation, how she deceived me by lying about it/not telling me about it (which I think is a HUGE deal), and how I never would have moved in with her if I had known the truth beforehand.

    Am I crazy to think that most people would want to leave their past behind instead of seeing it walk through the door everyday?

    I care about this girl, but this has been tearing me apart for five months and I don’t know how to get over it. I feel like if I had known about it sooner, I could’ve gotten over it- but the fact that she lied about it for so many months makes me not trust her. And here’s the kicker- before all this came out, she told me when she was younger she had an abortion- from someone else. She could tell me that (which I think is a MUCH bigger secret) but she didn’t want to tell me about Rick- doesn’t that sound fishy? I find myself looking for excuses to make her feel bad about dating him and lying about it- which I know is never a good sign.

    Any advice is welcome.

    Thanks.
    Now that I know this guy- and I’ve learned even more about his scumbaggery since first meeting him- it makes me wonder what kind of taste my GF had in men before meeting me…. It makes me feel like I could do better…especially since now I wonder what else she’s hiding from me (because I don’t feel like I can really trust her).

  7. I met a girl on a matchmaking service as I could use a diversion for my time while overseas as a deployed soldier in Iraq. She and I spoke for six months online before I was able to come home and finally meet her. We talked about everything- including past relationships. She mentioned how she had lived with an older guy for three years when she turned 18, but that she broke it off because she thought he had cheated on her, he didn’t treat her well, and he wasn’t willing to settle down and marry her. Once we met, she and I fell in love and everything was great for the first several months of our relationship- I even moved in with her after leaving the Army.

    She introduced me to many of her friends, one of them a guy who we will call Rick. Rick was very nice to me, always buying me drinks, and he even offered me a job if I wanted it as I had just left the service. My GF had started a restaurant, and Rick’s contracting company did the majority of the work on the building because she had asked him to do it. Rick even had an office upstairs in the building for his contracting company- right next to my GF’s. When my GFs restaurant opened its doors, my GF hired Rick’s sister to be his bookkeeper- and I was also introduced by my GF to Rick’s entire family when they came in for dinner (which was fairly often). Rick helped bartend for the opening night of the restaurant. My GF was best friends with Rick’s brother’s wife, and my GF would always run to Rick when there were problems with the restaurant. There were several times when I found them upstairs together- alone, talking about things with the door closed. I had my suspicions, so I asked my GF how she got to know Rick- and she said he was just a friend she had known through her best friend (the one who was married to Rick’s brother).

    It wasn’t until we had been actually dating for six months (but talking for over a year) that I discovered the truth about my GF and Rick, just by casual conversation when someone told me he had given her a cheap rate on the construction for the restaurant because they had dated in the past. As I’m sure you know by now, Rick was the guy my GF had lived with for three years. I confronted her about it, and her response was that yes, they had lived together and dated, but that things between them were over. I told her I didn’t want her to talk to him anymore- but it was an impossible request. His sister worked for her, he had a contract for the office upstairs (so he would almost be guaranteed to see her every day for the next two years) and her best friend was married to his brother, so it would be hard for her to see her best friend without occasionally seeing him as well.

    I started snooping around to satisfy my curiosity. Even though it had been a couple years since they dated, she still had BOXES of photos of them together on beaches in Mexico and Jamaica- a place she and I were planning to go. She had an “I Love You” video she made for him still on her computer. There were no photos of any other person she dated- just pictures of those two together. When I confronted her about this, she did throw the pictures away, but only after I told her about them.

    My GF reassured me that there was nothing going on, and I believed her. Rick told me the same thing when he found out I knew. I don’t think she wants to date him, but I think that for whatever reason she likes having him around. It has been five months since I learned of this, and I still can’t get over it- how inconsiderate she was to put me in this situation, how she deceived me by lying about it/not telling me about it (which I think is a HUGE deal), and how I never would have moved in with her if I had known the truth beforehand.

    Am I crazy to think that most people would want to leave their past behind instead of seeing it walk through the door everyday?

    I care about this girl, but this has been tearing me apart for five months and I don’t know how to get over it. I feel like if I had known about it sooner, I could’ve gotten over it- but the fact that she lied about it for so many months makes me not trust her. And here’s the kicker- before all this came out, she told me when she was younger she had an abortion- from someone else. She could tell me that (which I think is a MUCH bigger secret) but she didn’t want to tell me about Rick- doesn’t that sound fishy? I find myself looking for excuses to make her feel bad about dating him and lying about it- which I know is never a good sign.

    Any advice is welcome.

    Thanks.
    Now that I know this guy- and I’ve learned even more about his scumbaggery since first meeting him- it makes me wonder what kind of taste my GF had in men before meeting me…. It makes me feel like I could do better…especially since now I wonder what else she’s hiding from me (because I don’t feel like I can really trust her).

  8. I did ask a similar question but it was only for the last 2-3 paragraphs and I think that people thought that it was the begining, well heres the whole thing at the moment. Lastly I know that to older people it may not apeal, but this is a story for teens etc, so that may be the reason why. I know my grammar isn’t perfect and I understand that.

    Preface

    My name is Chezney Wilson. I’m not some famous celebrity chased by the paparazzi that you see tend to always see nowadays. I’m not even some random wannabe that tags along with the largest crowds just to be noticed and appreciated. I don’t want to be any of those people. I just want to be a normal and regular guy, that tries to help others as much as he can. Who does his best to try and make the world just that little better. Well I thought that I was just a normal and regular guy, but as it turned out, there was more to me then even I knew.

    Chapter One

    A New Start

    Being a lonely child and having your parents split up is incredibly hard. First of all, your most likely going to be confused, hurt and scared as you have no idea for if it is your fathers fault, your mothers or maybe even yours. That’s immediately how I felt when my parents got divorced, and these were my exact feelings on the twenty sixth of may, two thousand and ten, five days before my eighteenth birthday, when I found myself sitting beside my Dad, Harry Wilson, in the front passenger seat of his shiny new black Porsche. My Dad is kind of rich; he had a big job in a hospital. Actually he was known as the best doctor in all Seattle which I think that this was the problem, that my Mom, didn’t think that my Dad spent enough time at home. However now that we had left Seattle; due to both his and my Mom’s, final decision. My Dad has been offered a new job as the chief doctor in Traverse City, Michigan. I don’t really pay any attention to the fact that my Dad earns a great deal of money each year, as cash isn’t really everything, its really all about what you want to do in life. That is why in the backseat, my bass guitar is safely lieing down on a few fully packed suitcases. Music is just one of the subjects that I fully enjoy, to me life without music is simply unbearable, I play guitar and sometimes only when I’m alone, I tend to sing a little. When school is involved, I’m not exactly the cleverest in my classes, I guess you can say that I’m an average B plus student. I put a lot of effort into my education as its important and a few good grades, can make nice decorations on the kitchen refrigerator.
    After a another slow two and a half hour drive, we soon started to arrive at the city’s entrance. Feeling extremely bored due to the lack of activity, I gazed into the small side view mirror and took a good look at my appearance, ready for when we finally got out of the car. As I swept my long and dark fringe away from my right eye, my hard, piercing and still a little upset, blue eye slowly blinked back in my direction. Apart from the clear signs of lack of sleep that had started to creep around the bottom of both of my eyes, they seemed to both looked perfectly fine.
    “That’s what you need, plenty of sleep,” remarked my Dad suddenly, still keeping his eyes on the busy road in front of us as we slowly came to a short bend. This remark sounded strange because apart from the quick, ‘Are you ready?’ he had asked before we had left, this was the first thing that he had said throughout the whole trip.
    “Maybe,” I muttered, not taking any notice of what he had just said. As I looked away from the side view mirror, I managed to catch a small glimpse of the city’s tall welcome sign, as it towered above us for just a quick a second. Feeling awkward, he slowly shuffled around in his seat and then took a quick sip of his strong smelling black coffee. Wanting to avoid this awkward moment, I looked out of my window and noticed that there were a lot of people and stores flashing by, then there had been around five minutes ago.
    As we gradually began to drive deeper into the city, it soon became to feel incredibly boring. For no apparent reason, I tightly closed my eyes and reopened them five minutes later, to find that we had just left the city and now started to pass the most beautiful looking beach that I had ever seen. As if the beach was somehow controlling me, I rolled down my window, allowing a gentle breeze to enter, so that I could see everything even more clearly. Everything about the beach looked amazing its golden sand as it glinted in the strong sun light and the clear deep blue water.
    “I knew that you would like this place,” Dad eagerly remarked, as he took a quick and hopeful look in my direction. Without answering, I knew inside that he was right, this place was extreme. “Kind of beautiful isn’t it?” he asked, as we stopped at a set of lights, to let a group of laughing teens, carrying surf boards, cross the road. Giving the beach one last look, I turned to look at Dad, as I

  9. I met a girl on a matchmaking service as I could use a diversion for my time while overseas as a deployed soldier in Iraq. She and I spoke for six months online before I was able to come home and finally meet her. We talked about everything- including past relationships. She mentioned how she had lived with an older guy for three years when she turned 18, but that she broke it off because she thought he had cheated on her, he didn’t treat her well, and he wasn’t willing to settle down and marry her. Once we met, she and I fell in love and everything was great for the first several months of our relationship- I even moved in with her after leaving the Army.

    She introduced me to many of her friends, one of them a guy who we will call Rick. Rick was very nice to me, always buying me drinks, and he even offered me a job if I wanted it as I had just left the service. My GF had started a restaurant, and Rick’s contracting company did the majority of the work on the building because she had asked him to do it. Rick even had an office upstairs in the building for his contracting company- right next to my GF’s. When my GFs restaurant opened its doors, my GF hired Rick’s sister to be his bookkeeper- and I was also introduced by my GF to Rick’s entire family when they came in for dinner (which was fairly often). Rick helped bartend for the opening night of the restaurant. My GF was best friends with Rick’s brother’s wife, and my GF would always run to Rick when there were problems with the restaurant. There were several times when I found them upstairs together- alone, talking about things with the door closed. I had my suspicions, so I asked my GF how she got to know Rick- and she said he was just a friend she had known through her best friend (the one who was married to Rick’s brother).

    It wasn’t until we had been actually dating for six months (but talking for over a year) that I discovered the truth about my GF and Rick, just by casual conversation when someone told me he had given her a cheap rate on the construction for the restaurant because they had dated in the past. As I’m sure you know by now, Rick was the guy my GF had lived with for three years. I confronted her about it, and her response was that yes, they had lived together and dated, but that things between them were over. I told her I didn’t want her to talk to him anymore- but it was an impossible request. His sister worked for her, he had a contract for the office upstairs (so he would almost be guaranteed to see her every day for the next two years) and her best friend was married to his brother, so it would be hard for her to see her best friend without occasionally seeing him as well.

    I started snooping around to satisfy my curiosity. Even though it had been a couple years since they dated, she still had BOXES of photos of them together on beaches in Mexico and Jamaica- a place she and I were planning to go. She had an “I Love You” video she made for him still on her computer. There were no photos of any other person she dated- just pictures of those two together. When I confronted her about this, she did throw the pictures away, but only after I told her about them.

    My GF reassured me that there was nothing going on, and I believed her. Rick told me the same thing when he found out I knew. I don’t think she wants to date him, but I think that for whatever reason she likes having him around. It has been five months since I learned of this, and I still can’t get over it- how inconsiderate she was to put me in this situation, how she deceived me by lying about it/not telling me about it (which I think is a HUGE deal), and how I never would have moved in with her if I had known the truth beforehand.

    Am I crazy to think that most people would want to leave their past behind instead of seeing it walk through the door everyday?

    I care about this girl, but this has been tearing me apart for five months and I don’t know how to get over it. I feel like if I had known about it sooner, I could’ve gotten over it- but the fact that she lied about it for so many months makes me not trust her. And here’s the kicker- before all this came out, she told me when she was younger she had an abortion- from someone else. She could tell me that (which I think is a MUCH bigger secret) but she didn’t want to tell me about Rick- doesn’t that sound fishy? I find myself looking for excuses to make her feel bad about dating him and lying about it- which I know is never a good sign.

    Any advice is welcome.

    Thanks.
    Now that I know this guy- and I’ve learned even more about his scumbaggery since first meeting him- it makes me wonder what kind of taste my GF had in men before meeting me…. It makes me feel like I could do better…especially since now I wonder what else she’s hiding from me (because I don’t feel like I can really trust her).

  10. my mom has attempted suicide again. I found Christ when I was expecting my son, I repented for my lifestyle and being unmarried. Five years later I started to date, sinned with two men I though each I was going to marry and had to repent so fully I know I will never do so again, by the grace of our the holy spirit, Jesus Christ and our holy God. My mom since she was young, she had a horrible, unmentionable childhood and was suicidal since younger, I thought she was doing better but has tried to drink and take pills about three to four times since I knew about her tries when I was 14. I feel bad I depended on her for a place to live and money with my son so I could raise him but I guess I thought because she had a lot of money it was okay and she was helping me financiallly so I could be there raise him to have love and follow Jesus and God. I have given her money, usually in a lump sum, but she was also generous. I tried to help her by being there for her also. I finallly moved out in the end of February again, this time to my own place, thanks to God. My son broke his arm and I had a problem with the first apartment but I did not ask her for money, but stayed with her a few days in between after she said she wanted us to. I also borrowed her car, to take my son to a bone doctor that was too far for my car, because she offered. I realize I should have said no. Anyway, she has other things going on, she can’t keep a job for some reason and she left one in December because her boss wasn’t nice or good and has been turned down a lot. She also has problems with most of our family members she says it is all our fault, because her three kids and family members never help her. I have tried to. I tell her I love her and Jesus and God loves her and she scoffs at me and tells me to go away. She is running out of money because she had about 15,000 since January but it is dwindling. So she said she was going to commit suicide and can’t take it (she says this a lot) but she had a will notarized last week and sent what was very like a suicde letter through email to my brother. That night I called 911 because she told me goodbye and tell my son to live a good life and she is sorry she wasn’t a good mother and we are all ungrateful and goodbye to everyone.

    I called 911 they took her to a hospital, and then a mental hospital for one day. She got out and told me and my brother to never contact her again. I thought she was mad, but hopefull she got past those dire feelings. She called her mom and cousin and said basically we made it up, she just sent that letter in case and she wouldn’t do anything to commit suicide. We were upset but relieved she was alive. Then she texted my uncle, goodbye the next day in a way where he was really worried so he called the police, they found her in the bathroom. She had slit her wrist. They said she had three minutes I am told, she was in ICU. Yesterday she was transferred to a regular room, I went to see her in ICU told her I loved her, Jesus and God lover her and we want her to feel better. She told me leave, get out, go away. I did. My 15 year old sister wanted to see her the next day. I went to support her and her dad, my stepfather before the divorce, and she asked to see my son after. I let her talk to him because she has done a lot for him, then she was really angry started yelling and being mean to me, so I left with him. She is angry with us, says it is the people around hers fault. They can’t tell us how she is now because she won’t let them by law, and is being rude. I am worried they will let her go, I don’t know what to do. I put it in the hands of God and pray for salvaiton in Jesus Christ to save her. I don’t know what else should be done

  11. Step daughter is 23 with a kid. She graduated college 18 mos ago. She had a baby, has never worked a day in her life. My husband has been paying for everything. He is now regretting it. It is debilitating her. She lives with the belief that she does not have to work and she can use anyone anyway she wants. My husband is likely going to be laid off. It dawned on me today that he basically treated her like his wife (without the spousal duties). He has 3 kids. He bought her a brand new car, a 1000 dollar great dane, designer everything, a condo, top notch furniture. all she has to do is well – nothing. He pays Cobra Insurance for her because she is a grown up and the insurance lapsed.

    She has been fighting custody over the baby with the father, but really all they (the father of the baby) want is standard visitation. She lives in another state and we have asked her to come home but she won’t because of one reason or another (including the father of the baby won’t allow it). We told her she could come live here, but who would want to leave a spacious condo with cherry hardwood floors to live in a crowded house, right? We offered that we could watch the baby while she works if she moves down here. She said no, she was going to go to graduate school.

    She wants the father of the baby not to have any rights whatsoever, so she wants about $10,000 to pay for a lawyer. My husband said he is no longer going to pay her way and that he agrees that he has been allowing her to live in a fantasy world and he wants to stop doing this.

    She was just hired for a job for $15 an hour and full benefits, he would have been willing to continue making house payments to help her out until she could get on her feet, but she turned down the job because she felt that daycare would be traumatic on the 10 month old baby. Then she called back and said she just bought a GPS navigation system for 200 bucks and could dad please put money in her account! I was floored. I have been in the situation of having a child alone and I never in my wildest dreams would have thought to have bought a “luxury” item, especially when it was not needed.

    I am also worried because she is so set on being able to give her infant daughter psychotic meds because she thinks that the child may need it in the future and does not want the father of this infant to have any say so. I just have this feeling like my husband is going behind my back and going to give her money the minute she starts crying. She refuses to accept any responsibility. She won’t get a job. She makes excuses, she is manipulative and she knows exactly what to say to get money from her dad. He doesn’t have a backbone where she’s concerned. When he tells her to do something, he says it in a manner that sounds more like he is afraid to get through to her she cannot carry on like this. He is afraid of losing her.

    She honestly believes that the salary my husband makes is her salary. She acts as though she has the same rights as a spouse. My husband and I have talked but I am having serious doubts that he will follow through.

    She calls him an a-hole and then turns around and talks about him dying and tells him that since he married me, if affects her inheritance. They sat at Thanksgiving Dinner and told their dad that he needed to go die basically. But he does not hear what his kids tell him or basically takes it as a joke. My kids have never told me to go die (maybe go to hell, but not die). Then she started in that the dishes that were given to him in his first wife’s marriage (she deceased) and that she wants them and is entitled to them. He bought many of the pieces to make it a complete set. We would likely have given them to her later, but she feels some direct and immediate entitlement to them.

    So today I heard her talking about my five year and making accusations that were not true and I just yelled at my husband who was ever so nicely telling her she was not being appropriate, I told her to take care of herself and her child and quit manipulating her father. He got mad at me because she hung up on him. I told him I did not care to hear anymore because all she does is talk. I am thinking I should get a job albeit it would be considerably less than what he could make, but I may end up having to leave because I am really having a hard time thinking I could live with this. I had not realized he is basically married to this child, who thinks she has entitlement.

    I have been through a lot of sad times, I have been through rough times. My parents were well off and did not offer me a “bail out” I went through college nursing a child and working. I did not get ammenities like a PC to type my papers I had to drive over an hour to get to a computer and usually had to stay up 3-4 days at a time during finals weeks. I don’t desire more money or “things” for myself. I can take care of myself. It’s the attitude of this girl and the way she treats her father that makes me infu

  12. I did ask a similar question but it was only for the last 2-3 paragraphs and I think that people thought that it was the begining, well heres the whole thing at the moment. Lastly I know that to older people it may not apeal, but this is a story for teens etc, so that may be the reason why. I know my grammar isn’t perfect and I understand that.

    Preface

    My name is Chezney Wilson. I’m not some famous celebrity chased by the paparazzi that you see tend to always see nowadays. I’m not even some random wannabe that tags along with the largest crowds just to be noticed and appreciated. I don’t want to be any of those people. I just want to be a normal and regular guy, that tries to help others as much as he can. Who does his best to try and make the world just that little better. Well I thought that I was just a normal and regular guy, but as it turned out, there was more to me then even I knew.

    Chapter One

    A New Start

    Being a lonely child and having your parents split up is incredibly hard. First of all, your most likely going to be confused, hurt and scared as you have no idea for if it is your fathers fault, your mothers or maybe even yours. That’s immediately how I felt when my parents got divorced, and these were my exact feelings on the twenty sixth of may, two thousand and ten, five days before my eighteenth birthday, when I found myself sitting beside my Dad, Harry Wilson, in the front passenger seat of his shiny new black Porsche. My Dad is kind of rich; he had a big job in a hospital. Actually he was known as the best doctor in all Seattle which I think that this was the problem, that my Mom, didn’t think that my Dad spent enough time at home. However now that we had left Seattle; due to both his and my Mom’s, final decision. My Dad has been offered a new job as the chief doctor in Traverse City, Michigan. I don’t really pay any attention to the fact that my Dad earns a great deal of money each year, as cash isn’t really everything, its really all about what you want to do in life. That is why in the backseat, my bass guitar is safely lieing down on a few fully packed suitcases. Music is just one of the subjects that I fully enjoy, to me life without music is simply unbearable, I play guitar and sometimes only when I’m alone, I tend to sing a little. When school is involved, I’m not exactly the cleverest in my classes, I guess you can say that I’m an average B plus student. I put a lot of effort into my education as its important and a few good grades, can make nice decorations on the kitchen refrigerator.
    After a another slow two and a half hour drive, we soon started to arrive at the city’s entrance. Feeling extremely bored due to the lack of activity, I gazed into the small side view mirror and took a good look at my appearance, ready for when we finally got out of the car. As I swept my long and dark fringe away from my right eye, my hard, piercing and still a little upset, blue eye slowly blinked back in my direction. Apart from the clear signs of lack of sleep that had started to creep around the bottom of both of my eyes, they seemed to both looked perfectly fine.
    “That’s what you need, plenty of sleep,” remarked my Dad suddenly, still keeping his eyes on the busy road in front of us as we slowly came to a short bend. This remark sounded strange because apart from the quick, ‘Are you ready?’ he had asked before we had left, this was the first thing that he had said throughout the whole trip.
    “Maybe,” I muttered, not taking any notice of what he had just said. As I looked away from the side view mirror, I managed to catch a small glimpse of the city’s tall welcome sign, as it towered above us for just a quick a second. Feeling awkward, he slowly shuffled around in his seat and then took a quick sip of his strong smelling black coffee. Wanting to avoid this awkward moment, I looked out of my window and noticed that there were a lot of people and stores flashing by, then there had been around five minutes ago.
    As we gradually began to drive deeper into the city, it soon became to feel incredibly boring. For no apparent reason, I tightly closed my eyes and reopened them five minutes later, to find that we had just left the city and now started to pass the most beautiful looking beach that I had ever seen. As if the beach was somehow controlling me, I rolled down my window, allowing a gentle breeze to enter, so that I could see everything even more clearly. Everything about the beach looked amazing its golden sand as it glinted in the strong sun light and the clear deep blue water.
    “I knew that you would like this place,” Dad eagerly remarked, as he took a quick and hopeful look in my direction. Without answering, I knew inside that he was right, this place was extreme. “Kind of beautiful isn’t it?” he asked, as we stopped at a set of lights, to let a group of laughing teens, carrying surf boards, cross the road. Giving the beach one last look, I turned to look at Dad, as I

  13. my mom has attempted suicide again. I found Christ when I was expecting my son, I repented for my lifestyle and being unmarried. Five years later I started to date, sinned with two men I though each I was going to marry and had to repent so fully I know I will never do so again, by the grace of our the holy spirit, Jesus Christ and our holy God. My mom since she was young, she had a horrible, unmentionable childhood and was suicidal since younger, I thought she was doing better but has tried to drink and take pills about three to four times since I knew about her tries when I was 14. I feel bad I depended on her for a place to live and money with my son so I could raise him but I guess I thought because she had a lot of money it was okay and she was helping me financiallly so I could be there raise him to have love and follow Jesus and God. I have given her money, usually in a lump sum, but she was also generous. I tried to help her by being there for her also. I finallly moved out in the end of February again, this time to my own place, thanks to God. My son broke his arm and I had a problem with the first apartment but I did not ask her for money, but stayed with her a few days in between after she said she wanted us to. I also borrowed her car, to take my son to a bone doctor that was too far for my car, because she offered. I realize I should have said no. Anyway, she has other things going on, she can’t keep a job for some reason and she left one in December because her boss wasn’t nice or good and has been turned down a lot. She also has problems with most of our family members she says it is all our fault, because her three kids and family members never help her. I have tried to. I tell her I love her and Jesus and God loves her and she scoffs at me and tells me to go away. She is running out of money because she had about 15,000 since January but it is dwindling. So she said she was going to commit suicide and can’t take it (she says this a lot) but she had a will notarized last week and sent what was very like a suicde letter through email to my brother. That night I called 911 because she told me goodbye and tell my son to live a good life and she is sorry she wasn’t a good mother and we are all ungrateful and goodbye to everyone.

    I called 911 they took her to a hospital, and then a mental hospital for one day. She got out and told me and my brother to never contact her again. I thought she was mad, but hopefull she got past those dire feelings. She called her mom and cousin and said basically we made it up, she just sent that letter in case and she wouldn’t do anything to commit suicide. We were upset but relieved she was alive. Then she texted my uncle, goodbye the next day in a way where he was really worried so he called the police, they found her in the bathroom. She had slit her wrist. They said she had three minutes I am told, she was in ICU. Yesterday she was transferred to a regular room, I went to see her in ICU told her I loved her, Jesus and God lover her and we want her to feel better. She told me leave, get out, go away. I did. My 15 year old sister wanted to see her the next day. I went to support her and her dad, my stepfather before the divorce, and she asked to see my son after. I let her talk to him because she has done a lot for him, then she was really angry started yelling and being mean to me, so I left with him. She is angry with us, says it is the people around hers fault. They can’t tell us how she is now because she won’t let them by law, and is being rude. I am worried they will let her go, I don’t know what to do. I put it in the hands of God and pray for salvaiton in Jesus Christ to save her. I don’t know what else should be done

  14. Alright so i met my bf cameron in september and as cheesy as it sounds, i fell in love with him instantly. I’ve had a lot of short relationships and we lasted 7 months. the first 5 were heaven/perfect/amazing…you name it. we were perfect and i’ve never been so happy. he told me he loved me, and i told him i loved him too. i’ve said it to one person before but later realized that i was very naive at that time, so i dont really count it any more. i meant it with cameron though. i felt completely content and for the first time in my life, didnt even LOOK at other guys! that’s never happened before with me.

    but like i said, it was perfect for the first five months. we’ve been together 7. we started having problems when he started not being able to make time for me. he also got a new job on top of it, although it started before he was hired. i was pretty understanding and didnt even say anything for a while. he has school and work and those need to be a priority. but it wasnt just that he didnt have a lot of time any more…he started breaking promises and just being a downright douche. i ended up telling him i wanted to break up, and we talked it out to the point where i agreed to a break until summer when maybe we could try things again.

    so we go on a break, but meanwhile my car was broken. cameron is kind of a mechanic so he had told me he would fix it since i dont have a lot of money. but now that we were broken up, it would have been too weird. this guy colton i know a little offered to fix it for free and i wasnt about to turn him down. we hadnt really hung out before but while we were hanging out, fixing my car and stuff, we actually got to be really good friends. he told me he had feelings for me, but i explained that i still loved cameron and although i was technically single, i wasnt interested in dating anybody.

    now me and cameron are back together and working things out. he has changed quite a bit and i SHOULD be completely happy. but for some reason i’m not. i dont know what happened, but i’m almost indifferent now when it comes to cameron. i dont feel anything at all when i kiss him and i feel nothing when we say i love you to each other. at first i though it was because of colton, that maybe i DO have feelings for him. but the more i thought about it, i could tell that wasnt it. i just feel like being single or something, but that doesnt seem like enough of a reason. i was HEAD OVER FRIGGIN HEELS for cameron. and when we broke up all i could think about was being with him again. but now that we are back together i just feel bored and emotionless. there’s no spark any more and i dont know why. i was also really attracted to him physically before and now that’s gone too. his sense of humor cracked me up before and now he just irritates me. i cant even figure out what i saw in him before! what the heck happened?! i’ve cared way less about guys before and not been able to let go and move on. now with cameron who i genuinely loved and wanted to be with, those feelings that were so strong just disappeared. how though? i just dont understand what happened! i feel guilty still leading him on thinking things are fine, and i want to break up again honestly. i know he’ll just think it’s for colton though and it’s not. why is this happening and what do i do?! please help me :/

  15. I know this is long but if you’re a reg, TC or professional, please consider reading this even if you don’t want to respond. I honestly don’t know what to do with myself. Many regs here know that I state that I am a qualified mental health practitioner. That is true – I would never lie about a qualification I do not have or pretend to be somebody I am not.

    I do not currently work in mental health because of a traumatic even 12 months ago. I was set-up by an angry ex-partner when I found out he was having an affair and threatened to tell his ‘other woman’.

    In order to stop me, he got me sectioned. Very easy for him to do as he was a police sergeant. It took one call and I was dragged off for no reason. He told them I was about to commit suicide. I was not. He just wanted me out of the way to buy himself time to protect himself.

    I was treated ok by the police, but horrendously by hospital staff including members of the crisis team and ward staff. My level of distress grew tenfold every day because they kept tricking me over and over, saying I only needed to stay one night then I could go, Three days later they were still holding me. I was crying and begging to be freed but they told me I could not go. The section had been lifted before I even got to hospital for assessment (yes, really!). They had no holding powers on me and they kept telling me I was there voluntarily. I was not. To this day in my notes it says I was there on a voluntary basis yet I tried everything to try to get out.

    They had told me I was not able to see a psychiatrist for another 12 days as they only visited the ward every 2 weeks. Being a mental health practitioner, I knew this was rubbish and knew my legal rights and so I called a solicitor. She visited the ward twice and told the staff they were holding me illegally. She told them they must either let me go or section me. On both occasions, the staff told her they would call a psychiatrist and get them to assess me that same day with a view to allowing me to go home, The solicitor would leave the ward, and the staff would NOT call a psychiatrist to come and talk to me, In fact they did nothing but lie and abuse me. I did not eat one single thing for five days and had less than two tiny cups of water each day. In fact it was only after I left that I realised that at no point did they offer me food. I was exhausted, weak, angry and actually began to feel genuinely suicidal over the captivity and deceit. I looked for ways to end my life and found none. I could not believe what was happening to me – as if finding out the man I’d been with for two years had been cheating the whole time, not ON me with WITH ME. I was his ‘other woman’ but neither his partner nor myself had any inkling. He lived a double life that whole time and now I was having to face this trauma which went against EVERYTHING I’d been taught at university and every instict I had.

    After several days, I actually escaped from the psychiatric ward. I cannot tell you how because I do not want to give vulnerable people who NEED to be in hospital ideas on how to get out, but escape I did, and I jumped on the first bus I saw and fled to a train station and got many miles away. I hid there for two weeks, staying each night in a different hotel, paying for everything with cash so I could not be traced via bank statements.

    On three occasions I was returning to the hotels for the night after a day quite literally on the run and found police cars parked outside. I ran and hid until they left, convinced they had tracked me down and were waiting to transport me back to Hell behind locked doors.

    Eventually I returned home. The police turned up several minutes after I returned. It was a dumb cop probably too delirious from doughnut munching to care about his job. He found me eventually, hiding in my wardrobe. He didn’t even know the circumstances or that I was supposed to be in hospital. In fact he knew nothing except one of the neighbours had called the police after seeing me return. The police had apparently asked the neighbours to call 999 if any of them saw me, and one of them had. He didn’t know why he’d been sent. Somehow I managed to blag my way out of it and he left, clueless.

    Since then, I have had the biggest hatred for mental health services like you wouldn’t believe. My anger boils constantly because they have taken away my career – I can no longer work with other MH professionals because I trust NONE. My answers here on Yahoo Answers are my only way of exercising what I have learnt and my urge to help and advise others is as strong as it ever was.

    I feel traumatised by my experience. I will never and can never work with mental health services again, either as a patient or professional. My instinct to keep every tiny aspect of my life incredibly private is so strong that I barely talk to anybody now.

    What do I do? Please don’t suggest counse
    Sorry – counselling or anything to do with mental health. I am scared, angry and lost.
    DD, I’ll try to answer with not many characters!

    In the UK a psychiatrist MUST assess patient before discharge even if they are there voluntarily. Nobody can just walk out at any time. Legally if a vol. patient asks to leave, they need to call a psych during the day and ask them to come and eval with a view to discharge. Staff said they would call one, but then refused to do so. The solicitor would have been breaking the law trying to get me out without an eval.

    The unit was locked & staff on the door 24/7. I could not just walk out. Bars on windows, that kind of thing.

    I would have refused food regardless. I had not taken anything prior to admission & they do blood tests to check this. No meds/drugs/alcohol in system. ‘Inmates’ flocked to kitchen area at mealtimes but I was never called for a meal or told I had to eat. Nobody offered to bring toast to my room, for example. I refused to eat/sit with patients as I would be seen to be complying with their abuse & I was not a patient a
    I was not a patient and did not want a reputation of being amongst the others patients (I would not socialise in case of of them knew me!)

    Cannot go back and ‘get records’. Here you have to apply to see medical records and they only give you the very basic stuff that they don’t mind you reading. No way would info in there from that lock up be released to me.

    After I left I was hiding because I had escaped from a locked psychiatric ward. The police kept calling my mobile and leaving messages asking me to go back or meet them anywhere I wanted. I was on ‘red alert’ – what the cops call ‘high risk missing’ partly due to the state I was in when I left and partly due to absconding. It means police were out looking for me and could 136 me in the street and take me back if they found me (sectioning in a public place). I was not scared by the cop/ex. I knew he wouldn’t hurt me – we are not talking domestic violence. It’s abuse of power but he never ever physically hurt me in any way.
    DD, I’ll try to answer with not many characters!

    In the UK a psychiatrist MUST assess patient before discharge even if they are there voluntarily. Nobody can just walk out at any time. Legally if a vol. patient asks to leave, they need to call a psych during the day and ask them to come and eval with a view to discharge. Staff said they would call one, but then refused to do so. The solicitor would have been breaking the law trying to get me out without an eval.

    The unit was locked & staff on the door 24/7. I could not just walk out. Bars on windows, that kind of thing.

    I would have refused food regardless. I had not taken anything prior to admission & they do blood tests to check this. No meds/drugs/alcohol in system. ‘Inmates’ flocked to kitchen area at mealtimes but I was never called for a meal or told I had to eat. Nobody offered to bring toast to my room, for example. I refused to eat/sit with patients as I would be seen to be complying with their abuse & I was not a patient a

  16. I know this is long but if you’re a reg, TC or professional, please consider reading this even if you don’t want to respond. I honestly don’t know what to do with myself. Many regs here know that I state that I am a qualified mental health practitioner. That is true – I would never lie about a qualification I do not have or pretend to be somebody I am not.

    I do not currently work in mental health because of a traumatic even 12 months ago. I was set-up by an angry ex-partner when I found out he was having an affair and threatened to tell his ‘other woman’.

    In order to stop me, he got me sectioned. Very easy for him to do as he was a police sergeant. It took one call and I was dragged off for no reason. He told them I was about to commit suicide. I was not. He just wanted me out of the way to buy himself time to protect himself.

    I was treated ok by the police, but horrendously by hospital staff including members of the crisis team and ward staff. My level of distress grew tenfold every day because they kept tricking me over and over, saying I only needed to stay one night then I could go, Three days later they were still holding me. I was crying and begging to be freed but they told me I could not go. The section had been lifted before I even got to hospital for assessment (yes, really!). They had no holding powers on me and they kept telling me I was there voluntarily. I was not. To this day in my notes it says I was there on a voluntary basis yet I tried everything to try to get out.

    They had told me I was not able to see a psychiatrist for another 12 days as they only visited the ward every 2 weeks. Being a mental health practitioner, I knew this was a lie and knew my legal rights and so I called a solicitor who visited the ward twice & told the staff they were holding me illegally. She told them they must either let me go or section me. On both occasions, the staff told her they would call a psychiatrist & get them to assess me that same day with a view to allowing me to go home, The solicitor would leave the ward, & the staff would NOT call a psychiatrist to come and talk to me, In fact they did nothing but lie and abuse me. I did not eat one single thing for five days and had less than two tiny cups of water each day. In fact it was only after I left that I realised that at no point did they offer me food. I was exhausted, weak, angry & actually began to feel genuinely suicidal over the captivity and deceit. I looked for ways to end my life and found none. I could not believe what was happening to me – as if finding out the man I’d been with for two years had been cheating the whole time, not ON me with WITH ME. I was his ‘other woman’ but neither his partner nor myself had any inkling. He lived a double life that whole time & now I was having to face this trauma which went against EVERYTHING I believed in.

    After several days, I actually escaped from the psychiatric ward. I can’t tell you how because I do not want to give vulnerable people who NEED to be in hospital ideas on how to get out, but escape I did. I jumped on the first bus I saw & fled to a train station and got many miles away. I hid there for two weeks, staying each night in a different hotel, paying for everything with cash so I could not be traced via bank statements.

    On three occasions I was returning to the hotels for the night after a day quite literally on the run and found police cars parked outside. I ran and hid until they left, convinced they had tracked me down and were waiting to transport me back to Hell behind locked doors.

    Eventually I returned home. The police turned up several minutes after I returned. It was a dumb cop probably too delirious from doughnut munching to care about his job. He found me eventually, hiding in my wardrobe. He didn’t even know the circumstances or that I was supposed to be in hospital. In fact he knew nothing except one of the neighbours had called the police after seeing me return. The police had apparently asked the neighbours to call 999 if any of them saw me, and one of them had. He didn’t know why he’d been sent. Somehow I managed to blag my way out of it and he left, clueless.

    Since then, I have had the biggest hatred for mental health services like you wouldn’t believe. My anger boils constantly because they have taken away my career – I can no longer work with other MH professionals because I trust NONE. My answers here on Yahoo Answers are my only way of exercising what I have learnt and my urge to help and advise others is as strong as it ever was.

    I feel traumatised by my experience. I will never and can never work with mental health services again, either as a patient or professional. My instinct to keep every tiny aspect of my life incredibly private is so strong that I barely talk to anybody now.

    What do I do? Please don’t suggest counselling – ANYTHING to do with MH. I am scared, angry and lost.

  17. I know this is long but if you’re a reg, TC or professional, please consider reading this even if you don’t want to respond. I honestly don’t know what to do with myself. Many regs here know that I state that I am a qualified mental health practitioner. That is true – I would never lie about a qualification I do not have or pretend to be somebody I am not.

    I do not currently work in mental health because of a traumatic even 12 months ago. I was set-up by an angry ex-partner when I found out he was having an affair and threatened to tell his ‘other woman’.

    In order to stop me, he got me sectioned. Very easy for him to do as he was a police sergeant. It took one call and I was dragged off for no reason. He told them I was about to commit suicide. I was not. He just wanted me out of the way to buy himself time to protect himself.

    I was treated ok by the police, but horrendously by hospital staff including members of the crisis team and ward staff. My level of distress grew tenfold every day because they kept tricking me over and over, saying I only needed to stay one night then I could go, Three days later they were still holding me. I was crying and begging to be freed but they told me I could not go. The section had been lifted before I even got to hospital for assessment (yes, really!). They had no holding powers on me and they kept telling me I was there voluntarily. I was not. To this day in my notes it says I was there on a voluntary basis yet I tried everything to try to get out.

    They had told me I was not able to see a psychiatrist for another 12 days as they only visited the ward every 2 weeks. Being a mental health practitioner, I knew this was a lie and knew my legal rights and so I called a solicitor who visited the ward twice & told the staff they were holding me illegally. She told them they must either let me go or section me. On both occasions, the staff told her they would call a psychiatrist & get them to assess me that same day with a view to allowing me to go home, The solicitor would leave the ward, & the staff would NOT call a psychiatrist to come and talk to me, In fact they did nothing but lie and abuse me. I did not eat one single thing for five days and had less than two tiny cups of water each day. In fact it was only after I left that I realised that at no point did they offer me food. I was exhausted, weak, angry & actually began to feel genuinely suicidal over the captivity and deceit. I looked for ways to end my life and found none. I could not believe what was happening to me – as if finding out the man I’d been with for two years had been cheating the whole time, not ON me with WITH ME. I was his ‘other woman’ but neither his partner nor myself had any inkling. He lived a double life that whole time & now I was having to face this trauma which went against EVERYTHING I believed in.

    After several days, I actually escaped from the psychiatric ward. I can’t tell you how because I do not want to give vulnerable people who NEED to be in hospital ideas on how to get out, but escape I did. I jumped on the first bus I saw & fled to a train station and got many miles away. I hid there for two weeks, staying each night in a different hotel, paying for everything with cash so I could not be traced via bank statements.

    On three occasions I was returning to the hotels for the night after a day quite literally on the run and found police cars parked outside. I ran and hid until they left, convinced they had tracked me down and were waiting to transport me back to Hell behind locked doors.

    Eventually I returned home. The police turned up several minutes after I returned. It was a dumb cop probably too delirious from doughnut munching to care about his job. He found me eventually, hiding in my wardrobe. He didn’t even know the circumstances or that I was supposed to be in hospital. In fact he knew nothing except one of the neighbours had called the police after seeing me return. The police had apparently asked the neighbours to call 999 if any of them saw me, and one of them had. He didn’t know why he’d been sent. Somehow I managed to blag my way out of it and he left, clueless.

    Since then, I have had the biggest hatred for mental health services like you wouldn’t believe. My anger boils constantly because they have taken away my career – I can no longer work with other MH professionals because I trust NONE. My answers here on Yahoo Answers are my only way of exercising what I have learnt and my urge to help and advise others is as strong as it ever was.

    I feel traumatised by my experience. I will never and can never work with mental health services again, either as a patient or professional. My instinct to keep every tiny aspect of my life incredibly private is so strong that I barely talk to anybody now.

    What do I do? Please don’t suggest counselling – ANYTHING to do with MH. I am scared, angry and lost.

  18. my fiancee is such a stubborn guy, lovely, nice, devoted…but stubborn like…wow. He had a DWI and crashed his car like 3 years ago. Since then, he got a job, lost a job (cause it was a disreputable work place) and he has gone to court, which bumped DOWN his color for drug testing to once a month, instead of twice. If cooperative, he goes on unsupervised probation march 31. Well, he lost his job. He wouldnt call his PO nor call to see if his color was up. Everytime I asked him to call to see he would say “damnit, I know sarah! quit hounding me, I will do it. Quit pushing me, I hate that ” and he never does, the more I ask, the more pissed off he gets at me. I asked him to use my aunts phone and he was like “No, cause then they will never shut up” or he says” you know we can’t afford it, its 100$ at the hospital to get a drug test”. I try and get him off his butt to do something towards getting out of a rut and he just sits there and rather pretends it is not real..and when I tell him it wont go away he grits his teeth and scoffs going “ugh…I KNOW SARAH…shut up..” then he has this tendency to point the finger at me about being a messy person or something so I don’t have a halo around my head in that argument. Well, he had a warrant out cause of missed tests, turned himself in, went in front of a judge in a orange jumpsuit and shackles trying to reason and tell the judge he didn’t have a phone to contact nor money to do the tests, offered to be on a more frequent color rather than the 2 weeks jail time. Judge told him “well, couldnt you have used a pay phone, or mail a letter to your probation officer” he pauses five seconds and goes “well, I guess” then the judge says ” There is no legitamate reason why you failed to contact your PO for over…4 months.. So I am going to give you the 15 days cause I don’t think you would learn otherwise.” His mom was crying, was it bad that I was smiling???? I was mad, and equally like ” yeah, thats what you get for being stubborn ‘have it your way’ ” Anyway, when he gets out, if you were me, would you welcome him with open arms and a present (his Bday is Vday) or be pissed off….what would you do?

  19. I did ask a similar question but it was only for the last 2-3 paragraphs and I think that people thought that it was the begining, well heres the whole thing at the moment. Lastly I know that to older people it may not apeal, but this is a story for teens etc, so that may be the reason why. I know my grammar isn’t perfect and I understand that.

    Preface

    My name is Chezney Wilson. I’m not some famous celebrity chased by the paparazzi that you see tend to always see nowadays. I’m not even some random wannabe that tags along with the largest crowds just to be noticed and appreciated. I don’t want to be any of those people. I just want to be a normal and regular guy, that tries to help others as much as he can. Who does his best to try and make the world just that little better. Well I thought that I was just a normal and regular guy, but as it turned out, there was more to me then even I knew.

    Chapter One

    A New Start

    Being a lonely child and having your parents split up is incredibly hard. First of all, your most likely going to be confused, hurt and scared as you have no idea for if it is your fathers fault, your mothers or maybe even yours. That’s immediately how I felt when my parents got divorced, and these were my exact feelings on the twenty sixth of may, two thousand and ten, five days before my eighteenth birthday, when I found myself sitting beside my Dad, Harry Wilson, in the front passenger seat of his shiny new black Porsche. My Dad is kind of rich; he had a big job in a hospital. Actually he was known as the best doctor in all Seattle which I think that this was the problem, that my Mom, didn’t think that my Dad spent enough time at home. However now that we had left Seattle; due to both his and my Mom’s, final decision. My Dad has been offered a new job as the chief doctor in Traverse City, Michigan. I don’t really pay any attention to the fact that my Dad earns a great deal of money each year, as cash isn’t really everything, its really all about what you want to do in life. That is why in the backseat, my bass guitar is safely lieing down on a few fully packed suitcases. Music is just one of the subjects that I fully enjoy, to me life without music is simply unbearable, I play guitar and sometimes only when I’m alone, I tend to sing a little. When school is involved, I’m not exactly the cleverest in my classes, I guess you can say that I’m an average B plus student. I put a lot of effort into my education as its important and a few good grades, can make nice decorations on the kitchen refrigerator.
    After a another slow two and a half hour drive, we soon started to arrive at the city’s entrance. Feeling extremely bored due to the lack of activity, I gazed into the small side view mirror and took a good look at my appearance, ready for when we finally got out of the car. As I swept my long and dark fringe away from my right eye, my hard, piercing and still a little upset, blue eye slowly blinked back in my direction. Apart from the clear signs of lack of sleep that had started to creep around the bottom of both of my eyes, they seemed to both looked perfectly fine.
    “That’s what you need, plenty of sleep,” remarked my Dad suddenly, still keeping his eyes on the busy road in front of us as we slowly came to a short bend. This remark sounded strange because apart from the quick, ‘Are you ready?’ he had asked before we had left, this was the first thing that he had said throughout the whole trip.
    “Maybe,” I muttered, not taking any notice of what he had just said. As I looked away from the side view mirror, I managed to catch a small glimpse of the city’s tall welcome sign, as it towered above us for just a quick a second. Feeling awkward, he slowly shuffled around in his seat and then took a quick sip of his strong smelling black coffee. Wanting to avoid this awkward moment, I looked out of my window and noticed that there were a lot of people and stores flashing by, then there had been around five minutes ago.
    As we gradually began to drive deeper into the city, it soon became to feel incredibly boring. For no apparent reason, I tightly closed my eyes and reopened them five minutes later, to find that we had just left the city and now started to pass the most beautiful looking beach that I had ever seen. As if the beach was somehow controlling me, I rolled down my window, allowing a gentle breeze to enter, so that I could see everything even more clearly. Everything about the beach looked amazing its golden sand as it glinted in the strong sun light and the clear deep blue water.
    “I knew that you would like this place,” Dad eagerly remarked, as he took a quick and hopeful look in my direction. Without answering, I knew inside that he was right, this place was extreme. “Kind of beautiful isn’t it?” he asked, as we stopped at a set of lights, to let a group of laughing teens, carrying surf boards, cross the road. Giving the beach one last look, I turned to look at Dad, as I

  20. I met a girl on a matchmaking service as I could use a diversion for my time while overseas as a deployed soldier in Iraq. She and I spoke for six months online before I was able to come home and finally meet her. We talked about everything- including past relationships. She mentioned how she had lived with an older guy for three years when she turned 18, but that she broke it off because she thought he had cheated on her, he didn’t treat her well, and he wasn’t willing to settle down and marry her. Once we met, she and I fell in love and everything was great for the first several months of our relationship- I even moved in with her after leaving the Army.

    She introduced me to many of her friends, one of them a guy who we will call Rick. Rick was very nice to me, always buying me drinks, and he even offered me a job if I wanted it as I had just left the service. My GF had started a restaurant, and Rick’s contracting company did the majority of the work on the building because she had asked him to do it. Rick even had an office upstairs in the building for his contracting company- right next to my GF’s. When my GFs restaurant opened its doors, my GF hired Rick’s sister to be his bookkeeper- and I was also introduced by my GF to Rick’s entire family when they came in for dinner (which was fairly often). Rick helped bartend for the opening night of the restaurant. My GF was best friends with Rick’s brother’s wife, and my GF would always run to Rick when there were problems with the restaurant. There were several times when I found them upstairs together- alone, talking about things with the door closed. I had my suspicions, so I asked my GF how she got to know Rick- and she said he was just a friend she had known through her best friend (the one who was married to Rick’s brother).

    It wasn’t until we had been actually dating for six months (but talking for over a year) that I discovered the truth about my GF and Rick, just by casual conversation when someone told me he had given her a cheap rate on the construction for the restaurant because they had dated in the past. As I’m sure you know by now, Rick was the guy my GF had lived with for three years. I confronted her about it, and her response was that yes, they had lived together and dated, but that things between them were over. I told her I didn’t want her to talk to him anymore- but it was an impossible request. His sister worked for her, he had a contract for the office upstairs (so he would almost be guaranteed to see her every day for the next two years) and her best friend was married to his brother, so it would be hard for her to see her best friend without occasionally seeing him as well.

    I started snooping around to satisfy my curiosity. Even though it had been a couple years since they dated, she still had BOXES of photos of them together on beaches in Mexico and Jamaica- a place she and I were planning to go. She had an “I Love You” video she made for him still on her computer. There were no photos of any other person she dated- just pictures of those two together. When I confronted her about this, she did throw the pictures away, but only after I told her about them.

    My GF reassured me that there was nothing going on, and I believed her. Rick told me the same thing when he found out I knew. I don’t think she wants to date him, but I think that for whatever reason she likes having him around. It has been five months since I learned of this, and I still can’t get over it- how inconsiderate she was to put me in this situation, how she deceived me by lying about it/not telling me about it

  21. my mom has attempted suicide again. I found Christ when I was expecting my son, I repented for my lifestyle and being unmarried. Five years later I started to date, sinned with two men I though each I was going to marry and had to repent so fully I know I will never do so again, by the grace of our the holy spirit, Jesus Christ and our holy God. My mom since she was young, she had a horrible, unmentionable childhood and was suicidal since younger, I thought she was doing better but has tried to drink and take pills about three to four times since I knew about her tries when I was 14. I feel bad I depended on her for a place to live and money with my son so I could raise him but I guess I thought because she had a lot of money it was okay and she was helping me financiallly so I could be there raise him to have love and follow Jesus and God. I have given her money, usually in a lump sum, but she was also generous. I tried to help her by being there for her also. I finallly moved out in the end of February again, this time to my own place, thanks to God. My son broke his arm and I had a problem with the first apartment but I did not ask her for money, but stayed with her a few days in between after she said she wanted us to. I also borrowed her car, to take my son to a bone doctor that was too far for my car, because she offered. I realize I should have said no. Anyway, she has other things going on, she can’t keep a job for some reason and she left one in December because her boss wasn’t nice or good and has been turned down a lot. She also has problems with most of our family members she says it is all our fault, because her three kids and family members never help her. I have tried to. I tell her I love her and Jesus and God loves her and she scoffs at me and tells me to go away. She is running out of money because she had about 15,000 since January but it is dwindling. So she said she was going to commit suicide and can’t take it (she says this a lot) but she had a will notarized last week and sent what was very like a suicde letter through email to my brother. That night I called 911 because she told me goodbye and tell my son to live a good life and she is sorry she wasn’t a good mother and we are all ungrateful and goodbye to everyone.

    I called 911 they took her to a hospital, and then a mental hospital for one day. She got out and told me and my brother to never contact her again. I thought she was mad, but hopefull she got past those dire feelings. She called her mom and cousin and said basically we made it up, she just sent that letter in case and she wouldn’t do anything to commit suicide. We were upset but relieved she was alive. Then she texted my uncle, goodbye the next day in a way where he was really worried so he called the police, they found her in the bathroom. She had slit her wrist. They said she had three minutes I am told, she was in ICU. Yesterday she was transferred to a regular room, I went to see her in ICU told her I loved her, Jesus and God lover her and we want her to feel better. She told me leave, get out, go away. I did. My 15 year old sister wanted to see her the next day. I went to support her and her dad, my stepfather before the divorce, and she asked to see my son after. I let her talk to him because she has done a lot for him, then she was really angry started yelling and being mean to me, so I left with him. She is angry with us, says it is the people around hers fault. They can’t tell us how she is now because she won’t let them by law, and is being rude. I am worried they will let her go, I don’t know what to do. I put it in the hands of God and pray for salvaiton in Jesus Christ to save her. I don’t know what else should be done

  22. I met a girl on a matchmaking service as I could use a diversion for my time while overseas as a deployed soldier in Iraq. She and I spoke for six months online before I was able to come home and finally meet her. We talked about everything- including past relationships. She mentioned how she had lived with an older guy for three years when she turned 18, but that she broke it off because she thought he had cheated on her, he didn’t treat her well, and he wasn’t willing to settle down and marry her. Once we met, she and I fell in love and everything was great for the first several months of our relationship- I even moved in with her after leaving the Army.

    She introduced me to many of her friends, one of them a guy who we will call Rick. Rick was very nice to me, always buying me drinks, and he even offered me a job if I wanted it as I had just left the service. My GF had started a restaurant, and Rick’s contracting company did the majority of the work on the building because she had asked him to do it. Rick even had an office upstairs in the building for his contracting company- right next to my GF’s. When my GFs restaurant opened its doors, my GF hired Rick’s sister to be his bookkeeper- and I was also introduced by my GF to Rick’s entire family when they came in for dinner (which was fairly often). Rick helped bartend for the opening night of the restaurant. My GF was best friends with Rick’s brother’s wife, and my GF would always run to Rick when there were problems with the restaurant. There were several times when I found them upstairs together- alone, talking about things with the door closed. I had my suspicions, so I asked my GF how she got to know Rick- and she said he was just a friend she had known through her best friend (the one who was married to Rick’s brother).

    It wasn’t until we had been actually dating for six months (but talking for over a year) that I discovered the truth about my GF and Rick, just by casual conversation when someone told me he had given her a cheap rate on the construction for the restaurant because they had dated in the past. As I’m sure you know by now, Rick was the guy my GF had lived with for three years. I confronted her about it, and her response was that yes, they had lived together and dated, but that things between them were over. I told her I didn’t want her to talk to him anymore- but it was an impossible request. His sister worked for her, he had a contract for the office upstairs (so he would almost be guaranteed to see her every day for the next two years) and her best friend was married to his brother, so it would be hard for her to see her best friend without occasionally seeing him as well.

    I started snooping around to satisfy my curiosity. Even though it had been a couple years since they dated, she still had BOXES of photos of them together on beaches in Mexico and Jamaica- a place she and I were planning to go. She had an “I Love You” video she made for him still on her computer. There were no photos of any other person she dated- just pictures of those two together. When I confronted her about this, she did throw the pictures away, but only after I told her about them.

    My GF reassured me that there was nothing going on, and I believed her. Rick told me the same thing when he found out I knew. I don’t think she wants to date him, but I think that for whatever reason she likes having him around. It has been five months since I learned of this, and I still can’t get over it- how inconsiderate she was to put me in this situation, how she deceived me by lying about it/not telling me about it

  23. I know this is long but if you’re a reg, TC or professional, please consider reading this even if you don’t want to respond. I honestly don’t know what to do with myself. Many regs here know that I state that I am a qualified mental health practitioner. That is true – I would never lie about a qualification I do not have or pretend to be somebody I am not.

    I do not currently work in mental health because of a traumatic even 12 months ago. I was set-up by an angry ex-partner when I found out he was having an affair and threatened to tell his ‘other woman’.

    In order to stop me, he got me sectioned. Very easy for him to do as he was a police sergeant. It took one call and I was dragged off for no reason. He told them I was about to commit suicide. I was not. He just wanted me out of the way to buy himself time to protect himself.

    I was treated ok by the police, but horrendously by hospital staff including members of the crisis team and ward staff. My level of distress grew tenfold every day because they kept tricking me over and over, saying I only needed to stay one night then I could go, Three days later they were still holding me. I was crying and begging to be freed but they told me I could not go. The section had been lifted before I even got to hospital for assessment (yes, really!). They had no holding powers on me and they kept telling me I was there voluntarily. I was not. To this day in my notes it says I was there on a voluntary basis yet I tried everything to try to get out.

    They had told me I was not able to see a psychiatrist for another 12 days as they only visited the ward every 2 weeks. Being a mental health practitioner, I knew this was rubbish and knew my legal rights and so I called a solicitor. She visited the ward twice and told the staff they were holding me illegally. She told them they must either let me go or section me. On both occasions, the staff told her they would call a psychiatrist and get them to assess me that same day with a view to allowing me to go home, The solicitor would leave the ward, and the staff would NOT call a psychiatrist to come and talk to me, In fact they did nothing but lie and abuse me. I did not eat one single thing for five days and had less than two tiny cups of water each day. In fact it was only after I left that I realised that at no point did they offer me food. I was exhausted, weak, angry and actually began to feel genuinely suicidal over the captivity and deceit. I looked for ways to end my life and found none. I could not believe what was happening to me – as if finding out the man I’d been with for two years had been cheating the whole time, not ON me with WITH ME. I was his ‘other woman’ but neither his partner nor myself had any inkling. He lived a double life that whole time and now I was having to face this trauma which went against EVERYTHING I’d been taught at university and every instict I had.

    After several days, I actually escaped from the psychiatric ward. I cannot tell you how because I do not want to give vulnerable people who NEED to be in hospital ideas on how to get out, but escape I did, and I jumped on the first bus I saw and fled to a train station and got many miles away. I hid there for two weeks, staying each night in a different hotel, paying for everything with cash so I could not be traced via bank statements.

    On three occasions I was returning to the hotels for the night after a day quite literally on the run and found police cars parked outside. I ran and hid until they left, convinced they had tracked me down and were waiting to transport me back to Hell behind locked doors.

    Eventually I returned home. The police turned up several minutes after I returned. It was a dumb cop probably too delirious from doughnut munching to care about his job. He found me eventually, hiding in my wardrobe. He didn’t even know the circumstances or that I was supposed to be in hospital. In fact he knew nothing except one of the neighbours had called the police after seeing me return. The police had apparently asked the neighbours to call 999 if any of them saw me, and one of them had. He didn’t know why he’d been sent. Somehow I managed to blag my way out of it and he left, clueless.

    Since then, I have had the biggest hatred for mental health services like you wouldn’t believe. My anger boils constantly because they have taken away my career – I can no longer work with other MH professionals because I trust NONE. My answers here on Yahoo Answers are my only way of exercising what I have learnt and my urge to help and advise others is as strong as it ever was.

    I feel traumatised by my experience. I will never and can never work with mental health services again, either as a patient or professional. My instinct to keep every tiny aspect of my life incredibly private is so strong that I barely talk to anybody now.

    What do I do? Please don’t suggest counse
    Sorry – counselling or anything to do with mental health. I am scared, angry and lost.
    DD, I’ll try to answer with not many characters!

    In the UK a psychiatrist MUST assess patient before discharge even if they are there voluntarily. Nobody can just walk out at any time. Legally if a vol. patient asks to leave, they need to call a psych during the day and ask them to come and eval with a view to discharge. Staff said they would call one, but then refused to do so. The solicitor would have been breaking the law trying to get me out without an eval.

    The unit was locked & staff on the door 24/7. I could not just walk out. Bars on windows, that kind of thing.

    I would have refused food regardless. I had not taken anything prior to admission & they do blood tests to check this. No meds/drugs/alcohol in system. ‘Inmates’ flocked to kitchen area at mealtimes but I was never called for a meal or told I had to eat. Nobody offered to bring toast to my room, for example. I refused to eat/sit with patients as I would be seen to be complying with their abuse & I was not a patient a
    I was not a patient and did not want a reputation of being amongst the others patients (I would not socialise in case of of them knew me!)

    Cannot go back and ‘get records’. Here you have to apply to see medical records and they only give you the very basic stuff that they don’t mind you reading. No way would info in there from that lock up be released to me.

    After I left I was hiding because I had escaped from a locked psychiatric ward. The police kept calling my mobile and leaving messages asking me to go back or meet them anywhere I wanted. I was on ‘red alert’ – what the cops call ‘high risk missing’ partly due to the state I was in when I left and partly due to absconding. It means police were out looking for me and could 136 me in the street and take me back if they found me (sectioning in a public place). I was not scared by the cop/ex. I knew he wouldn’t hurt me – we are not talking domestic violence. It’s abuse of power but he never ever physically hurt me in any way.
    DD, I’ll try to answer with not many characters!

    In the UK a psychiatrist MUST assess patient before discharge even if they are there voluntarily. Nobody can just walk out at any time. Legally if a vol. patient asks to leave, they need to call a psych during the day and ask them to come and eval with a view to discharge. Staff said they would call one, but then refused to do so. The solicitor would have been breaking the law trying to get me out without an eval.

    The unit was locked & staff on the door 24/7. I could not just walk out. Bars on windows, that kind of thing.

    I would have refused food regardless. I had not taken anything prior to admission & they do blood tests to check this. No meds/drugs/alcohol in system. ‘Inmates’ flocked to kitchen area at mealtimes but I was never called for a meal or told I had to eat. Nobody offered to bring toast to my room, for example. I refused to eat/sit with patients as I would be seen to be complying with their abuse & I was not a patient a

  24. My parents amaze me so much. They are like the typical asian parents who expect you to do better than everyone else and I read an article on why this is the reason why so many asians are successful. But what amazes me is that at the same time as expecting and nagging me to do well, they seem to be the root of me messing up. Actually its my choice to mess up to keep them happy by doing what they want. And in return I have to listen to how worthless I am and all my thoughts are wrong.

    I did exceptionally well in my GCSES, but they never really had involvement there (If i say, I was quite academically talented). Then I messed up my A levels, I messed up uni spending five years there and ending up with a diploma (and may I add that my father was only too happy that I stayed home and studied at the local uni regardless of what course I did). I decided to go away to travel to india and spend some time with family expecting to spend at least 3-4 weeks traveling too, but some how I managed to spend the whole 5 months with my extended family (which I enjoyed, but it would have been nice to have had gone traveling seeing as I had the time and it wasn’t like I didn’t plan to spend time with the family). And this was also down to my folks having involvement in what I do even though I was thousands of miles away! So I came back and applied for jobs and being under qualified, I couldn’t find anywhere close by. So I widened my search and managed to get an offer 50 miles away. It is an awesome opportunity they would train me and being a huge multi national company with huge contracts I had scope to progress. Now I was also expecting to return on weekends, but on low salary I can’t afford a car and traveling back home on weekends on local transport, especially on Sundays is too much of a hassle taking up to 3 hrs and so many changes. When the q came up I said I would come back now and then and of course they would be phoning to annoy me everyday anyway like they did when I went traveling (they totally ruined my day when they did this and I was supposed to be enjoying it) but they didn’t want to know and when I said ok i’ll tell them i’m turning down the offer they continued to have an argument with me and the best bit is they will have no regrets or feel bad for me for missing an opportunity thats potentially my big break and better in the long run.

    I guess this last thing about work sums up my boring worthless life. An opportunity comes my way and I have to turn it down to make my folks happy. and the thing is i’m not scared of loosing them, its other people in the family I care about which is why I choose to mess up my life otherwise I would have been long gone or even accepted this work offer without discussing it with my folks. And the only option is to now put myself into the family business but this is where it all gets typical again. because i’m younger than my elders ‘I know nothing’ and so while they’re around I just listen to them and do as i’m told. I even said to my dad I would be so into getting into business but what scope have i got if I can’t have any valid say or responsibility in the business (which by the way he knows the ideas I discuss in general about the business are always right. eg I told him to diversify and bring in certain products and he didn’t listen to me but years later he listens to outsiders and in a way is forced to due to economic and commodity pressures and its working).

    anyway i had my moan thanks for reading. i’ve decided now to put up with the crap at home, take a crappy call centre job, have no prospects, ambition or drive and learn the family business and wait for my uncle to retire so that i can be made a silent partner officially but loyal dog in terms of working.

    best wishes to all u other ppl i will wish that i am the only one to go through this as this situation really messes the head up, without drugs or alcohol abuse!

  25. I met a girl on a matchmaking service as I could use a diversion for my time while overseas as a deployed soldier in Iraq. She and I spoke for six months online before I was able to come home and finally meet her. We talked about everything- including past relationships. She mentioned how she had lived with an older guy for three years when she turned 18, but that she broke it off because she thought he had cheated on her, he didn’t treat her well, and he wasn’t willing to settle down and marry her. Once we met, she and I fell in love and everything was great for the first several months of our relationship- I even moved in with her after leaving the Army.

    She introduced me to many of her friends, one of them a guy who we will call Rick. Rick was very nice to me, always buying me drinks, and he even offered me a job if I wanted it as I had just left the service. My GF had started a restaurant, and Rick’s contracting company did the majority of the work on the building because she had asked him to do it. Rick even had an office upstairs in the building for his contracting company- right next to my GF’s. When my GFs restaurant opened its doors, my GF hired Rick’s sister to be his bookkeeper- and I was also introduced by my GF to Rick’s entire family when they came in for dinner (which was fairly often). Rick helped bartend for the opening night of the restaurant. My GF was best friends with Rick’s brother’s wife, and my GF would always run to Rick when there were problems with the restaurant. There were several times when I found them upstairs together- alone, talking about things with the door closed. I had my suspicions, so I asked my GF how she got to know Rick- and she said he was just a friend she had known through her best friend (the one who was married to Rick’s brother).

    It wasn’t until we had been actually dating for six months (but talking for over a year) that I discovered the truth about my GF and Rick, just by casual conversation when someone told me he had given her a cheap rate on the construction for the restaurant because they had dated in the past. As I’m sure you know by now, Rick was the guy my GF had lived with for three years. I confronted her about it, and her response was that yes, they had lived together and dated, but that things between them were over. I told her I didn’t want her to talk to him anymore- but it was an impossible request. His sister worked for her, he had a contract for the office upstairs (so he would almost be guaranteed to see her every day for the next two years) and her best friend was married to his brother, so it would be hard for her to see her best friend without occasionally seeing him as well.

    I started snooping around to satisfy my curiosity. Even though it had been a couple years since they dated, she still had BOXES of photos of them together on beaches in Mexico and Jamaica- a place she and I were planning to go. She had an “I Love You” video she made for him still on her computer. There were no photos of any other person she dated- just pictures of those two together. When I confronted her about this, she did throw the pictures away, but only after I told her about them.

    My GF reassured me that there was nothing going on, and I believed her. Rick told me the same thing when he found out I knew. I don’t think she wants to date him, but I think that for whatever reason she likes having him around. It has been five months since I learned of this, and I still can’t get over it- how inconsiderate she was to put me in this situation, how she deceived me by lying about it/not telling me about it (which I think is a HUGE deal), and how I never would have moved in with her if I had known the truth beforehand.

    Am I crazy to think that most people would want to leave their past behind instead of seeing it walk through the door everyday?

    I care about this girl, but this has been tearing me apart for five months and I don’t know how to get over it. I feel like if I had known about it sooner, I could’ve gotten over it- but the fact that she lied about it for so many months makes me not trust her. And here’s the kicker- before all this came out, she told me when she was younger she had an abortion- from someone else. She could tell me that (which I think is a MUCH bigger secret) but she didn’t want to tell me about Rick- doesn’t that sound fishy? I find myself looking for excuses to make her feel bad about dating him and lying about it- which I know is never a good sign.

    Any advice is welcome.

    Thanks.
    Now that I know this guy- and I’ve learned even more about his scumbaggery since first meeting him- it makes me wonder what kind of taste my GF had in men before meeting me…. It makes me feel like I could do better…especially since now I wonder what else she’s hiding from me (because I don’t feel like I can really trust her).

  26. i am nearly blinde, not completely but nearly. i just went to my gonna be high school to take the placement testing with all the other eighth graders. sinc e i am nearly blinde, my braille teacher signed me up to get a large print test booklit, no big deal right? well they all turned it into something bigger than it was, very insulting. so i had to go and tell some lady that i needed a large print test booklit, so i said “i’ve been signed up to use a large print test booklit”
    the lady goes. “you mean you need special accomidations.”
    “no, just a large print test booklit.”
    “no that would be considered special accomidations, come with me” she made me stand off to the side, with all the kids in special ed, and yes, i am in special ed, but TO READ BRAILLE not becuase i can’t comprehend the stuff they through at me, i am in all the gifted classes, and i’m planning on being advanced placement, in everything in high school.
    so i am standing their with all the support kids, and i ask “am i going to be in the room i was assigned too?” because that was really important to me, not to be seperated from my friend, who i was getting a ride home with, (we have the same last initial, so we were in the same room)
    and she said “we’ll see”
    she looked for my name on her list, and couldn’t find it, i told her “thats because i am not supposed to be here, i am supposed to be in s229.”
    she goes in a high pitched talking slow, almost parent ease voice “don’t worry, we’ll get you tested, just sit down iin here.”
    “but i am not supposed to be in here.”
    “yeah, i know, we’ll figure it out” same voice.
    then they would not let me fill out the forms myself, there was one wehre we were supposed to mark in all our grades this year in our classes, i told the lady that i get a’s in everything. and she was all “good job, you must be smart” then they asked if we were in excelerated classes, she almost filled in no, before i told her that i was in excelerated classes. they locked me in a room, with the lady, to mark the answers for me. that is what they do for the all blind kids, i told them over and over again, that i don’t need that, i can see. really i can. but nope, it was really offending, how they forced me to do this stuff. so i answer the first test, and the lady, makes me give her a high five, and she tells me “good job,” in the high pitched parent ease voice, and i give her a weak, please don’t talk to me in that tone, voice. this happened three more times with the three tests, and by this time, i was feeling very offended that they assumed that i was not smart enough to be in excelerated, and that i was in the room for other reasons, by the time i was in sixth grade, i was making accomadations for myself by myself, that they trained me to do in grade school, so all of this was really offending.
    then i finished, the science portion, and she said, “congradulations, your done, you can go home now.” i look at her like she’s the one who’s being treated meantly ill, and say, “no, i am staying for the writing portion” which is what you have to stay for to get into AP writing, which of coarse is very important to me, they just assumed i wasn’t going to take it, they didn’t even offer it to me. which is offending, but then the other lady, that made come in there at all, said to me, “you know, you don’t have to take it.” in the parent ease voice
    i say, “i know, but i want to be in A P English.” and she rolls her eyes at me and says, “if you want too.” in a ‘waisting your time’ kind of way.
    so i take this test and get out of their, and she asks me if i wanted to use the schools phone to call my mom, now i know, from talking to the special ed kids, (lots of them are friends of mine, out of coincidence) and they have hard families, lots of them don’t even have mothers, and i think she shouldn’t have said that, i nearly said, “no, i can’t call her, she’s dead.” but i didn’t because i don’t have the guts, so i walked out of there, feeling really angry that people would treat me like that, slump me with the support kids. my dad said i should have protested against taking the test, he said that might even cause me to get a lower test grade, my mom thinks that she will call some poeple and figure out who did it, so that she can get them in trouble for discrimination, lots of people do things like that to me, and usually, i can just move right past it, but this time,. its really burning. what do you think i should do? nothing rude please.
    i don’t have a 504, but i do have an iep, and they just call it special ed just the same, becuase my braille teacher works for a company run by special ed, and that doesn’t really help me with discrimination, or high school placement testing.
    I have all the things that you list, and i do know about my terrible spelling, S just one of those regular problems i have to work on, and it doesn’t help that i type faster than i should (about 80 wpm ranther than 50 wpm) and i have a really old keyboard, about as old as me, but thanks for reminding me, and being considerate, but in future, i read bad spelling better than anyone, because, i use it.

  27. I know this is long but if you’re a reg, TC or professional, please consider reading this even if you don’t want to respond. I honestly don’t know what to do with myself. Many regs here know that I state that I am a qualified mental health practitioner. That is true – I would never lie about a qualification I do not have or pretend to be somebody I am not.

    I do not currently work in mental health because of a traumatic even 12 months ago. I was set-up by an angry ex-partner when I found out he was having an affair and threatened to tell his ‘other woman’.

    In order to stop me, he got me sectioned. Very easy for him to do as he was a police sergeant. It took one call and I was dragged off for no reason. He told them I was about to commit suicide. I was not. He just wanted me out of the way to buy himself time to protect himself.

    I was treated ok by the police, but horrendously by hospital staff including members of the crisis team and ward staff. My level of distress grew tenfold every day because they kept tricking me over and over, saying I only needed to stay one night then I could go, Three days later they were still holding me. I was crying and begging to be freed but they told me I could not go. The section had been lifted before I even got to hospital for assessment (yes, really!). They had no holding powers on me and they kept telling me I was there voluntarily. I was not. To this day in my notes it says I was there on a voluntary basis yet I tried everything to try to get out.

    They had told me I was not able to see a psychiatrist for another 12 days as they only visited the ward every 2 weeks. Being a mental health practitioner, I knew this was a lie and knew my legal rights and so I called a solicitor who visited the ward twice & told the staff they were holding me illegally. She told them they must either let me go or section me. On both occasions, the staff told her they would call a psychiatrist & get them to assess me that same day with a view to allowing me to go home, The solicitor would leave the ward, & the staff would NOT call a psychiatrist to come and talk to me, In fact they did nothing but lie and abuse me. I did not eat one single thing for five days and had less than two tiny cups of water each day. In fact it was only after I left that I realised that at no point did they offer me food. I was exhausted, weak, angry & actually began to feel genuinely suicidal over the captivity and deceit. I looked for ways to end my life and found none. I could not believe what was happening to me – as if finding out the man I’d been with for two years had been cheating the whole time, not ON me with WITH ME. I was his ‘other woman’ but neither his partner nor myself had any inkling. He lived a double life that whole time & now I was having to face this trauma which went against EVERYTHING I believed in.

    After several days, I actually escaped from the psychiatric ward. I can’t tell you how because I do not want to give vulnerable people who NEED to be in hospital ideas on how to get out, but escape I did. I jumped on the first bus I saw & fled to a train station and got many miles away. I hid there for two weeks, staying each night in a different hotel, paying for everything with cash so I could not be traced via bank statements.

    On three occasions I was returning to the hotels for the night after a day quite literally on the run and found police cars parked outside. I ran and hid until they left, convinced they had tracked me down and were waiting to transport me back to Hell behind locked doors.

    Eventually I returned home. The police turned up several minutes after I returned. It was a dumb cop probably too delirious from doughnut munching to care about his job. He found me eventually, hiding in my wardrobe. He didn’t even know the circumstances or that I was supposed to be in hospital. In fact he knew nothing except one of the neighbours had called the police after seeing me return. The police had apparently asked the neighbours to call 999 if any of them saw me, and one of them had. He didn’t know why he’d been sent. Somehow I managed to blag my way out of it and he left, clueless.

    Since then, I have had the biggest hatred for mental health services like you wouldn’t believe. My anger boils constantly because they have taken away my career – I can no longer work with other MH professionals because I trust NONE. My answers here on Yahoo Answers are my only way of exercising what I have learnt and my urge to help and advise others is as strong as it ever was.

    I feel traumatised by my experience. I will never and can never work with mental health services again, either as a patient or professional. My instinct to keep every tiny aspect of my life incredibly private is so strong that I barely talk to anybody now.

    What do I do? Please don’t suggest counselling – ANYTHING to do with MH. I am scared, angry and lost.

  28. Hi I’m a 31 year old stay at home Mom with my adorable 13 month old daughter. I’ve been with my husband 5 years and I want to make our marriage work.We really need counseling to fix this and for us to both be happy and have both our needs met. I’m having a hard time getting my point thru to him. He just thinks he’s right and I’m wrong. He doesn’t believe a relationship needs constant work and it needs to be treated with the utmost care or it falls apart. He just thinks it is what it is and we don’t need professional help. I love him dearly but I’m having a hard time seeing us for many more years together unless theres a change. It’s actually pretty little work on his part. So this is my last resort, I’m going to quickly write down the basic problems and I’m so confused at this point, I’m asking for validation for my feelings. If any of u were in my shoes would u feel the same way? And feel free to tell me I’m wrong, whatever needs done to save our family I’ll do it but to live with quiet anger and resentment is not healthy.

    There’s three main issues. One is He works 60 to 70 hours a week and plays hockey 3 to 4 times a week. So I don’t really see him that much and when I do he’s worn out and tired or hungry or just want’s to relax. I said once maybe you could not go to hockey tonight and he took that as me taking him away from his passion.Thats so far from the truth, I would never want or ask him to quit. Thats a major problem with us in general. he constantly misunderstands me and it turns into a fight really fast.and part of me thinks if he knew me at all he wouldn’t misunderstand me so much. How can me wanting him to spend time with me turn into what I don’t even know because we have never ever talked thru and resolved a conflict. When we fight I feel like my big strong man turns into a child! Theres insults and back and forth and then he gets really vicious with his words and goes too far and hurts me. I end up with a stabbing pain in my heart that his little sentence that ended the fight will eventually end our marriage. i walk away, we stop fighting, it’s never cleared up or resolved because I guess we don’t know how. ( Hence why we need counseling) But if I were to go tell him that right now THAT would turn into a fight of why am I trying to ruin his day. The way he misunderstands me hurts as much as his deep comments. Because theres no reason for it, I’m so good to him. I’m always considerate of him, always do you want something dear you need something dear?What can I do for you? I would love if he returned a quarter of how I treat him. I def shown him by example.

    He’s a great provider and very generous with me, because he does make all the money and he works hard for us. I do appeciate that sooo much of course I do. That allows me to raise our child.

    The Hockey I think shouldn’t be more than 2 days a week.What marriage is healthy when the husband works 5 days until evening then plays up to four days. Any more than 2 days is just neglect. Neglect to our home and us and our child. but again he doesn’t see it that way.

    I don’t understand. When I used to work I couldn’t wait to get home to see him, I wouldn’t actually make plans with a friend until I found out what he was doing first. But he’s the opposite he makes plans for himself and sometimes us then tells me about it. It infurriates me that he doesn’t check with me. He doesn’t know the reason why he has to tell me.

    I do all the cooking and cleaning and housework and In five years he’s never done a load of launry or picked his clothes up or cleaned a dish or watched our daughter for more than an hour. And Ok there’s the argument that that’s my job and he does his job but I said to him my job is 24/7. I never get a break. Can u offer to watch our daughter for a couple hours Once? Or offer to change her or bathe her or play with her. He loves her so much I know he does really so why do I have to force him to do these things. And when he does do them because I’ve made him he acts helpless and he can’t handle it and saying oh she wants her Mommy she needs you, oh my back hurts take her. And he want’s more kids! If the father works really hard doesn’t he still owe a minimum amount of just bonding with his kid? I feel like our relationship has morphed into a 50’s the woman does this and the Man does this. I feel like a single Mom most days. We need help, what can I do? what can I say to get him to understand?

  29. Alright so i met my bf cameron in september and as cheesy as it sounds, i fell in love with him instantly. I’ve had a lot of short relationships and we lasted 7 months. the first 5 were heaven/perfect/amazing…you name it. we were perfect and i’ve never been so happy. he told me he loved me, and i told him i loved him too. i’ve said it to one person before but later realized that i was very naive at that time, so i dont really count it any more. i meant it with cameron though. i felt completely content and for the first time in my life, didnt even LOOK at other guys! that’s never happened before with me.

    but like i said, it was perfect for the first five months. we’ve been together 7. we started having problems when he started not being able to make time for me. he also got a new job on top of it, although it started before he was hired. i was pretty understanding and didnt even say anything for a while. he has school and work and those need to be a priority. but it wasnt just that he didnt have a lot of time any more…he started breaking promises and just being a downright douche. i ended up telling him i wanted to break up, and we talked it out to the point where i agreed to a break until summer when maybe we could try things again.

    so we go on a break, but meanwhile my car was broken. cameron is kind of a mechanic so he had told me he would fix it since i dont have a lot of money. but now that we were broken up, it would have been too weird. this guy colton i know a little offered to fix it for free and i wasnt about to turn him down. we hadnt really hung out before but while we were hanging out, fixing my car and stuff, we actually got to be really good friends. he told me he had feelings for me, but i explained that i still loved cameron and although i was technically single, i wasnt interested in dating anybody.

    now me and cameron are back together and working things out. he has changed quite a bit and i SHOULD be completely happy. but for some reason i’m not. i dont know what happened, but i’m almost indifferent now when it comes to cameron. i dont feel anything at all when i kiss him and i feel nothing when we say i love you to each other. at first i though it was because of colton, that maybe i DO have feelings for him. but the more i thought about it, i could tell that wasnt it. i just feel like being single or something, but that doesnt seem like enough of a reason. i was HEAD OVER FRIGGIN HEELS for cameron. and when we broke up all i could think about was being with him again. but now that we are back together i just feel bored and emotionless. there’s no spark any more and i dont know why. i was also really attracted to him physically before and now that’s gone too. his sense of humor cracked me up before and now he just irritates me. i cant even figure out what i saw in him before! what the heck happened?! i’ve cared way less about guys before and not been able to let go and move on. now with cameron who i genuinely loved and wanted to be with, those feelings that were so strong just disappeared. how though? i just dont understand what happened! i feel guilty still leading him on thinking things are fine, and i want to break up again honestly. i know he’ll just think it’s for colton though and it’s not. why is this happening and what do i do?! please help me :/

  30. my mom has attempted suicide again. I found Christ when I was expecting my son, I repented for my lifestyle and being unmarried. Five years later I started to date, sinned with two men I though each I was going to marry and had to repent so fully I know I will never do so again, by the grace of our the holy spirit, Jesus Christ and our holy God. My mom since she was young, she had a horrible, unmentionable childhood and was suicidal since younger, I thought she was doing better but has tried to drink and take pills about three to four times since I knew about her tries when I was 14. I feel bad I depended on her for a place to live and money with my son so I could raise him but I guess I thought because she had a lot of money it was okay and she was helping me financiallly so I could be there raise him to have love and follow Jesus and God. I have given her money, usually in a lump sum, but she was also generous. I tried to help her by being there for her also. I finallly moved out in the end of February again, this time to my own place, thanks to God. My son broke his arm and I had a problem with the first apartment but I did not ask her for money, but stayed with her a few days in between after she said she wanted us to. I also borrowed her car, to take my son to a bone doctor that was too far for my car, because she offered. I realize I should have said no. Anyway, she has other things going on, she can’t keep a job for some reason and she left one in December because her boss wasn’t nice or good and has been turned down a lot. She also has problems with most of our family members she says it is all our fault, because her three kids and family members never help her. I have tried to. I tell her I love her and Jesus and God loves her and she scoffs at me and tells me to go away. She is running out of money because she had about 15,000 since January but it is dwindling. So she said she was going to commit suicide and can’t take it (she says this a lot) but she had a will notarized last week and sent what was very like a suicde letter through email to my brother. That night I called 911 because she told me goodbye and tell my son to live a good life and she is sorry she wasn’t a good mother and we are all ungrateful and goodbye to everyone.

    I called 911 they took her to a hospital, and then a mental hospital for one day. She got out and told me and my brother to never contact her again. I thought she was mad, but hopefull she got past those dire feelings. She called her mom and cousin and said basically we made it up, she just sent that letter in case and she wouldn’t do anything to commit suicide. We were upset but relieved she was alive. Then she texted my uncle, goodbye the next day in a way where he was really worried so he called the police, they found her in the bathroom. She had slit her wrist. They said she had three minutes I am told, she was in ICU. Yesterday she was transferred to a regular room, I went to see her in ICU told her I loved her, Jesus and God lover her and we want her to feel better. She told me leave, get out, go away. I did. My 15 year old sister wanted to see her the next day. I went to support her and her dad, my stepfather before the divorce, and she asked to see my son after. I let her talk to him because she has done a lot for him, then she was really angry started yelling and being mean to me, so I left with him. She is angry with us, says it is the people around hers fault. They can’t tell us how she is now because she won’t let them by law, and is being rude. I am worried they will let her go, I don’t know what to do. I put it in the hands of God and pray for salvaiton in Jesus Christ to save her. I don’t know what else should be done

  31. I did ask a similar question but it was only for the last 2-3 paragraphs and I think that people thought that it was the begining, well heres the whole thing at the moment. Lastly I know that to older people it may not apeal, but this is a story for teens etc, so that may be the reason why. I know my grammar isn’t perfect and I understand that.

    Preface

    My name is Chezney Wilson. I’m not some famous celebrity chased by the paparazzi that you see tend to always see nowadays. I’m not even some random wannabe that tags along with the largest crowds just to be noticed and appreciated. I don’t want to be any of those people. I just want to be a normal and regular guy, that tries to help others as much as he can. Who does his best to try and make the world just that little better. Well I thought that I was just a normal and regular guy, but as it turned out, there was more to me then even I knew.

    Chapter One

    A New Start

    Being a lonely child and having your parents split up is incredibly hard. First of all, your most likely going to be confused, hurt and scared as you have no idea for if it is your fathers fault, your mothers or maybe even yours. That’s immediately how I felt when my parents got divorced, and these were my exact feelings on the twenty sixth of may, two thousand and ten, five days before my eighteenth birthday, when I found myself sitting beside my Dad, Harry Wilson, in the front passenger seat of his shiny new black Porsche. My Dad is kind of rich; he had a big job in a hospital. Actually he was known as the best doctor in all Seattle which I think that this was the problem, that my Mom, didn’t think that my Dad spent enough time at home. However now that we had left Seattle; due to both his and my Mom’s, final decision. My Dad has been offered a new job as the chief doctor in Traverse City, Michigan. I don’t really pay any attention to the fact that my Dad earns a great deal of money each year, as cash isn’t really everything, its really all about what you want to do in life. That is why in the backseat, my bass guitar is safely lieing down on a few fully packed suitcases. Music is just one of the subjects that I fully enjoy, to me life without music is simply unbearable, I play guitar and sometimes only when I’m alone, I tend to sing a little. When school is involved, I’m not exactly the cleverest in my classes, I guess you can say that I’m an average B plus student. I put a lot of effort into my education as its important and a few good grades, can make nice decorations on the kitchen refrigerator.
    After a another slow two and a half hour drive, we soon started to arrive at the city’s entrance. Feeling extremely bored due to the lack of activity, I gazed into the small side view mirror and took a good look at my appearance, ready for when we finally got out of the car. As I swept my long and dark fringe away from my right eye, my hard, piercing and still a little upset, blue eye slowly blinked back in my direction. Apart from the clear signs of lack of sleep that had started to creep around the bottom of both of my eyes, they seemed to both looked perfectly fine.
    “That’s what you need, plenty of sleep,” remarked my Dad suddenly, still keeping his eyes on the busy road in front of us as we slowly came to a short bend. This remark sounded strange because apart from the quick, ‘Are you ready?’ he had asked before we had left, this was the first thing that he had said throughout the whole trip.
    “Maybe,” I muttered, not taking any notice of what he had just said. As I looked away from the side view mirror, I managed to catch a small glimpse of the city’s tall welcome sign, as it towered above us for just a quick a second. Feeling awkward, he slowly shuffled around in his seat and then took a quick sip of his strong smelling black coffee. Wanting to avoid this awkward moment, I looked out of my window and noticed that there were a lot of people and stores flashing by, then there had been around five minutes ago.
    As we gradually began to drive deeper into the city, it soon became to feel incredibly boring. For no apparent reason, I tightly closed my eyes and reopened them five minutes later, to find that we had just left the city and now started to pass the most beautiful looking beach that I had ever seen. As if the beach was somehow controlling me, I rolled down my window, allowing a gentle breeze to enter, so that I could see everything even more clearly. Everything about the beach looked amazing its golden sand as it glinted in the strong sun light and the clear deep blue water.
    “I knew that you would like this place,” Dad eagerly remarked, as he took a quick and hopeful look in my direction. Without answering, I knew inside that he was right, this place was extreme. “Kind of beautiful isn’t it?” he asked, as we stopped at a set of lights, to let a group of laughing teens, carrying surf boards, cross the road. Giving the beach one last look, I turned to look at Dad, as I

  32. I met a girl on a matchmaking service as I could use a diversion for my time while overseas as a deployed soldier in Iraq. She and I spoke for six months online before I was able to come home and finally meet her. We talked about everything- including past relationships. She mentioned how she had lived with an older guy for three years when she turned 18, but that she broke it off because she thought he had cheated on her, he didn’t treat her well, and he wasn’t willing to settle down and marry her. Once we met, she and I fell in love and everything was great for the first several months of our relationship- I even moved in with her after leaving the Army.

    She introduced me to many of her friends, one of them a guy who we will call Rick. Rick was very nice to me, always buying me drinks, and he even offered me a job if I wanted it as I had just left the service. My GF had started a restaurant, and Rick’s contracting company did the majority of the work on the building because she had asked him to do it. Rick even had an office upstairs in the building for his contracting company- right next to my GF’s. When my GFs restaurant opened its doors, my GF hired Rick’s sister to be his bookkeeper- and I was also introduced by my GF to Rick’s entire family when they came in for dinner (which was fairly often). Rick helped bartend for the opening night of the restaurant. My GF was best friends with Rick’s brother’s wife, and my GF would always run to Rick when there were problems with the restaurant. There were several times when I found them upstairs together- alone, talking about things with the door closed. I had my suspicions, so I asked my GF how she got to know Rick- and she said he was just a friend she had known through her best friend (the one who was married to Rick’s brother).

    It wasn’t until we had been actually dating for six months (but talking for over a year) that I discovered the truth about my GF and Rick, just by casual conversation when someone told me he had given her a cheap rate on the construction for the restaurant because they had dated in the past. As I’m sure you know by now, Rick was the guy my GF had lived with for three years. I confronted her about it, and her response was that yes, they had lived together and dated, but that things between them were over. I told her I didn’t want her to talk to him anymore- but it was an impossible request. His sister worked for her, he had a contract for the office upstairs (so he would almost be guaranteed to see her every day for the next two years) and her best friend was married to his brother, so it would be hard for her to see her best friend without occasionally seeing him as well.

    I started snooping around to satisfy my curiosity. Even though it had been a couple years since they dated, she still had BOXES of photos of them together on beaches in Mexico and Jamaica- a place she and I were planning to go. She had an “I Love You” video she made for him still on her computer. There were no photos of any other person she dated- just pictures of those two together. When I confronted her about this, she did throw the pictures away, but only after I told her about them.

    My GF reassured me that there was nothing going on, and I believed her. Rick told me the same thing when he found out I knew. I don’t think she wants to date him, but I think that for whatever reason she likes having him around. It has been five months since I learned of this, and I still can’t get over it- how inconsiderate she was to put me in this situation, how she deceived me by lying about it/not telling me about it (which I think is a HUGE deal), and how I never would have moved in with her if I had known the truth beforehand.

    Am I crazy to think that most people would want to leave their past behind instead of seeing it walk through the door everyday?

    I care about this girl, but this has been tearing me apart for five months and I don’t know how to get over it. I feel like if I had known about it sooner, I could’ve gotten over it- but the fact that she lied about it for so many months makes me not trust her. And here’s the kicker- before all this came out, she told me when she was younger she had an abortion- from someone else. She could tell me that (which I think is a MUCH bigger secret) but she didn’t want to tell me about Rick- doesn’t that sound fishy? I find myself looking for excuses to make her feel bad about dating him and lying about it- which I know is never a good sign.

    Any advice is welcome.

    Thanks.
    Now that I know this guy- and I’ve learned even more about his scumbaggery since first meeting him- it makes me wonder what kind of taste my GF had in men before meeting me…. It makes me feel like I could do better…especially since now I wonder what else she’s hiding from me (because I don’t feel like I can really trust her).

  33. I met a girl on a matchmaking service as I could use a diversion for my time while overseas as a deployed soldier in Iraq. She and I spoke for six months online before I was able to come home and finally meet her. We talked about everything- including past relationships. She mentioned how she had lived with an older guy for three years when she turned 18, but that she broke it off because she thought he had cheated on her, he didn’t treat her well, and he wasn’t willing to settle down and marry her. Once we met, she and I fell in love and everything was great for the first several months of our relationship- I even moved in with her after leaving the Army.

    She introduced me to many of her friends, one of them a guy who we will call Rick. Rick was very nice to me, always buying me drinks, and he even offered me a job if I wanted it as I had just left the service. My GF had started a restaurant, and Rick’s contracting company did the majority of the work on the building because she had asked him to do it. Rick even had an office upstairs in the building for his contracting company- right next to my GF’s. When my GFs restaurant opened its doors, my GF hired Rick’s sister to be his bookkeeper- and I was also introduced by my GF to Rick’s entire family when they came in for dinner (which was fairly often). Rick helped bartend for the opening night of the restaurant. My GF was best friends with Rick’s brother’s wife, and my GF would always run to Rick when there were problems with the restaurant. There were several times when I found them upstairs together- alone, talking about things with the door closed. I had my suspicions, so I asked my GF how she got to know Rick- and she said he was just a friend she had known through her best friend (the one who was married to Rick’s brother).

    It wasn’t until we had been actually dating for six months (but talking for over a year) that I discovered the truth about my GF and Rick, just by casual conversation when someone told me he had given her a cheap rate on the construction for the restaurant because they had dated in the past. As I’m sure you know by now, Rick was the guy my GF had lived with for three years. I confronted her about it, and her response was that yes, they had lived together and dated, but that things between them were over. I told her I didn’t want her to talk to him anymore- but it was an impossible request. His sister worked for her, he had a contract for the office upstairs (so he would almost be guaranteed to see her every day for the next two years) and her best friend was married to his brother, so it would be hard for her to see her best friend without occasionally seeing him as well.

    I started snooping around to satisfy my curiosity. Even though it had been a couple years since they dated, she still had BOXES of photos of them together on beaches in Mexico and Jamaica- a place she and I were planning to go. She had an “I Love You” video she made for him still on her computer. There were no photos of any other person she dated- just pictures of those two together. When I confronted her about this, she did throw the pictures away, but only after I told her about them.

    My GF reassured me that there was nothing going on, and I believed her. Rick told me the same thing when he found out I knew. I don’t think she wants to date him, but I think that for whatever reason she likes having him around. It has been five months since I learned of this, and I still can’t get over it- how inconsiderate she was to put me in this situation, how she deceived me by lying about it/not telling me about it (which I think is a HUGE deal), and how I never would have moved in with her if I had known the truth beforehand.

    Am I crazy to think that most people would want to leave their past behind instead of seeing it walk through the door everyday?

    I care about this girl, but this has been tearing me apart for five months and I don’t know how to get over it. I feel like if I had known about it sooner, I could’ve gotten over it- but the fact that she lied about it for so many months makes me not trust her. And here’s the kicker- before all this came out, she told me when she was younger she had an abortion- from someone else. She could tell me that (which I think is a MUCH bigger secret) but she didn’t want to tell me about Rick- doesn’t that sound fishy? I find myself looking for excuses to make her feel bad about dating him and lying about it- which I know is never a good sign.

    Any advice is welcome.

    Thanks.
    Now that I know this guy- and I’ve learned even more about his scumbaggery since first meeting him- it makes me wonder what kind of taste my GF had in men before meeting me…. It makes me feel like I could do better…especially since now I wonder what else she’s hiding from me (because I don’t feel like I can really trust her).

  34. This is imporatant to me, please read :S

    my fiancee is such a stubborn guy, lovely, nice, devoted…but stubborn like…wow. He had a DWI and crashed his car like 3 years ago. Since then, he got a job, lost a job (cause it was a disreputable work place) and he has gone to court, which bumped DOWN his color for drug testing to once a month, instead of twice. If cooperative, he goes on unsupervised probation march 31. Well, he lost his job. He wouldnt call his PO nor call to see if his color was up. Everytime I asked him to call to see he would say “damnit, I know sarah! quit hounding me, I will do it. Quit pushing me, I hate that ” and he never does, the more I ask, the more pissed off he gets at me. I asked him to use my aunts phone and he was like “No, cause then they will never shut up” or he says” you know we can’t afford it, its 100$ at the hospital to get a drug test”. I try and get him off his butt to do something towards getting out of a rut and he just sits there and rather pretends it is not real..and when I tell him it wont go away he grits his teeth and scoffs going “ugh…I KNOW SARAH…shut up..” then he has this tendency to point the finger at me about being a messy person or something so I don’t have a halo around my head in that argument. Well, he had a warrant out cause of missed tests, turned himself in, went in front of a judge in a orange jumpsuit and shackles trying to reason and tell the judge he didn’t have a phone to contact nor money to do the tests, offered to be on a more frequent color rather than the 2 weeks jail time. Judge told him “well, couldnt you have used a pay phone, or mail a letter to your probation officer” he pauses five seconds and goes “well, I guess” then the judge says ” There is no legitamate reason why you failed to contact your PO for over…4 months.. So I am going to give you the 15 days cause I don’t think you would learn otherwise.” His mom was crying, was it bad that I was smiling???? I was mad, and equally like ” yeah, thats what you get for being stubborn ‘have it your way’ ” Anyway, when he gets out, if you were me, would you welcome him with open arms and a present (his Bday is Vday) or be pissed off….what would you do?

  35. my mom has attempted suicide again. I found Christ when I was expecting my son, I repented for my lifestyle and being unmarried. Five years later I started to date, sinned with two men I though each I was going to marry and had to repent so fully I know I will never do so again, by the grace of our the holy spirit, Jesus Christ and our holy God. My mom since she was young, she had a horrible, unmentionable childhood and was suicidal since younger, I thought she was doing better but has tried to drink and take pills about three to four times since I knew about her tries when I was 14. I feel bad I depended on her for a place to live and money with my son so I could raise him but I guess I thought because she had a lot of money it was okay and she was helping me financiallly so I could be there raise him to have love and follow Jesus and God. I have given her money, usually in a lump sum, but she was also generous. I tried to help her by being there for her also. I finallly moved out in the end of February again, this time to my own place, thanks to God. My son broke his arm and I had a problem with the first apartment but I did not ask her for money, but stayed with her a few days in between after she said she wanted us to. I also borrowed her car, to take my son to a bone doctor that was too far for my car, because she offered. I realize I should have said no. Anyway, she has other things going on, she can’t keep a job for some reason and she left one in December because her boss wasn’t nice or good and has been turned down a lot. She also has problems with most of our family members she says it is all our fault, because her three kids and family members never help her. I have tried to. I tell her I love her and Jesus and God loves her and she scoffs at me and tells me to go away. She is running out of money because she had about 15,000 since January but it is dwindling. So she said she was going to commit suicide and can’t take it (she says this a lot) but she had a will notarized last week and sent what was very like a suicde letter through email to my brother. That night I called 911 because she told me goodbye and tell my son to live a good life and she is sorry she wasn’t a good mother and we are all ungrateful and goodbye to everyone.

    I called 911 they took her to a hospital, and then a mental hospital for one day. She got out and told me and my brother to never contact her again. I thought she was mad, but hopefull she got past those dire feelings. She called her mom and cousin and said basically we made it up, she just sent that letter in case and she wouldn’t do anything to commit suicide. We were upset but relieved she was alive. Then she texted my uncle, goodbye the next day in a way where he was really worried so he called the police, they found her in the bathroom. She had slit her wrist. They said she had three minutes I am told, she was in ICU. Yesterday she was transferred to a regular room, I went to see her in ICU told her I loved her, Jesus and God lover her and we want her to feel better. She told me leave, get out, go away. I did. My 15 year old sister wanted to see her the next day. I went to support her and her dad, my stepfather before the divorce, and she asked to see my son after. I let her talk to him because she has done a lot for him, then she was really angry started yelling and being mean to me, so I left with him. She is angry with us, says it is the people around hers fault. They can’t tell us how she is now because she won’t let them by law, and is being rude. I am worried they will let her go, I don’t know what to do. I put it in the hands of God and pray for salvaiton in Jesus Christ to save her. I don’t know what else should be done

  36. I did ask a similar question but it was only for the last 2-3 paragraphs and I think that people thought that it was the begining, well heres the whole thing at the moment. Lastly I know that to older people it may not apeal, but this is a story for teens etc, so that may be the reason why. I know my grammar isn’t perfect and I understand that.

    Preface

    My name is Chezney Wilson. I’m not some famous celebrity chased by the paparazzi that you see tend to always see nowadays. I’m not even some random wannabe that tags along with the largest crowds just to be noticed and appreciated. I don’t want to be any of those people. I just want to be a normal and regular guy, that tries to help others as much as he can. Who does his best to try and make the world just that little better. Well I thought that I was just a normal and regular guy, but as it turned out, there was more to me then even I knew.

    Chapter One

    A New Start

    Being a lonely child and having your parents split up is incredibly hard. First of all, your most likely going to be confused, hurt and scared as you have no idea for if it is your fathers fault, your mothers or maybe even yours. That’s immediately how I felt when my parents got divorced, and these were my exact feelings on the twenty sixth of may, two thousand and ten, five days before my eighteenth birthday, when I found myself sitting beside my Dad, Harry Wilson, in the front passenger seat of his shiny new black Porsche. My Dad is kind of rich; he had a big job in a hospital. Actually he was known as the best doctor in all Seattle which I think that this was the problem, that my Mom, didn’t think that my Dad spent enough time at home. However now that we had left Seattle; due to both his and my Mom’s, final decision. My Dad has been offered a new job as the chief doctor in Traverse City, Michigan. I don’t really pay any attention to the fact that my Dad earns a great deal of money each year, as cash isn’t really everything, its really all about what you want to do in life. That is why in the backseat, my bass guitar is safely lieing down on a few fully packed suitcases. Music is just one of the subjects that I fully enjoy, to me life without music is simply unbearable, I play guitar and sometimes only when I’m alone, I tend to sing a little. When school is involved, I’m not exactly the cleverest in my classes, I guess you can say that I’m an average B plus student. I put a lot of effort into my education as its important and a few good grades, can make nice decorations on the kitchen refrigerator.
    After a another slow two and a half hour drive, we soon started to arrive at the city’s entrance. Feeling extremely bored due to the lack of activity, I gazed into the small side view mirror and took a good look at my appearance, ready for when we finally got out of the car. As I swept my long and dark fringe away from my right eye, my hard, piercing and still a little upset, blue eye slowly blinked back in my direction. Apart from the clear signs of lack of sleep that had started to creep around the bottom of both of my eyes, they seemed to both looked perfectly fine.
    “That’s what you need, plenty of sleep,” remarked my Dad suddenly, still keeping his eyes on the busy road in front of us as we slowly came to a short bend. This remark sounded strange because apart from the quick, ‘Are you ready?’ he had asked before we had left, this was the first thing that he had said throughout the whole trip.
    “Maybe,” I muttered, not taking any notice of what he had just said. As I looked away from the side view mirror, I managed to catch a small glimpse of the city’s tall welcome sign, as it towered above us for just a quick a second. Feeling awkward, he slowly shuffled around in his seat and then took a quick sip of his strong smelling black coffee. Wanting to avoid this awkward moment, I looked out of my window and noticed that there were a lot of people and stores flashing by, then there had been around five minutes ago.
    As we gradually began to drive deeper into the city, it soon became to feel incredibly boring. For no apparent reason, I tightly closed my eyes and reopened them five minutes later, to find that we had just left the city and now started to pass the most beautiful looking beach that I had ever seen. As if the beach was somehow controlling me, I rolled down my window, allowing a gentle breeze to enter, so that I could see everything even more clearly. Everything about the beach looked amazing its golden sand as it glinted in the strong sun light and the clear deep blue water.
    “I knew that you would like this place,” Dad eagerly remarked, as he took a quick and hopeful look in my direction. Without answering, I knew inside that he was right, this place was extreme. “Kind of beautiful isn’t it?” he asked, as we stopped at a set of lights, to let a group of laughing teens, carrying surf boards, cross the road. Giving the beach one last look, I turned to look at Dad, as I

  37. I met a girl on a matchmaking service as I could use a diversion for my time while overseas as a deployed soldier in Iraq. She and I spoke for six months online before I was able to come home and finally meet her. We talked about everything- including past relationships. She mentioned how she had lived with an older guy for three years when she turned 18, but that she broke it off because she thought he had cheated on her, he didn’t treat her well, and he wasn’t willing to settle down and marry her. Once we met, she and I fell in love and everything was great for the first several months of our relationship- I even moved in with her after leaving the Army.

    She introduced me to many of her friends, one of them a guy who we will call Rick. Rick was very nice to me, always buying me drinks, and he even offered me a job if I wanted it as I had just left the service. My GF had started a restaurant, and Rick’s contracting company did the majority of the work on the building because she had asked him to do it. Rick even had an office upstairs in the building for his contracting company- right next to my GF’s. When my GFs restaurant opened its doors, my GF hired Rick’s sister to be his bookkeeper- and I was also introduced by my GF to Rick’s entire family when they came in for dinner (which was fairly often). Rick helped bartend for the opening night of the restaurant. My GF was best friends with Rick’s brother’s wife, and my GF would always run to Rick when there were problems with the restaurant. There were several times when I found them upstairs together- alone, talking about things with the door closed. I had my suspicions, so I asked my GF how she got to know Rick- and she said he was just a friend she had known through her best friend (the one who was married to Rick’s brother).

    It wasn’t until we had been actually dating for six months (but talking for over a year) that I discovered the truth about my GF and Rick, just by casual conversation when someone told me he had given her a cheap rate on the construction for the restaurant because they had dated in the past. As I’m sure you know by now, Rick was the guy my GF had lived with for three years. I confronted her about it, and her response was that yes, they had lived together and dated, but that things between them were over. I told her I didn’t want her to talk to him anymore- but it was an impossible request. His sister worked for her, he had a contract for the office upstairs (so he would almost be guaranteed to see her every day for the next two years) and her best friend was married to his brother, so it would be hard for her to see her best friend without occasionally seeing him as well.

    I started snooping around to satisfy my curiosity. Even though it had been a couple years since they dated, she still had BOXES of photos of them together on beaches in Mexico and Jamaica- a place she and I were planning to go. She had an “I Love You” video she made for him still on her computer. There were no photos of any other person she dated- just pictures of those two together. When I confronted her about this, she did throw the pictures away, but only after I told her about them.

    My GF reassured me that there was nothing going on, and I believed her. Rick told me the same thing when he found out I knew. I don’t think she wants to date him, but I think that for whatever reason she likes having him around. It has been five months since I learned of this, and I still can’t get over it- how inconsiderate she was to put me in this situation, how she deceived me by lying about it/not telling me about it (which I think is a HUGE deal), and how I never would have moved in with her if I had known the truth beforehand.

    Am I crazy to think that most people would want to leave their past behind instead of seeing it walk through the door everyday?

    I care about this girl, but this has been tearing me apart for five months and I don’t know how to get over it. I feel like if I had known about it sooner, I could’ve gotten over it- but the fact that she lied about it for so many months makes me not trust her. And here’s the kicker- before all this came out, she told me when she was younger she had an abortion- from someone else. She could tell me that (which I think is a MUCH bigger secret) but she didn’t want to tell me about Rick- doesn’t that sound fishy? I find myself looking for excuses to make her feel bad about dating him and lying about it- which I know is never a good sign.

    Any advice is welcome.

    Thanks.
    Now that I know this guy- and I’ve learned even more about his scumbaggery since first meeting him- it makes me wonder what kind of taste my GF had in men before meeting me…. It makes me feel like I could do better…especially since now I wonder what else she’s hiding from me (because I don’t feel like I can really trust her).

  38. my fiancee is such a stubborn guy, lovely, nice, devoted…but stubborn like…wow. He had a DWI and crashed his car like 3 years ago. Since then, he got a job, lost a job (cause it was a disreputable work place) and he has gone to court, which bumped DOWN his color for drug testing to once a month, instead of twice. If cooperative, he goes on unsupervised probation march 31. Well, he lost his job. He wouldnt call his PO nor call to see if his color was up. Everytime I asked him to call to see he would say “damnit, I know sarah! quit hounding me, I will do it. Quit pushing me, I hate that ” and he never does, the more I ask, the more pissed off he gets at me. I asked him to use my aunts phone and he was like “No, cause then they will never shut up” or he says” you know we can’t afford it, its 100$ at the hospital to get a drug test”. I try and get him off his butt to do something towards getting out of a rut and he just sits there and rather pretends it is not real..and when I tell him it wont go away he grits his teeth and scoffs going “ugh…I KNOW SARAH…shut up..” then he has this tendency to point the finger at me about being a messy person or something so I don’t have a halo around my head in that argument. Well, he had a warrant out cause of missed tests, turned himself in, went in front of a judge in a orange jumpsuit and shackles trying to reason and tell the judge he didn’t have a phone to contact nor money to do the tests, offered to be on a more frequent color rather than the 2 weeks jail time. Judge told him “well, couldnt you have used a pay phone, or mail a letter to your probation officer” he pauses five seconds and goes “well, I guess” then the judge says ” There is no legitamate reason why you failed to contact your PO for over…4 months.. So I am going to give you the 15 days cause I don’t think you would learn otherwise.” His mom was crying, was it bad that I was smiling???? I was mad, and equally like ” yeah, thats what you get for being stubborn ‘have it your way’ ” Anyway, when he gets out, if you were me, would you welcome him with open arms and a present (his Bday is Vday) or be pissed off….what would you do?

  39. I know this is long but if you’re a reg, TC or professional, please consider reading this even if you don’t want to respond. I honestly don’t know what to do with myself. Many regs here know that I state that I am a qualified mental health practitioner. That is true – I would never lie about a qualification I do not have or pretend to be somebody I am not.

    I do not currently work in mental health because of a traumatic even 12 months ago. I was set-up by an angry ex-partner when I found out he was having an affair and threatened to tell his ‘other woman’.

    In order to stop me, he got me sectioned. Very easy for him to do as he was a police sergeant. It took one call and I was dragged off for no reason. He told them I was about to commit suicide. I was not. He just wanted me out of the way to buy himself time to protect himself.

    I was treated ok by the police, but horrendously by hospital staff including members of the crisis team and ward staff. My level of distress grew tenfold every day because they kept tricking me over and over, saying I only needed to stay one night then I could go, Three days later they were still holding me. I was crying and begging to be freed but they told me I could not go. The section had been lifted before I even got to hospital for assessment (yes, really!). They had no holding powers on me and they kept telling me I was there voluntarily. I was not. To this day in my notes it says I was there on a voluntary basis yet I tried everything to try to get out.

    They had told me I was not able to see a psychiatrist for another 12 days as they only visited the ward every 2 weeks. Being a mental health practitioner, I knew this was rubbish and knew my legal rights and so I called a solicitor. She visited the ward twice and told the staff they were holding me illegally. She told them they must either let me go or section me. On both occasions, the staff told her they would call a psychiatrist and get them to assess me that same day with a view to allowing me to go home, The solicitor would leave the ward, and the staff would NOT call a psychiatrist to come and talk to me, In fact they did nothing but lie and abuse me. I did not eat one single thing for five days and had less than two tiny cups of water each day. In fact it was only after I left that I realised that at no point did they offer me food. I was exhausted, weak, angry and actually began to feel genuinely suicidal over the captivity and deceit. I looked for ways to end my life and found none. I could not believe what was happening to me – as if finding out the man I’d been with for two years had been cheating the whole time, not ON me with WITH ME. I was his ‘other woman’ but neither his partner nor myself had any inkling. He lived a double life that whole time and now I was having to face this trauma which went against EVERYTHING I’d been taught at university and every instict I had.

    After several days, I actually escaped from the psychiatric ward. I cannot tell you how because I do not want to give vulnerable people who NEED to be in hospital ideas on how to get out, but escape I did, and I jumped on the first bus I saw and fled to a train station and got many miles away. I hid there for two weeks, staying each night in a different hotel, paying for everything with cash so I could not be traced via bank statements.

    On three occasions I was returning to the hotels for the night after a day quite literally on the run and found police cars parked outside. I ran and hid until they left, convinced they had tracked me down and were waiting to transport me back to Hell behind locked doors.

    Eventually I returned home. The police turned up several minutes after I returned. It was a dumb cop probably too delirious from doughnut munching to care about his job. He found me eventually, hiding in my wardrobe. He didn’t even know the circumstances or that I was supposed to be in hospital. In fact he knew nothing except one of the neighbours had called the police after seeing me return. The police had apparently asked the neighbours to call 999 if any of them saw me, and one of them had. He didn’t know why he’d been sent. Somehow I managed to blag my way out of it and he left, clueless.

    Since then, I have had the biggest hatred for mental health services like you wouldn’t believe. My anger boils constantly because they have taken away my career – I can no longer work with other MH professionals because I trust NONE. My answers here on Yahoo Answers are my only way of exercising what I have learnt and my urge to help and advise others is as strong as it ever was.

    I feel traumatised by my experience. I will never and can never work with mental health services again, either as a patient or professional. My instinct to keep every tiny aspect of my life incredibly private is so strong that I barely talk to anybody now.

    What do I do? Please don’t suggest counse
    Sorry – counselling or anything to do with mental health. I am scared, angry and lost.
    DD, I’ll try to answer with not many characters!

    In the UK a psychiatrist MUST assess patient before discharge even if they are there voluntarily. Nobody can just walk out at any time. Legally if a vol. patient asks to leave, they need to call a psych during the day and ask them to come and eval with a view to discharge. Staff said they would call one, but then refused to do so. The solicitor would have been breaking the law trying to get me out without an eval.

    The unit was locked & staff on the door 24/7. I could not just walk out. Bars on windows, that kind of thing.

    I would have refused food regardless. I had not taken anything prior to admission & they do blood tests to check this. No meds/drugs/alcohol in system. ‘Inmates’ flocked to kitchen area at mealtimes but I was never called for a meal or told I had to eat. Nobody offered to bring toast to my room, for example. I refused to eat/sit with patients as I would be seen to be complying with their abuse & I was not a patient a
    I was not a patient and did not want a reputation of being amongst the others patients (I would not socialise in case of of them knew me!)

    Cannot go back and ‘get records’. Here you have to apply to see medical records and they only give you the very basic stuff that they don’t mind you reading. No way would info in there from that lock up be released to me.

    After I left I was hiding because I had escaped from a locked psychiatric ward. The police kept calling my mobile and leaving messages asking me to go back or meet them anywhere I wanted. I was on ‘red alert’ – what the cops call ‘high risk missing’ partly due to the state I was in when I left and partly due to absconding. It means police were out looking for me and could 136 me in the street and take me back if they found me (sectioning in a public place). I was not scared by the cop/ex. I knew he wouldn’t hurt me – we are not talking domestic violence. It’s abuse of power but he never ever physically hurt me in any way.
    DD, I’ll try to answer with not many characters!

    In the UK a psychiatrist MUST assess patient before discharge even if they are there voluntarily. Nobody can just walk out at any time. Legally if a vol. patient asks to leave, they need to call a psych during the day and ask them to come and eval with a view to discharge. Staff said they would call one, but then refused to do so. The solicitor would have been breaking the law trying to get me out without an eval.

    The unit was locked & staff on the door 24/7. I could not just walk out. Bars on windows, that kind of thing.

    I would have refused food regardless. I had not taken anything prior to admission & they do blood tests to check this. No meds/drugs/alcohol in system. ‘Inmates’ flocked to kitchen area at mealtimes but I was never called for a meal or told I had to eat. Nobody offered to bring toast to my room, for example. I refused to eat/sit with patients as I would be seen to be complying with their abuse & I was not a patient a

  40. I did ask a similar question but it was only for the last 2-3 paragraphs and I think that people thought that it was the begining, well heres the whole thing at the moment. Lastly I know that to older people it may not apeal, but this is a story for teens etc, so that may be the reason why. I know my grammar isn’t perfect and I understand that.

    Preface

    My name is Chezney Wilson. I’m not some famous celebrity chased by the paparazzi that you see tend to always see nowadays. I’m not even some random wannabe that tags along with the largest crowds just to be noticed and appreciated. I don’t want to be any of those people. I just want to be a normal and regular guy, that tries to help others as much as he can. Who does his best to try and make the world just that little better. Well I thought that I was just a normal and regular guy, but as it turned out, there was more to me then even I knew.

    Chapter One

    A New Start

    Being a lonely child and having your parents split up is incredibly hard. First of all, your most likely going to be confused, hurt and scared as you have no idea for if it is your fathers fault, your mothers or maybe even yours. That’s immediately how I felt when my parents got divorced, and these were my exact feelings on the twenty sixth of may, two thousand and ten, five days before my eighteenth birthday, when I found myself sitting beside my Dad, Harry Wilson, in the front passenger seat of his shiny new black Porsche. My Dad is kind of rich; he had a big job in a hospital. Actually he was known as the best doctor in all Seattle which I think that this was the problem, that my Mom, didn’t think that my Dad spent enough time at home. However now that we had left Seattle; due to both his and my Mom’s, final decision. My Dad has been offered a new job as the chief doctor in Traverse City, Michigan. I don’t really pay any attention to the fact that my Dad earns a great deal of money each year, as cash isn’t really everything, its really all about what you want to do in life. That is why in the backseat, my bass guitar is safely lieing down on a few fully packed suitcases. Music is just one of the subjects that I fully enjoy, to me life without music is simply unbearable, I play guitar and sometimes only when I’m alone, I tend to sing a little. When school is involved, I’m not exactly the cleverest in my classes, I guess you can say that I’m an average B plus student. I put a lot of effort into my education as its important and a few good grades, can make nice decorations on the kitchen refrigerator.
    After a another slow two and a half hour drive, we soon started to arrive at the city’s entrance. Feeling extremely bored due to the lack of activity, I gazed into the small side view mirror and took a good look at my appearance, ready for when we finally got out of the car. As I swept my long and dark fringe away from my right eye, my hard, piercing and still a little upset, blue eye slowly blinked back in my direction. Apart from the clear signs of lack of sleep that had started to creep around the bottom of both of my eyes, they seemed to both looked perfectly fine.
    “That’s what you need, plenty of sleep,” remarked my Dad suddenly, still keeping his eyes on the busy road in front of us as we slowly came to a short bend. This remark sounded strange because apart from the quick, ‘Are you ready?’ he had asked before we had left, this was the first thing that he had said throughout the whole trip.
    “Maybe,” I muttered, not taking any notice of what he had just said. As I looked away from the side view mirror, I managed to catch a small glimpse of the city’s tall welcome sign, as it towered above us for just a quick a second. Feeling awkward, he slowly shuffled around in his seat and then took a quick sip of his strong smelling black coffee. Wanting to avoid this awkward moment, I looked out of my window and noticed that there were a lot of people and stores flashing by, then there had been around five minutes ago.
    As we gradually began to drive deeper into the city, it soon became to feel incredibly boring. For no apparent reason, I tightly closed my eyes and reopened them five minutes later, to find that we had just left the city and now started to pass the most beautiful looking beach that I had ever seen. As if the beach was somehow controlling me, I rolled down my window, allowing a gentle breeze to enter, so that I could see everything even more clearly. Everything about the beach looked amazing its golden sand as it glinted in the strong sun light and the clear deep blue water.
    “I knew that you would like this place,” Dad eagerly remarked, as he took a quick and hopeful look in my direction. Without answering, I knew inside that he was right, this place was extreme. “Kind of beautiful isn’t it?” he asked, as we stopped at a set of lights, to let a group of laughing teens, carrying surf boards, cross the road. Giving the beach one last look, I turned to look at Dad, as I

  41. my mom has attempted suicide again. I found Christ when I was expecting my son, I repented for my lifestyle and being unmarried. Five years later I started to date, sinned with two men I though each I was going to marry and had to repent so fully I know I will never do so again, by the grace of our the holy spirit, Jesus Christ and our holy God. My mom since she was young, she had a horrible, unmentionable childhood and was suicidal since younger, I thought she was doing better but has tried to drink and take pills about three to four times since I knew about her tries when I was 14. I feel bad I depended on her for a place to live and money with my son so I could raise him but I guess I thought because she had a lot of money it was okay and she was helping me financiallly so I could be there raise him to have love and follow Jesus and God. I have given her money, usually in a lump sum, but she was also generous. I tried to help her by being there for her also. I finallly moved out in the end of February again, this time to my own place, thanks to God. My son broke his arm and I had a problem with the first apartment but I did not ask her for money, but stayed with her a few days in between after she said she wanted us to. I also borrowed her car, to take my son to a bone doctor that was too far for my car, because she offered. I realize I should have said no. Anyway, she has other things going on, she can’t keep a job for some reason and she left one in December because her boss wasn’t nice or good and has been turned down a lot. She also has problems with most of our family members she says it is all our fault, because her three kids and family members never help her. I have tried to. I tell her I love her and Jesus and God loves her and she scoffs at me and tells me to go away. She is running out of money because she had about 15,000 since January but it is dwindling. So she said she was going to commit suicide and can’t take it (she says this a lot) but she had a will notarized last week and sent what was very like a suicde letter through email to my brother. That night I called 911 because she told me goodbye and tell my son to live a good life and she is sorry she wasn’t a good mother and we are all ungrateful and goodbye to everyone.

    I called 911 they took her to a hospital, and then a mental hospital for one day. She got out and told me and my brother to never contact her again. I thought she was mad, but hopefull she got past those dire feelings. She called her mom and cousin and said basically we made it up, she just sent that letter in case and she wouldn’t do anything to commit suicide. We were upset but relieved she was alive. Then she texted my uncle, goodbye the next day in a way where he was really worried so he called the police, they found her in the bathroom. She had slit her wrist. They said she had three minutes I am told, she was in ICU. Yesterday she was transferred to a regular room, I went to see her in ICU told her I loved her, Jesus and God lover her and we want her to feel better. She told me leave, get out, go away. I did. My 15 year old sister wanted to see her the next day. I went to support her and her dad, my stepfather before the divorce, and she asked to see my son after. I let her talk to him because she has done a lot for him, then she was really angry started yelling and being mean to me, so I left with him. She is angry with us, says it is the people around hers fault. They can’t tell us how she is now because she won’t let them by law, and is being rude. I am worried they will let her go, I don’t know what to do. I put it in the hands of God and pray for salvaiton in Jesus Christ to save her. I don’t know what else should be done

  42. I did ask a similar question but it was only for the last 2-3 paragraphs and I think that people thought that it was the begining, well heres the whole thing at the moment. Lastly I know that to older people it may not apeal, but this is a story for teens etc, so that may be the reason why. I know my grammar isn’t perfect and I understand that.

    Preface

    My name is Chezney Wilson. I’m not some famous celebrity chased by the paparazzi that you see tend to always see nowadays. I’m not even some random wannabe that tags along with the largest crowds just to be noticed and appreciated. I don’t want to be any of those people. I just want to be a normal and regular guy, that tries to help others as much as he can. Who does his best to try and make the world just that little better. Well I thought that I was just a normal and regular guy, but as it turned out, there was more to me then even I knew.

    Chapter One

    A New Start

    Being a lonely child and having your parents split up is incredibly hard. First of all, your most likely going to be confused, hurt and scared as you have no idea for if it is your fathers fault, your mothers or maybe even yours. That’s immediately how I felt when my parents got divorced, and these were my exact feelings on the twenty sixth of may, two thousand and ten, five days before my eighteenth birthday, when I found myself sitting beside my Dad, Harry Wilson, in the front passenger seat of his shiny new black Porsche. My Dad is kind of rich; he had a big job in a hospital. Actually he was known as the best doctor in all Seattle which I think that this was the problem, that my Mom, didn’t think that my Dad spent enough time at home. However now that we had left Seattle; due to both his and my Mom’s, final decision. My Dad has been offered a new job as the chief doctor in Traverse City, Michigan. I don’t really pay any attention to the fact that my Dad earns a great deal of money each year, as cash isn’t really everything, its really all about what you want to do in life. That is why in the backseat, my bass guitar is safely lieing down on a few fully packed suitcases. Music is just one of the subjects that I fully enjoy, to me life without music is simply unbearable, I play guitar and sometimes only when I’m alone, I tend to sing a little. When school is involved, I’m not exactly the cleverest in my classes, I guess you can say that I’m an average B plus student. I put a lot of effort into my education as its important and a few good grades, can make nice decorations on the kitchen refrigerator.
    After a another slow two and a half hour drive, we soon started to arrive at the city’s entrance. Feeling extremely bored due to the lack of activity, I gazed into the small side view mirror and took a good look at my appearance, ready for when we finally got out of the car. As I swept my long and dark fringe away from my right eye, my hard, piercing and still a little upset, blue eye slowly blinked back in my direction. Apart from the clear signs of lack of sleep that had started to creep around the bottom of both of my eyes, they seemed to both looked perfectly fine.
    “That’s what you need, plenty of sleep,” remarked my Dad suddenly, still keeping his eyes on the busy road in front of us as we slowly came to a short bend. This remark sounded strange because apart from the quick, ‘Are you ready?’ he had asked before we had left, this was the first thing that he had said throughout the whole trip.
    “Maybe,” I muttered, not taking any notice of what he had just said. As I looked away from the side view mirror, I managed to catch a small glimpse of the city’s tall welcome sign, as it towered above us for just a quick a second. Feeling awkward, he slowly shuffled around in his seat and then took a quick sip of his strong smelling black coffee. Wanting to avoid this awkward moment, I looked out of my window and noticed that there were a lot of people and stores flashing by, then there had been around five minutes ago.
    As we gradually began to drive deeper into the city, it soon became to feel incredibly boring. For no apparent reason, I tightly closed my eyes and reopened them five minutes later, to find that we had just left the city and now started to pass the most beautiful looking beach that I had ever seen. As if the beach was somehow controlling me, I rolled down my window, allowing a gentle breeze to enter, so that I could see everything even more clearly. Everything about the beach looked amazing its golden sand as it glinted in the strong sun light and the clear deep blue water.
    “I knew that you would like this place,” Dad eagerly remarked, as he took a quick and hopeful look in my direction. Without answering, I knew inside that he was right, this place was extreme. “Kind of beautiful isn’t it?” he asked, as we stopped at a set of lights, to let a group of laughing teens, carrying surf boards, cross the road. Giving the beach one last look, I turned to look at Dad, as I

  43. This is imporatant to me, please read :S

    my fiancee is such a stubborn guy, lovely, nice, devoted…but stubborn like…wow. He had a DWI and crashed his car like 3 years ago. Since then, he got a job, lost a job (cause it was a disreputable work place) and he has gone to court, which bumped DOWN his color for drug testing to once a month, instead of twice. If cooperative, he goes on unsupervised probation march 31. Well, he lost his job. He wouldnt call his PO nor call to see if his color was up. Everytime I asked him to call to see he would say “damnit, I know sarah! quit hounding me, I will do it. Quit pushing me, I hate that ” and he never does, the more I ask, the more pissed off he gets at me. I asked him to use my aunts phone and he was like “No, cause then they will never shut up” or he says” you know we can’t afford it, its 100$ at the hospital to get a drug test”. I try and get him off his butt to do something towards getting out of a rut and he just sits there and rather pretends it is not real..and when I tell him it wont go away he grits his teeth and scoffs going “ugh…I KNOW SARAH…shut up..” then he has this tendency to point the finger at me about being a messy person or something so I don’t have a halo around my head in that argument. Well, he had a warrant out cause of missed tests, turned himself in, went in front of a judge in a orange jumpsuit and shackles trying to reason and tell the judge he didn’t have a phone to contact nor money to do the tests, offered to be on a more frequent color rather than the 2 weeks jail time. Judge told him “well, couldnt you have used a pay phone, or mail a letter to your probation officer” he pauses five seconds and goes “well, I guess” then the judge says ” There is no legitamate reason why you failed to contact your PO for over…4 months.. So I am going to give you the 15 days cause I don’t think you would learn otherwise.” His mom was crying, was it bad that I was smiling???? I was mad, and equally like ” yeah, thats what you get for being stubborn ‘have it your way’ ” Anyway, when he gets out, if you were me, would you welcome him with open arms and a present (his Bday is Vday) or be pissed off….what would you do?

  44. I did ask a similar question but it was only for the last 2-3 paragraphs and I think that people thought that it was the begining, well heres the whole thing at the moment. Lastly I know that to older people it may not apeal, but this is a story for teens etc, so that may be the reason why. I know my grammar isn’t perfect and I understand that.

    Preface

    My name is Chezney Wilson. I’m not some famous celebrity chased by the paparazzi that you see tend to always see nowadays. I’m not even some random wannabe that tags along with the largest crowds just to be noticed and appreciated. I don’t want to be any of those people. I just want to be a normal and regular guy, that tries to help others as much as he can. Who does his best to try and make the world just that little better. Well I thought that I was just a normal and regular guy, but as it turned out, there was more to me then even I knew.

    Chapter One

    A New Start

    Being a lonely child and having your parents split up is incredibly hard. First of all, your most likely going to be confused, hurt and scared as you have no idea for if it is your fathers fault, your mothers or maybe even yours. That’s immediately how I felt when my parents got divorced, and these were my exact feelings on the twenty sixth of may, two thousand and ten, five days before my eighteenth birthday, when I found myself sitting beside my Dad, Harry Wilson, in the front passenger seat of his shiny new black Porsche. My Dad is kind of rich; he had a big job in a hospital. Actually he was known as the best doctor in all Seattle which I think that this was the problem, that my Mom, didn’t think that my Dad spent enough time at home. However now that we had left Seattle; due to both his and my Mom’s, final decision. My Dad has been offered a new job as the chief doctor in Traverse City, Michigan. I don’t really pay any attention to the fact that my Dad earns a great deal of money each year, as cash isn’t really everything, its really all about what you want to do in life. That is why in the backseat, my bass guitar is safely lieing down on a few fully packed suitcases. Music is just one of the subjects that I fully enjoy, to me life without music is simply unbearable, I play guitar and sometimes only when I’m alone, I tend to sing a little. When school is involved, I’m not exactly the cleverest in my classes, I guess you can say that I’m an average B plus student. I put a lot of effort into my education as its important and a few good grades, can make nice decorations on the kitchen refrigerator.
    After a another slow two and a half hour drive, we soon started to arrive at the city’s entrance. Feeling extremely bored due to the lack of activity, I gazed into the small side view mirror and took a good look at my appearance, ready for when we finally got out of the car. As I swept my long and dark fringe away from my right eye, my hard, piercing and still a little upset, blue eye slowly blinked back in my direction. Apart from the clear signs of lack of sleep that had started to creep around the bottom of both of my eyes, they seemed to both looked perfectly fine.
    “That’s what you need, plenty of sleep,” remarked my Dad suddenly, still keeping his eyes on the busy road in front of us as we slowly came to a short bend. This remark sounded strange because apart from the quick, ‘Are you ready?’ he had asked before we had left, this was the first thing that he had said throughout the whole trip.
    “Maybe,” I muttered, not taking any notice of what he had just said. As I looked away from the side view mirror, I managed to catch a small glimpse of the city’s tall welcome sign, as it towered above us for just a quick a second. Feeling awkward, he slowly shuffled around in his seat and then took a quick sip of his strong smelling black coffee. Wanting to avoid this awkward moment, I looked out of my window and noticed that there were a lot of people and stores flashing by, then there had been around five minutes ago.
    As we gradually began to drive deeper into the city, it soon became to feel incredibly boring. For no apparent reason, I tightly closed my eyes and reopened them five minutes later, to find that we had just left the city and now started to pass the most beautiful looking beach that I had ever seen. As if the beach was somehow controlling me, I rolled down my window, allowing a gentle breeze to enter, so that I could see everything even more clearly. Everything about the beach looked amazing its golden sand as it glinted in the strong sun light and the clear deep blue water.
    “I knew that you would like this place,” Dad eagerly remarked, as he took a quick and hopeful look in my direction. Without answering, I knew inside that he was right, this place was extreme. “Kind of beautiful isn’t it?” he asked, as we stopped at a set of lights, to let a group of laughing teens, carrying surf boards, cross the road. Giving the beach one last look, I turned to look at Dad, as I

  45. i am nearly blinde, not completely but nearly. i just went to my gonna be high school to take the placement testing with all the other eighth graders. sinc e i am nearly blinde, my braille teacher signed me up to get a large print test booklit, no big deal right? well they all turned it into something bigger than it was, very insulting. so i had to go and tell some lady that i needed a large print test booklit, so i said “i’ve been signed up to use a large print test booklit”
    the lady goes. “you mean you need special accomidations.”
    “no, just a large print test booklit.”
    “no that would be considered special accomidations, come with me” she made me stand off to the side, with all the kids in special ed, and yes, i am in special ed, but TO READ BRAILLE not becuase i can’t comprehend the stuff they through at me, i am in all the gifted classes, and i’m planning on being advanced placement, in everything in high school.
    so i am standing their with all the support kids, and i ask “am i going to be in the room i was assigned too?” because that was really important to me, not to be seperated from my friend, who i was getting a ride home with, (we have the same last initial, so we were in the same room)
    and she said “we’ll see”
    she looked for my name on her list, and couldn’t find it, i told her “thats because i am not supposed to be here, i am supposed to be in s229.”
    she goes in a high pitched talking slow, almost parent ease voice “don’t worry, we’ll get you tested, just sit down iin here.”
    “but i am not supposed to be in here.”
    “yeah, i know, we’ll figure it out” same voice.
    then they would not let me fill out the forms myself, there was one wehre we were supposed to mark in all our grades this year in our classes, i told the lady that i get a’s in everything. and she was all “good job, you must be smart” then they asked if we were in excelerated classes, she almost filled in no, before i told her that i was in excelerated classes. they locked me in a room, with the lady, to mark the answers for me. that is what they do for the all blind kids, i told them over and over again, that i don’t need that, i can see. really i can. but nope, it was really offending, how they forced me to do this stuff. so i answer the first test, and the lady, makes me give her a high five, and she tells me “good job,” in the high pitched parent ease voice, and i give her a weak, please don’t talk to me in that tone, voice. this happened three more times with the three tests, and by this time, i was feeling very offended that they assumed that i was not smart enough to be in excelerated, and that i was in the room for other reasons, by the time i was in sixth grade, i was making accomadations for myself by myself, that they trained me to do in grade school, so all of this was really offending.
    then i finished, the science portion, and she said, “congradulations, your done, you can go home now.” i look at her like she’s the one who’s being treated meantly ill, and say, “no, i am staying for the writing portion” which is what you have to stay for to get into AP writing, which of coarse is very important to me, they just assumed i wasn’t going to take it, they didn’t even offer it to me. which is offending, but then the other lady, that made come in there at all, said to me, “you know, you don’t have to take it.” in the parent ease voice
    i say, “i know, but i want to be in A P English.” and she rolls her eyes at me and says, “if you want too.” in a ‘waisting your time’ kind of way.
    so i take this test and get out of their, and she asks me if i wanted to use the schools phone to call my mom, now i know, from talking to the special ed kids, (lots of them are friends of mine, out of coincidence) and they have hard families, lots of them don’t even have mothers, and i think she shouldn’t have said that, i nearly said, “no, i can’t call her, she’s dead.” but i didn’t because i don’t have the guts, so i walked out of there, feeling really angry that people would treat me like that, slump me with the support kids. my dad said i should have protested against taking the test, he said that might even cause me to get a lower test grade, my mom thinks that she will call some poeple and figure out who did it, so that she can get them in trouble for discrimination, lots of people do things like that to me, and usually, i can just move right past it, but this time,. its really burning. what do you think i should do? nothing rude please.
    i don’t have a 504, but i do have an iep, and they just call it special ed just the same, becuase my braille teacher works for a company run by special ed, and that doesn’t really help me with discrimination, or high school placement testing.
    I have all the things that you list, and i do know about my terrible spelling, S just one of those regular problems i have to work on, and it doesn’t help that i type faster than i should (about 80 wpm ranther than 50 wpm) and i have a really old keyboard, about as old as me, but thanks for reminding me, and being considerate, but in future, i read bad spelling better than anyone, because, i use it.

  46. I met a girl on a matchmaking service as I could use a diversion for my time while overseas as a deployed soldier in Iraq. She and I spoke for six months online before I was able to come home and finally meet her. We talked about everything- including past relationships. She mentioned how she had lived with an older guy for three years when she turned 18, but that she broke it off because she thought he had cheated on her, he didn’t treat her well, and he wasn’t willing to settle down and marry her. Once we met, she and I fell in love and everything was great for the first several months of our relationship- I even moved in with her after leaving the Army.

    She introduced me to many of her friends, one of them a guy who we will call Rick. Rick was very nice to me, always buying me drinks, and he even offered me a job if I wanted it as I had just left the service. My GF had started a restaurant, and Rick’s contracting company did the majority of the work on the building because she had asked him to do it. Rick even had an office upstairs in the building for his contracting company- right next to my GF’s. When my GFs restaurant opened its doors, my GF hired Rick’s sister to be his bookkeeper- and I was also introduced by my GF to Rick’s entire family when they came in for dinner (which was fairly often). Rick helped bartend for the opening night of the restaurant. My GF was best friends with Rick’s brother’s wife, and my GF would always run to Rick when there were problems with the restaurant. There were several times when I found them upstairs together- alone, talking about things with the door closed. I had my suspicions, so I asked my GF how she got to know Rick- and she said he was just a friend she had known through her best friend (the one who was married to Rick’s brother).

    It wasn’t until we had been actually dating for six months (but talking for over a year) that I discovered the truth about my GF and Rick, just by casual conversation when someone told me he had given her a cheap rate on the construction for the restaurant because they had dated in the past. As I’m sure you know by now, Rick was the guy my GF had lived with for three years. I confronted her about it, and her response was that yes, they had lived together and dated, but that things between them were over. I told her I didn’t want her to talk to him anymore- but it was an impossible request. His sister worked for her, he had a contract for the office upstairs (so he would almost be guaranteed to see her every day for the next two years) and her best friend was married to his brother, so it would be hard for her to see her best friend without occasionally seeing him as well.

    I started snooping around to satisfy my curiosity. Even though it had been a couple years since they dated, she still had BOXES of photos of them together on beaches in Mexico and Jamaica- a place she and I were planning to go. She had an “I Love You” video she made for him still on her computer. There were no photos of any other person she dated- just pictures of those two together. When I confronted her about this, she did throw the pictures away, but only after I told her about them.

    My GF reassured me that there was nothing going on, and I believed her. Rick told me the same thing when he found out I knew. I don’t think she wants to date him, but I think that for whatever reason she likes having him around. It has been five months since I learned of this, and I still can’t get over it- how inconsiderate she was to put me in this situation, how she deceived me by lying about it/not telling me about it (which I think is a HUGE deal), and how I never would have moved in with her if I had known the truth beforehand.

    Am I crazy to think that most people would want to leave their past behind instead of seeing it walk through the door everyday?

    I care about this girl, but this has been tearing me apart for five months and I don’t know how to get over it. I feel like if I had known about it sooner, I could’ve gotten over it- but the fact that she lied about it for so many months makes me not trust her. And here’s the kicker- before all this came out, she told me when she was younger she had an abortion- from someone else. She could tell me that (which I think is a MUCH bigger secret) but she didn’t want to tell me about Rick- doesn’t that sound fishy? I find myself looking for excuses to make her feel bad about dating him and lying about it- which I know is never a good sign.

    Any advice is welcome.

    Thanks.
    Now that I know this guy- and I’ve learned even more about his scumbaggery since first meeting him- it makes me wonder what kind of taste my GF had in men before meeting me…. It makes me feel like I could do better…especially since now I wonder what else she’s hiding from me (because I don’t feel like I can really trust her).

  47. I know this is long but if you’re a reg, TC or professional, please consider reading this even if you don’t want to respond. I honestly don’t know what to do with myself. Many regs here know that I state that I am a qualified mental health practitioner. That is true – I would never lie about a qualification I do not have or pretend to be somebody I am not.

    I do not currently work in mental health because of a traumatic even 12 months ago. I was set-up by an angry ex-partner when I found out he was having an affair and threatened to tell his ‘other woman’.

    In order to stop me, he got me sectioned. Very easy for him to do as he was a police sergeant. It took one call and I was dragged off for no reason. He told them I was about to commit suicide. I was not. He just wanted me out of the way to buy himself time to protect himself.

    I was treated ok by the police, but horrendously by hospital staff including members of the crisis team and ward staff. My level of distress grew tenfold every day because they kept tricking me over and over, saying I only needed to stay one night then I could go, Three days later they were still holding me. I was crying and begging to be freed but they told me I could not go. The section had been lifted before I even got to hospital for assessment (yes, really!). They had no holding powers on me and they kept telling me I was there voluntarily. I was not. To this day in my notes it says I was there on a voluntary basis yet I tried everything to try to get out.

    They had told me I was not able to see a psychiatrist for another 12 days as they only visited the ward every 2 weeks. Being a mental health practitioner, I knew this was rubbish and knew my legal rights and so I called a solicitor. She visited the ward twice and told the staff they were holding me illegally. She told them they must either let me go or section me. On both occasions, the staff told her they would call a psychiatrist and get them to assess me that same day with a view to allowing me to go home, The solicitor would leave the ward, and the staff would NOT call a psychiatrist to come and talk to me, In fact they did nothing but lie and abuse me. I did not eat one single thing for five days and had less than two tiny cups of water each day. In fact it was only after I left that I realised that at no point did they offer me food. I was exhausted, weak, angry and actually began to feel genuinely suicidal over the captivity and deceit. I looked for ways to end my life and found none. I could not believe what was happening to me – as if finding out the man I’d been with for two years had been cheating the whole time, not ON me with WITH ME. I was his ‘other woman’ but neither his partner nor myself had any inkling. He lived a double life that whole time and now I was having to face this trauma which went against EVERYTHING I’d been taught at university and every instict I had.

    After several days, I actually escaped from the psychiatric ward. I cannot tell you how because I do not want to give vulnerable people who NEED to be in hospital ideas on how to get out, but escape I did, and I jumped on the first bus I saw and fled to a train station and got many miles away. I hid there for two weeks, staying each night in a different hotel, paying for everything with cash so I could not be traced via bank statements.

    On three occasions I was returning to the hotels for the night after a day quite literally on the run and found police cars parked outside. I ran and hid until they left, convinced they had tracked me down and were waiting to transport me back to Hell behind locked doors.

    Eventually I returned home. The police turned up several minutes after I returned. It was a dumb cop probably too delirious from doughnut munching to care about his job. He found me eventually, hiding in my wardrobe. He didn’t even know the circumstances or that I was supposed to be in hospital. In fact he knew nothing except one of the neighbours had called the police after seeing me return. The police had apparently asked the neighbours to call 999 if any of them saw me, and one of them had. He didn’t know why he’d been sent. Somehow I managed to blag my way out of it and he left, clueless.

    Since then, I have had the biggest hatred for mental health services like you wouldn’t believe. My anger boils constantly because they have taken away my career – I can no longer work with other MH professionals because I trust NONE. My answers here on Yahoo Answers are my only way of exercising what I have learnt and my urge to help and advise others is as strong as it ever was.

    I feel traumatised by my experience. I will never and can never work with mental health services again, either as a patient or professional. My instinct to keep every tiny aspect of my life incredibly private is so strong that I barely talk to anybody now.

    What do I do? Please don’t suggest counse
    Sorry – counselling or anything to do with mental health. I am scared, angry and lost.
    DD, I’ll try to answer with not many characters!

    In the UK a psychiatrist MUST assess patient before discharge even if they are there voluntarily. Nobody can just walk out at any time. Legally if a vol. patient asks to leave, they need to call a psych during the day and ask them to come and eval with a view to discharge. Staff said they would call one, but then refused to do so. The solicitor would have been breaking the law trying to get me out without an eval.

    The unit was locked & staff on the door 24/7. I could not just walk out. Bars on windows, that kind of thing.

    I would have refused food regardless. I had not taken anything prior to admission & they do blood tests to check this. No meds/drugs/alcohol in system. ‘Inmates’ flocked to kitchen area at mealtimes but I was never called for a meal or told I had to eat. Nobody offered to bring toast to my room, for example. I refused to eat/sit with patients as I would be seen to be complying with their abuse & I was not a patient a
    I was not a patient and did not want a reputation of being amongst the others patients (I would not socialise in case of of them knew me!)

    Cannot go back and ‘get records’. Here you have to apply to see medical records and they only give you the very basic stuff that they don’t mind you reading. No way would info in there from that lock up be released to me.

    After I left I was hiding because I had escaped from a locked psychiatric ward. The police kept calling my mobile and leaving messages asking me to go back or meet them anywhere I wanted. I was on ‘red alert’ – what the cops call ‘high risk missing’ partly due to the state I was in when I left and partly due to absconding. It means police were out looking for me and could 136 me in the street and take me back if they found me (sectioning in a public place). I was not scared by the cop/ex. I knew he wouldn’t hurt me – we are not talking domestic violence. It’s abuse of power but he never ever physically hurt me in any way.
    DD, I’ll try to answer with not many characters!

    In the UK a psychiatrist MUST assess patient before discharge even if they are there voluntarily. Nobody can just walk out at any time. Legally if a vol. patient asks to leave, they need to call a psych during the day and ask them to come and eval with a view to discharge. Staff said they would call one, but then refused to do so. The solicitor would have been breaking the law trying to get me out without an eval.

    The unit was locked & staff on the door 24/7. I could not just walk out. Bars on windows, that kind of thing.

    I would have refused food regardless. I had not taken anything prior to admission & they do blood tests to check this. No meds/drugs/alcohol in system. ‘Inmates’ flocked to kitchen area at mealtimes but I was never called for a meal or told I had to eat. Nobody offered to bring toast to my room, for example. I refused to eat/sit with patients as I would be seen to be complying with their abuse & I was not a patient a

  48. my mom has attempted suicide again. I found Christ when I was expecting my son, I repented for my lifestyle and being unmarried. Five years later I started to date, sinned with two men I though each I was going to marry and had to repent so fully I know I will never do so again, by the grace of our the holy spirit, Jesus Christ and our holy God. My mom since she was young, she had a horrible, unmentionable childhood and was suicidal since younger, I thought she was doing better but has tried to drink and take pills about three to four times since I knew about her tries when I was 14. I feel bad I depended on her for a place to live and money with my son so I could raise him but I guess I thought because she had a lot of money it was okay and she was helping me financiallly so I could be there raise him to have love and follow Jesus and God. I have given her money, usually in a lump sum, but she was also generous. I tried to help her by being there for her also. I finallly moved out in the end of February again, this time to my own place, thanks to God. My son broke his arm and I had a problem with the first apartment but I did not ask her for money, but stayed with her a few days in between after she said she wanted us to. I also borrowed her car, to take my son to a bone doctor that was too far for my car, because she offered. I realize I should have said no. Anyway, she has other things going on, she can’t keep a job for some reason and she left one in December because her boss wasn’t nice or good and has been turned down a lot. She also has problems with most of our family members she says it is all our fault, because her three kids and family members never help her. I have tried to. I tell her I love her and Jesus and God loves her and she scoffs at me and tells me to go away. She is running out of money because she had about 15,000 since January but it is dwindling. So she said she was going to commit suicide and can’t take it (she says this a lot) but she had a will notarized last week and sent what was very like a suicde letter through email to my brother. That night I called 911 because she told me goodbye and tell my son to live a good life and she is sorry she wasn’t a good mother and we are all ungrateful and goodbye to everyone.

    I called 911 they took her to a hospital, and then a mental hospital for one day. She got out and told me and my brother to never contact her again. I thought she was mad, but hopefull she got past those dire feelings. She called her mom and cousin and said basically we made it up, she just sent that letter in case and she wouldn’t do anything to commit suicide. We were upset but relieved she was alive. Then she texted my uncle, goodbye the next day in a way where he was really worried so he called the police, they found her in the bathroom. She had slit her wrist. They said she had three minutes I am told, she was in ICU. Yesterday she was transferred to a regular room, I went to see her in ICU told her I loved her, Jesus and God lover her and we want her to feel better. She told me leave, get out, go away. I did. My 15 year old sister wanted to see her the next day. I went to support her and her dad, my stepfather before the divorce, and she asked to see my son after. I let her talk to him because she has done a lot for him, then she was really angry started yelling and being mean to me, so I left with him. She is angry with us, says it is the people around hers fault. They can’t tell us how she is now because she won’t let them by law, and is being rude. I am worried they will let her go, I don’t know what to do. I put it in the hands of God and pray for salvaiton in Jesus Christ to save her. I don’t know what else should be done

  49. my fiancee is such a stubborn guy, lovely, nice, devoted…but stubborn like…wow. He had a DWI and crashed his car like 3 years ago. Since then, he got a job, lost a job (cause it was a disreputable work place) and he has gone to court, which bumped DOWN his color for drug testing to once a month, instead of twice. If cooperative, he goes on unsupervised probation march 31. Well, he lost his job. He wouldnt call his PO nor call to see if his color was up. Everytime I asked him to call to see he would say “damnit, I know sarah! quit hounding me, I will do it. Quit pushing me, I hate that ” and he never does, the more I ask, the more pissed off he gets at me. I asked him to use my aunts phone and he was like “No, cause then they will never shut up” or he says” you know we can’t afford it, its 100$ at the hospital to get a drug test”. I try and get him off his butt to do something towards getting out of a rut and he just sits there and rather pretends it is not real..and when I tell him it wont go away he grits his teeth and scoffs going “ugh…I KNOW SARAH…shut up..” then he has this tendency to point the finger at me about being a messy person or something so I don’t have a halo around my head in that argument. Well, he had a warrant out cause of missed tests, turned himself in, went in front of a judge in a orange jumpsuit and shackles trying to reason and tell the judge he didn’t have a phone to contact nor money to do the tests, offered to be on a more frequent color rather than the 2 weeks jail time. Judge told him “well, couldnt you have used a pay phone, or mail a letter to your probation officer” he pauses five seconds and goes “well, I guess” then the judge says ” There is no legitamate reason why you failed to contact your PO for over…4 months.. So I am going to give you the 15 days cause I don’t think you would learn otherwise.” His mom was crying, was it bad that I was smiling???? I was mad, and equally like ” yeah, thats what you get for being stubborn ‘have it your way’ ” Anyway, when he gets out, if you were me, would you welcome him with open arms and a present (his Bday is Vday) or be pissed off….what would you do?

  50. I know this is long but if you’re a reg, TC or professional, please consider reading this even if you don’t want to respond. I honestly don’t know what to do with myself. Many regs here know that I state that I am a qualified mental health practitioner. That is true – I would never lie about a qualification I do not have or pretend to be somebody I am not.

    I do not currently work in mental health because of a traumatic even 12 months ago. I was set-up by an angry ex-partner when I found out he was having an affair and threatened to tell his ‘other woman’.

    In order to stop me, he got me sectioned. Very easy for him to do as he was a police sergeant. It took one call and I was dragged off for no reason. He told them I was about to commit suicide. I was not. He just wanted me out of the way to buy himself time to protect himself.

    I was treated ok by the police, but horrendously by hospital staff including members of the crisis team and ward staff. My level of distress grew tenfold every day because they kept tricking me over and over, saying I only needed to stay one night then I could go, Three days later they were still holding me. I was crying and begging to be freed but they told me I could not go. The section had been lifted before I even got to hospital for assessment (yes, really!). They had no holding powers on me and they kept telling me I was there voluntarily. I was not. To this day in my notes it says I was there on a voluntary basis yet I tried everything to try to get out.

    They had told me I was not able to see a psychiatrist for another 12 days as they only visited the ward every 2 weeks. Being a mental health practitioner, I knew this was rubbish and knew my legal rights and so I called a solicitor. She visited the ward twice and told the staff they were holding me illegally. She told them they must either let me go or section me. On both occasions, the staff told her they would call a psychiatrist and get them to assess me that same day with a view to allowing me to go home, The solicitor would leave the ward, and the staff would NOT call a psychiatrist to come and talk to me, In fact they did nothing but lie and abuse me. I did not eat one single thing for five days and had less than two tiny cups of water each day. In fact it was only after I left that I realised that at no point did they offer me food. I was exhausted, weak, angry and actually began to feel genuinely suicidal over the captivity and deceit. I looked for ways to end my life and found none. I could not believe what was happening to me – as if finding out the man I’d been with for two years had been cheating the whole time, not ON me with WITH ME. I was his ‘other woman’ but neither his partner nor myself had any inkling. He lived a double life that whole time and now I was having to face this trauma which went against EVERYTHING I’d been taught at university and every instict I had.

    After several days, I actually escaped from the psychiatric ward. I cannot tell you how because I do not want to give vulnerable people who NEED to be in hospital ideas on how to get out, but escape I did, and I jumped on the first bus I saw and fled to a train station and got many miles away. I hid there for two weeks, staying each night in a different hotel, paying for everything with cash so I could not be traced via bank statements.

    On three occasions I was returning to the hotels for the night after a day quite literally on the run and found police cars parked outside. I ran and hid until they left, convinced they had tracked me down and were waiting to transport me back to Hell behind locked doors.

    Eventually I returned home. The police turned up several minutes after I returned. It was a dumb cop probably too delirious from doughnut munching to care about his job. He found me eventually, hiding in my wardrobe. He didn’t even know the circumstances or that I was supposed to be in hospital. In fact he knew nothing except one of the neighbours had called the police after seeing me return. The police had apparently asked the neighbours to call 999 if any of them saw me, and one of them had. He didn’t know why he’d been sent. Somehow I managed to blag my way out of it and he left, clueless.

    Since then, I have had the biggest hatred for mental health services like you wouldn’t believe. My anger boils constantly because they have taken away my career – I can no longer work with other MH professionals because I trust NONE. My answers here on Yahoo Answers are my only way of exercising what I have learnt and my urge to help and advise others is as strong as it ever was.

    I feel traumatised by my experience. I will never and can never work with mental health services again, either as a patient or professional. My instinct to keep every tiny aspect of my life incredibly private is so strong that I barely talk to anybody now.

    What do I do? Please don’t suggest counse
    Sorry – counselling or anything to do with mental health. I am scared, angry and lost.
    DD, I’ll try to answer with not many characters!

    In the UK a psychiatrist MUST assess patient before discharge even if they are there voluntarily. Nobody can just walk out at any time. Legally if a vol. patient asks to leave, they need to call a psych during the day and ask them to come and eval with a view to discharge. Staff said they would call one, but then refused to do so. The solicitor would have been breaking the law trying to get me out without an eval.

    The unit was locked & staff on the door 24/7. I could not just walk out. Bars on windows, that kind of thing.

    I would have refused food regardless. I had not taken anything prior to admission & they do blood tests to check this. No meds/drugs/alcohol in system. ‘Inmates’ flocked to kitchen area at mealtimes but I was never called for a meal or told I had to eat. Nobody offered to bring toast to my room, for example. I refused to eat/sit with patients as I would be seen to be complying with their abuse & I was not a patient a
    I was not a patient and did not want a reputation of being amongst the others patients (I would not socialise in case of of them knew me!)

    Cannot go back and ‘get records’. Here you have to apply to see medical records and they only give you the very basic stuff that they don’t mind you reading. No way would info in there from that lock up be released to me.

    After I left I was hiding because I had escaped from a locked psychiatric ward. The police kept calling my mobile and leaving messages asking me to go back or meet them anywhere I wanted. I was on ‘red alert’ – what the cops call ‘high risk missing’ partly due to the state I was in when I left and partly due to absconding. It means police were out looking for me and could 136 me in the street and take me back if they found me (sectioning in a public place). I was not scared by the cop/ex. I knew he wouldn’t hurt me – we are not talking domestic violence. It’s abuse of power but he never ever physically hurt me in any way.
    DD, I’ll try to answer with not many characters!

    In the UK a psychiatrist MUST assess patient before discharge even if they are there voluntarily. Nobody can just walk out at any time. Legally if a vol. patient asks to leave, they need to call a psych during the day and ask them to come and eval with a view to discharge. Staff said they would call one, but then refused to do so. The solicitor would have been breaking the law trying to get me out without an eval.

    The unit was locked & staff on the door 24/7. I could not just walk out. Bars on windows, that kind of thing.

    I would have refused food regardless. I had not taken anything prior to admission & they do blood tests to check this. No meds/drugs/alcohol in system. ‘Inmates’ flocked to kitchen area at mealtimes but I was never called for a meal or told I had to eat. Nobody offered to bring toast to my room, for example. I refused to eat/sit with patients as I would be seen to be complying with their abuse & I was not a patient a

  51. This is imporatant to me, please read :S

    my fiancee is such a stubborn guy, lovely, nice, devoted…but stubborn like…wow. He had a DWI and crashed his car like 3 years ago. Since then, he got a job, lost a job (cause it was a disreputable work place) and he has gone to court, which bumped DOWN his color for drug testing to once a month, instead of twice. If cooperative, he goes on unsupervised probation march 31. Well, he lost his job. He wouldnt call his PO nor call to see if his color was up. Everytime I asked him to call to see he would say “damnit, I know sarah! quit hounding me, I will do it. Quit pushing me, I hate that ” and he never does, the more I ask, the more pissed off he gets at me. I asked him to use my aunts phone and he was like “No, cause then they will never shut up” or he says” you know we can’t afford it, its 100$ at the hospital to get a drug test”. I try and get him off his butt to do something towards getting out of a rut and he just sits there and rather pretends it is not real..and when I tell him it wont go away he grits his teeth and scoffs going “ugh…I KNOW SARAH…shut up..” then he has this tendency to point the finger at me about being a messy person or something so I don’t have a halo around my head in that argument. Well, he had a warrant out cause of missed tests, turned himself in, went in front of a judge in a orange jumpsuit and shackles trying to reason and tell the judge he didn’t have a phone to contact nor money to do the tests, offered to be on a more frequent color rather than the 2 weeks jail time. Judge told him “well, couldnt you have used a pay phone, or mail a letter to your probation officer” he pauses five seconds and goes “well, I guess” then the judge says ” There is no legitamate reason why you failed to contact your PO for over…4 months.. So I am going to give you the 15 days cause I don’t think you would learn otherwise.” His mom was crying, was it bad that I was smiling???? I was mad, and equally like ” yeah, thats what you get for being stubborn ‘have it your way’ ” Anyway, when he gets out, if you were me, would you welcome him with open arms and a present (his Bday is Vday) or be pissed off….what would you do?

  52. I know this is long but if you’re a reg, TC or professional, please consider reading this even if you don’t want to respond. I honestly don’t know what to do with myself. Many regs here know that I state that I am a qualified mental health practitioner. That is true – I would never lie about a qualification I do not have or pretend to be somebody I am not.

    I do not currently work in mental health because of a traumatic even 12 months ago. I was set-up by an angry ex-partner when I found out he was having an affair and threatened to tell his ‘other woman’.

    In order to stop me, he got me sectioned. Very easy for him to do as he was a police sergeant. It took one call and I was dragged off for no reason. He told them I was about to commit suicide. I was not. He just wanted me out of the way to buy himself time to protect himself.

    I was treated ok by the police, but horrendously by hospital staff including members of the crisis team and ward staff. My level of distress grew tenfold every day because they kept tricking me over and over, saying I only needed to stay one night then I could go, Three days later they were still holding me. I was crying and begging to be freed but they told me I could not go. The section had been lifted before I even got to hospital for assessment (yes, really!). They had no holding powers on me and they kept telling me I was there voluntarily. I was not. To this day in my notes it says I was there on a voluntary basis yet I tried everything to try to get out.

    They had told me I was not able to see a psychiatrist for another 12 days as they only visited the ward every 2 weeks. Being a mental health practitioner, I knew this was rubbish and knew my legal rights and so I called a solicitor. She visited the ward twice and told the staff they were holding me illegally. She told them they must either let me go or section me. On both occasions, the staff told her they would call a psychiatrist and get them to assess me that same day with a view to allowing me to go home, The solicitor would leave the ward, and the staff would NOT call a psychiatrist to come and talk to me, In fact they did nothing but lie and abuse me. I did not eat one single thing for five days and had less than two tiny cups of water each day. In fact it was only after I left that I realised that at no point did they offer me food. I was exhausted, weak, angry and actually began to feel genuinely suicidal over the captivity and deceit. I looked for ways to end my life and found none. I could not believe what was happening to me – as if finding out the man I’d been with for two years had been cheating the whole time, not ON me with WITH ME. I was his ‘other woman’ but neither his partner nor myself had any inkling. He lived a double life that whole time and now I was having to face this trauma which went against EVERYTHING I’d been taught at university and every instict I had.

    After several days, I actually escaped from the psychiatric ward. I cannot tell you how because I do not want to give vulnerable people who NEED to be in hospital ideas on how to get out, but escape I did, and I jumped on the first bus I saw and fled to a train station and got many miles away. I hid there for two weeks, staying each night in a different hotel, paying for everything with cash so I could not be traced via bank statements.

    On three occasions I was returning to the hotels for the night after a day quite literally on the run and found police cars parked outside. I ran and hid until they left, convinced they had tracked me down and were waiting to transport me back to Hell behind locked doors.

    Eventually I returned home. The police turned up several minutes after I returned. It was a dumb cop probably too delirious from doughnut munching to care about his job. He found me eventually, hiding in my wardrobe. He didn’t even know the circumstances or that I was supposed to be in hospital. In fact he knew nothing except one of the neighbours had called the police after seeing me return. The police had apparently asked the neighbours to call 999 if any of them saw me, and one of them had. He didn’t know why he’d been sent. Somehow I managed to blag my way out of it and he left, clueless.

    Since then, I have had the biggest hatred for mental health services like you wouldn’t believe. My anger boils constantly because they have taken away my career – I can no longer work with other MH professionals because I trust NONE. My answers here on Yahoo Answers are my only way of exercising what I have learnt and my urge to help and advise others is as strong as it ever was.

    I feel traumatised by my experience. I will never and can never work with mental health services again, either as a patient or professional. My instinct to keep every tiny aspect of my life incredibly private is so strong that I barely talk to anybody now.

    What do I do? Please don’t suggest counse
    Sorry – counselling or anything to do with mental health. I am scared, angry and lost.
    DD, I’ll try to answer with not many characters!

    In the UK a psychiatrist MUST assess patient before discharge even if they are there voluntarily. Nobody can just walk out at any time. Legally if a vol. patient asks to leave, they need to call a psych during the day and ask them to come and eval with a view to discharge. Staff said they would call one, but then refused to do so. The solicitor would have been breaking the law trying to get me out without an eval.

    The unit was locked & staff on the door 24/7. I could not just walk out. Bars on windows, that kind of thing.

    I would have refused food regardless. I had not taken anything prior to admission & they do blood tests to check this. No meds/drugs/alcohol in system. ‘Inmates’ flocked to kitchen area at mealtimes but I was never called for a meal or told I had to eat. Nobody offered to bring toast to my room, for example. I refused to eat/sit with patients as I would be seen to be complying with their abuse & I was not a patient a
    I was not a patient and did not want a reputation of being amongst the others patients (I would not socialise in case of of them knew me!)

    Cannot go back and ‘get records’. Here you have to apply to see medical records and they only give you the very basic stuff that they don’t mind you reading. No way would info in there from that lock up be released to me.

    After I left I was hiding because I had escaped from a locked psychiatric ward. The police kept calling my mobile and leaving messages asking me to go back or meet them anywhere I wanted. I was on ‘red alert’ – what the cops call ‘high risk missing’ partly due to the state I was in when I left and partly due to absconding. It means police were out looking for me and could 136 me in the street and take me back if they found me (sectioning in a public place). I was not scared by the cop/ex. I knew he wouldn’t hurt me – we are not talking domestic violence. It’s abuse of power but he never ever physically hurt me in any way.
    DD, I’ll try to answer with not many characters!

    In the UK a psychiatrist MUST assess patient before discharge even if they are there voluntarily. Nobody can just walk out at any time. Legally if a vol. patient asks to leave, they need to call a psych during the day and ask them to come and eval with a view to discharge. Staff said they would call one, but then refused to do so. The solicitor would have been breaking the law trying to get me out without an eval.

    The unit was locked & staff on the door 24/7. I could not just walk out. Bars on windows, that kind of thing.

    I would have refused food regardless. I had not taken anything prior to admission & they do blood tests to check this. No meds/drugs/alcohol in system. ‘Inmates’ flocked to kitchen area at mealtimes but I was never called for a meal or told I had to eat. Nobody offered to bring toast to my room, for example. I refused to eat/sit with patients as I would be seen to be complying with their abuse & I was not a patient a

  53. i am nearly blinde, not completely but nearly. i just went to my gonna be high school to take the placement testing with all the other eighth graders. sinc e i am nearly blinde, my braille teacher signed me up to get a large print test booklit, no big deal right? well they all turned it into something bigger than it was, very insulting. so i had to go and tell some lady that i needed a large print test booklit, so i said “i’ve been signed up to use a large print test booklit”
    the lady goes. “you mean you need special accomidations.”
    “no, just a large print test booklit.”
    “no that would be considered special accomidations, come with me” she made me stand off to the side, with all the kids in special ed, and yes, i am in special ed, but TO READ BRAILLE not becuase i can’t comprehend the stuff they through at me, i am in all the gifted classes, and i’m planning on being advanced placement, in everything in high school.
    so i am standing their with all the support kids, and i ask “am i going to be in the room i was assigned too?” because that was really important to me, not to be seperated from my friend, who i was getting a ride home with, (we have the same last initial, so we were in the same room)
    and she said “we’ll see”
    she looked for my name on her list, and couldn’t find it, i told her “thats because i am not supposed to be here, i am supposed to be in s229.”
    she goes in a high pitched talking slow, almost parent ease voice “don’t worry, we’ll get you tested, just sit down iin here.”
    “but i am not supposed to be in here.”
    “yeah, i know, we’ll figure it out” same voice.
    then they would not let me fill out the forms myself, there was one wehre we were supposed to mark in all our grades this year in our classes, i told the lady that i get a’s in everything. and she was all “good job, you must be smart” then they asked if we were in excelerated classes, she almost filled in no, before i told her that i was in excelerated classes. they locked me in a room, with the lady, to mark the answers for me. that is what they do for the all blind kids, i told them over and over again, that i don’t need that, i can see. really i can. but nope, it was really offending, how they forced me to do this stuff. so i answer the first test, and the lady, makes me give her a high five, and she tells me “good job,” in the high pitched parent ease voice, and i give her a weak, please don’t talk to me in that tone, voice. this happened three more times with the three tests, and by this time, i was feeling very offended that they assumed that i was not smart enough to be in excelerated, and that i was in the room for other reasons, by the time i was in sixth grade, i was making accomadations for myself by myself, that they trained me to do in grade school, so all of this was really offending.
    then i finished, the science portion, and she said, “congradulations, your done, you can go home now.” i look at her like she’s the one who’s being treated meantly ill, and say, “no, i am staying for the writing portion” which is what you have to stay for to get into AP writing, which of coarse is very important to me, they just assumed i wasn’t going to take it, they didn’t even offer it to me. which is offending, but then the other lady, that made come in there at all, said to me, “you know, you don’t have to take it.” in the parent ease voice
    i say, “i know, but i want to be in A P English.” and she rolls her eyes at me and says, “if you want too.” in a ‘waisting your time’ kind of way.
    so i take this test and get out of their, and she asks me if i wanted to use the schools phone to call my mom, now i know, from talking to the special ed kids, (lots of them are friends of mine, out of coincidence) and they have hard families, lots of them don’t even have mothers, and i think she shouldn’t have said that, i nearly said, “no, i can’t call her, she’s dead.” but i didn’t because i don’t have the guts, so i walked out of there, feeling really angry that people would treat me like that, slump me with the support kids. my dad said i should have protested against taking the test, he said that might even cause me to get a lower test grade, my mom thinks that she will call some poeple and figure out who did it, so that she can get them in trouble for discrimination, lots of people do things like that to me, and usually, i can just move right past it, but this time,. its really burning. what do you think i should do? nothing rude please.
    i don’t have a 504, but i do have an iep, and they just call it special ed just the same, becuase my braille teacher works for a company run by special ed, and that doesn’t really help me with discrimination, or high school placement testing.
    I have all the things that you list, and i do know about my terrible spelling, S just one of those regular problems i have to work on, and it doesn’t help that i type faster than i should (about 80 wpm ranther than 50 wpm) and i have a really old keyboard, about as old as me, but thanks for reminding me, and being considerate, but in future, i read bad spelling better than anyone, because, i use it.

  54. i am nearly blinde, not completely but nearly. i just went to my gonna be high school to take the placement testing with all the other eighth graders. sinc e i am nearly blinde, my braille teacher signed me up to get a large print test booklit, no big deal right? well they all turned it into something bigger than it was, very insulting. so i had to go and tell some lady that i needed a large print test booklit, so i said “i’ve been signed up to use a large print test booklit”
    the lady goes. “you mean you need special accomidations.”
    “no, just a large print test booklit.”
    “no that would be considered special accomidations, come with me” she made me stand off to the side, with all the kids in special ed, and yes, i am in special ed, but TO READ BRAILLE not becuase i can’t comprehend the stuff they through at me, i am in all the gifted classes, and i’m planning on being advanced placement, in everything in high school.
    so i am standing their with all the support kids, and i ask “am i going to be in the room i was assigned too?” because that was really important to me, not to be seperated from my friend, who i was getting a ride home with, (we have the same last initial, so we were in the same room)
    and she said “we’ll see”
    she looked for my name on her list, and couldn’t find it, i told her “thats because i am not supposed to be here, i am supposed to be in s229.”
    she goes in a high pitched talking slow, almost parent ease voice “don’t worry, we’ll get you tested, just sit down iin here.”
    “but i am not supposed to be in here.”
    “yeah, i know, we’ll figure it out” same voice.
    then they would not let me fill out the forms myself, there was one wehre we were supposed to mark in all our grades this year in our classes, i told the lady that i get a’s in everything. and she was all “good job, you must be smart” then they asked if we were in excelerated classes, she almost filled in no, before i told her that i was in excelerated classes. they locked me in a room, with the lady, to mark the answers for me. that is what they do for the all blind kids, i told them over and over again, that i don’t need that, i can see. really i can. but nope, it was really offending, how they forced me to do this stuff. so i answer the first test, and the lady, makes me give her a high five, and she tells me “good job,” in the high pitched parent ease voice, and i give her a weak, please don’t talk to me in that tone, voice. this happened three more times with the three tests, and by this time, i was feeling very offended that they assumed that i was not smart enough to be in excelerated, and that i was in the room for other reasons, by the time i was in sixth grade, i was making accomadations for myself by myself, that they trained me to do in grade school, so all of this was really offending.
    then i finished, the science portion, and she said, “congradulations, your done, you can go home now.” i look at her like she’s the one who’s being treated meantly ill, and say, “no, i am staying for the writing portion” which is what you have to stay for to get into AP writing, which of coarse is very important to me, they just assumed i wasn’t going to take it, they didn’t even offer it to me. which is offending, but then the other lady, that made come in there at all, said to me, “you know, you don’t have to take it.” in the parent ease voice
    i say, “i know, but i want to be in A P English.” and she rolls her eyes at me and says, “if you want too.” in a ‘waisting your time’ kind of way.
    so i take this test and get out of their, and she asks me if i wanted to use the schools phone to call my mom, now i know, from talking to the special ed kids, (lots of them are friends of mine, out of coincidence) and they have hard families, lots of them don’t even have mothers, and i think she shouldn’t have said that, i nearly said, “no, i can’t call her, she’s dead.” but i didn’t because i don’t have the guts, so i walked out of there, feeling really angry that people would treat me like that, slump me with the support kids. my dad said i should have protested against taking the test, he said that might even cause me to get a lower test grade, my mom thinks that she will call some poeple and figure out who did it, so that she can get them in trouble for discrimination, lots of people do things like that to me, and usually, i can just move right past it, but this time,. its really burning. what do you think i should do? nothing rude please.
    i don’t have a 504, but i do have an iep, and they just call it special ed just the same, becuase my braille teacher works for a company run by special ed, and that doesn’t really help me with discrimination, or high school placement testing.
    I have all the things that you list, and i do know about my terrible spelling, S just one of those regular problems i have to work on, and it doesn’t help that i type faster than i should (about 80 wpm ranther than 50 wpm) and i have a really old keyboard, about as old as me, but thanks for reminding me, and being considerate, but in future, i read bad spelling better than anyone, because, i use it.

  55. I know this is long but if you’re a reg, TC or professional, please consider reading this even if you don’t want to respond. I honestly don’t know what to do with myself. Many regs here know that I state that I am a qualified mental health practitioner. That is true – I would never lie about a qualification I do not have or pretend to be somebody I am not.

    I do not currently work in mental health because of a traumatic even 12 months ago. I was set-up by an angry ex-partner when I found out he was having an affair and threatened to tell his ‘other woman’.

    In order to stop me, he got me sectioned. Very easy for him to do as he was a police sergeant. It took one call and I was dragged off for no reason. He told them I was about to commit suicide. I was not. He just wanted me out of the way to buy himself time to protect himself.

    I was treated ok by the police, but horrendously by hospital staff including members of the crisis team and ward staff. My level of distress grew tenfold every day because they kept tricking me over and over, saying I only needed to stay one night then I could go, Three days later they were still holding me. I was crying and begging to be freed but they told me I could not go. The section had been lifted before I even got to hospital for assessment (yes, really!). They had no holding powers on me and they kept telling me I was there voluntarily. I was not. To this day in my notes it says I was there on a voluntary basis yet I tried everything to try to get out.

    They had told me I was not able to see a psychiatrist for another 12 days as they only visited the ward every 2 weeks. Being a mental health practitioner, I knew this was rubbish and knew my legal rights and so I called a solicitor. She visited the ward twice and told the staff they were holding me illegally. She told them they must either let me go or section me. On both occasions, the staff told her they would call a psychiatrist and get them to assess me that same day with a view to allowing me to go home, The solicitor would leave the ward, and the staff would NOT call a psychiatrist to come and talk to me, In fact they did nothing but lie and abuse me. I did not eat one single thing for five days and had less than two tiny cups of water each day. In fact it was only after I left that I realised that at no point did they offer me food. I was exhausted, weak, angry and actually began to feel genuinely suicidal over the captivity and deceit. I looked for ways to end my life and found none. I could not believe what was happening to me – as if finding out the man I’d been with for two years had been cheating the whole time, not ON me with WITH ME. I was his ‘other woman’ but neither his partner nor myself had any inkling. He lived a double life that whole time and now I was having to face this trauma which went against EVERYTHING I’d been taught at university and every instict I had.

    After several days, I actually escaped from the psychiatric ward. I cannot tell you how because I do not want to give vulnerable people who NEED to be in hospital ideas on how to get out, but escape I did, and I jumped on the first bus I saw and fled to a train station and got many miles away. I hid there for two weeks, staying each night in a different hotel, paying for everything with cash so I could not be traced via bank statements.

    On three occasions I was returning to the hotels for the night after a day quite literally on the run and found police cars parked outside. I ran and hid until they left, convinced they had tracked me down and were waiting to transport me back to Hell behind locked doors.

    Eventually I returned home. The police turned up several minutes after I returned. It was a dumb cop probably too delirious from doughnut munching to care about his job. He found me eventually, hiding in my wardrobe. He didn’t even know the circumstances or that I was supposed to be in hospital. In fact he knew nothing except one of the neighbours had called the police after seeing me return. The police had apparently asked the neighbours to call 999 if any of them saw me, and one of them had. He didn’t know why he’d been sent. Somehow I managed to blag my way out of it and he left, clueless.

    Since then, I have had the biggest hatred for mental health services like you wouldn’t believe. My anger boils constantly because they have taken away my career – I can no longer work with other MH professionals because I trust NONE. My answers here on Yahoo Answers are my only way of exercising what I have learnt and my urge to help and advise others is as strong as it ever was.

    I feel traumatised by my experience. I will never and can never work with mental health services again, either as a patient or professional. My instinct to keep every tiny aspect of my life incredibly private is so strong that I barely talk to anybody now.

    What do I do? Please don’t suggest counse
    Sorry – counselling or anything to do with mental health. I am scared, angry and lost.
    DD, I’ll try to answer with not many characters!

    In the UK a psychiatrist MUST assess patient before discharge even if they are there voluntarily. Nobody can just walk out at any time. Legally if a vol. patient asks to leave, they need to call a psych during the day and ask them to come and eval with a view to discharge. Staff said they would call one, but then refused to do so. The solicitor would have been breaking the law trying to get me out without an eval.

    The unit was locked & staff on the door 24/7. I could not just walk out. Bars on windows, that kind of thing.

    I would have refused food regardless. I had not taken anything prior to admission & they do blood tests to check this. No meds/drugs/alcohol in system. ‘Inmates’ flocked to kitchen area at mealtimes but I was never called for a meal or told I had to eat. Nobody offered to bring toast to my room, for example. I refused to eat/sit with patients as I would be seen to be complying with their abuse & I was not a patient a
    I was not a patient and did not want a reputation of being amongst the others patients (I would not socialise in case of of them knew me!)

    Cannot go back and ‘get records’. Here you have to apply to see medical records and they only give you the very basic stuff that they don’t mind you reading. No way would info in there from that lock up be released to me.

    After I left I was hiding because I had escaped from a locked psychiatric ward. The police kept calling my mobile and leaving messages asking me to go back or meet them anywhere I wanted. I was on ‘red alert’ – what the cops call ‘high risk missing’ partly due to the state I was in when I left and partly due to absconding. It means police were out looking for me and could 136 me in the street and take me back if they found me (sectioning in a public place). I was not scared by the cop/ex. I knew he wouldn’t hurt me – we are not talking domestic violence. It’s abuse of power but he never ever physically hurt me in any way.
    DD, I’ll try to answer with not many characters!

    In the UK a psychiatrist MUST assess patient before discharge even if they are there voluntarily. Nobody can just walk out at any time. Legally if a vol. patient asks to leave, they need to call a psych during the day and ask them to come and eval with a view to discharge. Staff said they would call one, but then refused to do so. The solicitor would have been breaking the law trying to get me out without an eval.

    The unit was locked & staff on the door 24/7. I could not just walk out. Bars on windows, that kind of thing.

    I would have refused food regardless. I had not taken anything prior to admission & they do blood tests to check this. No meds/drugs/alcohol in system. ‘Inmates’ flocked to kitchen area at mealtimes but I was never called for a meal or told I had to eat. Nobody offered to bring toast to my room, for example. I refused to eat/sit with patients as I would be seen to be complying with their abuse & I was not a patient a

  56. I met a girl on a matchmaking service as I could use a diversion for my time while overseas as a deployed soldier in Iraq. She and I spoke for six months online before I was able to come home and finally meet her. We talked about everything- including past relationships. She mentioned how she had lived with an older guy for three years when she turned 18, but that she broke it off because she thought he had cheated on her, he didn’t treat her well, and he wasn’t willing to settle down and marry her. Once we met, she and I fell in love and everything was great for the first several months of our relationship- I even moved in with her after leaving the Army.

    She introduced me to many of her friends, one of them a guy who we will call Rick. Rick was very nice to me, always buying me drinks, and he even offered me a job if I wanted it as I had just left the service. My GF had started a restaurant, and Rick’s contracting company did the majority of the work on the building because she had asked him to do it. Rick even had an office upstairs in the building for his contracting company- right next to my GF’s. When my GFs restaurant opened its doors, my GF hired Rick’s sister to be his bookkeeper- and I was also introduced by my GF to Rick’s entire family when they came in for dinner (which was fairly often). Rick helped bartend for the opening night of the restaurant. My GF was best friends with Rick’s brother’s wife, and my GF would always run to Rick when there were problems with the restaurant. There were several times when I found them upstairs together- alone, talking about things with the door closed. I had my suspicions, so I asked my GF how she got to know Rick- and she said he was just a friend she had known through her best friend (the one who was married to Rick’s brother).

    It wasn’t until we had been actually dating for six months (but talking for over a year) that I discovered the truth about my GF and Rick, just by casual conversation when someone told me he had given her a cheap rate on the construction for the restaurant because they had dated in the past. As I’m sure you know by now, Rick was the guy my GF had lived with for three years. I confronted her about it, and her response was that yes, they had lived together and dated, but that things between them were over. I told her I didn’t want her to talk to him anymore- but it was an impossible request. His sister worked for her, he had a contract for the office upstairs (so he would almost be guaranteed to see her every day for the next two years) and her best friend was married to his brother, so it would be hard for her to see her best friend without occasionally seeing him as well.

    I started snooping around to satisfy my curiosity. Even though it had been a couple years since they dated, she still had BOXES of photos of them together on beaches in Mexico and Jamaica- a place she and I were planning to go. She had an “I Love You” video she made for him still on her computer. There were no photos of any other person she dated- just pictures of those two together. When I confronted her about this, she did throw the pictures away, but only after I told her about them.

    My GF reassured me that there was nothing going on, and I believed her. Rick told me the same thing when he found out I knew. I don’t think she wants to date him, but I think that for whatever reason she likes having him around. It has been five months since I learned of this, and I still can’t get over it- how inconsiderate she was to put me in this situation, how she deceived me by lying about it/not telling me about it

  57. my mom has attempted suicide again. I found Christ when I was expecting my son, I repented for my lifestyle and being unmarried. Five years later I started to date, sinned with two men I though each I was going to marry and had to repent so fully I know I will never do so again, by the grace of our the holy spirit, Jesus Christ and our holy God. My mom since she was young, she had a horrible, unmentionable childhood and was suicidal since younger, I thought she was doing better but has tried to drink and take pills about three to four times since I knew about her tries when I was 14. I feel bad I depended on her for a place to live and money with my son so I could raise him but I guess I thought because she had a lot of money it was okay and she was helping me financiallly so I could be there raise him to have love and follow Jesus and God. I have given her money, usually in a lump sum, but she was also generous. I tried to help her by being there for her also. I finallly moved out in the end of February again, this time to my own place, thanks to God. My son broke his arm and I had a problem with the first apartment but I did not ask her for money, but stayed with her a few days in between after she said she wanted us to. I also borrowed her car, to take my son to a bone doctor that was too far for my car, because she offered. I realize I should have said no. Anyway, she has other things going on, she can’t keep a job for some reason and she left one in December because her boss wasn’t nice or good and has been turned down a lot. She also has problems with most of our family members she says it is all our fault, because her three kids and family members never help her. I have tried to. I tell her I love her and Jesus and God loves her and she scoffs at me and tells me to go away. She is running out of money because she had about 15,000 since January but it is dwindling. So she said she was going to commit suicide and can’t take it (she says this a lot) but she had a will notarized last week and sent what was very like a suicde letter through email to my brother. That night I called 911 because she told me goodbye and tell my son to live a good life and she is sorry she wasn’t a good mother and we are all ungrateful and goodbye to everyone.

    I called 911 they took her to a hospital, and then a mental hospital for one day. She got out and told me and my brother to never contact her again. I thought she was mad, but hopefull she got past those dire feelings. She called her mom and cousin and said basically we made it up, she just sent that letter in case and she wouldn’t do anything to commit suicide. We were upset but relieved she was alive. Then she texted my uncle, goodbye the next day in a way where he was really worried so he called the police, they found her in the bathroom. She had slit her wrist. They said she had three minutes I am told, she was in ICU. Yesterday she was transferred to a regular room, I went to see her in ICU told her I loved her, Jesus and God lover her and we want her to feel better. She told me leave, get out, go away. I did. My 15 year old sister wanted to see her the next day. I went to support her and her dad, my stepfather before the divorce, and she asked to see my son after. I let her talk to him because she has done a lot for him, then she was really angry started yelling and being mean to me, so I left with him. She is angry with us, says it is the people around hers fault. They can’t tell us how she is now because she won’t let them by law, and is being rude. I am worried they will let her go, I don’t know what to do. I put it in the hands of God and pray for salvaiton in Jesus Christ to save her. I don’t know what else should be done

  58. I know this is long but if you’re a reg, TC or professional, please consider reading this even if you don’t want to respond. I honestly don’t know what to do with myself. Many regs here know that I state that I am a qualified mental health practitioner. That is true – I would never lie about a qualification I do not have or pretend to be somebody I am not.

    I do not currently work in mental health because of a traumatic even 12 months ago. I was set-up by an angry ex-partner when I found out he was having an affair and threatened to tell his ‘other woman’.

    In order to stop me, he got me sectioned. Very easy for him to do as he was a police sergeant. It took one call and I was dragged off for no reason. He told them I was about to commit suicide. I was not. He just wanted me out of the way to buy himself time to protect himself.

    I was treated ok by the police, but horrendously by hospital staff including members of the crisis team and ward staff. My level of distress grew tenfold every day because they kept tricking me over and over, saying I only needed to stay one night then I could go, Three days later they were still holding me. I was crying and begging to be freed but they told me I could not go. The section had been lifted before I even got to hospital for assessment (yes, really!). They had no holding powers on me and they kept telling me I was there voluntarily. I was not. To this day in my notes it says I was there on a voluntary basis yet I tried everything to try to get out.

    They had told me I was not able to see a psychiatrist for another 12 days as they only visited the ward every 2 weeks. Being a mental health practitioner, I knew this was rubbish and knew my legal rights and so I called a solicitor. She visited the ward twice and told the staff they were holding me illegally. She told them they must either let me go or section me. On both occasions, the staff told her they would call a psychiatrist and get them to assess me that same day with a view to allowing me to go home, The solicitor would leave the ward, and the staff would NOT call a psychiatrist to come and talk to me, In fact they did nothing but lie and abuse me. I did not eat one single thing for five days and had less than two tiny cups of water each day. In fact it was only after I left that I realised that at no point did they offer me food. I was exhausted, weak, angry and actually began to feel genuinely suicidal over the captivity and deceit. I looked for ways to end my life and found none. I could not believe what was happening to me – as if finding out the man I’d been with for two years had been cheating the whole time, not ON me with WITH ME. I was his ‘other woman’ but neither his partner nor myself had any inkling. He lived a double life that whole time and now I was having to face this trauma which went against EVERYTHING I’d been taught at university and every instict I had.

    After several days, I actually escaped from the psychiatric ward. I cannot tell you how because I do not want to give vulnerable people who NEED to be in hospital ideas on how to get out, but escape I did, and I jumped on the first bus I saw and fled to a train station and got many miles away. I hid there for two weeks, staying each night in a different hotel, paying for everything with cash so I could not be traced via bank statements.

    On three occasions I was returning to the hotels for the night after a day quite literally on the run and found police cars parked outside. I ran and hid until they left, convinced they had tracked me down and were waiting to transport me back to Hell behind locked doors.

    Eventually I returned home. The police turned up several minutes after I returned. It was a dumb cop probably too delirious from doughnut munching to care about his job. He found me eventually, hiding in my wardrobe. He didn’t even know the circumstances or that I was supposed to be in hospital. In fact he knew nothing except one of the neighbours had called the police after seeing me return. The police had apparently asked the neighbours to call 999 if any of them saw me, and one of them had. He didn’t know why he’d been sent. Somehow I managed to blag my way out of it and he left, clueless.

    Since then, I have had the biggest hatred for mental health services like you wouldn’t believe. My anger boils constantly because they have taken away my career – I can no longer work with other MH professionals because I trust NONE. My answers here on Yahoo Answers are my only way of exercising what I have learnt and my urge to help and advise others is as strong as it ever was.

    I feel traumatised by my experience. I will never and can never work with mental health services again, either as a patient or professional. My instinct to keep every tiny aspect of my life incredibly private is so strong that I barely talk to anybody now.

    What do I do? Please don’t suggest counse
    Sorry – counselling or anything to do with mental health. I am scared, angry and lost.
    DD, I’ll try to answer with not many characters!

    In the UK a psychiatrist MUST assess patient before discharge even if they are there voluntarily. Nobody can just walk out at any time. Legally if a vol. patient asks to leave, they need to call a psych during the day and ask them to come and eval with a view to discharge. Staff said they would call one, but then refused to do so. The solicitor would have been breaking the law trying to get me out without an eval.

    The unit was locked & staff on the door 24/7. I could not just walk out. Bars on windows, that kind of thing.

    I would have refused food regardless. I had not taken anything prior to admission & they do blood tests to check this. No meds/drugs/alcohol in system. ‘Inmates’ flocked to kitchen area at mealtimes but I was never called for a meal or told I had to eat. Nobody offered to bring toast to my room, for example. I refused to eat/sit with patients as I would be seen to be complying with their abuse & I was not a patient a
    I was not a patient and did not want a reputation of being amongst the others patients (I would not socialise in case of of them knew me!)

    Cannot go back and ‘get records’. Here you have to apply to see medical records and they only give you the very basic stuff that they don’t mind you reading. No way would info in there from that lock up be released to me.

    After I left I was hiding because I had escaped from a locked psychiatric ward. The police kept calling my mobile and leaving messages asking me to go back or meet them anywhere I wanted. I was on ‘red alert’ – what the cops call ‘high risk missing’ partly due to the state I was in when I left and partly due to absconding. It means police were out looking for me and could 136 me in the street and take me back if they found me (sectioning in a public place). I was not scared by the cop/ex. I knew he wouldn’t hurt me – we are not talking domestic violence. It’s abuse of power but he never ever physically hurt me in any way.
    DD, I’ll try to answer with not many characters!

    In the UK a psychiatrist MUST assess patient before discharge even if they are there voluntarily. Nobody can just walk out at any time. Legally if a vol. patient asks to leave, they need to call a psych during the day and ask them to come and eval with a view to discharge. Staff said they would call one, but then refused to do so. The solicitor would have been breaking the law trying to get me out without an eval.

    The unit was locked & staff on the door 24/7. I could not just walk out. Bars on windows, that kind of thing.

    I would have refused food regardless. I had not taken anything prior to admission & they do blood tests to check this. No meds/drugs/alcohol in system. ‘Inmates’ flocked to kitchen area at mealtimes but I was never called for a meal or told I had to eat. Nobody offered to bring toast to my room, for example. I refused to eat/sit with patients as I would be seen to be complying with their abuse & I was not a patient a

  59. my fiancee is such a stubborn guy, lovely, nice, devoted…but stubborn like…wow. He had a DWI and crashed his car like 3 years ago. Since then, he got a job, lost a job (cause it was a disreputable work place) and he has gone to court, which bumped DOWN his color for drug testing to once a month, instead of twice. If cooperative, he goes on unsupervised probation march 31. Well, he lost his job. He wouldnt call his PO nor call to see if his color was up. Everytime I asked him to call to see he would say “damnit, I know sarah! quit hounding me, I will do it. Quit pushing me, I hate that ” and he never does, the more I ask, the more pissed off he gets at me. I asked him to use my aunts phone and he was like “No, cause then they will never shut up” or he says” you know we can’t afford it, its 100$ at the hospital to get a drug test”. I try and get him off his butt to do something towards getting out of a rut and he just sits there and rather pretends it is not real..and when I tell him it wont go away he grits his teeth and scoffs going “ugh…I KNOW SARAH…shut up..” then he has this tendency to point the finger at me about being a messy person or something so I don’t have a halo around my head in that argument. Well, he had a warrant out cause of missed tests, turned himself in, went in front of a judge in a orange jumpsuit and shackles trying to reason and tell the judge he didn’t have a phone to contact nor money to do the tests, offered to be on a more frequent color rather than the 2 weeks jail time. Judge told him “well, couldnt you have used a pay phone, or mail a letter to your probation officer” he pauses five seconds and goes “well, I guess” then the judge says ” There is no legitamate reason why you failed to contact your PO for over…4 months.. So I am going to give you the 15 days cause I don’t think you would learn otherwise.” His mom was crying, was it bad that I was smiling???? I was mad, and equally like ” yeah, thats what you get for being stubborn ‘have it your way’ ” Anyway, when he gets out, if you were me, would you welcome him with open arms and a present (his Bday is Vday) or be pissed off….what would you do?

  60. This is imporatant to me, please read :S

    my fiancee is such a stubborn guy, lovely, nice, devoted…but stubborn like…wow. He had a DWI and crashed his car like 3 years ago. Since then, he got a job, lost a job (cause it was a disreputable work place) and he has gone to court, which bumped DOWN his color for drug testing to once a month, instead of twice. If cooperative, he goes on unsupervised probation march 31. Well, he lost his job. He wouldnt call his PO nor call to see if his color was up. Everytime I asked him to call to see he would say “damnit, I know sarah! quit hounding me, I will do it. Quit pushing me, I hate that ” and he never does, the more I ask, the more pissed off he gets at me. I asked him to use my aunts phone and he was like “No, cause then they will never shut up” or he says” you know we can’t afford it, its 100$ at the hospital to get a drug test”. I try and get him off his butt to do something towards getting out of a rut and he just sits there and rather pretends it is not real..and when I tell him it wont go away he grits his teeth and scoffs going “ugh…I KNOW SARAH…shut up..” then he has this tendency to point the finger at me about being a messy person or something so I don’t have a halo around my head in that argument. Well, he had a warrant out cause of missed tests, turned himself in, went in front of a judge in a orange jumpsuit and shackles trying to reason and tell the judge he didn’t have a phone to contact nor money to do the tests, offered to be on a more frequent color rather than the 2 weeks jail time. Judge told him “well, couldnt you have used a pay phone, or mail a letter to your probation officer” he pauses five seconds and goes “well, I guess” then the judge says ” There is no legitamate reason why you failed to contact your PO for over…4 months.. So I am going to give you the 15 days cause I don’t think you would learn otherwise.” His mom was crying, was it bad that I was smiling???? I was mad, and equally like ” yeah, thats what you get for being stubborn ‘have it your way’ ” Anyway, when he gets out, if you were me, would you welcome him with open arms and a present (his Bday is Vday) or be pissed off….what would you do?

  61. Hi I’m a 31 year old stay at home Mom with my adorable 13 month old daughter. I’ve been with my husband 5 years and I want to make our marriage work.We really need counseling to fix this and for us to both be happy and have both our needs met. I’m having a hard time getting my point thru to him. He just thinks he’s right and I’m wrong. He doesn’t believe a relationship needs constant work and it needs to be treated with the utmost care or it falls apart. He just thinks it is what it is and we don’t need professional help. I love him dearly but I’m having a hard time seeing us for many more years together unless theres a change. It’s actually pretty little work on his part. So this is my last resort, I’m going to quickly write down the basic problems and I’m so confused at this point, I’m asking for validation for my feelings. If any of u were in my shoes would u feel the same way? And feel free to tell me I’m wrong, whatever needs done to save our family I’ll do it but to live with quiet anger and resentment is not healthy.

    There’s three main issues. One is He works 60 to 70 hours a week and plays hockey 3 to 4 times a week. So I don’t really see him that much and when I do he’s worn out and tired or hungry or just want’s to relax. I said once maybe you could not go to hockey tonight and he took that as me taking him away from his passion.Thats so far from the truth, I would never want or ask him to quit. Thats a major problem with us in general. he constantly misunderstands me and it turns into a fight really fast.and part of me thinks if he knew me at all he wouldn’t misunderstand me so much. How can me wanting him to spend time with me turn into what I don’t even know because we have never ever talked thru and resolved a conflict. When we fight I feel like my big strong man turns into a child! Theres insults and back and forth and then he gets really vicious with his words and goes too far and hurts me. I end up with a stabbing pain in my heart that his little sentence that ended the fight will eventually end our marriage. i walk away, we stop fighting, it’s never cleared up or resolved because I guess we don’t know how. ( Hence why we need counseling) But if I were to go tell him that right now THAT would turn into a fight of why am I trying to ruin his day. The way he misunderstands me hurts as much as his deep comments. Because theres no reason for it, I’m so good to him. I’m always considerate of him, always do you want something dear you need something dear?What can I do for you? I would love if he returned a quarter of how I treat him. I def shown him by example.

    He’s a great provider and very generous with me, because he does make all the money and he works hard for us. I do appeciate that sooo much of course I do. That allows me to raise our child.

    The Hockey I think shouldn’t be more than 2 days a week.What marriage is healthy when the husband works 5 days until evening then plays up to four days. Any more than 2 days is just neglect. Neglect to our home and us and our child. but again he doesn’t see it that way.

    I don’t understand. When I used to work I couldn’t wait to get home to see him, I wouldn’t actually make plans with a friend until I found out what he was doing first. But he’s the opposite he makes plans for himself and sometimes us then tells me about it. It infurriates me that he doesn’t check with me. He doesn’t know the reason why he has to tell me.

    I do all the cooking and cleaning and housework and In five years he’s never done a load of launry or picked his clothes up or cleaned a dish or watched our daughter for more than an hour. And Ok there’s the argument that that’s my job and he does his job but I said to him my job is 24/7. I never get a break. Can u offer to watch our daughter for a couple hours Once? Or offer to change her or bathe her or play with her. He loves her so much I know he does really so why do I have to force him to do these things. And when he does do them because I’ve made him he acts helpless and he can’t handle it and saying oh she wants her Mommy she needs you, oh my back hurts take her. And he want’s more kids! If the father works really hard doesn’t he still owe a minimum amount of just bonding with his kid? I feel like our relationship has morphed into a 50’s the woman does this and the Man does this. I feel like a single Mom most days. We need help, what can I do? what can I say to get him to understand?

  62. I met a girl on a matchmaking service as I could use a diversion for my time while overseas as a deployed soldier in Iraq. She and I spoke for six months online before I was able to come home and finally meet her. We talked about everything- including past relationships. She mentioned how she had lived with an older guy for three years when she turned 18, but that she broke it off because she thought he had cheated on her, he didn’t treat her well, and he wasn’t willing to settle down and marry her. Once we met, she and I fell in love and everything was great for the first several months of our relationship- I even moved in with her after leaving the Army.

    She introduced me to many of her friends, one of them a guy who we will call Rick. Rick was very nice to me, always buying me drinks, and he even offered me a job if I wanted it as I had just left the service. My GF had started a restaurant, and Rick’s contracting company did the majority of the work on the building because she had asked him to do it. Rick even had an office upstairs in the building for his contracting company- right next to my GF’s. When my GFs restaurant opened its doors, my GF hired Rick’s sister to be his bookkeeper- and I was also introduced by my GF to Rick’s entire family when they came in for dinner (which was fairly often). Rick helped bartend for the opening night of the restaurant. My GF was best friends with Rick’s brother’s wife, and my GF would always run to Rick when there were problems with the restaurant. There were several times when I found them upstairs together- alone, talking about things with the door closed. I had my suspicions, so I asked my GF how she got to know Rick- and she said he was just a friend she had known through her best friend (the one who was married to Rick’s brother).

    It wasn’t until we had been actually dating for six months (but talking for over a year) that I discovered the truth about my GF and Rick, just by casual conversation when someone told me he had given her a cheap rate on the construction for the restaurant because they had dated in the past. As I’m sure you know by now, Rick was the guy my GF had lived with for three years. I confronted her about it, and her response was that yes, they had lived together and dated, but that things between them were over. I told her I didn’t want her to talk to him anymore- but it was an impossible request. His sister worked for her, he had a contract for the office upstairs (so he would almost be guaranteed to see her every day for the next two years) and her best friend was married to his brother, so it would be hard for her to see her best friend without occasionally seeing him as well.

    I started snooping around to satisfy my curiosity. Even though it had been a couple years since they dated, she still had BOXES of photos of them together on beaches in Mexico and Jamaica- a place she and I were planning to go. She had an “I Love You” video she made for him still on her computer. There were no photos of any other person she dated- just pictures of those two together. When I confronted her about this, she did throw the pictures away, but only after I told her about them.

    My GF reassured me that there was nothing going on, and I believed her. Rick told me the same thing when he found out I knew. I don’t think she wants to date him, but I think that for whatever reason she likes having him around. It has been five months since I learned of this, and I still can’t get over it- how inconsiderate she was to put me in this situation, how she deceived me by lying about it/not telling me about it

  63. i am nearly blinde, not completely but nearly. i just went to my gonna be high school to take the placement testing with all the other eighth graders. sinc e i am nearly blinde, my braille teacher signed me up to get a large print test booklit, no big deal right? well they all turned it into something bigger than it was, very insulting. so i had to go and tell some lady that i needed a large print test booklit, so i said “i’ve been signed up to use a large print test booklit”
    the lady goes. “you mean you need special accomidations.”
    “no, just a large print test booklit.”
    “no that would be considered special accomidations, come with me” she made me stand off to the side, with all the kids in special ed, and yes, i am in special ed, but TO READ BRAILLE not becuase i can’t comprehend the stuff they through at me, i am in all the gifted classes, and i’m planning on being advanced placement, in everything in high school.
    so i am standing their with all the support kids, and i ask “am i going to be in the room i was assigned too?” because that was really important to me, not to be seperated from my friend, who i was getting a ride home with, (we have the same last initial, so we were in the same room)
    and she said “we’ll see”
    she looked for my name on her list, and couldn’t find it, i told her “thats because i am not supposed to be here, i am supposed to be in s229.”
    she goes in a high pitched talking slow, almost parent ease voice “don’t worry, we’ll get you tested, just sit down iin here.”
    “but i am not supposed to be in here.”
    “yeah, i know, we’ll figure it out” same voice.
    then they would not let me fill out the forms myself, there was one wehre we were supposed to mark in all our grades this year in our classes, i told the lady that i get a’s in everything. and she was all “good job, you must be smart” then they asked if we were in excelerated classes, she almost filled in no, before i told her that i was in excelerated classes. they locked me in a room, with the lady, to mark the answers for me. that is what they do for the all blind kids, i told them over and over again, that i don’t need that, i can see. really i can. but nope, it was really offending, how they forced me to do this stuff. so i answer the first test, and the lady, makes me give her a high five, and she tells me “good job,” in the high pitched parent ease voice, and i give her a weak, please don’t talk to me in that tone, voice. this happened three more times with the three tests, and by this time, i was feeling very offended that they assumed that i was not smart enough to be in excelerated, and that i was in the room for other reasons, by the time i was in sixth grade, i was making accomadations for myself by myself, that they trained me to do in grade school, so all of this was really offending.
    then i finished, the science portion, and she said, “congradulations, your done, you can go home now.” i look at her like she’s the one who’s being treated meantly ill, and say, “no, i am staying for the writing portion” which is what you have to stay for to get into AP writing, which of coarse is very important to me, they just assumed i wasn’t going to take it, they didn’t even offer it to me. which is offending, but then the other lady, that made come in there at all, said to me, “you know, you don’t have to take it.” in the parent ease voice
    i say, “i know, but i want to be in A P English.” and she rolls her eyes at me and says, “if you want too.” in a ‘waisting your time’ kind of way.
    so i take this test and get out of their, and she asks me if i wanted to use the schools phone to call my mom, now i know, from talking to the special ed kids, (lots of them are friends of mine, out of coincidence) and they have hard families, lots of them don’t even have mothers, and i think she shouldn’t have said that, i nearly said, “no, i can’t call her, she’s dead.” but i didn’t because i don’t have the guts, so i walked out of there, feeling really angry that people would treat me like that, slump me with the support kids. my dad said i should have protested against taking the test, he said that might even cause me to get a lower test grade, my mom thinks that she will call some poeple and figure out who did it, so that she can get them in trouble for discrimination, lots of people do things like that to me, and usually, i can just move right past it, but this time,. its really burning. what do you think i should do? nothing rude please.
    i don’t have a 504, but i do have an iep, and they just call it special ed just the same, becuase my braille teacher works for a company run by special ed, and that doesn’t really help me with discrimination, or high school placement testing.
    I have all the things that you list, and i do know about my terrible spelling, S just one of those regular problems i have to work on, and it doesn’t help that i type faster than i should (about 80 wpm ranther than 50 wpm) and i have a really old keyboard, about as old as me, but thanks for reminding me, and being considerate, but in future, i read bad spelling better than anyone, because, i use it.

  64. I did ask a similar question but it was only for the last 2-3 paragraphs and I think that people thought that it was the begining, well heres the whole thing at the moment. Lastly I know that to older people it may not apeal, but this is a story for teens etc, so that may be the reason why. I know my grammar isn’t perfect and I understand that.

    Preface

    My name is Chezney Wilson. I’m not some famous celebrity chased by the paparazzi that you see tend to always see nowadays. I’m not even some random wannabe that tags along with the largest crowds just to be noticed and appreciated. I don’t want to be any of those people. I just want to be a normal and regular guy, that tries to help others as much as he can. Who does his best to try and make the world just that little better. Well I thought that I was just a normal and regular guy, but as it turned out, there was more to me then even I knew.

    Chapter One

    A New Start

    Being a lonely child and having your parents split up is incredibly hard. First of all, your most likely going to be confused, hurt and scared as you have no idea for if it is your fathers fault, your mothers or maybe even yours. That’s immediately how I felt when my parents got divorced, and these were my exact feelings on the twenty sixth of may, two thousand and ten, five days before my eighteenth birthday, when I found myself sitting beside my Dad, Harry Wilson, in the front passenger seat of his shiny new black Porsche. My Dad is kind of rich; he had a big job in a hospital. Actually he was known as the best doctor in all Seattle which I think that this was the problem, that my Mom, didn’t think that my Dad spent enough time at home. However now that we had left Seattle; due to both his and my Mom’s, final decision. My Dad has been offered a new job as the chief doctor in Traverse City, Michigan. I don’t really pay any attention to the fact that my Dad earns a great deal of money each year, as cash isn’t really everything, its really all about what you want to do in life. That is why in the backseat, my bass guitar is safely lieing down on a few fully packed suitcases. Music is just one of the subjects that I fully enjoy, to me life without music is simply unbearable, I play guitar and sometimes only when I’m alone, I tend to sing a little. When school is involved, I’m not exactly the cleverest in my classes, I guess you can say that I’m an average B plus student. I put a lot of effort into my education as its important and a few good grades, can make nice decorations on the kitchen refrigerator.
    After a another slow two and a half hour drive, we soon started to arrive at the city’s entrance. Feeling extremely bored due to the lack of activity, I gazed into the small side view mirror and took a good look at my appearance, ready for when we finally got out of the car. As I swept my long and dark fringe away from my right eye, my hard, piercing and still a little upset, blue eye slowly blinked back in my direction. Apart from the clear signs of lack of sleep that had started to creep around the bottom of both of my eyes, they seemed to both looked perfectly fine.
    “That’s what you need, plenty of sleep,” remarked my Dad suddenly, still keeping his eyes on the busy road in front of us as we slowly came to a short bend. This remark sounded strange because apart from the quick, ‘Are you ready?’ he had asked before we had left, this was the first thing that he had said throughout the whole trip.
    “Maybe,” I muttered, not taking any notice of what he had just said. As I looked away from the side view mirror, I managed to catch a small glimpse of the city’s tall welcome sign, as it towered above us for just a quick a second. Feeling awkward, he slowly shuffled around in his seat and then took a quick sip of his strong smelling black coffee. Wanting to avoid this awkward moment, I looked out of my window and noticed that there were a lot of people and stores flashing by, then there had been around five minutes ago.
    As we gradually began to drive deeper into the city, it soon became to feel incredibly boring. For no apparent reason, I tightly closed my eyes and reopened them five minutes later, to find that we had just left the city and now started to pass the most beautiful looking beach that I had ever seen. As if the beach was somehow controlling me, I rolled down my window, allowing a gentle breeze to enter, so that I could see everything even more clearly. Everything about the beach looked amazing its golden sand as it glinted in the strong sun light and the clear deep blue water.
    “I knew that you would like this place,” Dad eagerly remarked, as he took a quick and hopeful look in my direction. Without answering, I knew inside that he was right, this place was extreme. “Kind of beautiful isn’t it?” he asked, as we stopped at a set of lights, to let a group of laughing teens, carrying surf boards, cross the road. Giving the beach one last look, I turned to look at Dad, as I

  65. i am nearly blinde, not completely but nearly. i just went to my gonna be high school to take the placement testing with all the other eighth graders. sinc e i am nearly blinde, my braille teacher signed me up to get a large print test booklit, no big deal right? well they all turned it into something bigger than it was, very insulting. so i had to go and tell some lady that i needed a large print test booklit, so i said “i’ve been signed up to use a large print test booklit”
    the lady goes. “you mean you need special accomidations.”
    “no, just a large print test booklit.”
    “no that would be considered special accomidations, come with me” she made me stand off to the side, with all the kids in special ed, and yes, i am in special ed, but TO READ BRAILLE not becuase i can’t comprehend the stuff they through at me, i am in all the gifted classes, and i’m planning on being advanced placement, in everything in high school.
    so i am standing their with all the support kids, and i ask “am i going to be in the room i was assigned too?” because that was really important to me, not to be seperated from my friend, who i was getting a ride home with, (we have the same last initial, so we were in the same room)
    and she said “we’ll see”
    she looked for my name on her list, and couldn’t find it, i told her “thats because i am not supposed to be here, i am supposed to be in s229.”
    she goes in a high pitched talking slow, almost parent ease voice “don’t worry, we’ll get you tested, just sit down iin here.”
    “but i am not supposed to be in here.”
    “yeah, i know, we’ll figure it out” same voice.
    then they would not let me fill out the forms myself, there was one wehre we were supposed to mark in all our grades this year in our classes, i told the lady that i get a’s in everything. and she was all “good job, you must be smart” then they asked if we were in excelerated classes, she almost filled in no, before i told her that i was in excelerated classes. they locked me in a room, with the lady, to mark the answers for me. that is what they do for the all blind kids, i told them over and over again, that i don’t need that, i can see. really i can. but nope, it was really offending, how they forced me to do this stuff. so i answer the first test, and the lady, makes me give her a high five, and she tells me “good job,” in the high pitched parent ease voice, and i give her a weak, please don’t talk to me in that tone, voice. this happened three more times with the three tests, and by this time, i was feeling very offended that they assumed that i was not smart enough to be in excelerated, and that i was in the room for other reasons, by the time i was in sixth grade, i was making accomadations for myself by myself, that they trained me to do in grade school, so all of this was really offending.
    then i finished, the science portion, and she said, “congradulations, your done, you can go home now.” i look at her like she’s the one who’s being treated meantly ill, and say, “no, i am staying for the writing portion” which is what you have to stay for to get into AP writing, which of coarse is very important to me, they just assumed i wasn’t going to take it, they didn’t even offer it to me. which is offending, but then the other lady, that made come in there at all, said to me, “you know, you don’t have to take it.” in the parent ease voice
    i say, “i know, but i want to be in A P English.” and she rolls her eyes at me and says, “if you want too.” in a ‘waisting your time’ kind of way.
    so i take this test and get out of their, and she asks me if i wanted to use the schools phone to call my mom, now i know, from talking to the special ed kids, (lots of them are friends of mine, out of coincidence) and they have hard families, lots of them don’t even have mothers, and i think she shouldn’t have said that, i nearly said, “no, i can’t call her, she’s dead.” but i didn’t because i don’t have the guts, so i walked out of there, feeling really angry that people would treat me like that, slump me with the support kids. my dad said i should have protested against taking the test, he said that might even cause me to get a lower test grade, my mom thinks that she will call some poeple and figure out who did it, so that she can get them in trouble for discrimination, lots of people do things like that to me, and usually, i can just move right past it, but this time,. its really burning. what do you think i should do? nothing rude please.
    i don’t have a 504, but i do have an iep, and they just call it special ed just the same, becuase my braille teacher works for a company run by special ed, and that doesn’t really help me with discrimination, or high school placement testing.
    I have all the things that you list, and i do know about my terrible spelling, S just one of those regular problems i have to work on, and it doesn’t help that i type faster than i should (about 80 wpm ranther than 50 wpm) and i have a really old keyboard, about as old as me, but thanks for reminding me, and being considerate, but in future, i read bad spelling better than anyone, because, i use it.

  66. Hi I’m a 31 year old stay at home Mom with my adorable 13 month old daughter. I’ve been with my husband 5 years and I want to make our marriage work.We really need counseling to fix this and for us to both be happy and have both our needs met. I’m having a hard time getting my point thru to him. He just thinks he’s right and I’m wrong. He doesn’t believe a relationship needs constant work and it needs to be treated with the utmost care or it falls apart. He just thinks it is what it is and we don’t need professional help. I love him dearly but I’m having a hard time seeing us for many more years together unless theres a change. It’s actually pretty little work on his part. So this is my last resort, I’m going to quickly write down the basic problems and I’m so confused at this point, I’m asking for validation for my feelings. If any of u were in my shoes would u feel the same way? And feel free to tell me I’m wrong, whatever needs done to save our family I’ll do it but to live with quiet anger and resentment is not healthy.

    There’s three main issues. One is He works 60 to 70 hours a week and plays hockey 3 to 4 times a week. So I don’t really see him that much and when I do he’s worn out and tired or hungry or just want’s to relax. I said once maybe you could not go to hockey tonight and he took that as me taking him away from his passion.Thats so far from the truth, I would never want or ask him to quit. Thats a major problem with us in general. he constantly misunderstands me and it turns into a fight really fast.and part of me thinks if he knew me at all he wouldn’t misunderstand me so much. How can me wanting him to spend time with me turn into what I don’t even know because we have never ever talked thru and resolved a conflict. When we fight I feel like my big strong man turns into a child! Theres insults and back and forth and then he gets really vicious with his words and goes too far and hurts me. I end up with a stabbing pain in my heart that his little sentence that ended the fight will eventually end our marriage. i walk away, we stop fighting, it’s never cleared up or resolved because I guess we don’t know how. ( Hence why we need counseling) But if I were to go tell him that right now THAT would turn into a fight of why am I trying to ruin his day. The way he misunderstands me hurts as much as his deep comments. Because theres no reason for it, I’m so good to him. I’m always considerate of him, always do you want something dear you need something dear?What can I do for you? I would love if he returned a quarter of how I treat him. I def shown him by example.

    He’s a great provider and very generous with me, because he does make all the money and he works hard for us. I do appeciate that sooo much of course I do. That allows me to raise our child.

    The Hockey I think shouldn’t be more than 2 days a week.What marriage is healthy when the husband works 5 days until evening then plays up to four days. Any more than 2 days is just neglect. Neglect to our home and us and our child. but again he doesn’t see it that way.

    I don’t understand. When I used to work I couldn’t wait to get home to see him, I wouldn’t actually make plans with a friend until I found out what he was doing first. But he’s the opposite he makes plans for himself and sometimes us then tells me about it. It infurriates me that he doesn’t check with me. He doesn’t know the reason why he has to tell me.

    I do all the cooking and cleaning and housework and In five years he’s never done a load of launry or picked his clothes up or cleaned a dish or watched our daughter for more than an hour. And Ok there’s the argument that that’s my job and he does his job but I said to him my job is 24/7. I never get a break. Can u offer to watch our daughter for a couple hours Once? Or offer to change her or bathe her or play with her. He loves her so much I know he does really so why do I have to force him to do these things. And when he does do them because I’ve made him he acts helpless and he can’t handle it and saying oh she wants her Mommy she needs you, oh my back hurts take her. And he want’s more kids! If the father works really hard doesn’t he still owe a minimum amount of just bonding with his kid? I feel like our relationship has morphed into a 50’s the woman does this and the Man does this. I feel like a single Mom most days. We need help, what can I do? what can I say to get him to understand?

  67. I did ask a similar question but it was only for the last 2-3 paragraphs and I think that people thought that it was the begining, well heres the whole thing at the moment. Lastly I know that to older people it may not apeal, but this is a story for teens etc, so that may be the reason why. I know my grammar isn’t perfect and I understand that.

    Preface

    My name is Chezney Wilson. I’m not some famous celebrity chased by the paparazzi that you see tend to always see nowadays. I’m not even some random wannabe that tags along with the largest crowds just to be noticed and appreciated. I don’t want to be any of those people. I just want to be a normal and regular guy, that tries to help others as much as he can. Who does his best to try and make the world just that little better. Well I thought that I was just a normal and regular guy, but as it turned out, there was more to me then even I knew.

    Chapter One

    A New Start

    Being a lonely child and having your parents split up is incredibly hard. First of all, your most likely going to be confused, hurt and scared as you have no idea for if it is your fathers fault, your mothers or maybe even yours. That’s immediately how I felt when my parents got divorced, and these were my exact feelings on the twenty sixth of may, two thousand and ten, five days before my eighteenth birthday, when I found myself sitting beside my Dad, Harry Wilson, in the front passenger seat of his shiny new black Porsche. My Dad is kind of rich; he had a big job in a hospital. Actually he was known as the best doctor in all Seattle which I think that this was the problem, that my Mom, didn’t think that my Dad spent enough time at home. However now that we had left Seattle; due to both his and my Mom’s, final decision. My Dad has been offered a new job as the chief doctor in Traverse City, Michigan. I don’t really pay any attention to the fact that my Dad earns a great deal of money each year, as cash isn’t really everything, its really all about what you want to do in life. That is why in the backseat, my bass guitar is safely lieing down on a few fully packed suitcases. Music is just one of the subjects that I fully enjoy, to me life without music is simply unbearable, I play guitar and sometimes only when I’m alone, I tend to sing a little. When school is involved, I’m not exactly the cleverest in my classes, I guess you can say that I’m an average B plus student. I put a lot of effort into my education as its important and a few good grades, can make nice decorations on the kitchen refrigerator.
    After a another slow two and a half hour drive, we soon started to arrive at the city’s entrance. Feeling extremely bored due to the lack of activity, I gazed into the small side view mirror and took a good look at my appearance, ready for when we finally got out of the car. As I swept my long and dark fringe away from my right eye, my hard, piercing and still a little upset, blue eye slowly blinked back in my direction. Apart from the clear signs of lack of sleep that had started to creep around the bottom of both of my eyes, they seemed to both looked perfectly fine.
    “That’s what you need, plenty of sleep,” remarked my Dad suddenly, still keeping his eyes on the busy road in front of us as we slowly came to a short bend. This remark sounded strange because apart from the quick, ‘Are you ready?’ he had asked before we had left, this was the first thing that he had said throughout the whole trip.
    “Maybe,” I muttered, not taking any notice of what he had just said. As I looked away from the side view mirror, I managed to catch a small glimpse of the city’s tall welcome sign, as it towered above us for just a quick a second. Feeling awkward, he slowly shuffled around in his seat and then took a quick sip of his strong smelling black coffee. Wanting to avoid this awkward moment, I looked out of my window and noticed that there were a lot of people and stores flashing by, then there had been around five minutes ago.
    As we gradually began to drive deeper into the city, it soon became to feel incredibly boring. For no apparent reason, I tightly closed my eyes and reopened them five minutes later, to find that we had just left the city and now started to pass the most beautiful looking beach that I had ever seen. As if the beach was somehow controlling me, I rolled down my window, allowing a gentle breeze to enter, so that I could see everything even more clearly. Everything about the beach looked amazing its golden sand as it glinted in the strong sun light and the clear deep blue water.
    “I knew that you would like this place,” Dad eagerly remarked, as he took a quick and hopeful look in my direction. Without answering, I knew inside that he was right, this place was extreme. “Kind of beautiful isn’t it?” he asked, as we stopped at a set of lights, to let a group of laughing teens, carrying surf boards, cross the road. Giving the beach one last look, I turned to look at Dad, as I

  68. i am nearly blinde, not completely but nearly. i just went to my gonna be high school to take the placement testing with all the other eighth graders. sinc e i am nearly blinde, my braille teacher signed me up to get a large print test booklit, no big deal right? well they all turned it into something bigger than it was, very insulting. so i had to go and tell some lady that i needed a large print test booklit, so i said “i’ve been signed up to use a large print test booklit”
    the lady goes. “you mean you need special accomidations.”
    “no, just a large print test booklit.”
    “no that would be considered special accomidations, come with me” she made me stand off to the side, with all the kids in special ed, and yes, i am in special ed, but TO READ BRAILLE not becuase i can’t comprehend the stuff they through at me, i am in all the gifted classes, and i’m planning on being advanced placement, in everything in high school.
    so i am standing their with all the support kids, and i ask “am i going to be in the room i was assigned too?” because that was really important to me, not to be seperated from my friend, who i was getting a ride home with, (we have the same last initial, so we were in the same room)
    and she said “we’ll see”
    she looked for my name on her list, and couldn’t find it, i told her “thats because i am not supposed to be here, i am supposed to be in s229.”
    she goes in a high pitched talking slow, almost parent ease voice “don’t worry, we’ll get you tested, just sit down iin here.”
    “but i am not supposed to be in here.”
    “yeah, i know, we’ll figure it out” same voice.
    then they would not let me fill out the forms myself, there was one wehre we were supposed to mark in all our grades this year in our classes, i told the lady that i get a’s in everything. and she was all “good job, you must be smart” then they asked if we were in excelerated classes, she almost filled in no, before i told her that i was in excelerated classes. they locked me in a room, with the lady, to mark the answers for me. that is what they do for the all blind kids, i told them over and over again, that i don’t need that, i can see. really i can. but nope, it was really offending, how they forced me to do this stuff. so i answer the first test, and the lady, makes me give her a high five, and she tells me “good job,” in the high pitched parent ease voice, and i give her a weak, please don’t talk to me in that tone, voice. this happened three more times with the three tests, and by this time, i was feeling very offended that they assumed that i was not smart enough to be in excelerated, and that i was in the room for other reasons, by the time i was in sixth grade, i was making accomadations for myself by myself, that they trained me to do in grade school, so all of this was really offending.
    then i finished, the science portion, and she said, “congradulations, your done, you can go home now.” i look at her like she’s the one who’s being treated meantly ill, and say, “no, i am staying for the writing portion” which is what you have to stay for to get into AP writing, which of coarse is very important to me, they just assumed i wasn’t going to take it, they didn’t even offer it to me. which is offending, but then the other lady, that made come in there at all, said to me, “you know, you don’t have to take it.” in the parent ease voice
    i say, “i know, but i want to be in A P English.” and she rolls her eyes at me and says, “if you want too.” in a ‘waisting your time’ kind of way.
    so i take this test and get out of their, and she asks me if i wanted to use the schools phone to call my mom, now i know, from talking to the special ed kids, (lots of them are friends of mine, out of coincidence) and they have hard families, lots of them don’t even have mothers, and i think she shouldn’t have said that, i nearly said, “no, i can’t call her, she’s dead.” but i didn’t because i don’t have the guts, so i walked out of there, feeling really angry that people would treat me like that, slump me with the support kids. my dad said i should have protested against taking the test, he said that might even cause me to get a lower test grade, my mom thinks that she will call some poeple and figure out who did it, so that she can get them in trouble for discrimination, lots of people do things like that to me, and usually, i can just move right past it, but this time,. its really burning. what do you think i should do? nothing rude please.
    i don’t have a 504, but i do have an iep, and they just call it special ed just the same, becuase my braille teacher works for a company run by special ed, and that doesn’t really help me with discrimination, or high school placement testing.
    I have all the things that you list, and i do know about my terrible spelling, S just one of those regular problems i have to work on, and it doesn’t help that i type faster than i should (about 80 wpm ranther than 50 wpm) and i have a really old keyboard, about as old as me, but thanks for reminding me, and being considerate, but in future, i read bad spelling better than anyone, because, i use it.

  69. Hi I’m a 31 year old stay at home Mom with my adorable 13 month old daughter. I’ve been with my husband 5 years and I want to make our marriage work.We really need counseling to fix this and for us to both be happy and have both our needs met. I’m having a hard time getting my point thru to him. He just thinks he’s right and I’m wrong. He doesn’t believe a relationship needs constant work and it needs to be treated with the utmost care or it falls apart. He just thinks it is what it is and we don’t need professional help. I love him dearly but I’m having a hard time seeing us for many more years together unless theres a change. It’s actually pretty little work on his part. So this is my last resort, I’m going to quickly write down the basic problems and I’m so confused at this point, I’m asking for validation for my feelings. If any of u were in my shoes would u feel the same way? And feel free to tell me I’m wrong, whatever needs done to save our family I’ll do it but to live with quiet anger and resentment is not healthy.

    There’s three main issues. One is He works 60 to 70 hours a week and plays hockey 3 to 4 times a week. So I don’t really see him that much and when I do he’s worn out and tired or hungry or just want’s to relax. I said once maybe you could not go to hockey tonight and he took that as me taking him away from his passion.Thats so far from the truth, I would never want or ask him to quit. Thats a major problem with us in general. he constantly misunderstands me and it turns into a fight really fast.and part of me thinks if he knew me at all he wouldn’t misunderstand me so much. How can me wanting him to spend time with me turn into what I don’t even know because we have never ever talked thru and resolved a conflict. When we fight I feel like my big strong man turns into a child! Theres insults and back and forth and then he gets really vicious with his words and goes too far and hurts me. I end up with a stabbing pain in my heart that his little sentence that ended the fight will eventually end our marriage. i walk away, we stop fighting, it’s never cleared up or resolved because I guess we don’t know how. ( Hence why we need counseling) But if I were to go tell him that right now THAT would turn into a fight of why am I trying to ruin his day. The way he misunderstands me hurts as much as his deep comments. Because theres no reason for it, I’m so good to him. I’m always considerate of him, always do you want something dear you need something dear?What can I do for you? I would love if he returned a quarter of how I treat him. I def shown him by example.

    He’s a great provider and very generous with me, because he does make all the money and he works hard for us. I do appeciate that sooo much of course I do. That allows me to raise our child.

    The Hockey I think shouldn’t be more than 2 days a week.What marriage is healthy when the husband works 5 days until evening then plays up to four days. Any more than 2 days is just neglect. Neglect to our home and us and our child. but again he doesn’t see it that way.

    I don’t understand. When I used to work I couldn’t wait to get home to see him, I wouldn’t actually make plans with a friend until I found out what he was doing first. But he’s the opposite he makes plans for himself and sometimes us then tells me about it. It infurriates me that he doesn’t check with me. He doesn’t know the reason why he has to tell me.

    I do all the cooking and cleaning and housework and In five years he’s never done a load of launry or picked his clothes up or cleaned a dish or watched our daughter for more than an hour. And Ok there’s the argument that that’s my job and he does his job but I said to him my job is 24/7. I never get a break. Can u offer to watch our daughter for a couple hours Once? Or offer to change her or bathe her or play with her. He loves her so much I know he does really so why do I have to force him to do these things. And when he does do them because I’ve made him he acts helpless and he can’t handle it and saying oh she wants her Mommy she needs you, oh my back hurts take her. And he want’s more kids! If the father works really hard doesn’t he still owe a minimum amount of just bonding with his kid? I feel like our relationship has morphed into a 50’s the woman does this and the Man does this. I feel like a single Mom most days. We need help, what can I do? what can I say to get him to understand?

  70. I met a girl on a matchmaking service as I could use a diversion for my time while overseas as a deployed soldier in Iraq. She and I spoke for six months online before I was able to come home and finally meet her. We talked about everything- including past relationships. She mentioned how she had lived with an older guy for three years when she turned 18, but that she broke it off because she thought he had cheated on her, he didn’t treat her well, and he wasn’t willing to settle down and marry her. Once we met, she and I fell in love and everything was great for the first several months of our relationship- I even moved in with her after leaving the Army.

    She introduced me to many of her friends, one of them a guy who we will call Rick. Rick was very nice to me, always buying me drinks, and he even offered me a job if I wanted it as I had just left the service. My GF had started a restaurant, and Rick’s contracting company did the majority of the work on the building because she had asked him to do it. Rick even had an office upstairs in the building for his contracting company- right next to my GF’s. When my GFs restaurant opened its doors, my GF hired Rick’s sister to be his bookkeeper- and I was also introduced by my GF to Rick’s entire family when they came in for dinner (which was fairly often). Rick helped bartend for the opening night of the restaurant. My GF was best friends with Rick’s brother’s wife, and my GF would always run to Rick when there were problems with the restaurant. There were several times when I found them upstairs together- alone, talking about things with the door closed. I had my suspicions, so I asked my GF how she got to know Rick- and she said he was just a friend she had known through her best friend (the one who was married to Rick’s brother).

    It wasn’t until we had been actually dating for six months (but talking for over a year) that I discovered the truth about my GF and Rick, just by casual conversation when someone told me he had given her a cheap rate on the construction for the restaurant because they had dated in the past. As I’m sure you know by now, Rick was the guy my GF had lived with for three years. I confronted her about it, and her response was that yes, they had lived together and dated, but that things between them were over. I told her I didn’t want her to talk to him anymore- but it was an impossible request. His sister worked for her, he had a contract for the office upstairs (so he would almost be guaranteed to see her every day for the next two years) and her best friend was married to his brother, so it would be hard for her to see her best friend without occasionally seeing him as well.

    I started snooping around to satisfy my curiosity. Even though it had been a couple years since they dated, she still had BOXES of photos of them together on beaches in Mexico and Jamaica- a place she and I were planning to go. She had an “I Love You” video she made for him still on her computer. There were no photos of any other person she dated- just pictures of those two together. When I confronted her about this, she did throw the pictures away, but only after I told her about them.

    My GF reassured me that there was nothing going on, and I believed her. Rick told me the same thing when he found out I knew. I don’t think she wants to date him, but I think that for whatever reason she likes having him around. It has been five months since I learned of this, and I still can’t get over it- how inconsiderate she was to put me in this situation, how she deceived me by lying about it/not telling me about it (which I think is a HUGE deal), and how I never would have moved in with her if I had known the truth beforehand.

    Am I crazy to think that most people would want to leave their past behind instead of seeing it walk through the door everyday?

    I care about this girl, but this has been tearing me apart for five months and I don’t know how to get over it. I feel like if I had known about it sooner, I could’ve gotten over it- but the fact that she lied about it for so many months makes me not trust her. And here’s the kicker- before all this came out, she told me when she was younger she had an abortion- from someone else. She could tell me that (which I think is a MUCH bigger secret) but she didn’t want to tell me about Rick- doesn’t that sound fishy? I find myself looking for excuses to make her feel bad about dating him and lying about it- which I know is never a good sign.

    Any advice is welcome.

    Thanks.
    Now that I know this guy- and I’ve learned even more about his scumbaggery since first meeting him- it makes me wonder what kind of taste my GF had in men before meeting me…. It makes me feel like I could do better…especially since now I wonder what else she’s hiding from me (because I don’t feel like I can really trust her).

  71. Step daughter is 23 with a kid. She graduated college 18 mos ago. She had a baby, has never worked a day in her life. My husband has been paying for everything. He is now regretting it. It is debilitating her. She lives with the belief that she does not have to work and she can use anyone anyway she wants. My husband is likely going to be laid off. It dawned on me today that he basically treated her like his wife (without the spousal duties). He has 3 kids. He bought her a brand new car, a 1000 dollar great dane, designer everything, a condo, top notch furniture. all she has to do is well – nothing. He pays Cobra Insurance for her because she is a grown up and the insurance lapsed.

    She has been fighting custody over the baby with the father, but really all they (the father of the baby) want is standard visitation. She lives in another state and we have asked her to come home but she won’t because of one reason or another (including the father of the baby won’t allow it). We told her she could come live here, but who would want to leave a spacious condo with cherry hardwood floors to live in a crowded house, right? We offered that we could watch the baby while she works if she moves down here. She said no, she was going to go to graduate school.

    She wants the father of the baby not to have any rights whatsoever, so she wants about $10,000 to pay for a lawyer. My husband said he is no longer going to pay her way and that he agrees that he has been allowing her to live in a fantasy world and he wants to stop doing this.

    She was just hired for a job for $15 an hour and full benefits, he would have been willing to continue making house payments to help her out until she could get on her feet, but she turned down the job because she felt that daycare would be traumatic on the 10 month old baby. Then she called back and said she just bought a GPS navigation system for 200 bucks and could dad please put money in her account! I was floored. I have been in the situation of having a child alone and I never in my wildest dreams would have thought to have bought a “luxury” item, especially when it was not needed.

    I am also worried because she is so set on being able to give her infant daughter psychotic meds because she thinks that the child may need it in the future and does not want the father of this infant to have any say so. I just have this feeling like my husband is going behind my back and going to give her money the minute she starts crying. She refuses to accept any responsibility. She won’t get a job. She makes excuses, she is manipulative and she knows exactly what to say to get money from her dad. He doesn’t have a backbone where she’s concerned. When he tells her to do something, he says it in a manner that sounds more like he is afraid to get through to her she cannot carry on like this. He is afraid of losing her.

    She honestly believes that the salary my husband makes is her salary. She acts as though she has the same rights as a spouse. My husband and I have talked but I am having serious doubts that he will follow through.

    She calls him an a-hole and then turns around and talks about him dying and tells him that since he married me, if affects her inheritance. They sat at Thanksgiving Dinner and told their dad that he needed to go die basically. But he does not hear what his kids tell him or basically takes it as a joke. My kids have never told me to go die (maybe go to hell, but not die). Then she started in that the dishes that were given to him in his first wife’s marriage (she deceased) and that she wants them and is entitled to them. He bought many of the pieces to make it a complete set. We would likely have given them to her later, but she feels some direct and immediate entitlement to them.

    So today I heard her talking about my five year and making accusations that were not true and I just yelled at my husband who was ever so nicely telling her she was not being appropriate, I told her to take care of herself and her child and quit manipulating her father. He got mad at me because she hung up on him. I told him I did not care to hear anymore because all she does is talk. I am thinking I should get a job albeit it would be considerably less than what he could make, but I may end up having to leave because I am really having a hard time thinking I could live with this. I had not realized he is basically married to this child, who thinks she has entitlement.

    I have been through a lot of sad times, I have been through rough times. My parents were well off and did not offer me a “bail out” I went through college nursing a child and working. I did not get ammenities like a PC to type my papers I had to drive over an hour to get to a computer and usually had to stay up 3-4 days at a time during finals weeks. I don’t desire more money or “things” for myself. I can take care of myself. It’s the attitude of this girl and the way she treats her father that makes me infu

  72. This is imporatant to me, please read :S

    my fiancee is such a stubborn guy, lovely, nice, devoted…but stubborn like…wow. He had a DWI and crashed his car like 3 years ago. Since then, he got a job, lost a job (cause it was a disreputable work place) and he has gone to court, which bumped DOWN his color for drug testing to once a month, instead of twice. If cooperative, he goes on unsupervised probation march 31. Well, he lost his job. He wouldnt call his PO nor call to see if his color was up. Everytime I asked him to call to see he would say “damnit, I know sarah! quit hounding me, I will do it. Quit pushing me, I hate that ” and he never does, the more I ask, the more pissed off he gets at me. I asked him to use my aunts phone and he was like “No, cause then they will never shut up” or he says” you know we can’t afford it, its 100$ at the hospital to get a drug test”. I try and get him off his butt to do something towards getting out of a rut and he just sits there and rather pretends it is not real..and when I tell him it wont go away he grits his teeth and scoffs going “ugh…I KNOW SARAH…shut up..” then he has this tendency to point the finger at me about being a messy person or something so I don’t have a halo around my head in that argument. Well, he had a warrant out cause of missed tests, turned himself in, went in front of a judge in a orange jumpsuit and shackles trying to reason and tell the judge he didn’t have a phone to contact nor money to do the tests, offered to be on a more frequent color rather than the 2 weeks jail time. Judge told him “well, couldnt you have used a pay phone, or mail a letter to your probation officer” he pauses five seconds and goes “well, I guess” then the judge says ” There is no legitamate reason why you failed to contact your PO for over…4 months.. So I am going to give you the 15 days cause I don’t think you would learn otherwise.” His mom was crying, was it bad that I was smiling???? I was mad, and equally like ” yeah, thats what you get for being stubborn ‘have it your way’ ” Anyway, when he gets out, if you were me, would you welcome him with open arms and a present (his Bday is Vday) or be pissed off….what would you do?

  73. Step daughter is 23 with a kid. She graduated college 18 mos ago. She had a baby, has never worked a day in her life. My husband has been paying for everything. He is now regretting it. It is debilitating her. She lives with the belief that she does not have to work and she can use anyone anyway she wants. My husband is likely going to be laid off. It dawned on me today that he basically treated her like his wife (without the spousal duties). He has 3 kids. He bought her a brand new car, a 1000 dollar great dane, designer everything, a condo, top notch furniture. all she has to do is well – nothing. He pays Cobra Insurance for her because she is a grown up and the insurance lapsed.

    She has been fighting custody over the baby with the father, but really all they (the father of the baby) want is standard visitation. She lives in another state and we have asked her to come home but she won’t because of one reason or another (including the father of the baby won’t allow it). We told her she could come live here, but who would want to leave a spacious condo with cherry hardwood floors to live in a crowded house, right? We offered that we could watch the baby while she works if she moves down here. She said no, she was going to go to graduate school.

    She wants the father of the baby not to have any rights whatsoever, so she wants about $10,000 to pay for a lawyer. My husband said he is no longer going to pay her way and that he agrees that he has been allowing her to live in a fantasy world and he wants to stop doing this.

    She was just hired for a job for $15 an hour and full benefits, he would have been willing to continue making house payments to help her out until she could get on her feet, but she turned down the job because she felt that daycare would be traumatic on the 10 month old baby. Then she called back and said she just bought a GPS navigation system for 200 bucks and could dad please put money in her account! I was floored. I have been in the situation of having a child alone and I never in my wildest dreams would have thought to have bought a “luxury” item, especially when it was not needed.

    I am also worried because she is so set on being able to give her infant daughter psychotic meds because she thinks that the child may need it in the future and does not want the father of this infant to have any say so. I just have this feeling like my husband is going behind my back and going to give her money the minute she starts crying. She refuses to accept any responsibility. She won’t get a job. She makes excuses, she is manipulative and she knows exactly what to say to get money from her dad. He doesn’t have a backbone where she’s concerned. When he tells her to do something, he says it in a manner that sounds more like he is afraid to get through to her she cannot carry on like this. He is afraid of losing her.

    She honestly believes that the salary my husband makes is her salary. She acts as though she has the same rights as a spouse. My husband and I have talked but I am having serious doubts that he will follow through.

    She calls him an a-hole and then turns around and talks about him dying and tells him that since he married me, if affects her inheritance. They sat at Thanksgiving Dinner and told their dad that he needed to go die basically. But he does not hear what his kids tell him or basically takes it as a joke. My kids have never told me to go die (maybe go to hell, but not die). Then she started in that the dishes that were given to him in his first wife’s marriage (she deceased) and that she wants them and is entitled to them. He bought many of the pieces to make it a complete set. We would likely have given them to her later, but she feels some direct and immediate entitlement to them.

    So today I heard her talking about my five year and making accusations that were not true and I just yelled at my husband who was ever so nicely telling her she was not being appropriate, I told her to take care of herself and her child and quit manipulating her father. He got mad at me because she hung up on him. I told him I did not care to hear anymore because all she does is talk. I am thinking I should get a job albeit it would be considerably less than what he could make, but I may end up having to leave because I am really having a hard time thinking I could live with this. I had not realized he is basically married to this child, who thinks she has entitlement.

    I have been through a lot of sad times, I have been through rough times. My parents were well off and did not offer me a “bail out” I went through college nursing a child and working. I did not get ammenities like a PC to type my papers I had to drive over an hour to get to a computer and usually had to stay up 3-4 days at a time during finals weeks. I don’t desire more money or “things” for myself. I can take care of myself. It’s the attitude of this girl and the way she treats her father that makes me infu

  74. I met a girl on a matchmaking service as I could use a diversion for my time while overseas as a deployed soldier in Iraq. She and I spoke for six months online before I was able to come home and finally meet her. We talked about everything- including past relationships. She mentioned how she had lived with an older guy for three years when she turned 18, but that she broke it off because she thought he had cheated on her, he didn’t treat her well, and he wasn’t willing to settle down and marry her. Once we met, she and I fell in love and everything was great for the first several months of our relationship- I even moved in with her after leaving the Army.

    She introduced me to many of her friends, one of them a guy who we will call Rick. Rick was very nice to me, always buying me drinks, and he even offered me a job if I wanted it as I had just left the service. My GF had started a restaurant, and Rick’s contracting company did the majority of the work on the building because she had asked him to do it. Rick even had an office upstairs in the building for his contracting company- right next to my GF’s. When my GFs restaurant opened its doors, my GF hired Rick’s sister to be his bookkeeper- and I was also introduced by my GF to Rick’s entire family when they came in for dinner (which was fairly often). Rick helped bartend for the opening night of the restaurant. My GF was best friends with Rick’s brother’s wife, and my GF would always run to Rick when there were problems with the restaurant. There were several times when I found them upstairs together- alone, talking about things with the door closed. I had my suspicions, so I asked my GF how she got to know Rick- and she said he was just a friend she had known through her best friend (the one who was married to Rick’s brother).

    It wasn’t until we had been actually dating for six months (but talking for over a year) that I discovered the truth about my GF and Rick, just by casual conversation when someone told me he had given her a cheap rate on the construction for the restaurant because they had dated in the past. As I’m sure you know by now, Rick was the guy my GF had lived with for three years. I confronted her about it, and her response was that yes, they had lived together and dated, but that things between them were over. I told her I didn’t want her to talk to him anymore- but it was an impossible request. His sister worked for her, he had a contract for the office upstairs (so he would almost be guaranteed to see her every day for the next two years) and her best friend was married to his brother, so it would be hard for her to see her best friend without occasionally seeing him as well.

    I started snooping around to satisfy my curiosity. Even though it had been a couple years since they dated, she still had BOXES of photos of them together on beaches in Mexico and Jamaica- a place she and I were planning to go. She had an “I Love You” video she made for him still on her computer. There were no photos of any other person she dated- just pictures of those two together. When I confronted her about this, she did throw the pictures away, but only after I told her about them.

    My GF reassured me that there was nothing going on, and I believed her. Rick told me the same thing when he found out I knew. I don’t think she wants to date him, but I think that for whatever reason she likes having him around. It has been five months since I learned of this, and I still can’t get over it- how inconsiderate she was to put me in this situation, how she deceived me by lying about it/not telling me about it

  75. I know this is long but if you’re a reg, TC or professional, please consider reading this even if you don’t want to respond. I honestly don’t know what to do with myself. Many regs here know that I state that I am a qualified mental health practitioner. That is true – I would never lie about a qualification I do not have or pretend to be somebody I am not.

    I do not currently work in mental health because of a traumatic even 12 months ago. I was set-up by an angry ex-partner when I found out he was having an affair and threatened to tell his ‘other woman’.

    In order to stop me, he got me sectioned. Very easy for him to do as he was a police sergeant. It took one call and I was dragged off for no reason. He told them I was about to commit suicide. I was not. He just wanted me out of the way to buy himself time to protect himself.

    I was treated ok by the police, but horrendously by hospital staff including members of the crisis team and ward staff. My level of distress grew tenfold every day because they kept tricking me over and over, saying I only needed to stay one night then I could go, Three days later they were still holding me. I was crying and begging to be freed but they told me I could not go. The section had been lifted before I even got to hospital for assessment (yes, really!). They had no holding powers on me and they kept telling me I was there voluntarily. I was not. To this day in my notes it says I was there on a voluntary basis yet I tried everything to try to get out.

    They had told me I was not able to see a psychiatrist for another 12 days as they only visited the ward every 2 weeks. Being a mental health practitioner, I knew this was a lie and knew my legal rights and so I called a solicitor who visited the ward twice & told the staff they were holding me illegally. She told them they must either let me go or section me. On both occasions, the staff told her they would call a psychiatrist & get them to assess me that same day with a view to allowing me to go home, The solicitor would leave the ward, & the staff would NOT call a psychiatrist to come and talk to me, In fact they did nothing but lie and abuse me. I did not eat one single thing for five days and had less than two tiny cups of water each day. In fact it was only after I left that I realised that at no point did they offer me food. I was exhausted, weak, angry & actually began to feel genuinely suicidal over the captivity and deceit. I looked for ways to end my life and found none. I could not believe what was happening to me – as if finding out the man I’d been with for two years had been cheating the whole time, not ON me with WITH ME. I was his ‘other woman’ but neither his partner nor myself had any inkling. He lived a double life that whole time & now I was having to face this trauma which went against EVERYTHING I believed in.

    After several days, I actually escaped from the psychiatric ward. I can’t tell you how because I do not want to give vulnerable people who NEED to be in hospital ideas on how to get out, but escape I did. I jumped on the first bus I saw & fled to a train station and got many miles away. I hid there for two weeks, staying each night in a different hotel, paying for everything with cash so I could not be traced via bank statements.

    On three occasions I was returning to the hotels for the night after a day quite literally on the run and found police cars parked outside. I ran and hid until they left, convinced they had tracked me down and were waiting to transport me back to Hell behind locked doors.

    Eventually I returned home. The police turned up several minutes after I returned. It was a dumb cop probably too delirious from doughnut munching to care about his job. He found me eventually, hiding in my wardrobe. He didn’t even know the circumstances or that I was supposed to be in hospital. In fact he knew nothing except one of the neighbours had called the police after seeing me return. The police had apparently asked the neighbours to call 999 if any of them saw me, and one of them had. He didn’t know why he’d been sent. Somehow I managed to blag my way out of it and he left, clueless.

    Since then, I have had the biggest hatred for mental health services like you wouldn’t believe. My anger boils constantly because they have taken away my career – I can no longer work with other MH professionals because I trust NONE. My answers here on Yahoo Answers are my only way of exercising what I have learnt and my urge to help and advise others is as strong as it ever was.

    I feel traumatised by my experience. I will never and can never work with mental health services again, either as a patient or professional. My instinct to keep every tiny aspect of my life incredibly private is so strong that I barely talk to anybody now.

    What do I do? Please don’t suggest counselling – ANYTHING to do with MH. I am scared, angry and lost.

  76. I know this is long but if you’re a reg, TC or professional, please consider reading this even if you don’t want to respond. I honestly don’t know what to do with myself. Many regs here know that I state that I am a qualified mental health practitioner. That is true – I would never lie about a qualification I do not have or pretend to be somebody I am not.

    I do not currently work in mental health because of a traumatic even 12 months ago. I was set-up by an angry ex-partner when I found out he was having an affair and threatened to tell his ‘other woman’.

    In order to stop me, he got me sectioned. Very easy for him to do as he was a police sergeant. It took one call and I was dragged off for no reason. He told them I was about to commit suicide. I was not. He just wanted me out of the way to buy himself time to protect himself.

    I was treated ok by the police, but horrendously by hospital staff including members of the crisis team and ward staff. My level of distress grew tenfold every day because they kept tricking me over and over, saying I only needed to stay one night then I could go, Three days later they were still holding me. I was crying and begging to be freed but they told me I could not go. The section had been lifted before I even got to hospital for assessment (yes, really!). They had no holding powers on me and they kept telling me I was there voluntarily. I was not. To this day in my notes it says I was there on a voluntary basis yet I tried everything to try to get out.

    They had told me I was not able to see a psychiatrist for another 12 days as they only visited the ward every 2 weeks. Being a mental health practitioner, I knew this was rubbish and knew my legal rights and so I called a solicitor. She visited the ward twice and told the staff they were holding me illegally. She told them they must either let me go or section me. On both occasions, the staff told her they would call a psychiatrist and get them to assess me that same day with a view to allowing me to go home, The solicitor would leave the ward, and the staff would NOT call a psychiatrist to come and talk to me, In fact they did nothing but lie and abuse me. I did not eat one single thing for five days and had less than two tiny cups of water each day. In fact it was only after I left that I realised that at no point did they offer me food. I was exhausted, weak, angry and actually began to feel genuinely suicidal over the captivity and deceit. I looked for ways to end my life and found none. I could not believe what was happening to me – as if finding out the man I’d been with for two years had been cheating the whole time, not ON me with WITH ME. I was his ‘other woman’ but neither his partner nor myself had any inkling. He lived a double life that whole time and now I was having to face this trauma which went against EVERYTHING I’d been taught at university and every instict I had.

    After several days, I actually escaped from the psychiatric ward. I cannot tell you how because I do not want to give vulnerable people who NEED to be in hospital ideas on how to get out, but escape I did, and I jumped on the first bus I saw and fled to a train station and got many miles away. I hid there for two weeks, staying each night in a different hotel, paying for everything with cash so I could not be traced via bank statements.

    On three occasions I was returning to the hotels for the night after a day quite literally on the run and found police cars parked outside. I ran and hid until they left, convinced they had tracked me down and were waiting to transport me back to Hell behind locked doors.

    Eventually I returned home. The police turned up several minutes after I returned. It was a dumb cop probably too delirious from doughnut munching to care about his job. He found me eventually, hiding in my wardrobe. He didn’t even know the circumstances or that I was supposed to be in hospital. In fact he knew nothing except one of the neighbours had called the police after seeing me return. The police had apparently asked the neighbours to call 999 if any of them saw me, and one of them had. He didn’t know why he’d been sent. Somehow I managed to blag my way out of it and he left, clueless.

    Since then, I have had the biggest hatred for mental health services like you wouldn’t believe. My anger boils constantly because they have taken away my career – I can no longer work with other MH professionals because I trust NONE. My answers here on Yahoo Answers are my only way of exercising what I have learnt and my urge to help and advise others is as strong as it ever was.

    I feel traumatised by my experience. I will never and can never work with mental health services again, either as a patient or professional. My instinct to keep every tiny aspect of my life incredibly private is so strong that I barely talk to anybody now.

    What do I do? Please don’t suggest counse
    Sorry – counselling or anything to do with mental health. I am scared, angry and lost.
    DD, I’ll try to answer with not many characters!

    In the UK a psychiatrist MUST assess patient before discharge even if they are there voluntarily. Nobody can just walk out at any time. Legally if a vol. patient asks to leave, they need to call a psych during the day and ask them to come and eval with a view to discharge. Staff said they would call one, but then refused to do so. The solicitor would have been breaking the law trying to get me out without an eval.

    The unit was locked & staff on the door 24/7. I could not just walk out. Bars on windows, that kind of thing.

    I would have refused food regardless. I had not taken anything prior to admission & they do blood tests to check this. No meds/drugs/alcohol in system. ‘Inmates’ flocked to kitchen area at mealtimes but I was never called for a meal or told I had to eat. Nobody offered to bring toast to my room, for example. I refused to eat/sit with patients as I would be seen to be complying with their abuse & I was not a patient a
    I was not a patient and did not want a reputation of being amongst the others patients (I would not socialise in case of of them knew me!)

    Cannot go back and ‘get records’. Here you have to apply to see medical records and they only give you the very basic stuff that they don’t mind you reading. No way would info in there from that lock up be released to me.

    After I left I was hiding because I had escaped from a locked psychiatric ward. The police kept calling my mobile and leaving messages asking me to go back or meet them anywhere I wanted. I was on ‘red alert’ – what the cops call ‘high risk missing’ partly due to the state I was in when I left and partly due to absconding. It means police were out looking for me and could 136 me in the street and take me back if they found me (sectioning in a public place). I was not scared by the cop/ex. I knew he wouldn’t hurt me – we are not talking domestic violence. It’s abuse of power but he never ever physically hurt me in any way.
    DD, I’ll try to answer with not many characters!

    In the UK a psychiatrist MUST assess patient before discharge even if they are there voluntarily. Nobody can just walk out at any time. Legally if a vol. patient asks to leave, they need to call a psych during the day and ask them to come and eval with a view to discharge. Staff said they would call one, but then refused to do so. The solicitor would have been breaking the law trying to get me out without an eval.

    The unit was locked & staff on the door 24/7. I could not just walk out. Bars on windows, that kind of thing.

    I would have refused food regardless. I had not taken anything prior to admission & they do blood tests to check this. No meds/drugs/alcohol in system. ‘Inmates’ flocked to kitchen area at mealtimes but I was never called for a meal or told I had to eat. Nobody offered to bring toast to my room, for example. I refused to eat/sit with patients as I would be seen to be complying with their abuse & I was not a patient a

  77. I am preparing a training session for corporations regarding turnover and need to find out the appx cost to replace employees

  78. Hi I’m a 31 year old stay at home Mom with my adorable 13 month old daughter. I’ve been with my husband 5 years and I want to make our marriage work.We really need counseling to fix this and for us to both be happy and have both our needs met. I’m having a hard time getting my point thru to him. He just thinks he’s right and I’m wrong. He doesn’t believe a relationship needs constant work and it needs to be treated with the utmost care or it falls apart. He just thinks it is what it is and we don’t need professional help. I love him dearly but I’m having a hard time seeing us for many more years together unless theres a change. It’s actually pretty little work on his part. So this is my last resort, I’m going to quickly write down the basic problems and I’m so confused at this point, I’m asking for validation for my feelings. If any of u were in my shoes would u feel the same way? And feel free to tell me I’m wrong, whatever needs done to save our family I’ll do it but to live with quiet anger and resentment is not healthy.

    There’s three main issues. One is He works 60 to 70 hours a week and plays hockey 3 to 4 times a week. So I don’t really see him that much and when I do he’s worn out and tired or hungry or just want’s to relax. I said once maybe you could not go to hockey tonight and he took that as me taking him away from his passion.Thats so far from the truth, I would never want or ask him to quit. Thats a major problem with us in general. he constantly misunderstands me and it turns into a fight really fast.and part of me thinks if he knew me at all he wouldn’t misunderstand me so much. How can me wanting him to spend time with me turn into what I don’t even know because we have never ever talked thru and resolved a conflict. When we fight I feel like my big strong man turns into a child! Theres insults and back and forth and then he gets really vicious with his words and goes too far and hurts me. I end up with a stabbing pain in my heart that his little sentence that ended the fight will eventually end our marriage. i walk away, we stop fighting, it’s never cleared up or resolved because I guess we don’t know how. ( Hence why we need counseling) But if I were to go tell him that right now THAT would turn into a fight of why am I trying to ruin his day. The way he misunderstands me hurts as much as his deep comments. Because theres no reason for it, I’m so good to him. I’m always considerate of him, always do you want something dear you need something dear?What can I do for you? I would love if he returned a quarter of how I treat him. I def shown him by example.

    He’s a great provider and very generous with me, because he does make all the money and he works hard for us. I do appeciate that sooo much of course I do. That allows me to raise our child.

    The Hockey I think shouldn’t be more than 2 days a week.What marriage is healthy when the husband works 5 days until evening then plays up to four days. Any more than 2 days is just neglect. Neglect to our home and us and our child. but again he doesn’t see it that way.

    I don’t understand. When I used to work I couldn’t wait to get home to see him, I wouldn’t actually make plans with a friend until I found out what he was doing first. But he’s the opposite he makes plans for himself and sometimes us then tells me about it. It infurriates me that he doesn’t check with me. He doesn’t know the reason why he has to tell me.

    I do all the cooking and cleaning and housework and In five years he’s never done a load of launry or picked his clothes up or cleaned a dish or watched our daughter for more than an hour. And Ok there’s the argument that that’s my job and he does his job but I said to him my job is 24/7. I never get a break. Can u offer to watch our daughter for a couple hours Once? Or offer to change her or bathe her or play with her. He loves her so much I know he does really so why do I have to force him to do these things. And when he does do them because I’ve made him he acts helpless and he can’t handle it and saying oh she wants her Mommy she needs you, oh my back hurts take her. And he want’s more kids! If the father works really hard doesn’t he still owe a minimum amount of just bonding with his kid? I feel like our relationship has morphed into a 50’s the woman does this and the Man does this. I feel like a single Mom most days. We need help, what can I do? what can I say to get him to understand?

  79. i am nearly blinde, not completely but nearly. i just went to my gonna be high school to take the placement testing with all the other eighth graders. sinc e i am nearly blinde, my braille teacher signed me up to get a large print test booklit, no big deal right? well they all turned it into something bigger than it was, very insulting. so i had to go and tell some lady that i needed a large print test booklit, so i said “i’ve been signed up to use a large print test booklit”
    the lady goes. “you mean you need special accomidations.”
    “no, just a large print test booklit.”
    “no that would be considered special accomidations, come with me” she made me stand off to the side, with all the kids in special ed, and yes, i am in special ed, but TO READ BRAILLE not becuase i can’t comprehend the stuff they through at me, i am in all the gifted classes, and i’m planning on being advanced placement, in everything in high school.
    so i am standing their with all the support kids, and i ask “am i going to be in the room i was assigned too?” because that was really important to me, not to be seperated from my friend, who i was getting a ride home with, (we have the same last initial, so we were in the same room)
    and she said “we’ll see”
    she looked for my name on her list, and couldn’t find it, i told her “thats because i am not supposed to be here, i am supposed to be in s229.”
    she goes in a high pitched talking slow, almost parent ease voice “don’t worry, we’ll get you tested, just sit down iin here.”
    “but i am not supposed to be in here.”
    “yeah, i know, we’ll figure it out” same voice.
    then they would not let me fill out the forms myself, there was one wehre we were supposed to mark in all our grades this year in our classes, i told the lady that i get a’s in everything. and she was all “good job, you must be smart” then they asked if we were in excelerated classes, she almost filled in no, before i told her that i was in excelerated classes. they locked me in a room, with the lady, to mark the answers for me. that is what they do for the all blind kids, i told them over and over again, that i don’t need that, i can see. really i can. but nope, it was really offending, how they forced me to do this stuff. so i answer the first test, and the lady, makes me give her a high five, and she tells me “good job,” in the high pitched parent ease voice, and i give her a weak, please don’t talk to me in that tone, voice. this happened three more times with the three tests, and by this time, i was feeling very offended that they assumed that i was not smart enough to be in excelerated, and that i was in the room for other reasons, by the time i was in sixth grade, i was making accomadations for myself by myself, that they trained me to do in grade school, so all of this was really offending.
    then i finished, the science portion, and she said, “congradulations, your done, you can go home now.” i look at her like she’s the one who’s being treated meantly ill, and say, “no, i am staying for the writing portion” which is what you have to stay for to get into AP writing, which of coarse is very important to me, they just assumed i wasn’t going to take it, they didn’t even offer it to me. which is offending, but then the other lady, that made come in there at all, said to me, “you know, you don’t have to take it.” in the parent ease voice
    i say, “i know, but i want to be in A P English.” and she rolls her eyes at me and says, “if you want too.” in a ‘waisting your time’ kind of way.
    so i take this test and get out of their, and she asks me if i wanted to use the schools phone to call my mom, now i know, from talking to the special ed kids, (lots of them are friends of mine, out of coincidence) and they have hard families, lots of them don’t even have mothers, and i think she shouldn’t have said that, i nearly said, “no, i can’t call her, she’s dead.” but i didn’t because i don’t have the guts, so i walked out of there, feeling really angry that people would treat me like that, slump me with the support kids. my dad said i should have protested against taking the test, he said that might even cause me to get a lower test grade, my mom thinks that she will call some poeple and figure out who did it, so that she can get them in trouble for discrimination, lots of people do things like that to me, and usually, i can just move right past it, but this time,. its really burning. what do you think i should do? nothing rude please.
    i don’t have a 504, but i do have an iep, and they just call it special ed just the same, becuase my braille teacher works for a company run by special ed, and that doesn’t really help me with discrimination, or high school placement testing.
    I have all the things that you list, and i do know about my terrible spelling, S just one of those regular problems i have to work on, and it doesn’t help that i type faster than i should (about 80 wpm ranther than 50 wpm) and i have a really old keyboard, about as old as me, but thanks for reminding me, and being considerate, but in future, i read bad spelling better than anyone, because, i use it.

  80. Step daughter is 23 with a kid. She graduated college 18 mos ago. She had a baby, has never worked a day in her life. My husband has been paying for everything. He is now regretting it. It is debilitating her. She lives with the belief that she does not have to work and she can use anyone anyway she wants. My husband is likely going to be laid off. It dawned on me today that he basically treated her like his wife (without the spousal duties). He has 3 kids. He bought her a brand new car, a 1000 dollar great dane, designer everything, a condo, top notch furniture. all she has to do is well – nothing. He pays Cobra Insurance for her because she is a grown up and the insurance lapsed.

    She has been fighting custody over the baby with the father, but really all they (the father of the baby) want is standard visitation. She lives in another state and we have asked her to come home but she won’t because of one reason or another (including the father of the baby won’t allow it). We told her she could come live here, but who would want to leave a spacious condo with cherry hardwood floors to live in a crowded house, right? We offered that we could watch the baby while she works if she moves down here. She said no, she was going to go to graduate school.

    She wants the father of the baby not to have any rights whatsoever, so she wants about $10,000 to pay for a lawyer. My husband said he is no longer going to pay her way and that he agrees that he has been allowing her to live in a fantasy world and he wants to stop doing this.

    She was just hired for a job for $15 an hour and full benefits, he would have been willing to continue making house payments to help her out until she could get on her feet, but she turned down the job because she felt that daycare would be traumatic on the 10 month old baby. Then she called back and said she just bought a GPS navigation system for 200 bucks and could dad please put money in her account! I was floored. I have been in the situation of having a child alone and I never in my wildest dreams would have thought to have bought a “luxury” item, especially when it was not needed.

    I am also worried because she is so set on being able to give her infant daughter psychotic meds because she thinks that the child may need it in the future and does not want the father of this infant to have any say so. I just have this feeling like my husband is going behind my back and going to give her money the minute she starts crying. She refuses to accept any responsibility. She won’t get a job. She makes excuses, she is manipulative and she knows exactly what to say to get money from her dad. He doesn’t have a backbone where she’s concerned. When he tells her to do something, he says it in a manner that sounds more like he is afraid to get through to her she cannot carry on like this. He is afraid of losing her.

    She honestly believes that the salary my husband makes is her salary. She acts as though she has the same rights as a spouse. My husband and I have talked but I am having serious doubts that he will follow through.

    She calls him an a-hole and then turns around and talks about him dying and tells him that since he married me, if affects her inheritance. They sat at Thanksgiving Dinner and told their dad that he needed to go die basically. But he does not hear what his kids tell him or basically takes it as a joke. My kids have never told me to go die (maybe go to hell, but not die). Then she started in that the dishes that were given to him in his first wife’s marriage (she deceased) and that she wants them and is entitled to them. He bought many of the pieces to make it a complete set. We would likely have given them to her later, but she feels some direct and immediate entitlement to them.

    So today I heard her talking about my five year and making accusations that were not true and I just yelled at my husband who was ever so nicely telling her she was not being appropriate, I told her to take care of herself and her child and quit manipulating her father. He got mad at me because she hung up on him. I told him I did not care to hear anymore because all she does is talk. I am thinking I should get a job albeit it would be considerably less than what he could make, but I may end up having to leave because I am really having a hard time thinking I could live with this. I had not realized he is basically married to this child, who thinks she has entitlement.

    I have been through a lot of sad times, I have been through rough times. My parents were well off and did not offer me a “bail out” I went through college nursing a child and working. I did not get ammenities like a PC to type my papers I had to drive over an hour to get to a computer and usually had to stay up 3-4 days at a time during finals weeks. I don’t desire more money or “things” for myself. I can take care of myself. It’s the attitude of this girl and the way she treats her father that makes me infu

  81. I know this is long but if you’re a reg, TC or professional, please consider reading this even if you don’t want to respond. I honestly don’t know what to do with myself. Many regs here know that I state that I am a qualified mental health practitioner. That is true – I would never lie about a qualification I do not have or pretend to be somebody I am not.

    I do not currently work in mental health because of a traumatic even 12 months ago. I was set-up by an angry ex-partner when I found out he was having an affair and threatened to tell his ‘other woman’.

    In order to stop me, he got me sectioned. Very easy for him to do as he was a police sergeant. It took one call and I was dragged off for no reason. He told them I was about to commit suicide. I was not. He just wanted me out of the way to buy himself time to protect himself.

    I was treated ok by the police, but horrendously by hospital staff including members of the crisis team and ward staff. My level of distress grew tenfold every day because they kept tricking me over and over, saying I only needed to stay one night then I could go, Three days later they were still holding me. I was crying and begging to be freed but they told me I could not go. The section had been lifted before I even got to hospital for assessment (yes, really!). They had no holding powers on me and they kept telling me I was there voluntarily. I was not. To this day in my notes it says I was there on a voluntary basis yet I tried everything to try to get out.

    They had told me I was not able to see a psychiatrist for another 12 days as they only visited the ward every 2 weeks. Being a mental health practitioner, I knew this was rubbish and knew my legal rights and so I called a solicitor. She visited the ward twice and told the staff they were holding me illegally. She told them they must either let me go or section me. On both occasions, the staff told her they would call a psychiatrist and get them to assess me that same day with a view to allowing me to go home, The solicitor would leave the ward, and the staff would NOT call a psychiatrist to come and talk to me, In fact they did nothing but lie and abuse me. I did not eat one single thing for five days and had less than two tiny cups of water each day. In fact it was only after I left that I realised that at no point did they offer me food. I was exhausted, weak, angry and actually began to feel genuinely suicidal over the captivity and deceit. I looked for ways to end my life and found none. I could not believe what was happening to me – as if finding out the man I’d been with for two years had been cheating the whole time, not ON me with WITH ME. I was his ‘other woman’ but neither his partner nor myself had any inkling. He lived a double life that whole time and now I was having to face this trauma which went against EVERYTHING I’d been taught at university and every instict I had.

    After several days, I actually escaped from the psychiatric ward. I cannot tell you how because I do not want to give vulnerable people who NEED to be in hospital ideas on how to get out, but escape I did, and I jumped on the first bus I saw and fled to a train station and got many miles away. I hid there for two weeks, staying each night in a different hotel, paying for everything with cash so I could not be traced via bank statements.

    On three occasions I was returning to the hotels for the night after a day quite literally on the run and found police cars parked outside. I ran and hid until they left, convinced they had tracked me down and were waiting to transport me back to Hell behind locked doors.

    Eventually I returned home. The police turned up several minutes after I returned. It was a dumb cop probably too delirious from doughnut munching to care about his job. He found me eventually, hiding in my wardrobe. He didn’t even know the circumstances or that I was supposed to be in hospital. In fact he knew nothing except one of the neighbours had called the police after seeing me return. The police had apparently asked the neighbours to call 999 if any of them saw me, and one of them had. He didn’t know why he’d been sent. Somehow I managed to blag my way out of it and he left, clueless.

    Since then, I have had the biggest hatred for mental health services like you wouldn’t believe. My anger boils constantly because they have taken away my career – I can no longer work with other MH professionals because I trust NONE. My answers here on Yahoo Answers are my only way of exercising what I have learnt and my urge to help and advise others is as strong as it ever was.

    I feel traumatised by my experience. I will never and can never work with mental health services again, either as a patient or professional. My instinct to keep every tiny aspect of my life incredibly private is so strong that I barely talk to anybody now.

    What do I do? Please don’t suggest counse
    Sorry – counselling or anything to do with mental health. I am scared, angry and lost.
    DD, I’ll try to answer with not many characters!

    In the UK a psychiatrist MUST assess patient before discharge even if they are there voluntarily. Nobody can just walk out at any time. Legally if a vol. patient asks to leave, they need to call a psych during the day and ask them to come and eval with a view to discharge. Staff said they would call one, but then refused to do so. The solicitor would have been breaking the law trying to get me out without an eval.

    The unit was locked & staff on the door 24/7. I could not just walk out. Bars on windows, that kind of thing.

    I would have refused food regardless. I had not taken anything prior to admission & they do blood tests to check this. No meds/drugs/alcohol in system. ‘Inmates’ flocked to kitchen area at mealtimes but I was never called for a meal or told I had to eat. Nobody offered to bring toast to my room, for example. I refused to eat/sit with patients as I would be seen to be complying with their abuse & I was not a patient a
    I was not a patient and did not want a reputation of being amongst the others patients (I would not socialise in case of of them knew me!)

    Cannot go back and ‘get records’. Here you have to apply to see medical records and they only give you the very basic stuff that they don’t mind you reading. No way would info in there from that lock up be released to me.

    After I left I was hiding because I had escaped from a locked psychiatric ward. The police kept calling my mobile and leaving messages asking me to go back or meet them anywhere I wanted. I was on ‘red alert’ – what the cops call ‘high risk missing’ partly due to the state I was in when I left and partly due to absconding. It means police were out looking for me and could 136 me in the street and take me back if they found me (sectioning in a public place). I was not scared by the cop/ex. I knew he wouldn’t hurt me – we are not talking domestic violence. It’s abuse of power but he never ever physically hurt me in any way.
    DD, I’ll try to answer with not many characters!

    In the UK a psychiatrist MUST assess patient before discharge even if they are there voluntarily. Nobody can just walk out at any time. Legally if a vol. patient asks to leave, they need to call a psych during the day and ask them to come and eval with a view to discharge. Staff said they would call one, but then refused to do so. The solicitor would have been breaking the law trying to get me out without an eval.

    The unit was locked & staff on the door 24/7. I could not just walk out. Bars on windows, that kind of thing.

    I would have refused food regardless. I had not taken anything prior to admission & they do blood tests to check this. No meds/drugs/alcohol in system. ‘Inmates’ flocked to kitchen area at mealtimes but I was never called for a meal or told I had to eat. Nobody offered to bring toast to my room, for example. I refused to eat/sit with patients as I would be seen to be complying with their abuse & I was not a patient a

  82. Step daughter is 23 with a kid. She graduated college 18 mos ago. She had a baby, has never worked a day in her life. My husband has been paying for everything. He is now regretting it. It is debilitating her. She lives with the belief that she does not have to work and she can use anyone anyway she wants. My husband is likely going to be laid off. It dawned on me today that he basically treated her like his wife (without the spousal duties). He has 3 kids. He bought her a brand new car, a 1000 dollar great dane, designer everything, a condo, top notch furniture. all she has to do is well – nothing. He pays Cobra Insurance for her because she is a grown up and the insurance lapsed.

    She has been fighting custody over the baby with the father, but really all they (the father of the baby) want is standard visitation. She lives in another state and we have asked her to come home but she won’t because of one reason or another (including the father of the baby won’t allow it). We told her she could come live here, but who would want to leave a spacious condo with cherry hardwood floors to live in a crowded house, right? We offered that we could watch the baby while she works if she moves down here. She said no, she was going to go to graduate school.

    She wants the father of the baby not to have any rights whatsoever, so she wants about $10,000 to pay for a lawyer. My husband said he is no longer going to pay her way and that he agrees that he has been allowing her to live in a fantasy world and he wants to stop doing this.

    She was just hired for a job for $15 an hour and full benefits, he would have been willing to continue making house payments to help her out until she could get on her feet, but she turned down the job because she felt that daycare would be traumatic on the 10 month old baby. Then she called back and said she just bought a GPS navigation system for 200 bucks and could dad please put money in her account! I was floored. I have been in the situation of having a child alone and I never in my wildest dreams would have thought to have bought a “luxury” item, especially when it was not needed.

    I am also worried because she is so set on being able to give her infant daughter psychotic meds because she thinks that the child may need it in the future and does not want the father of this infant to have any say so. I just have this feeling like my husband is going behind my back and going to give her money the minute she starts crying. She refuses to accept any responsibility. She won’t get a job. She makes excuses, she is manipulative and she knows exactly what to say to get money from her dad. He doesn’t have a backbone where she’s concerned. When he tells her to do something, he says it in a manner that sounds more like he is afraid to get through to her she cannot carry on like this. He is afraid of losing her.

    She honestly believes that the salary my husband makes is her salary. She acts as though she has the same rights as a spouse. My husband and I have talked but I am having serious doubts that he will follow through.

    She calls him an a-hole and then turns around and talks about him dying and tells him that since he married me, if affects her inheritance. They sat at Thanksgiving Dinner and told their dad that he needed to go die basically. But he does not hear what his kids tell him or basically takes it as a joke. My kids have never told me to go die (maybe go to hell, but not die). Then she started in that the dishes that were given to him in his first wife’s marriage (she deceased) and that she wants them and is entitled to them. He bought many of the pieces to make it a complete set. We would likely have given them to her later, but she feels some direct and immediate entitlement to them.

    So today I heard her talking about my five year and making accusations that were not true and I just yelled at my husband who was ever so nicely telling her she was not being appropriate, I told her to take care of herself and her child and quit manipulating her father. He got mad at me because she hung up on him. I told him I did not care to hear anymore because all she does is talk. I am thinking I should get a job albeit it would be considerably less than what he could make, but I may end up having to leave because I am really having a hard time thinking I could live with this. I had not realized he is basically married to this child, who thinks she has entitlement.

    I have been through a lot of sad times, I have been through rough times. My parents were well off and did not offer me a “bail out” I went through college nursing a child and working. I did not get ammenities like a PC to type my papers I had to drive over an hour to get to a computer and usually had to stay up 3-4 days at a time during finals weeks. I don’t desire more money or “things” for myself. I can take care of myself. It’s the attitude of this girl and the way she treats her father that makes me infu

  83. I did ask a similar question but it was only for the last 2-3 paragraphs and I think that people thought that it was the begining, well heres the whole thing at the moment. Lastly I know that to older people it may not apeal, but this is a story for teens etc, so that may be the reason why. I know my grammar isn’t perfect and I understand that.

    Preface

    My name is Chezney Wilson. I’m not some famous celebrity chased by the paparazzi that you see tend to always see nowadays. I’m not even some random wannabe that tags along with the largest crowds just to be noticed and appreciated. I don’t want to be any of those people. I just want to be a normal and regular guy, that tries to help others as much as he can. Who does his best to try and make the world just that little better. Well I thought that I was just a normal and regular guy, but as it turned out, there was more to me then even I knew.

    Chapter One

    A New Start

    Being a lonely child and having your parents split up is incredibly hard. First of all, your most likely going to be confused, hurt and scared as you have no idea for if it is your fathers fault, your mothers or maybe even yours. That’s immediately how I felt when my parents got divorced, and these were my exact feelings on the twenty sixth of may, two thousand and ten, five days before my eighteenth birthday, when I found myself sitting beside my Dad, Harry Wilson, in the front passenger seat of his shiny new black Porsche. My Dad is kind of rich; he had a big job in a hospital. Actually he was known as the best doctor in all Seattle which I think that this was the problem, that my Mom, didn’t think that my Dad spent enough time at home. However now that we had left Seattle; due to both his and my Mom’s, final decision. My Dad has been offered a new job as the chief doctor in Traverse City, Michigan. I don’t really pay any attention to the fact that my Dad earns a great deal of money each year, as cash isn’t really everything, its really all about what you want to do in life. That is why in the backseat, my bass guitar is safely lieing down on a few fully packed suitcases. Music is just one of the subjects that I fully enjoy, to me life without music is simply unbearable, I play guitar and sometimes only when I’m alone, I tend to sing a little. When school is involved, I’m not exactly the cleverest in my classes, I guess you can say that I’m an average B plus student. I put a lot of effort into my education as its important and a few good grades, can make nice decorations on the kitchen refrigerator.
    After a another slow two and a half hour drive, we soon started to arrive at the city’s entrance. Feeling extremely bored due to the lack of activity, I gazed into the small side view mirror and took a good look at my appearance, ready for when we finally got out of the car. As I swept my long and dark fringe away from my right eye, my hard, piercing and still a little upset, blue eye slowly blinked back in my direction. Apart from the clear signs of lack of sleep that had started to creep around the bottom of both of my eyes, they seemed to both looked perfectly fine.
    “That’s what you need, plenty of sleep,” remarked my Dad suddenly, still keeping his eyes on the busy road in front of us as we slowly came to a short bend. This remark sounded strange because apart from the quick, ‘Are you ready?’ he had asked before we had left, this was the first thing that he had said throughout the whole trip.
    “Maybe,” I muttered, not taking any notice of what he had just said. As I looked away from the side view mirror, I managed to catch a small glimpse of the city’s tall welcome sign, as it towered above us for just a quick a second. Feeling awkward, he slowly shuffled around in his seat and then took a quick sip of his strong smelling black coffee. Wanting to avoid this awkward moment, I looked out of my window and noticed that there were a lot of people and stores flashing by, then there had been around five minutes ago.
    As we gradually began to drive deeper into the city, it soon became to feel incredibly boring. For no apparent reason, I tightly closed my eyes and reopened them five minutes later, to find that we had just left the city and now started to pass the most beautiful looking beach that I had ever seen. As if the beach was somehow controlling me, I rolled down my window, allowing a gentle breeze to enter, so that I could see everything even more clearly. Everything about the beach looked amazing its golden sand as it glinted in the strong sun light and the clear deep blue water.
    “I knew that you would like this place,” Dad eagerly remarked, as he took a quick and hopeful look in my direction. Without answering, I knew inside that he was right, this place was extreme. “Kind of beautiful isn’t it?” he asked, as we stopped at a set of lights, to let a group of laughing teens, carrying surf boards, cross the road. Giving the beach one last look, I turned to look at Dad, as I

  84. my mom has attempted suicide again. I found Christ when I was expecting my son, I repented for my lifestyle and being unmarried. Five years later I started to date, sinned with two men I though each I was going to marry and had to repent so fully I know I will never do so again, by the grace of our the holy spirit, Jesus Christ and our holy God. My mom since she was young, she had a horrible, unmentionable childhood and was suicidal since younger, I thought she was doing better but has tried to drink and take pills about three to four times since I knew about her tries when I was 14. I feel bad I depended on her for a place to live and money with my son so I could raise him but I guess I thought because she had a lot of money it was okay and she was helping me financiallly so I could be there raise him to have love and follow Jesus and God. I have given her money, usually in a lump sum, but she was also generous. I tried to help her by being there for her also. I finallly moved out in the end of February again, this time to my own place, thanks to God. My son broke his arm and I had a problem with the first apartment but I did not ask her for money, but stayed with her a few days in between after she said she wanted us to. I also borrowed her car, to take my son to a bone doctor that was too far for my car, because she offered. I realize I should have said no. Anyway, she has other things going on, she can’t keep a job for some reason and she left one in December because her boss wasn’t nice or good and has been turned down a lot. She also has problems with most of our family members she says it is all our fault, because her three kids and family members never help her. I have tried to. I tell her I love her and Jesus and God loves her and she scoffs at me and tells me to go away. She is running out of money because she had about 15,000 since January but it is dwindling. So she said she was going to commit suicide and can’t take it (she says this a lot) but she had a will notarized last week and sent what was very like a suicde letter through email to my brother. That night I called 911 because she told me goodbye and tell my son to live a good life and she is sorry she wasn’t a good mother and we are all ungrateful and goodbye to everyone.

    I called 911 they took her to a hospital, and then a mental hospital for one day. She got out and told me and my brother to never contact her again. I thought she was mad, but hopefull she got past those dire feelings. She called her mom and cousin and said basically we made it up, she just sent that letter in case and she wouldn’t do anything to commit suicide. We were upset but relieved she was alive. Then she texted my uncle, goodbye the next day in a way where he was really worried so he called the police, they found her in the bathroom. She had slit her wrist. They said she had three minutes I am told, she was in ICU. Yesterday she was transferred to a regular room, I went to see her in ICU told her I loved her, Jesus and God lover her and we want her to feel better. She told me leave, get out, go away. I did. My 15 year old sister wanted to see her the next day. I went to support her and her dad, my stepfather before the divorce, and she asked to see my son after. I let her talk to him because she has done a lot for him, then she was really angry started yelling and being mean to me, so I left with him. She is angry with us, says it is the people around hers fault. They can’t tell us how she is now because she won’t let them by law, and is being rude. I am worried they will let her go, I don’t know what to do. I put it in the hands of God and pray for salvaiton in Jesus Christ to save her. I don’t know what else should be done

  85. I know this is long but if you’re a reg, TC or professional, please consider reading this even if you don’t want to respond. I honestly don’t know what to do with myself. Many regs here know that I state that I am a qualified mental health practitioner. That is true – I would never lie about a qualification I do not have or pretend to be somebody I am not.

    I do not currently work in mental health because of a traumatic even 12 months ago. I was set-up by an angry ex-partner when I found out he was having an affair and threatened to tell his ‘other woman’.

    In order to stop me, he got me sectioned. Very easy for him to do as he was a police sergeant. It took one call and I was dragged off for no reason. He told them I was about to commit suicide. I was not. He just wanted me out of the way to buy himself time to protect himself.

    I was treated ok by the police, but horrendously by hospital staff including members of the crisis team and ward staff. My level of distress grew tenfold every day because they kept tricking me over and over, saying I only needed to stay one night then I could go, Three days later they were still holding me. I was crying and begging to be freed but they told me I could not go. The section had been lifted before I even got to hospital for assessment (yes, really!). They had no holding powers on me and they kept telling me I was there voluntarily. I was not. To this day in my notes it says I was there on a voluntary basis yet I tried everything to try to get out.

    They had told me I was not able to see a psychiatrist for another 12 days as they only visited the ward every 2 weeks. Being a mental health practitioner, I knew this was rubbish and knew my legal rights and so I called a solicitor. She visited the ward twice and told the staff they were holding me illegally. She told them they must either let me go or section me. On both occasions, the staff told her they would call a psychiatrist and get them to assess me that same day with a view to allowing me to go home, The solicitor would leave the ward, and the staff would NOT call a psychiatrist to come and talk to me, In fact they did nothing but lie and abuse me. I did not eat one single thing for five days and had less than two tiny cups of water each day. In fact it was only after I left that I realised that at no point did they offer me food. I was exhausted, weak, angry and actually began to feel genuinely suicidal over the captivity and deceit. I looked for ways to end my life and found none. I could not believe what was happening to me – as if finding out the man I’d been with for two years had been cheating the whole time, not ON me with WITH ME. I was his ‘other woman’ but neither his partner nor myself had any inkling. He lived a double life that whole time and now I was having to face this trauma which went against EVERYTHING I’d been taught at university and every instict I had.

    After several days, I actually escaped from the psychiatric ward. I cannot tell you how because I do not want to give vulnerable people who NEED to be in hospital ideas on how to get out, but escape I did, and I jumped on the first bus I saw and fled to a train station and got many miles away. I hid there for two weeks, staying each night in a different hotel, paying for everything with cash so I could not be traced via bank statements.

    On three occasions I was returning to the hotels for the night after a day quite literally on the run and found police cars parked outside. I ran and hid until they left, convinced they had tracked me down and were waiting to transport me back to Hell behind locked doors.

    Eventually I returned home. The police turned up several minutes after I returned. It was a dumb cop probably too delirious from doughnut munching to care about his job. He found me eventually, hiding in my wardrobe. He didn’t even know the circumstances or that I was supposed to be in hospital. In fact he knew nothing except one of the neighbours had called the police after seeing me return. The police had apparently asked the neighbours to call 999 if any of them saw me, and one of them had. He didn’t know why he’d been sent. Somehow I managed to blag my way out of it and he left, clueless.

    Since then, I have had the biggest hatred for mental health services like you wouldn’t believe. My anger boils constantly because they have taken away my career – I can no longer work with other MH professionals because I trust NONE. My answers here on Yahoo Answers are my only way of exercising what I have learnt and my urge to help and advise others is as strong as it ever was.

    I feel traumatised by my experience. I will never and can never work with mental health services again, either as a patient or professional. My instinct to keep every tiny aspect of my life incredibly private is so strong that I barely talk to anybody now.

    What do I do? Please don’t suggest counse
    Sorry – counselling or anything to do with mental health. I am scared, angry and lost.
    DD, I’ll try to answer with not many characters!

    In the UK a psychiatrist MUST assess patient before discharge even if they are there voluntarily. Nobody can just walk out at any time. Legally if a vol. patient asks to leave, they need to call a psych during the day and ask them to come and eval with a view to discharge. Staff said they would call one, but then refused to do so. The solicitor would have been breaking the law trying to get me out without an eval.

    The unit was locked & staff on the door 24/7. I could not just walk out. Bars on windows, that kind of thing.

    I would have refused food regardless. I had not taken anything prior to admission & they do blood tests to check this. No meds/drugs/alcohol in system. ‘Inmates’ flocked to kitchen area at mealtimes but I was never called for a meal or told I had to eat. Nobody offered to bring toast to my room, for example. I refused to eat/sit with patients as I would be seen to be complying with their abuse & I was not a patient a
    I was not a patient and did not want a reputation of being amongst the others patients (I would not socialise in case of of them knew me!)

    Cannot go back and ‘get records’. Here you have to apply to see medical records and they only give you the very basic stuff that they don’t mind you reading. No way would info in there from that lock up be released to me.

    After I left I was hiding because I had escaped from a locked psychiatric ward. The police kept calling my mobile and leaving messages asking me to go back or meet them anywhere I wanted. I was on ‘red alert’ – what the cops call ‘high risk missing’ partly due to the state I was in when I left and partly due to absconding. It means police were out looking for me and could 136 me in the street and take me back if they found me (sectioning in a public place). I was not scared by the cop/ex. I knew he wouldn’t hurt me – we are not talking domestic violence. It’s abuse of power but he never ever physically hurt me in any way.
    DD, I’ll try to answer with not many characters!

    In the UK a psychiatrist MUST assess patient before discharge even if they are there voluntarily. Nobody can just walk out at any time. Legally if a vol. patient asks to leave, they need to call a psych during the day and ask them to come and eval with a view to discharge. Staff said they would call one, but then refused to do so. The solicitor would have been breaking the law trying to get me out without an eval.

    The unit was locked & staff on the door 24/7. I could not just walk out. Bars on windows, that kind of thing.

    I would have refused food regardless. I had not taken anything prior to admission & they do blood tests to check this. No meds/drugs/alcohol in system. ‘Inmates’ flocked to kitchen area at mealtimes but I was never called for a meal or told I had to eat. Nobody offered to bring toast to my room, for example. I refused to eat/sit with patients as I would be seen to be complying with their abuse & I was not a patient a

  86. I did ask a similar question but it was only for the last 2-3 paragraphs and I think that people thought that it was the begining, well heres the whole thing at the moment. Lastly I know that to older people it may not apeal, but this is a story for teens etc, so that may be the reason why. I know my grammar isn’t perfect and I understand that.

    Preface

    My name is Chezney Wilson. I’m not some famous celebrity chased by the paparazzi that you see tend to always see nowadays. I’m not even some random wannabe that tags along with the largest crowds just to be noticed and appreciated. I don’t want to be any of those people. I just want to be a normal and regular guy, that tries to help others as much as he can. Who does his best to try and make the world just that little better. Well I thought that I was just a normal and regular guy, but as it turned out, there was more to me then even I knew.

    Chapter One

    A New Start

    Being a lonely child and having your parents split up is incredibly hard. First of all, your most likely going to be confused, hurt and scared as you have no idea for if it is your fathers fault, your mothers or maybe even yours. That’s immediately how I felt when my parents got divorced, and these were my exact feelings on the twenty sixth of may, two thousand and ten, five days before my eighteenth birthday, when I found myself sitting beside my Dad, Harry Wilson, in the front passenger seat of his shiny new black Porsche. My Dad is kind of rich; he had a big job in a hospital. Actually he was known as the best doctor in all Seattle which I think that this was the problem, that my Mom, didn’t think that my Dad spent enough time at home. However now that we had left Seattle; due to both his and my Mom’s, final decision. My Dad has been offered a new job as the chief doctor in Traverse City, Michigan. I don’t really pay any attention to the fact that my Dad earns a great deal of money each year, as cash isn’t really everything, its really all about what you want to do in life. That is why in the backseat, my bass guitar is safely lieing down on a few fully packed suitcases. Music is just one of the subjects that I fully enjoy, to me life without music is simply unbearable, I play guitar and sometimes only when I’m alone, I tend to sing a little. When school is involved, I’m not exactly the cleverest in my classes, I guess you can say that I’m an average B plus student. I put a lot of effort into my education as its important and a few good grades, can make nice decorations on the kitchen refrigerator.
    After a another slow two and a half hour drive, we soon started to arrive at the city’s entrance. Feeling extremely bored due to the lack of activity, I gazed into the small side view mirror and took a good look at my appearance, ready for when we finally got out of the car. As I swept my long and dark fringe away from my right eye, my hard, piercing and still a little upset, blue eye slowly blinked back in my direction. Apart from the clear signs of lack of sleep that had started to creep around the bottom of both of my eyes, they seemed to both looked perfectly fine.
    “That’s what you need, plenty of sleep,” remarked my Dad suddenly, still keeping his eyes on the busy road in front of us as we slowly came to a short bend. This remark sounded strange because apart from the quick, ‘Are you ready?’ he had asked before we had left, this was the first thing that he had said throughout the whole trip.
    “Maybe,” I muttered, not taking any notice of what he had just said. As I looked away from the side view mirror, I managed to catch a small glimpse of the city’s tall welcome sign, as it towered above us for just a quick a second. Feeling awkward, he slowly shuffled around in his seat and then took a quick sip of his strong smelling black coffee. Wanting to avoid this awkward moment, I looked out of my window and noticed that there were a lot of people and stores flashing by, then there had been around five minutes ago.
    As we gradually began to drive deeper into the city, it soon became to feel incredibly boring. For no apparent reason, I tightly closed my eyes and reopened them five minutes later, to find that we had just left the city and now started to pass the most beautiful looking beach that I had ever seen. As if the beach was somehow controlling me, I rolled down my window, allowing a gentle breeze to enter, so that I could see everything even more clearly. Everything about the beach looked amazing its golden sand as it glinted in the strong sun light and the clear deep blue water.
    “I knew that you would like this place,” Dad eagerly remarked, as he took a quick and hopeful look in my direction. Without answering, I knew inside that he was right, this place was extreme. “Kind of beautiful isn’t it?” he asked, as we stopped at a set of lights, to let a group of laughing teens, carrying surf boards, cross the road. Giving the beach one last look, I turned to look at Dad, as I

  87. I met a girl on a matchmaking service as I could use a diversion for my time while overseas as a deployed soldier in Iraq. She and I spoke for six months online before I was able to come home and finally meet her. We talked about everything- including past relationships. She mentioned how she had lived with an older guy for three years when she turned 18, but that she broke it off because she thought he had cheated on her, he didn’t treat her well, and he wasn’t willing to settle down and marry her. Once we met, she and I fell in love and everything was great for the first several months of our relationship- I even moved in with her after leaving the Army.

    She introduced me to many of her friends, one of them a guy who we will call Rick. Rick was very nice to me, always buying me drinks, and he even offered me a job if I wanted it as I had just left the service. My GF had started a restaurant, and Rick’s contracting company did the majority of the work on the building because she had asked him to do it. Rick even had an office upstairs in the building for his contracting company- right next to my GF’s. When my GFs restaurant opened its doors, my GF hired Rick’s sister to be his bookkeeper- and I was also introduced by my GF to Rick’s entire family when they came in for dinner (which was fairly often). Rick helped bartend for the opening night of the restaurant. My GF was best friends with Rick’s brother’s wife, and my GF would always run to Rick when there were problems with the restaurant. There were several times when I found them upstairs together- alone, talking about things with the door closed. I had my suspicions, so I asked my GF how she got to know Rick- and she said he was just a friend she had known through her best friend (the one who was married to Rick’s brother).

    It wasn’t until we had been actually dating for six months (but talking for over a year) that I discovered the truth about my GF and Rick, just by casual conversation when someone told me he had given her a cheap rate on the construction for the restaurant because they had dated in the past. As I’m sure you know by now, Rick was the guy my GF had lived with for three years. I confronted her about it, and her response was that yes, they had lived together and dated, but that things between them were over. I told her I didn’t want her to talk to him anymore- but it was an impossible request. His sister worked for her, he had a contract for the office upstairs (so he would almost be guaranteed to see her every day for the next two years) and her best friend was married to his brother, so it would be hard for her to see her best friend without occasionally seeing him as well.

    I started snooping around to satisfy my curiosity. Even though it had been a couple years since they dated, she still had BOXES of photos of them together on beaches in Mexico and Jamaica- a place she and I were planning to go. She had an “I Love You” video she made for him still on her computer. There were no photos of any other person she dated- just pictures of those two together. When I confronted her about this, she did throw the pictures away, but only after I told her about them.

    My GF reassured me that there was nothing going on, and I believed her. Rick told me the same thing when he found out I knew. I don’t think she wants to date him, but I think that for whatever reason she likes having him around. It has been five months since I learned of this, and I still can’t get over it- how inconsiderate she was to put me in this situation, how she deceived me by lying about it/not telling me about it

  88. I met a girl on a matchmaking service as I could use a diversion for my time while overseas as a deployed soldier in Iraq. She and I spoke for six months online before I was able to come home and finally meet her. We talked about everything- including past relationships. She mentioned how she had lived with an older guy for three years when she turned 18, but that she broke it off because she thought he had cheated on her, he didn’t treat her well, and he wasn’t willing to settle down and marry her. Once we met, she and I fell in love and everything was great for the first several months of our relationship- I even moved in with her after leaving the Army.

    She introduced me to many of her friends, one of them a guy who we will call Rick. Rick was very nice to me, always buying me drinks, and he even offered me a job if I wanted it as I had just left the service. My GF had started a restaurant, and Rick’s contracting company did the majority of the work on the building because she had asked him to do it. Rick even had an office upstairs in the building for his contracting company- right next to my GF’s. When my GFs restaurant opened its doors, my GF hired Rick’s sister to be his bookkeeper- and I was also introduced by my GF to Rick’s entire family when they came in for dinner (which was fairly often). Rick helped bartend for the opening night of the restaurant. My GF was best friends with Rick’s brother’s wife, and my GF would always run to Rick when there were problems with the restaurant. There were several times when I found them upstairs together- alone, talking about things with the door closed. I had my suspicions, so I asked my GF how she got to know Rick- and she said he was just a friend she had known through her best friend (the one who was married to Rick’s brother).

    It wasn’t until we had been actually dating for six months (but talking for over a year) that I discovered the truth about my GF and Rick, just by casual conversation when someone told me he had given her a cheap rate on the construction for the restaurant because they had dated in the past. As I’m sure you know by now, Rick was the guy my GF had lived with for three years. I confronted her about it, and her response was that yes, they had lived together and dated, but that things between them were over. I told her I didn’t want her to talk to him anymore- but it was an impossible request. His sister worked for her, he had a contract for the office upstairs (so he would almost be guaranteed to see her every day for the next two years) and her best friend was married to his brother, so it would be hard for her to see her best friend without occasionally seeing him as well.

    I started snooping around to satisfy my curiosity. Even though it had been a couple years since they dated, she still had BOXES of photos of them together on beaches in Mexico and Jamaica- a place she and I were planning to go. She had an “I Love You” video she made for him still on her computer. There were no photos of any other person she dated- just pictures of those two together. When I confronted her about this, she did throw the pictures away, but only after I told her about them.

    My GF reassured me that there was nothing going on, and I believed her. Rick told me the same thing when he found out I knew. I don’t think she wants to date him, but I think that for whatever reason she likes having him around. It has been five months since I learned of this, and I still can’t get over it- how inconsiderate she was to put me in this situation, how she deceived me by lying about it/not telling me about it (which I think is a HUGE deal), and how I never would have moved in with her if I had known the truth beforehand.

    Am I crazy to think that most people would want to leave their past behind instead of seeing it walk through the door everyday?

    I care about this girl, but this has been tearing me apart for five months and I don’t know how to get over it. I feel like if I had known about it sooner, I could’ve gotten over it- but the fact that she lied about it for so many months makes me not trust her. And here’s the kicker- before all this came out, she told me when she was younger she had an abortion- from someone else. She could tell me that (which I think is a MUCH bigger secret) but she didn’t want to tell me about Rick- doesn’t that sound fishy? I find myself looking for excuses to make her feel bad about dating him and lying about it- which I know is never a good sign.

    Any advice is welcome.

    Thanks.
    Now that I know this guy- and I’ve learned even more about his scumbaggery since first meeting him- it makes me wonder what kind of taste my GF had in men before meeting me…. It makes me feel like I could do better…especially since now I wonder what else she’s hiding from me (because I don’t feel like I can really trust her).

  89. I met a girl on a matchmaking service as I could use a diversion for my time while overseas as a deployed soldier in Iraq. She and I spoke for six months online before I was able to come home and finally meet her. We talked about everything- including past relationships. She mentioned how she had lived with an older guy for three years when she turned 18, but that she broke it off because she thought he had cheated on her, he didn’t treat her well, and he wasn’t willing to settle down and marry her. Once we met, she and I fell in love and everything was great for the first several months of our relationship- I even moved in with her after leaving the Army.

    She introduced me to many of her friends, one of them a guy who we will call Rick. Rick was very nice to me, always buying me drinks, and he even offered me a job if I wanted it as I had just left the service. My GF had started a restaurant, and Rick’s contracting company did the majority of the work on the building because she had asked him to do it. Rick even had an office upstairs in the building for his contracting company- right next to my GF’s. When my GFs restaurant opened its doors, my GF hired Rick’s sister to be his bookkeeper- and I was also introduced by my GF to Rick’s entire family when they came in for dinner (which was fairly often). Rick helped bartend for the opening night of the restaurant. My GF was best friends with Rick’s brother’s wife, and my GF would always run to Rick when there were problems with the restaurant. There were several times when I found them upstairs together- alone, talking about things with the door closed. I had my suspicions, so I asked my GF how she got to know Rick- and she said he was just a friend she had known through her best friend (the one who was married to Rick’s brother).

    It wasn’t until we had been actually dating for six months (but talking for over a year) that I discovered the truth about my GF and Rick, just by casual conversation when someone told me he had given her a cheap rate on the construction for the restaurant because they had dated in the past. As I’m sure you know by now, Rick was the guy my GF had lived with for three years. I confronted her about it, and her response was that yes, they had lived together and dated, but that things between them were over. I told her I didn’t want her to talk to him anymore- but it was an impossible request. His sister worked for her, he had a contract for the office upstairs (so he would almost be guaranteed to see her every day for the next two years) and her best friend was married to his brother, so it would be hard for her to see her best friend without occasionally seeing him as well.

    I started snooping around to satisfy my curiosity. Even though it had been a couple years since they dated, she still had BOXES of photos of them together on beaches in Mexico and Jamaica- a place she and I were planning to go. She had an “I Love You” video she made for him still on her computer. There were no photos of any other person she dated- just pictures of those two together. When I confronted her about this, she did throw the pictures away, but only after I told her about them.

    My GF reassured me that there was nothing going on, and I believed her. Rick told me the same thing when he found out I knew. I don’t think she wants to date him, but I think that for whatever reason she likes having him around. It has been five months since I learned of this, and I still can’t get over it- how inconsiderate she was to put me in this situation, how she deceived me by lying about it/not telling me about it

  90. Alright so i met my bf cameron in september and as cheesy as it sounds, i fell in love with him instantly. I’ve had a lot of short relationships and we lasted 7 months. the first 5 were heaven/perfect/amazing…you name it. we were perfect and i’ve never been so happy. he told me he loved me, and i told him i loved him too. i’ve said it to one person before but later realized that i was very naive at that time, so i dont really count it any more. i meant it with cameron though. i felt completely content and for the first time in my life, didnt even LOOK at other guys! that’s never happened before with me.

    but like i said, it was perfect for the first five months. we’ve been together 7. we started having problems when he started not being able to make time for me. he also got a new job on top of it, although it started before he was hired. i was pretty understanding and didnt even say anything for a while. he has school and work and those need to be a priority. but it wasnt just that he didnt have a lot of time any more…he started breaking promises and just being a downright douche. i ended up telling him i wanted to break up, and we talked it out to the point where i agreed to a break until summer when maybe we could try things again.

    so we go on a break, but meanwhile my car was broken. cameron is kind of a mechanic so he had told me he would fix it since i dont have a lot of money. but now that we were broken up, it would have been too weird. this guy colton i know a little offered to fix it for free and i wasnt about to turn him down. we hadnt really hung out before but while we were hanging out, fixing my car and stuff, we actually got to be really good friends. he told me he had feelings for me, but i explained that i still loved cameron and although i was technically single, i wasnt interested in dating anybody.

    now me and cameron are back together and working things out. he has changed quite a bit and i SHOULD be completely happy. but for some reason i’m not. i dont know what happened, but i’m almost indifferent now when it comes to cameron. i dont feel anything at all when i kiss him and i feel nothing when we say i love you to each other. at first i though it was because of colton, that maybe i DO have feelings for him. but the more i thought about it, i could tell that wasnt it. i just feel like being single or something, but that doesnt seem like enough of a reason. i was HEAD OVER FRIGGIN HEELS for cameron. and when we broke up all i could think about was being with him again. but now that we are back together i just feel bored and emotionless. there’s no spark any more and i dont know why. i was also really attracted to him physically before and now that’s gone too. his sense of humor cracked me up before and now he just irritates me. i cant even figure out what i saw in him before! what the heck happened?! i’ve cared way less about guys before and not been able to let go and move on. now with cameron who i genuinely loved and wanted to be with, those feelings that were so strong just disappeared. how though? i just dont understand what happened! i feel guilty still leading him on thinking things are fine, and i want to break up again honestly. i know he’ll just think it’s for colton though and it’s not. why is this happening and what do i do?! please help me :/

  91. Step daughter is 23 with a kid. She graduated college 18 mos ago. She had a baby, has never worked a day in her life. My husband has been paying for everything. He is now regretting it. It is debilitating her. She lives with the belief that she does not have to work and she can use anyone anyway she wants. My husband is likely going to be laid off. It dawned on me today that he basically treated her like his wife (without the spousal duties). He has 3 kids. He bought her a brand new car, a 1000 dollar great dane, designer everything, a condo, top notch furniture. all she has to do is well – nothing. He pays Cobra Insurance for her because she is a grown up and the insurance lapsed.

    She has been fighting custody over the baby with the father, but really all they (the father of the baby) want is standard visitation. She lives in another state and we have asked her to come home but she won’t because of one reason or another (including the father of the baby won’t allow it). We told her she could come live here, but who would want to leave a spacious condo with cherry hardwood floors to live in a crowded house, right? We offered that we could watch the baby while she works if she moves down here. She said no, she was going to go to graduate school.

    She wants the father of the baby not to have any rights whatsoever, so she wants about $10,000 to pay for a lawyer. My husband said he is no longer going to pay her way and that he agrees that he has been allowing her to live in a fantasy world and he wants to stop doing this.

    She was just hired for a job for $15 an hour and full benefits, he would have been willing to continue making house payments to help her out until she could get on her feet, but she turned down the job because she felt that daycare would be traumatic on the 10 month old baby. Then she called back and said she just bought a GPS navigation system for 200 bucks and could dad please put money in her account! I was floored. I have been in the situation of having a child alone and I never in my wildest dreams would have thought to have bought a “luxury” item, especially when it was not needed.

    I am also worried because she is so set on being able to give her infant daughter psychotic meds because she thinks that the child may need it in the future and does not want the father of this infant to have any say so. I just have this feeling like my husband is going behind my back and going to give her money the minute she starts crying. She refuses to accept any responsibility. She won’t get a job. She makes excuses, she is manipulative and she knows exactly what to say to get money from her dad. He doesn’t have a backbone where she’s concerned. When he tells her to do something, he says it in a manner that sounds more like he is afraid to get through to her she cannot carry on like this. He is afraid of losing her.

    She honestly believes that the salary my husband makes is her salary. She acts as though she has the same rights as a spouse. My husband and I have talked but I am having serious doubts that he will follow through.

    She calls him an a-hole and then turns around and talks about him dying and tells him that since he married me, if affects her inheritance. They sat at Thanksgiving Dinner and told their dad that he needed to go die basically. But he does not hear what his kids tell him or basically takes it as a joke. My kids have never told me to go die (maybe go to hell, but not die). Then she started in that the dishes that were given to him in his first wife’s marriage (she deceased) and that she wants them and is entitled to them. He bought many of the pieces to make it a complete set. We would likely have given them to her later, but she feels some direct and immediate entitlement to them.

    So today I heard her talking about my five year and making accusations that were not true and I just yelled at my husband who was ever so nicely telling her she was not being appropriate, I told her to take care of herself and her child and quit manipulating her father. He got mad at me because she hung up on him. I told him I did not care to hear anymore because all she does is talk. I am thinking I should get a job albeit it would be considerably less than what he could make, but I may end up having to leave because I am really having a hard time thinking I could live with this. I had not realized he is basically married to this child, who thinks she has entitlement.

    I have been through a lot of sad times, I have been through rough times. My parents were well off and did not offer me a “bail out” I went through college nursing a child and working. I did not get ammenities like a PC to type my papers I had to drive over an hour to get to a computer and usually had to stay up 3-4 days at a time during finals weeks. I don’t desire more money or “things” for myself. I can take care of myself. It’s the attitude of this girl and the way she treats her father that makes me infu

  92. Example: If your trying to pull the turnover rate for one month and you pull a list of “active” employees (10 active) and a list of “terminated” employees during that month (15 terminations), don’t you have to include the 15 terminations in with your active to get a true turnover rate? Such as:
    15 terminations divided by 25 active = .6 multiplied by 100 = 60%
    Or would it be:
    15 terminations divided by 10 active = 1.5 multiplied by 100 = 150%

  93. My parents amaze me so much. They are like the typical asian parents who expect you to do better than everyone else and I read an article on why this is the reason why so many asians are successful. But what amazes me is that at the same time as expecting and nagging me to do well, they seem to be the root of me messing up. Actually its my choice to mess up to keep them happy by doing what they want. And in return I have to listen to how worthless I am and all my thoughts are wrong.

    I did exceptionally well in my GCSES, but they never really had involvement there (If i say, I was quite academically talented). Then I messed up my A levels, I messed up uni spending five years there and ending up with a diploma (and may I add that my father was only too happy that I stayed home and studied at the local uni regardless of what course I did). I decided to go away to travel to india and spend some time with family expecting to spend at least 3-4 weeks traveling too, but some how I managed to spend the whole 5 months with my extended family (which I enjoyed, but it would have been nice to have had gone traveling seeing as I had the time and it wasn’t like I didn’t plan to spend time with the family). And this was also down to my folks having involvement in what I do even though I was thousands of miles away! So I came back and applied for jobs and being under qualified, I couldn’t find anywhere close by. So I widened my search and managed to get an offer 50 miles away. It is an awesome opportunity they would train me and being a huge multi national company with huge contracts I had scope to progress. Now I was also expecting to return on weekends, but on low salary I can’t afford a car and traveling back home on weekends on local transport, especially on Sundays is too much of a hassle taking up to 3 hrs and so many changes. When the q came up I said I would come back now and then and of course they would be phoning to annoy me everyday anyway like they did when I went traveling (they totally ruined my day when they did this and I was supposed to be enjoying it) but they didn’t want to know and when I said ok i’ll tell them i’m turning down the offer they continued to have an argument with me and the best bit is they will have no regrets or feel bad for me for missing an opportunity thats potentially my big break and better in the long run.

    I guess this last thing about work sums up my boring worthless life. An opportunity comes my way and I have to turn it down to make my folks happy. and the thing is i’m not scared of loosing them, its other people in the family I care about which is why I choose to mess up my life otherwise I would have been long gone or even accepted this work offer without discussing it with my folks. And the only option is to now put myself into the family business but this is where it all gets typical again. because i’m younger than my elders ‘I know nothing’ and so while they’re around I just listen to them and do as i’m told. I even said to my dad I would be so into getting into business but what scope have i got if I can’t have any valid say or responsibility in the business (which by the way he knows the ideas I discuss in general about the business are always right. eg I told him to diversify and bring in certain products and he didn’t listen to me but years later he listens to outsiders and in a way is forced to due to economic and commodity pressures and its working).

    anyway i had my moan thanks for reading. i’ve decided now to put up with the crap at home, take a crappy call centre job, have no prospects, ambition or drive and learn the family business and wait for my uncle to retire so that i can be made a silent partner officially but loyal dog in terms of working.

    best wishes to all u other ppl i will wish that i am the only one to go through this as this situation really messes the head up, without drugs or alcohol abuse!

  94. my fiancee is such a stubborn guy, lovely, nice, devoted…but stubborn like…wow. He had a DWI and crashed his car like 3 years ago. Since then, he got a job, lost a job (cause it was a disreputable work place) and he has gone to court, which bumped DOWN his color for drug testing to once a month, instead of twice. If cooperative, he goes on unsupervised probation march 31. Well, he lost his job. He wouldnt call his PO nor call to see if his color was up. Everytime I asked him to call to see he would say “damnit, I know sarah! quit hounding me, I will do it. Quit pushing me, I hate that ” and he never does, the more I ask, the more pissed off he gets at me. I asked him to use my aunts phone and he was like “No, cause then they will never shut up” or he says” you know we can’t afford it, its 100$ at the hospital to get a drug test”. I try and get him off his butt to do something towards getting out of a rut and he just sits there and rather pretends it is not real..and when I tell him it wont go away he grits his teeth and scoffs going “ugh…I KNOW SARAH…shut up..” then he has this tendency to point the finger at me about being a messy person or something so I don’t have a halo around my head in that argument. Well, he had a warrant out cause of missed tests, turned himself in, went in front of a judge in a orange jumpsuit and shackles trying to reason and tell the judge he didn’t have a phone to contact nor money to do the tests, offered to be on a more frequent color rather than the 2 weeks jail time. Judge told him “well, couldnt you have used a pay phone, or mail a letter to your probation officer” he pauses five seconds and goes “well, I guess” then the judge says ” There is no legitamate reason why you failed to contact your PO for over…4 months.. So I am going to give you the 15 days cause I don’t think you would learn otherwise.” His mom was crying, was it bad that I was smiling???? I was mad, and equally like ” yeah, thats what you get for being stubborn ‘have it your way’ ” Anyway, when he gets out, if you were me, would you welcome him with open arms and a present (his Bday is Vday) or be pissed off….what would you do?

  95. Hi I’m a 31 year old stay at home Mom with my adorable 13 month old daughter. I’ve been with my husband 5 years and I want to make our marriage work.We really need counseling to fix this and for us to both be happy and have both our needs met. I’m having a hard time getting my point thru to him. He just thinks he’s right and I’m wrong. He doesn’t believe a relationship needs constant work and it needs to be treated with the utmost care or it falls apart. He just thinks it is what it is and we don’t need professional help. I love him dearly but I’m having a hard time seeing us for many more years together unless theres a change. It’s actually pretty little work on his part. So this is my last resort, I’m going to quickly write down the basic problems and I’m so confused at this point, I’m asking for validation for my feelings. If any of u were in my shoes would u feel the same way? And feel free to tell me I’m wrong, whatever needs done to save our family I’ll do it but to live with quiet anger and resentment is not healthy.

    There’s three main issues. One is He works 60 to 70 hours a week and plays hockey 3 to 4 times a week. So I don’t really see him that much and when I do he’s worn out and tired or hungry or just want’s to relax. I said once maybe you could not go to hockey tonight and he took that as me taking him away from his passion.Thats so far from the truth, I would never want or ask him to quit. Thats a major problem with us in general. he constantly misunderstands me and it turns into a fight really fast.and part of me thinks if he knew me at all he wouldn’t misunderstand me so much. How can me wanting him to spend time with me turn into what I don’t even know because we have never ever talked thru and resolved a conflict. When we fight I feel like my big strong man turns into a child! Theres insults and back and forth and then he gets really vicious with his words and goes too far and hurts me. I end up with a stabbing pain in my heart that his little sentence that ended the fight will eventually end our marriage. i walk away, we stop fighting, it’s never cleared up or resolved because I guess we don’t know how. ( Hence why we need counseling) But if I were to go tell him that right now THAT would turn into a fight of why am I trying to ruin his day. The way he misunderstands me hurts as much as his deep comments. Because theres no reason for it, I’m so good to him. I’m always considerate of him, always do you want something dear you need something dear?What can I do for you? I would love if he returned a quarter of how I treat him. I def shown him by example.

    He’s a great provider and very generous with me, because he does make all the money and he works hard for us. I do appeciate that sooo much of course I do. That allows me to raise our child.

    The Hockey I think shouldn’t be more than 2 days a week.What marriage is healthy when the husband works 5 days until evening then plays up to four days. Any more than 2 days is just neglect. Neglect to our home and us and our child. but again he doesn’t see it that way.

    I don’t understand. When I used to work I couldn’t wait to get home to see him, I wouldn’t actually make plans with a friend until I found out what he was doing first. But he’s the opposite he makes plans for himself and sometimes us then tells me about it. It infurriates me that he doesn’t check with me. He doesn’t know the reason why he has to tell me.

    I do all the cooking and cleaning and housework and In five years he’s never done a load of launry or picked his clothes up or cleaned a dish or watched our daughter for more than an hour. And Ok there’s the argument that that’s my job and he does his job but I said to him my job is 24/7. I never get a break. Can u offer to watch our daughter for a couple hours Once? Or offer to change her or bathe her or play with her. He loves her so much I know he does really so why do I have to force him to do these things. And when he does do them because I’ve made him he acts helpless and he can’t handle it and saying oh she wants her Mommy she needs you, oh my back hurts take her. And he want’s more kids! If the father works really hard doesn’t he still owe a minimum amount of just bonding with his kid? I feel like our relationship has morphed into a 50’s the woman does this and the Man does this. I feel like a single Mom most days. We need help, what can I do? what can I say to get him to understand?

  96. I met a girl on a matchmaking service as I could use a diversion for my time while overseas as a deployed soldier in Iraq. She and I spoke for six months online before I was able to come home and finally meet her. We talked about everything- including past relationships. She mentioned how she had lived with an older guy for three years when she turned 18, but that she broke it off because she thought he had cheated on her, he didn’t treat her well, and he wasn’t willing to settle down and marry her. Once we met, she and I fell in love and everything was great for the first several months of our relationship- I even moved in with her after leaving the Army.

    She introduced me to many of her friends, one of them a guy who we will call Rick. Rick was very nice to me, always buying me drinks, and he even offered me a job if I wanted it as I had just left the service. My GF had started a restaurant, and Rick’s contracting company did the majority of the work on the building because she had asked him to do it. Rick even had an office upstairs in the building for his contracting company- right next to my GF’s. When my GFs restaurant opened its doors, my GF hired Rick’s sister to be his bookkeeper- and I was also introduced by my GF to Rick’s entire family when they came in for dinner (which was fairly often). Rick helped bartend for the opening night of the restaurant. My GF was best friends with Rick’s brother’s wife, and my GF would always run to Rick when there were problems with the restaurant. There were several times when I found them upstairs together- alone, talking about things with the door closed. I had my suspicions, so I asked my GF how she got to know Rick- and she said he was just a friend she had known through her best friend (the one who was married to Rick’s brother).

    It wasn’t until we had been actually dating for six months (but talking for over a year) that I discovered the truth about my GF and Rick, just by casual conversation when someone told me he had given her a cheap rate on the construction for the restaurant because they had dated in the past. As I’m sure you know by now, Rick was the guy my GF had lived with for three years. I confronted her about it, and her response was that yes, they had lived together and dated, but that things between them were over. I told her I didn’t want her to talk to him anymore- but it was an impossible request. His sister worked for her, he had a contract for the office upstairs (so he would almost be guaranteed to see her every day for the next two years) and her best friend was married to his brother, so it would be hard for her to see her best friend without occasionally seeing him as well.

    I started snooping around to satisfy my curiosity. Even though it had been a couple years since they dated, she still had BOXES of photos of them together on beaches in Mexico and Jamaica- a place she and I were planning to go. She had an “I Love You” video she made for him still on her computer. There were no photos of any other person she dated- just pictures of those two together. When I confronted her about this, she did throw the pictures away, but only after I told her about them.

    My GF reassured me that there was nothing going on, and I believed her. Rick told me the same thing when he found out I knew. I don’t think she wants to date him, but I think that for whatever reason she likes having him around. It has been five months since I learned of this, and I still can’t get over it- how inconsiderate she was to put me in this situation, how she deceived me by lying about it/not telling me about it (which I think is a HUGE deal), and how I never would have moved in with her if I had known the truth beforehand.

    Am I crazy to think that most people would want to leave their past behind instead of seeing it walk through the door everyday?

    I care about this girl, but this has been tearing me apart for five months and I don’t know how to get over it. I feel like if I had known about it sooner, I could’ve gotten over it- but the fact that she lied about it for so many months makes me not trust her. And here’s the kicker- before all this came out, she told me when she was younger she had an abortion- from someone else. She could tell me that (which I think is a MUCH bigger secret) but she didn’t want to tell me about Rick- doesn’t that sound fishy? I find myself looking for excuses to make her feel bad about dating him and lying about it- which I know is never a good sign.

    Any advice is welcome.

    Thanks.
    Now that I know this guy- and I’ve learned even more about his scumbaggery since first meeting him- it makes me wonder what kind of taste my GF had in men before meeting me…. It makes me feel like I could do better…especially since now I wonder what else she’s hiding from me (because I don’t feel like I can really trust her).

  97. Step daughter is 23 with a kid. She graduated college 18 mos ago. She had a baby, has never worked a day in her life. My husband has been paying for everything. He is now regretting it. It is debilitating her. She lives with the belief that she does not have to work and she can use anyone anyway she wants. My husband is likely going to be laid off. It dawned on me today that he basically treated her like his wife (without the spousal duties). He has 3 kids. He bought her a brand new car, a 1000 dollar great dane, designer everything, a condo, top notch furniture. all she has to do is well – nothing. He pays Cobra Insurance for her because she is a grown up and the insurance lapsed.

    She has been fighting custody over the baby with the father, but really all they (the father of the baby) want is standard visitation. She lives in another state and we have asked her to come home but she won’t because of one reason or another (including the father of the baby won’t allow it). We told her she could come live here, but who would want to leave a spacious condo with cherry hardwood floors to live in a crowded house, right? We offered that we could watch the baby while she works if she moves down here. She said no, she was going to go to graduate school.

    She wants the father of the baby not to have any rights whatsoever, so she wants about $10,000 to pay for a lawyer. My husband said he is no longer going to pay her way and that he agrees that he has been allowing her to live in a fantasy world and he wants to stop doing this.

    She was just hired for a job for $15 an hour and full benefits, he would have been willing to continue making house payments to help her out until she could get on her feet, but she turned down the job because she felt that daycare would be traumatic on the 10 month old baby. Then she called back and said she just bought a GPS navigation system for 200 bucks and could dad please put money in her account! I was floored. I have been in the situation of having a child alone and I never in my wildest dreams would have thought to have bought a “luxury” item, especially when it was not needed.

    I am also worried because she is so set on being able to give her infant daughter psychotic meds because she thinks that the child may need it in the future and does not want the father of this infant to have any say so. I just have this feeling like my husband is going behind my back and going to give her money the minute she starts crying. She refuses to accept any responsibility. She won’t get a job. She makes excuses, she is manipulative and she knows exactly what to say to get money from her dad. He doesn’t have a backbone where she’s concerned. When he tells her to do something, he says it in a manner that sounds more like he is afraid to get through to her she cannot carry on like this. He is afraid of losing her.

    She honestly believes that the salary my husband makes is her salary. She acts as though she has the same rights as a spouse. My husband and I have talked but I am having serious doubts that he will follow through.

    She calls him an a-hole and then turns around and talks about him dying and tells him that since he married me, if affects her inheritance. They sat at Thanksgiving Dinner and told their dad that he needed to go die basically. But he does not hear what his kids tell him or basically takes it as a joke. My kids have never told me to go die (maybe go to hell, but not die). Then she started in that the dishes that were given to him in his first wife’s marriage (she deceased) and that she wants them and is entitled to them. He bought many of the pieces to make it a complete set. We would likely have given them to her later, but she feels some direct and immediate entitlement to them.

    So today I heard her talking about my five year and making accusations that were not true and I just yelled at my husband who was ever so nicely telling her she was not being appropriate, I told her to take care of herself and her child and quit manipulating her father. He got mad at me because she hung up on him. I told him I did not care to hear anymore because all she does is talk. I am thinking I should get a job albeit it would be considerably less than what he could make, but I may end up having to leave because I am really having a hard time thinking I could live with this. I had not realized he is basically married to this child, who thinks she has entitlement.

    I have been through a lot of sad times, I have been through rough times. My parents were well off and did not offer me a “bail out” I went through college nursing a child and working. I did not get ammenities like a PC to type my papers I had to drive over an hour to get to a computer and usually had to stay up 3-4 days at a time during finals weeks. I don’t desire more money or “things” for myself. I can take care of myself. It’s the attitude of this girl and the way she treats her father that makes me infu

  98. I met a girl on a matchmaking service as I could use a diversion for my time while overseas as a deployed soldier in Iraq. She and I spoke for six months online before I was able to come home and finally meet her. We talked about everything- including past relationships. She mentioned how she had lived with an older guy for three years when she turned 18, but that she broke it off because she thought he had cheated on her, he didn’t treat her well, and he wasn’t willing to settle down and marry her. Once we met, she and I fell in love and everything was great for the first several months of our relationship- I even moved in with her after leaving the Army.

    She introduced me to many of her friends, one of them a guy who we will call Rick. Rick was very nice to me, always buying me drinks, and he even offered me a job if I wanted it as I had just left the service. My GF had started a restaurant, and Rick’s contracting company did the majority of the work on the building because she had asked him to do it. Rick even had an office upstairs in the building for his contracting company- right next to my GF’s. When my GFs restaurant opened its doors, my GF hired Rick’s sister to be his bookkeeper- and I was also introduced by my GF to Rick’s entire family when they came in for dinner (which was fairly often). Rick helped bartend for the opening night of the restaurant. My GF was best friends with Rick’s brother’s wife, and my GF would always run to Rick when there were problems with the restaurant. There were several times when I found them upstairs together- alone, talking about things with the door closed. I had my suspicions, so I asked my GF how she got to know Rick- and she said he was just a friend she had known through her best friend (the one who was married to Rick’s brother).

    It wasn’t until we had been actually dating for six months (but talking for over a year) that I discovered the truth about my GF and Rick, just by casual conversation when someone told me he had given her a cheap rate on the construction for the restaurant because they had dated in the past. As I’m sure you know by now, Rick was the guy my GF had lived with for three years. I confronted her about it, and her response was that yes, they had lived together and dated, but that things between them were over. I told her I didn’t want her to talk to him anymore- but it was an impossible request. His sister worked for her, he had a contract for the office upstairs (so he would almost be guaranteed to see her every day for the next two years) and her best friend was married to his brother, so it would be hard for her to see her best friend without occasionally seeing him as well.

    I started snooping around to satisfy my curiosity. Even though it had been a couple years since they dated, she still had BOXES of photos of them together on beaches in Mexico and Jamaica- a place she and I were planning to go. She had an “I Love You” video she made for him still on her computer. There were no photos of any other person she dated- just pictures of those two together. When I confronted her about this, she did throw the pictures away, but only after I told her about them.

    My GF reassured me that there was nothing going on, and I believed her. Rick told me the same thing when he found out I knew. I don’t think she wants to date him, but I think that for whatever reason she likes having him around. It has been five months since I learned of this, and I still can’t get over it- how inconsiderate she was to put me in this situation, how she deceived me by lying about it/not telling me about it (which I think is a HUGE deal), and how I never would have moved in with her if I had known the truth beforehand.

    Am I crazy to think that most people would want to leave their past behind instead of seeing it walk through the door everyday?

    I care about this girl, but this has been tearing me apart for five months and I don’t know how to get over it. I feel like if I had known about it sooner, I could’ve gotten over it- but the fact that she lied about it for so many months makes me not trust her. And here’s the kicker- before all this came out, she told me when she was younger she had an abortion- from someone else. She could tell me that (which I think is a MUCH bigger secret) but she didn’t want to tell me about Rick- doesn’t that sound fishy? I find myself looking for excuses to make her feel bad about dating him and lying about it- which I know is never a good sign.

    Any advice is welcome.

    Thanks.
    Now that I know this guy- and I’ve learned even more about his scumbaggery since first meeting him- it makes me wonder what kind of taste my GF had in men before meeting me…. It makes me feel like I could do better…especially since now I wonder what else she’s hiding from me (because I don’t feel like I can really trust her).

  99. Hi I’m a 31 year old stay at home Mom with my adorable 13 month old daughter. I’ve been with my husband 5 years and I want to make our marriage work.We really need counseling to fix this and for us to both be happy and have both our needs met. I’m having a hard time getting my point thru to him. He just thinks he’s right and I’m wrong. He doesn’t believe a relationship needs constant work and it needs to be treated with the utmost care or it falls apart. He just thinks it is what it is and we don’t need professional help. I love him dearly but I’m having a hard time seeing us for many more years together unless theres a change. It’s actually pretty little work on his part. So this is my last resort, I’m going to quickly write down the basic problems and I’m so confused at this point, I’m asking for validation for my feelings. If any of u were in my shoes would u feel the same way? And feel free to tell me I’m wrong, whatever needs done to save our family I’ll do it but to live with quiet anger and resentment is not healthy.

    There’s three main issues. One is He works 60 to 70 hours a week and plays hockey 3 to 4 times a week. So I don’t really see him that much and when I do he’s worn out and tired or hungry or just want’s to relax. I said once maybe you could not go to hockey tonight and he took that as me taking him away from his passion.Thats so far from the truth, I would never want or ask him to quit. Thats a major problem with us in general. he constantly misunderstands me and it turns into a fight really fast.and part of me thinks if he knew me at all he wouldn’t misunderstand me so much. How can me wanting him to spend time with me turn into what I don’t even know because we have never ever talked thru and resolved a conflict. When we fight I feel like my big strong man turns into a child! Theres insults and back and forth and then he gets really vicious with his words and goes too far and hurts me. I end up with a stabbing pain in my heart that his little sentence that ended the fight will eventually end our marriage. i walk away, we stop fighting, it’s never cleared up or resolved because I guess we don’t know how. ( Hence why we need counseling) But if I were to go tell him that right now THAT would turn into a fight of why am I trying to ruin his day. The way he misunderstands me hurts as much as his deep comments. Because theres no reason for it, I’m so good to him. I’m always considerate of him, always do you want something dear you need something dear?What can I do for you? I would love if he returned a quarter of how I treat him. I def shown him by example.

    He’s a great provider and very generous with me, because he does make all the money and he works hard for us. I do appeciate that sooo much of course I do. That allows me to raise our child.

    The Hockey I think shouldn’t be more than 2 days a week.What marriage is healthy when the husband works 5 days until evening then plays up to four days. Any more than 2 days is just neglect. Neglect to our home and us and our child. but again he doesn’t see it that way.

    I don’t understand. When I used to work I couldn’t wait to get home to see him, I wouldn’t actually make plans with a friend until I found out what he was doing first. But he’s the opposite he makes plans for himself and sometimes us then tells me about it. It infurriates me that he doesn’t check with me. He doesn’t know the reason why he has to tell me.

    I do all the cooking and cleaning and housework and In five years he’s never done a load of launry or picked his clothes up or cleaned a dish or watched our daughter for more than an hour. And Ok there’s the argument that that’s my job and he does his job but I said to him my job is 24/7. I never get a break. Can u offer to watch our daughter for a couple hours Once? Or offer to change her or bathe her or play with her. He loves her so much I know he does really so why do I have to force him to do these things. And when he does do them because I’ve made him he acts helpless and he can’t handle it and saying oh she wants her Mommy she needs you, oh my back hurts take her. And he want’s more kids! If the father works really hard doesn’t he still owe a minimum amount of just bonding with his kid? I feel like our relationship has morphed into a 50’s the woman does this and the Man does this. I feel like a single Mom most days. We need help, what can I do? what can I say to get him to understand?

  100. i am nearly blinde, not completely but nearly. i just went to my gonna be high school to take the placement testing with all the other eighth graders. sinc e i am nearly blinde, my braille teacher signed me up to get a large print test booklit, no big deal right? well they all turned it into something bigger than it was, very insulting. so i had to go and tell some lady that i needed a large print test booklit, so i said “i’ve been signed up to use a large print test booklit”
    the lady goes. “you mean you need special accomidations.”
    “no, just a large print test booklit.”
    “no that would be considered special accomidations, come with me” she made me stand off to the side, with all the kids in special ed, and yes, i am in special ed, but TO READ BRAILLE not becuase i can’t comprehend the stuff they through at me, i am in all the gifted classes, and i’m planning on being advanced placement, in everything in high school.
    so i am standing their with all the support kids, and i ask “am i going to be in the room i was assigned too?” because that was really important to me, not to be seperated from my friend, who i was getting a ride home with, (we have the same last initial, so we were in the same room)
    and she said “we’ll see”
    she looked for my name on her list, and couldn’t find it, i told her “thats because i am not supposed to be here, i am supposed to be in s229.”
    she goes in a high pitched talking slow, almost parent ease voice “don’t worry, we’ll get you tested, just sit down iin here.”
    “but i am not supposed to be in here.”
    “yeah, i know, we’ll figure it out” same voice.
    then they would not let me fill out the forms myself, there was one wehre we were supposed to mark in all our grades this year in our classes, i told the lady that i get a’s in everything. and she was all “good job, you must be smart” then they asked if we were in excelerated classes, she almost filled in no, before i told her that i was in excelerated classes. they locked me in a room, with the lady, to mark the answers for me. that is what they do for the all blind kids, i told them over and over again, that i don’t need that, i can see. really i can. but nope, it was really offending, how they forced me to do this stuff. so i answer the first test, and the lady, makes me give her a high five, and she tells me “good job,” in the high pitched parent ease voice, and i give her a weak, please don’t talk to me in that tone, voice. this happened three more times with the three tests, and by this time, i was feeling very offended that they assumed that i was not smart enough to be in excelerated, and that i was in the room for other reasons, by the time i was in sixth grade, i was making accomadations for myself by myself, that they trained me to do in grade school, so all of this was really offending.
    then i finished, the science portion, and she said, “congradulations, your done, you can go home now.” i look at her like she’s the one who’s being treated meantly ill, and say, “no, i am staying for the writing portion” which is what you have to stay for to get into AP writing, which of coarse is very important to me, they just assumed i wasn’t going to take it, they didn’t even offer it to me. which is offending, but then the other lady, that made come in there at all, said to me, “you know, you don’t have to take it.” in the parent ease voice
    i say, “i know, but i want to be in A P English.” and she rolls her eyes at me and says, “if you want too.” in a ‘waisting your time’ kind of way.
    so i take this test and get out of their, and she asks me if i wanted to use the schools phone to call my mom, now i know, from talking to the special ed kids, (lots of them are friends of mine, out of coincidence) and they have hard families, lots of them don’t even have mothers, and i think she shouldn’t have said that, i nearly said, “no, i can’t call her, she’s dead.” but i didn’t because i don’t have the guts, so i walked out of there, feeling really angry that people would treat me like that, slump me with the support kids. my dad said i should have protested against taking the test, he said that might even cause me to get a lower test grade, my mom thinks that she will call some poeple and figure out who did it, so that she can get them in trouble for discrimination, lots of people do things like that to me, and usually, i can just move right past it, but this time,. its really burning. what do you think i should do? nothing rude please.
    i don’t have a 504, but i do have an iep, and they just call it special ed just the same, becuase my braille teacher works for a company run by special ed, and that doesn’t really help me with discrimination, or high school placement testing.
    I have all the things that you list, and i do know about my terrible spelling, S just one of those regular problems i have to work on, and it doesn’t help that i type faster than i should (about 80 wpm ranther than 50 wpm) and i have a really old keyboard, about as old as me, but thanks for reminding me, and being considerate, but in future, i read bad spelling better than anyone, because, i use it.

  101. Hi I’m a 31 year old stay at home Mom with my adorable 13 month old daughter. I’ve been with my husband 5 years and I want to make our marriage work.We really need counseling to fix this and for us to both be happy and have both our needs met. I’m having a hard time getting my point thru to him. He just thinks he’s right and I’m wrong. He doesn’t believe a relationship needs constant work and it needs to be treated with the utmost care or it falls apart. He just thinks it is what it is and we don’t need professional help. I love him dearly but I’m having a hard time seeing us for many more years together unless theres a change. It’s actually pretty little work on his part. So this is my last resort, I’m going to quickly write down the basic problems and I’m so confused at this point, I’m asking for validation for my feelings. If any of u were in my shoes would u feel the same way? And feel free to tell me I’m wrong, whatever needs done to save our family I’ll do it but to live with quiet anger and resentment is not healthy.

    There’s three main issues. One is He works 60 to 70 hours a week and plays hockey 3 to 4 times a week. So I don’t really see him that much and when I do he’s worn out and tired or hungry or just want’s to relax. I said once maybe you could not go to hockey tonight and he took that as me taking him away from his passion.Thats so far from the truth, I would never want or ask him to quit. Thats a major problem with us in general. he constantly misunderstands me and it turns into a fight really fast.and part of me thinks if he knew me at all he wouldn’t misunderstand me so much. How can me wanting him to spend time with me turn into what I don’t even know because we have never ever talked thru and resolved a conflict. When we fight I feel like my big strong man turns into a child! Theres insults and back and forth and then he gets really vicious with his words and goes too far and hurts me. I end up with a stabbing pain in my heart that his little sentence that ended the fight will eventually end our marriage. i walk away, we stop fighting, it’s never cleared up or resolved because I guess we don’t know how. ( Hence why we need counseling) But if I were to go tell him that right now THAT would turn into a fight of why am I trying to ruin his day. The way he misunderstands me hurts as much as his deep comments. Because theres no reason for it, I’m so good to him. I’m always considerate of him, always do you want something dear you need something dear?What can I do for you? I would love if he returned a quarter of how I treat him. I def shown him by example.

    He’s a great provider and very generous with me, because he does make all the money and he works hard for us. I do appeciate that sooo much of course I do. That allows me to raise our child.

    The Hockey I think shouldn’t be more than 2 days a week.What marriage is healthy when the husband works 5 days until evening then plays up to four days. Any more than 2 days is just neglect. Neglect to our home and us and our child. but again he doesn’t see it that way.

    I don’t understand. When I used to work I couldn’t wait to get home to see him, I wouldn’t actually make plans with a friend until I found out what he was doing first. But he’s the opposite he makes plans for himself and sometimes us then tells me about it. It infurriates me that he doesn’t check with me. He doesn’t know the reason why he has to tell me.

    I do all the cooking and cleaning and housework and In five years he’s never done a load of launry or picked his clothes up or cleaned a dish or watched our daughter for more than an hour. And Ok there’s the argument that that’s my job and he does his job but I said to him my job is 24/7. I never get a break. Can u offer to watch our daughter for a couple hours Once? Or offer to change her or bathe her or play with her. He loves her so much I know he does really so why do I have to force him to do these things. And when he does do them because I’ve made him he acts helpless and he can’t handle it and saying oh she wants her Mommy she needs you, oh my back hurts take her. And he want’s more kids! If the father works really hard doesn’t he still owe a minimum amount of just bonding with his kid? I feel like our relationship has morphed into a 50’s the woman does this and the Man does this. I feel like a single Mom most days. We need help, what can I do? what can I say to get him to understand?

  102. My parents amaze me so much. They are like the typical asian parents who expect you to do better than everyone else and I read an article on why this is the reason why so many asians are successful. But what amazes me is that at the same time as expecting and nagging me to do well, they seem to be the root of me messing up. Actually its my choice to mess up to keep them happy by doing what they want. And in return I have to listen to how worthless I am and all my thoughts are wrong.

    I did exceptionally well in my GCSES, but they never really had involvement there (If i say, I was quite academically talented). Then I messed up my A levels, I messed up uni spending five years there and ending up with a diploma (and may I add that my father was only too happy that I stayed home and studied at the local uni regardless of what course I did). I decided to go away to travel to india and spend some time with family expecting to spend at least 3-4 weeks traveling too, but some how I managed to spend the whole 5 months with my extended family (which I enjoyed, but it would have been nice to have had gone traveling seeing as I had the time and it wasn’t like I didn’t plan to spend time with the family). And this was also down to my folks having involvement in what I do even though I was thousands of miles away! So I came back and applied for jobs and being under qualified, I couldn’t find anywhere close by. So I widened my search and managed to get an offer 50 miles away. It is an awesome opportunity they would train me and being a huge multi national company with huge contracts I had scope to progress. Now I was also expecting to return on weekends, but on low salary I can’t afford a car and traveling back home on weekends on local transport, especially on Sundays is too much of a hassle taking up to 3 hrs and so many changes. When the q came up I said I would come back now and then and of course they would be phoning to annoy me everyday anyway like they did when I went traveling (they totally ruined my day when they did this and I was supposed to be enjoying it) but they didn’t want to know and when I said ok i’ll tell them i’m turning down the offer they continued to have an argument with me and the best bit is they will have no regrets or feel bad for me for missing an opportunity thats potentially my big break and better in the long run.

    I guess this last thing about work sums up my boring worthless life. An opportunity comes my way and I have to turn it down to make my folks happy. and the thing is i’m not scared of loosing them, its other people in the family I care about which is why I choose to mess up my life otherwise I would have been long gone or even accepted this work offer without discussing it with my folks. And the only option is to now put myself into the family business but this is where it all gets typical again. because i’m younger than my elders ‘I know nothing’ and so while they’re around I just listen to them and do as i’m told. I even said to my dad I would be so into getting into business but what scope have i got if I can’t have any valid say or responsibility in the business (which by the way he knows the ideas I discuss in general about the business are always right. eg I told him to diversify and bring in certain products and he didn’t listen to me but years later he listens to outsiders and in a way is forced to due to economic and commodity pressures and its working).

    anyway i had my moan thanks for reading. i’ve decided now to put up with the crap at home, take a crappy call centre job, have no prospects, ambition or drive and learn the family business and wait for my uncle to retire so that i can be made a silent partner officially but loyal dog in terms of working.

    best wishes to all u other ppl i will wish that i am the only one to go through this as this situation really messes the head up, without drugs or alcohol abuse!

  103. I met a girl on a matchmaking service as I could use a diversion for my time while overseas as a deployed soldier in Iraq. She and I spoke for six months online before I was able to come home and finally meet her. We talked about everything- including past relationships. She mentioned how she had lived with an older guy for three years when she turned 18, but that she broke it off because she thought he had cheated on her, he didn’t treat her well, and he wasn’t willing to settle down and marry her. Once we met, she and I fell in love and everything was great for the first several months of our relationship- I even moved in with her after leaving the Army.

    She introduced me to many of her friends, one of them a guy who we will call Rick. Rick was very nice to me, always buying me drinks, and he even offered me a job if I wanted it as I had just left the service. My GF had started a restaurant, and Rick’s contracting company did the majority of the work on the building because she had asked him to do it. Rick even had an office upstairs in the building for his contracting company- right next to my GF’s. When my GFs restaurant opened its doors, my GF hired Rick’s sister to be his bookkeeper- and I was also introduced by my GF to Rick’s entire family when they came in for dinner (which was fairly often). Rick helped bartend for the opening night of the restaurant. My GF was best friends with Rick’s brother’s wife, and my GF would always run to Rick when there were problems with the restaurant. There were several times when I found them upstairs together- alone, talking about things with the door closed. I had my suspicions, so I asked my GF how she got to know Rick- and she said he was just a friend she had known through her best friend (the one who was married to Rick’s brother).

    It wasn’t until we had been actually dating for six months (but talking for over a year) that I discovered the truth about my GF and Rick, just by casual conversation when someone told me he had given her a cheap rate on the construction for the restaurant because they had dated in the past. As I’m sure you know by now, Rick was the guy my GF had lived with for three years. I confronted her about it, and her response was that yes, they had lived together and dated, but that things between them were over. I told her I didn’t want her to talk to him anymore- but it was an impossible request. His sister worked for her, he had a contract for the office upstairs (so he would almost be guaranteed to see her every day for the next two years) and her best friend was married to his brother, so it would be hard for her to see her best friend without occasionally seeing him as well.

    I started snooping around to satisfy my curiosity. Even though it had been a couple years since they dated, she still had BOXES of photos of them together on beaches in Mexico and Jamaica- a place she and I were planning to go. She had an “I Love You” video she made for him still on her computer. There were no photos of any other person she dated- just pictures of those two together. When I confronted her about this, she did throw the pictures away, but only after I told her about them.

    My GF reassured me that there was nothing going on, and I believed her. Rick told me the same thing when he found out I knew. I don’t think she wants to date him, but I think that for whatever reason she likes having him around. It has been five months since I learned of this, and I still can’t get over it- how inconsiderate she was to put me in this situation, how she deceived me by lying about it/not telling me about it (which I think is a HUGE deal), and how I never would have moved in with her if I had known the truth beforehand.

    Am I crazy to think that most people would want to leave their past behind instead of seeing it walk through the door everyday?

    I care about this girl, but this has been tearing me apart for five months and I don’t know how to get over it. I feel like if I had known about it sooner, I could’ve gotten over it- but the fact that she lied about it for so many months makes me not trust her. And here’s the kicker- before all this came out, she told me when she was younger she had an abortion- from someone else. She could tell me that (which I think is a MUCH bigger secret) but she didn’t want to tell me about Rick- doesn’t that sound fishy? I find myself looking for excuses to make her feel bad about dating him and lying about it- which I know is never a good sign.

    Any advice is welcome.

    Thanks.
    Now that I know this guy- and I’ve learned even more about his scumbaggery since first meeting him- it makes me wonder what kind of taste my GF had in men before meeting me…. It makes me feel like I could do better…especially since now I wonder what else she’s hiding from me (because I don’t feel like I can really trust her).

  104. my fiancee is such a stubborn guy, lovely, nice, devoted…but stubborn like…wow. He had a DWI and crashed his car like 3 years ago. Since then, he got a job, lost a job (cause it was a disreputable work place) and he has gone to court, which bumped DOWN his color for drug testing to once a month, instead of twice. If cooperative, he goes on unsupervised probation march 31. Well, he lost his job. He wouldnt call his PO nor call to see if his color was up. Everytime I asked him to call to see he would say “damnit, I know sarah! quit hounding me, I will do it. Quit pushing me, I hate that ” and he never does, the more I ask, the more pissed off he gets at me. I asked him to use my aunts phone and he was like “No, cause then they will never shut up” or he says” you know we can’t afford it, its 100$ at the hospital to get a drug test”. I try and get him off his butt to do something towards getting out of a rut and he just sits there and rather pretends it is not real..and when I tell him it wont go away he grits his teeth and scoffs going “ugh…I KNOW SARAH…shut up..” then he has this tendency to point the finger at me about being a messy person or something so I don’t have a halo around my head in that argument. Well, he had a warrant out cause of missed tests, turned himself in, went in front of a judge in a orange jumpsuit and shackles trying to reason and tell the judge he didn’t have a phone to contact nor money to do the tests, offered to be on a more frequent color rather than the 2 weeks jail time. Judge told him “well, couldnt you have used a pay phone, or mail a letter to your probation officer” he pauses five seconds and goes “well, I guess” then the judge says ” There is no legitamate reason why you failed to contact your PO for over…4 months.. So I am going to give you the 15 days cause I don’t think you would learn otherwise.” His mom was crying, was it bad that I was smiling???? I was mad, and equally like ” yeah, thats what you get for being stubborn ‘have it your way’ ” Anyway, when he gets out, if you were me, would you welcome him with open arms and a present (his Bday is Vday) or be pissed off….what would you do?

  105. My parents amaze me so much. They are like the typical asian parents who expect you to do better than everyone else and I read an article on why this is the reason why so many asians are successful. But what amazes me is that at the same time as expecting and nagging me to do well, they seem to be the root of me messing up. Actually its my choice to mess up to keep them happy by doing what they want. And in return I have to listen to how worthless I am and all my thoughts are wrong.

    I did exceptionally well in my GCSES, but they never really had involvement there (If i say, I was quite academically talented). Then I messed up my A levels, I messed up uni spending five years there and ending up with a diploma (and may I add that my father was only too happy that I stayed home and studied at the local uni regardless of what course I did). I decided to go away to travel to india and spend some time with family expecting to spend at least 3-4 weeks traveling too, but some how I managed to spend the whole 5 months with my extended family (which I enjoyed, but it would have been nice to have had gone traveling seeing as I had the time and it wasn’t like I didn’t plan to spend time with the family). And this was also down to my folks having involvement in what I do even though I was thousands of miles away! So I came back and applied for jobs and being under qualified, I couldn’t find anywhere close by. So I widened my search and managed to get an offer 50 miles away. It is an awesome opportunity they would train me and being a huge multi national company with huge contracts I had scope to progress. Now I was also expecting to return on weekends, but on low salary I can’t afford a car and traveling back home on weekends on local transport, especially on Sundays is too much of a hassle taking up to 3 hrs and so many changes. When the q came up I said I would come back now and then and of course they would be phoning to annoy me everyday anyway like they did when I went traveling (they totally ruined my day when they did this and I was supposed to be enjoying it) but they didn’t want to know and when I said ok i’ll tell them i’m turning down the offer they continued to have an argument with me and the best bit is they will have no regrets or feel bad for me for missing an opportunity thats potentially my big break and better in the long run.

    I guess this last thing about work sums up my boring worthless life. An opportunity comes my way and I have to turn it down to make my folks happy. and the thing is i’m not scared of loosing them, its other people in the family I care about which is why I choose to mess up my life otherwise I would have been long gone or even accepted this work offer without discussing it with my folks. And the only option is to now put myself into the family business but this is where it all gets typical again. because i’m younger than my elders ‘I know nothing’ and so while they’re around I just listen to them and do as i’m told. I even said to my dad I would be so into getting into business but what scope have i got if I can’t have any valid say or responsibility in the business (which by the way he knows the ideas I discuss in general about the business are always right. eg I told him to diversify and bring in certain products and he didn’t listen to me but years later he listens to outsiders and in a way is forced to due to economic and commodity pressures and its working).

    anyway i had my moan thanks for reading. i’ve decided now to put up with the crap at home, take a crappy call centre job, have no prospects, ambition or drive and learn the family business and wait for my uncle to retire so that i can be made a silent partner officially but loyal dog in terms of working.

    best wishes to all u other ppl i will wish that i am the only one to go through this as this situation really messes the head up, without drugs or alcohol abuse!

  106. This is imporatant to me, please read :S

    my fiancee is such a stubborn guy, lovely, nice, devoted…but stubborn like…wow. He had a DWI and crashed his car like 3 years ago. Since then, he got a job, lost a job (cause it was a disreputable work place) and he has gone to court, which bumped DOWN his color for drug testing to once a month, instead of twice. If cooperative, he goes on unsupervised probation march 31. Well, he lost his job. He wouldnt call his PO nor call to see if his color was up. Everytime I asked him to call to see he would say “damnit, I know sarah! quit hounding me, I will do it. Quit pushing me, I hate that ” and he never does, the more I ask, the more pissed off he gets at me. I asked him to use my aunts phone and he was like “No, cause then they will never shut up” or he says” you know we can’t afford it, its 100$ at the hospital to get a drug test”. I try and get him off his butt to do something towards getting out of a rut and he just sits there and rather pretends it is not real..and when I tell him it wont go away he grits his teeth and scoffs going “ugh…I KNOW SARAH…shut up..” then he has this tendency to point the finger at me about being a messy person or something so I don’t have a halo around my head in that argument. Well, he had a warrant out cause of missed tests, turned himself in, went in front of a judge in a orange jumpsuit and shackles trying to reason and tell the judge he didn’t have a phone to contact nor money to do the tests, offered to be on a more frequent color rather than the 2 weeks jail time. Judge told him “well, couldnt you have used a pay phone, or mail a letter to your probation officer” he pauses five seconds and goes “well, I guess” then the judge says ” There is no legitamate reason why you failed to contact your PO for over…4 months.. So I am going to give you the 15 days cause I don’t think you would learn otherwise.” His mom was crying, was it bad that I was smiling???? I was mad, and equally like ” yeah, thats what you get for being stubborn ‘have it your way’ ” Anyway, when he gets out, if you were me, would you welcome him with open arms and a present (his Bday is Vday) or be pissed off….what would you do?

  107. Hi I’m a 31 year old stay at home Mom with my adorable 13 month old daughter. I’ve been with my husband 5 years and I want to make our marriage work.We really need counseling to fix this and for us to both be happy and have both our needs met. I’m having a hard time getting my point thru to him. He just thinks he’s right and I’m wrong. He doesn’t believe a relationship needs constant work and it needs to be treated with the utmost care or it falls apart. He just thinks it is what it is and we don’t need professional help. I love him dearly but I’m having a hard time seeing us for many more years together unless theres a change. It’s actually pretty little work on his part. So this is my last resort, I’m going to quickly write down the basic problems and I’m so confused at this point, I’m asking for validation for my feelings. If any of u were in my shoes would u feel the same way? And feel free to tell me I’m wrong, whatever needs done to save our family I’ll do it but to live with quiet anger and resentment is not healthy.

    There’s three main issues. One is He works 60 to 70 hours a week and plays hockey 3 to 4 times a week. So I don’t really see him that much and when I do he’s worn out and tired or hungry or just want’s to relax. I said once maybe you could not go to hockey tonight and he took that as me taking him away from his passion.Thats so far from the truth, I would never want or ask him to quit. Thats a major problem with us in general. he constantly misunderstands me and it turns into a fight really fast.and part of me thinks if he knew me at all he wouldn’t misunderstand me so much. How can me wanting him to spend time with me turn into what I don’t even know because we have never ever talked thru and resolved a conflict. When we fight I feel like my big strong man turns into a child! Theres insults and back and forth and then he gets really vicious with his words and goes too far and hurts me. I end up with a stabbing pain in my heart that his little sentence that ended the fight will eventually end our marriage. i walk away, we stop fighting, it’s never cleared up or resolved because I guess we don’t know how. ( Hence why we need counseling) But if I were to go tell him that right now THAT would turn into a fight of why am I trying to ruin his day. The way he misunderstands me hurts as much as his deep comments. Because theres no reason for it, I’m so good to him. I’m always considerate of him, always do you want something dear you need something dear?What can I do for you? I would love if he returned a quarter of how I treat him. I def shown him by example.

    He’s a great provider and very generous with me, because he does make all the money and he works hard for us. I do appeciate that sooo much of course I do. That allows me to raise our child.

    The Hockey I think shouldn’t be more than 2 days a week.What marriage is healthy when the husband works 5 days until evening then plays up to four days. Any more than 2 days is just neglect. Neglect to our home and us and our child. but again he doesn’t see it that way.

    I don’t understand. When I used to work I couldn’t wait to get home to see him, I wouldn’t actually make plans with a friend until I found out what he was doing first. But he’s the opposite he makes plans for himself and sometimes us then tells me about it. It infurriates me that he doesn’t check with me. He doesn’t know the reason why he has to tell me.

    I do all the cooking and cleaning and housework and In five years he’s never done a load of launry or picked his clothes up or cleaned a dish or watched our daughter for more than an hour. And Ok there’s the argument that that’s my job and he does his job but I said to him my job is 24/7. I never get a break. Can u offer to watch our daughter for a couple hours Once? Or offer to change her or bathe her or play with her. He loves her so much I know he does really so why do I have to force him to do these things. And when he does do them because I’ve made him he acts helpless and he can’t handle it and saying oh she wants her Mommy she needs you, oh my back hurts take her. And he want’s more kids! If the father works really hard doesn’t he still owe a minimum amount of just bonding with his kid? I feel like our relationship has morphed into a 50’s the woman does this and the Man does this. I feel like a single Mom most days. We need help, what can I do? what can I say to get him to understand?

  108. I did ask a similar question but it was only for the last 2-3 paragraphs and I think that people thought that it was the begining, well heres the whole thing at the moment. Lastly I know that to older people it may not apeal, but this is a story for teens etc, so that may be the reason why. I know my grammar isn’t perfect and I understand that.

    Preface

    My name is Chezney Wilson. I’m not some famous celebrity chased by the paparazzi that you see tend to always see nowadays. I’m not even some random wannabe that tags along with the largest crowds just to be noticed and appreciated. I don’t want to be any of those people. I just want to be a normal and regular guy, that tries to help others as much as he can. Who does his best to try and make the world just that little better. Well I thought that I was just a normal and regular guy, but as it turned out, there was more to me then even I knew.

    Chapter One

    A New Start

    Being a lonely child and having your parents split up is incredibly hard. First of all, your most likely going to be confused, hurt and scared as you have no idea for if it is your fathers fault, your mothers or maybe even yours. That’s immediately how I felt when my parents got divorced, and these were my exact feelings on the twenty sixth of may, two thousand and ten, five days before my eighteenth birthday, when I found myself sitting beside my Dad, Harry Wilson, in the front passenger seat of his shiny new black Porsche. My Dad is kind of rich; he had a big job in a hospital. Actually he was known as the best doctor in all Seattle which I think that this was the problem, that my Mom, didn’t think that my Dad spent enough time at home. However now that we had left Seattle; due to both his and my Mom’s, final decision. My Dad has been offered a new job as the chief doctor in Traverse City, Michigan. I don’t really pay any attention to the fact that my Dad earns a great deal of money each year, as cash isn’t really everything, its really all about what you want to do in life. That is why in the backseat, my bass guitar is safely lieing down on a few fully packed suitcases. Music is just one of the subjects that I fully enjoy, to me life without music is simply unbearable, I play guitar and sometimes only when I’m alone, I tend to sing a little. When school is involved, I’m not exactly the cleverest in my classes, I guess you can say that I’m an average B plus student. I put a lot of effort into my education as its important and a few good grades, can make nice decorations on the kitchen refrigerator.
    After a another slow two and a half hour drive, we soon started to arrive at the city’s entrance. Feeling extremely bored due to the lack of activity, I gazed into the small side view mirror and took a good look at my appearance, ready for when we finally got out of the car. As I swept my long and dark fringe away from my right eye, my hard, piercing and still a little upset, blue eye slowly blinked back in my direction. Apart from the clear signs of lack of sleep that had started to creep around the bottom of both of my eyes, they seemed to both looked perfectly fine.
    “That’s what you need, plenty of sleep,” remarked my Dad suddenly, still keeping his eyes on the busy road in front of us as we slowly came to a short bend. This remark sounded strange because apart from the quick, ‘Are you ready?’ he had asked before we had left, this was the first thing that he had said throughout the whole trip.
    “Maybe,” I muttered, not taking any notice of what he had just said. As I looked away from the side view mirror, I managed to catch a small glimpse of the city’s tall welcome sign, as it towered above us for just a quick a second. Feeling awkward, he slowly shuffled around in his seat and then took a quick sip of his strong smelling black coffee. Wanting to avoid this awkward moment, I looked out of my window and noticed that there were a lot of people and stores flashing by, then there had been around five minutes ago.
    As we gradually began to drive deeper into the city, it soon became to feel incredibly boring. For no apparent reason, I tightly closed my eyes and reopened them five minutes later, to find that we had just left the city and now started to pass the most beautiful looking beach that I had ever seen. As if the beach was somehow controlling me, I rolled down my window, allowing a gentle breeze to enter, so that I could see everything even more clearly. Everything about the beach looked amazing its golden sand as it glinted in the strong sun light and the clear deep blue water.
    “I knew that you would like this place,” Dad eagerly remarked, as he took a quick and hopeful look in my direction. Without answering, I knew inside that he was right, this place was extreme. “Kind of beautiful isn’t it?” he asked, as we stopped at a set of lights, to let a group of laughing teens, carrying surf boards, cross the road. Giving the beach one last look, I turned to look at Dad, as I

  109. i am nearly blinde, not completely but nearly. i just went to my gonna be high school to take the placement testing with all the other eighth graders. sinc e i am nearly blinde, my braille teacher signed me up to get a large print test booklit, no big deal right? well they all turned it into something bigger than it was, very insulting. so i had to go and tell some lady that i needed a large print test booklit, so i said “i’ve been signed up to use a large print test booklit”
    the lady goes. “you mean you need special accomidations.”
    “no, just a large print test booklit.”
    “no that would be considered special accomidations, come with me” she made me stand off to the side, with all the kids in special ed, and yes, i am in special ed, but TO READ BRAILLE not becuase i can’t comprehend the stuff they through at me, i am in all the gifted classes, and i’m planning on being advanced placement, in everything in high school.
    so i am standing their with all the support kids, and i ask “am i going to be in the room i was assigned too?” because that was really important to me, not to be seperated from my friend, who i was getting a ride home with, (we have the same last initial, so we were in the same room)
    and she said “we’ll see”
    she looked for my name on her list, and couldn’t find it, i told her “thats because i am not supposed to be here, i am supposed to be in s229.”
    she goes in a high pitched talking slow, almost parent ease voice “don’t worry, we’ll get you tested, just sit down iin here.”
    “but i am not supposed to be in here.”
    “yeah, i know, we’ll figure it out” same voice.
    then they would not let me fill out the forms myself, there was one wehre we were supposed to mark in all our grades this year in our classes, i told the lady that i get a’s in everything. and she was all “good job, you must be smart” then they asked if we were in excelerated classes, she almost filled in no, before i told her that i was in excelerated classes. they locked me in a room, with the lady, to mark the answers for me. that is what they do for the all blind kids, i told them over and over again, that i don’t need that, i can see. really i can. but nope, it was really offending, how they forced me to do this stuff. so i answer the first test, and the lady, makes me give her a high five, and she tells me “good job,” in the high pitched parent ease voice, and i give her a weak, please don’t talk to me in that tone, voice. this happened three more times with the three tests, and by this time, i was feeling very offended that they assumed that i was not smart enough to be in excelerated, and that i was in the room for other reasons, by the time i was in sixth grade, i was making accomadations for myself by myself, that they trained me to do in grade school, so all of this was really offending.
    then i finished, the science portion, and she said, “congradulations, your done, you can go home now.” i look at her like she’s the one who’s being treated meantly ill, and say, “no, i am staying for the writing portion” which is what you have to stay for to get into AP writing, which of coarse is very important to me, they just assumed i wasn’t going to take it, they didn’t even offer it to me. which is offending, but then the other lady, that made come in there at all, said to me, “you know, you don’t have to take it.” in the parent ease voice
    i say, “i know, but i want to be in A P English.” and she rolls her eyes at me and says, “if you want too.” in a ‘waisting your time’ kind of way.
    so i take this test and get out of their, and she asks me if i wanted to use the schools phone to call my mom, now i know, from talking to the special ed kids, (lots of them are friends of mine, out of coincidence) and they have hard families, lots of them don’t even have mothers, and i think she shouldn’t have said that, i nearly said, “no, i can’t call her, she’s dead.” but i didn’t because i don’t have the guts, so i walked out of there, feeling really angry that people would treat me like that, slump me with the support kids. my dad said i should have protested against taking the test, he said that might even cause me to get a lower test grade, my mom thinks that she will call some poeple and figure out who did it, so that she can get them in trouble for discrimination, lots of people do things like that to me, and usually, i can just move right past it, but this time,. its really burning. what do you think i should do? nothing rude please.
    i don’t have a 504, but i do have an iep, and they just call it special ed just the same, becuase my braille teacher works for a company run by special ed, and that doesn’t really help me with discrimination, or high school placement testing.
    I have all the things that you list, and i do know about my terrible spelling, S just one of those regular problems i have to work on, and it doesn’t help that i type faster than i should (about 80 wpm ranther than 50 wpm) and i have a really old keyboard, about as old as me, but thanks for reminding me, and being considerate, but in future, i read bad spelling better than anyone, because, i use it.

  110. I know this is long but if you’re a reg, TC or professional, please consider reading this even if you don’t want to respond. I honestly don’t know what to do with myself. Many regs here know that I state that I am a qualified mental health practitioner. That is true – I would never lie about a qualification I do not have or pretend to be somebody I am not.

    I do not currently work in mental health because of a traumatic even 12 months ago. I was set-up by an angry ex-partner when I found out he was having an affair and threatened to tell his ‘other woman’.

    In order to stop me, he got me sectioned. Very easy for him to do as he was a police sergeant. It took one call and I was dragged off for no reason. He told them I was about to commit suicide. I was not. He just wanted me out of the way to buy himself time to protect himself.

    I was treated ok by the police, but horrendously by hospital staff including members of the crisis team and ward staff. My level of distress grew tenfold every day because they kept tricking me over and over, saying I only needed to stay one night then I could go, Three days later they were still holding me. I was crying and begging to be freed but they told me I could not go. The section had been lifted before I even got to hospital for assessment (yes, really!). They had no holding powers on me and they kept telling me I was there voluntarily. I was not. To this day in my notes it says I was there on a voluntary basis yet I tried everything to try to get out.

    They had told me I was not able to see a psychiatrist for another 12 days as they only visited the ward every 2 weeks. Being a mental health practitioner, I knew this was rubbish and knew my legal rights and so I called a solicitor. She visited the ward twice and told the staff they were holding me illegally. She told them they must either let me go or section me. On both occasions, the staff told her they would call a psychiatrist and get them to assess me that same day with a view to allowing me to go home, The solicitor would leave the ward, and the staff would NOT call a psychiatrist to come and talk to me, In fact they did nothing but lie and abuse me. I did not eat one single thing for five days and had less than two tiny cups of water each day. In fact it was only after I left that I realised that at no point did they offer me food. I was exhausted, weak, angry and actually began to feel genuinely suicidal over the captivity and deceit. I looked for ways to end my life and found none. I could not believe what was happening to me – as if finding out the man I’d been with for two years had been cheating the whole time, not ON me with WITH ME. I was his ‘other woman’ but neither his partner nor myself had any inkling. He lived a double life that whole time and now I was having to face this trauma which went against EVERYTHING I’d been taught at university and every instict I had.

    After several days, I actually escaped from the psychiatric ward. I cannot tell you how because I do not want to give vulnerable people who NEED to be in hospital ideas on how to get out, but escape I did, and I jumped on the first bus I saw and fled to a train station and got many miles away. I hid there for two weeks, staying each night in a different hotel, paying for everything with cash so I could not be traced via bank statements.

    On three occasions I was returning to the hotels for the night after a day quite literally on the run and found police cars parked outside. I ran and hid until they left, convinced they had tracked me down and were waiting to transport me back to Hell behind locked doors.

    Eventually I returned home. The police turned up several minutes after I returned. It was a dumb cop probably too delirious from doughnut munching to care about his job. He found me eventually, hiding in my wardrobe. He didn’t even know the circumstances or that I was supposed to be in hospital. In fact he knew nothing except one of the neighbours had called the police after seeing me return. The police had apparently asked the neighbours to call 999 if any of them saw me, and one of them had. He didn’t know why he’d been sent. Somehow I managed to blag my way out of it and he left, clueless.

    Since then, I have had the biggest hatred for mental health services like you wouldn’t believe. My anger boils constantly because they have taken away my career – I can no longer work with other MH professionals because I trust NONE. My answers here on Yahoo Answers are my only way of exercising what I have learnt and my urge to help and advise others is as strong as it ever was.

    I feel traumatised by my experience. I will never and can never work with mental health services again, either as a patient or professional. My instinct to keep every tiny aspect of my life incredibly private is so strong that I barely talk to anybody now.

    What do I do? Please don’t suggest counse
    Sorry – counselling or anything to do with mental health. I am scared, angry and lost.
    DD, I’ll try to answer with not many characters!

    In the UK a psychiatrist MUST assess patient before discharge even if they are there voluntarily. Nobody can just walk out at any time. Legally if a vol. patient asks to leave, they need to call a psych during the day and ask them to come and eval with a view to discharge. Staff said they would call one, but then refused to do so. The solicitor would have been breaking the law trying to get me out without an eval.

    The unit was locked & staff on the door 24/7. I could not just walk out. Bars on windows, that kind of thing.

    I would have refused food regardless. I had not taken anything prior to admission & they do blood tests to check this. No meds/drugs/alcohol in system. ‘Inmates’ flocked to kitchen area at mealtimes but I was never called for a meal or told I had to eat. Nobody offered to bring toast to my room, for example. I refused to eat/sit with patients as I would be seen to be complying with their abuse & I was not a patient a
    I was not a patient and did not want a reputation of being amongst the others patients (I would not socialise in case of of them knew me!)

    Cannot go back and ‘get records’. Here you have to apply to see medical records and they only give you the very basic stuff that they don’t mind you reading. No way would info in there from that lock up be released to me.

    After I left I was hiding because I had escaped from a locked psychiatric ward. The police kept calling my mobile and leaving messages asking me to go back or meet them anywhere I wanted. I was on ‘red alert’ – what the cops call ‘high risk missing’ partly due to the state I was in when I left and partly due to absconding. It means police were out looking for me and could 136 me in the street and take me back if they found me (sectioning in a public place). I was not scared by the cop/ex. I knew he wouldn’t hurt me – we are not talking domestic violence. It’s abuse of power but he never ever physically hurt me in any way.
    DD, I’ll try to answer with not many characters!

    In the UK a psychiatrist MUST assess patient before discharge even if they are there voluntarily. Nobody can just walk out at any time. Legally if a vol. patient asks to leave, they need to call a psych during the day and ask them to come and eval with a view to discharge. Staff said they would call one, but then refused to do so. The solicitor would have been breaking the law trying to get me out without an eval.

    The unit was locked & staff on the door 24/7. I could not just walk out. Bars on windows, that kind of thing.

    I would have refused food regardless. I had not taken anything prior to admission & they do blood tests to check this. No meds/drugs/alcohol in system. ‘Inmates’ flocked to kitchen area at mealtimes but I was never called for a meal or told I had to eat. Nobody offered to bring toast to my room, for example. I refused to eat/sit with patients as I would be seen to be complying with their abuse & I was not a patient a

  111. Step daughter is 23 with a kid. She graduated college 18 mos ago. She had a baby, has never worked a day in her life. My husband has been paying for everything. He is now regretting it. It is debilitating her. She lives with the belief that she does not have to work and she can use anyone anyway she wants. My husband is likely going to be laid off. It dawned on me today that he basically treated her like his wife (without the spousal duties). He has 3 kids. He bought her a brand new car, a 1000 dollar great dane, designer everything, a condo, top notch furniture. all she has to do is well – nothing. He pays Cobra Insurance for her because she is a grown up and the insurance lapsed.

    She has been fighting custody over the baby with the father, but really all they (the father of the baby) want is standard visitation. She lives in another state and we have asked her to come home but she won’t because of one reason or another (including the father of the baby won’t allow it). We told her she could come live here, but who would want to leave a spacious condo with cherry hardwood floors to live in a crowded house, right? We offered that we could watch the baby while she works if she moves down here. She said no, she was going to go to graduate school.

    She wants the father of the baby not to have any rights whatsoever, so she wants about $10,000 to pay for a lawyer. My husband said he is no longer going to pay her way and that he agrees that he has been allowing her to live in a fantasy world and he wants to stop doing this.

    She was just hired for a job for $15 an hour and full benefits, he would have been willing to continue making house payments to help her out until she could get on her feet, but she turned down the job because she felt that daycare would be traumatic on the 10 month old baby. Then she called back and said she just bought a GPS navigation system for 200 bucks and could dad please put money in her account! I was floored. I have been in the situation of having a child alone and I never in my wildest dreams would have thought to have bought a “luxury” item, especially when it was not needed.

    I am also worried because she is so set on being able to give her infant daughter psychotic meds because she thinks that the child may need it in the future and does not want the father of this infant to have any say so. I just have this feeling like my husband is going behind my back and going to give her money the minute she starts crying. She refuses to accept any responsibility. She won’t get a job. She makes excuses, she is manipulative and she knows exactly what to say to get money from her dad. He doesn’t have a backbone where she’s concerned. When he tells her to do something, he says it in a manner that sounds more like he is afraid to get through to her she cannot carry on like this. He is afraid of losing her.

    She honestly believes that the salary my husband makes is her salary. She acts as though she has the same rights as a spouse. My husband and I have talked but I am having serious doubts that he will follow through.

    She calls him an a-hole and then turns around and talks about him dying and tells him that since he married me, if affects her inheritance. They sat at Thanksgiving Dinner and told their dad that he needed to go die basically. But he does not hear what his kids tell him or basically takes it as a joke. My kids have never told me to go die (maybe go to hell, but not die). Then she started in that the dishes that were given to him in his first wife’s marriage (she deceased) and that she wants them and is entitled to them. He bought many of the pieces to make it a complete set. We would likely have given them to her later, but she feels some direct and immediate entitlement to them.

    So today I heard her talking about my five year and making accusations that were not true and I just yelled at my husband who was ever so nicely telling her she was not being appropriate, I told her to take care of herself and her child and quit manipulating her father. He got mad at me because she hung up on him. I told him I did not care to hear anymore because all she does is talk. I am thinking I should get a job albeit it would be considerably less than what he could make, but I may end up having to leave because I am really having a hard time thinking I could live with this. I had not realized he is basically married to this child, who thinks she has entitlement.

    I have been through a lot of sad times, I have been through rough times. My parents were well off and did not offer me a “bail out” I went through college nursing a child and working. I did not get ammenities like a PC to type my papers I had to drive over an hour to get to a computer and usually had to stay up 3-4 days at a time during finals weeks. I don’t desire more money or “things” for myself. I can take care of myself. It’s the attitude of this girl and the way she treats her father that makes me infu

  112. my fiancee is such a stubborn guy, lovely, nice, devoted…but stubborn like…wow. He had a DWI and crashed his car like 3 years ago. Since then, he got a job, lost a job (cause it was a disreputable work place) and he has gone to court, which bumped DOWN his color for drug testing to once a month, instead of twice. If cooperative, he goes on unsupervised probation march 31. Well, he lost his job. He wouldnt call his PO nor call to see if his color was up. Everytime I asked him to call to see he would say “damnit, I know sarah! quit hounding me, I will do it. Quit pushing me, I hate that ” and he never does, the more I ask, the more pissed off he gets at me. I asked him to use my aunts phone and he was like “No, cause then they will never shut up” or he says” you know we can’t afford it, its 100$ at the hospital to get a drug test”. I try and get him off his butt to do something towards getting out of a rut and he just sits there and rather pretends it is not real..and when I tell him it wont go away he grits his teeth and scoffs going “ugh…I KNOW SARAH…shut up..” then he has this tendency to point the finger at me about being a messy person or something so I don’t have a halo around my head in that argument. Well, he had a warrant out cause of missed tests, turned himself in, went in front of a judge in a orange jumpsuit and shackles trying to reason and tell the judge he didn’t have a phone to contact nor money to do the tests, offered to be on a more frequent color rather than the 2 weeks jail time. Judge told him “well, couldnt you have used a pay phone, or mail a letter to your probation officer” he pauses five seconds and goes “well, I guess” then the judge says ” There is no legitamate reason why you failed to contact your PO for over…4 months.. So I am going to give you the 15 days cause I don’t think you would learn otherwise.” His mom was crying, was it bad that I was smiling???? I was mad, and equally like ” yeah, thats what you get for being stubborn ‘have it your way’ ” Anyway, when he gets out, if you were me, would you welcome him with open arms and a present (his Bday is Vday) or be pissed off….what would you do?

  113. I met a girl on a matchmaking service as I could use a diversion for my time while overseas as a deployed soldier in Iraq. She and I spoke for six months online before I was able to come home and finally meet her. We talked about everything- including past relationships. She mentioned how she had lived with an older guy for three years when she turned 18, but that she broke it off because she thought he had cheated on her, he didn’t treat her well, and he wasn’t willing to settle down and marry her. Once we met, she and I fell in love and everything was great for the first several months of our relationship- I even moved in with her after leaving the Army.

    She introduced me to many of her friends, one of them a guy who we will call Rick. Rick was very nice to me, always buying me drinks, and he even offered me a job if I wanted it as I had just left the service. My GF had started a restaurant, and Rick’s contracting company did the majority of the work on the building because she had asked him to do it. Rick even had an office upstairs in the building for his contracting company- right next to my GF’s. When my GFs restaurant opened its doors, my GF hired Rick’s sister to be his bookkeeper- and I was also introduced by my GF to Rick’s entire family when they came in for dinner (which was fairly often). Rick helped bartend for the opening night of the restaurant. My GF was best friends with Rick’s brother’s wife, and my GF would always run to Rick when there were problems with the restaurant. There were several times when I found them upstairs together- alone, talking about things with the door closed. I had my suspicions, so I asked my GF how she got to know Rick- and she said he was just a friend she had known through her best friend (the one who was married to Rick’s brother).

    It wasn’t until we had been actually dating for six months (but talking for over a year) that I discovered the truth about my GF and Rick, just by casual conversation when someone told me he had given her a cheap rate on the construction for the restaurant because they had dated in the past. As I’m sure you know by now, Rick was the guy my GF had lived with for three years. I confronted her about it, and her response was that yes, they had lived together and dated, but that things between them were over. I told her I didn’t want her to talk to him anymore- but it was an impossible request. His sister worked for her, he had a contract for the office upstairs (so he would almost be guaranteed to see her every day for the next two years) and her best friend was married to his brother, so it would be hard for her to see her best friend without occasionally seeing him as well.

    I started snooping around to satisfy my curiosity. Even though it had been a couple years since they dated, she still had BOXES of photos of them together on beaches in Mexico and Jamaica- a place she and I were planning to go. She had an “I Love You” video she made for him still on her computer. There were no photos of any other person she dated- just pictures of those two together. When I confronted her about this, she did throw the pictures away, but only after I told her about them.

    My GF reassured me that there was nothing going on, and I believed her. Rick told me the same thing when he found out I knew. I don’t think she wants to date him, but I think that for whatever reason she likes having him around. It has been five months since I learned of this, and I still can’t get over it- how inconsiderate she was to put me in this situation, how she deceived me by lying about it/not telling me about it (which I think is a HUGE deal), and how I never would have moved in with her if I had known the truth beforehand.

    Am I crazy to think that most people would want to leave their past behind instead of seeing it walk through the door everyday?

    I care about this girl, but this has been tearing me apart for five months and I don’t know how to get over it. I feel like if I had known about it sooner, I could’ve gotten over it- but the fact that she lied about it for so many months makes me not trust her. And here’s the kicker- before all this came out, she told me when she was younger she had an abortion- from someone else. She could tell me that (which I think is a MUCH bigger secret) but she didn’t want to tell me about Rick- doesn’t that sound fishy? I find myself looking for excuses to make her feel bad about dating him and lying about it- which I know is never a good sign.

    Any advice is welcome.

    Thanks.
    Now that I know this guy- and I’ve learned even more about his scumbaggery since first meeting him- it makes me wonder what kind of taste my GF had in men before meeting me…. It makes me feel like I could do better…especially since now I wonder what else she’s hiding from me (because I don’t feel like I can really trust her).

  114. I met a girl on a matchmaking service as I could use a diversion for my time while overseas as a deployed soldier in Iraq. She and I spoke for six months online before I was able to come home and finally meet her. We talked about everything- including past relationships. She mentioned how she had lived with an older guy for three years when she turned 18, but that she broke it off because she thought he had cheated on her, he didn’t treat her well, and he wasn’t willing to settle down and marry her. Once we met, she and I fell in love and everything was great for the first several months of our relationship- I even moved in with her after leaving the Army.

    She introduced me to many of her friends, one of them a guy who we will call Rick. Rick was very nice to me, always buying me drinks, and he even offered me a job if I wanted it as I had just left the service. My GF had started a restaurant, and Rick’s contracting company did the majority of the work on the building because she had asked him to do it. Rick even had an office upstairs in the building for his contracting company- right next to my GF’s. When my GFs restaurant opened its doors, my GF hired Rick’s sister to be his bookkeeper- and I was also introduced by my GF to Rick’s entire family when they came in for dinner (which was fairly often). Rick helped bartend for the opening night of the restaurant. My GF was best friends with Rick’s brother’s wife, and my GF would always run to Rick when there were problems with the restaurant. There were several times when I found them upstairs together- alone, talking about things with the door closed. I had my suspicions, so I asked my GF how she got to know Rick- and she said he was just a friend she had known through her best friend (the one who was married to Rick’s brother).

    It wasn’t until we had been actually dating for six months (but talking for over a year) that I discovered the truth about my GF and Rick, just by casual conversation when someone told me he had given her a cheap rate on the construction for the restaurant because they had dated in the past. As I’m sure you know by now, Rick was the guy my GF had lived with for three years. I confronted her about it, and her response was that yes, they had lived together and dated, but that things between them were over. I told her I didn’t want her to talk to him anymore- but it was an impossible request. His sister worked for her, he had a contract for the office upstairs (so he would almost be guaranteed to see her every day for the next two years) and her best friend was married to his brother, so it would be hard for her to see her best friend without occasionally seeing him as well.

    I started snooping around to satisfy my curiosity. Even though it had been a couple years since they dated, she still had BOXES of photos of them together on beaches in Mexico and Jamaica- a place she and I were planning to go. She had an “I Love You” video she made for him still on her computer. There were no photos of any other person she dated- just pictures of those two together. When I confronted her about this, she did throw the pictures away, but only after I told her about them.

    My GF reassured me that there was nothing going on, and I believed her. Rick told me the same thing when he found out I knew. I don’t think she wants to date him, but I think that for whatever reason she likes having him around. It has been five months since I learned of this, and I still can’t get over it- how inconsiderate she was to put me in this situation, how she deceived me by lying about it/not telling me about it

  115. I know this is long but if you’re a reg, TC or professional, please consider reading this even if you don’t want to respond. I honestly don’t know what to do with myself. Many regs here know that I state that I am a qualified mental health practitioner. That is true – I would never lie about a qualification I do not have or pretend to be somebody I am not.

    I do not currently work in mental health because of a traumatic even 12 months ago. I was set-up by an angry ex-partner when I found out he was having an affair and threatened to tell his ‘other woman’.

    In order to stop me, he got me sectioned. Very easy for him to do as he was a police sergeant. It took one call and I was dragged off for no reason. He told them I was about to commit suicide. I was not. He just wanted me out of the way to buy himself time to protect himself.

    I was treated ok by the police, but horrendously by hospital staff including members of the crisis team and ward staff. My level of distress grew tenfold every day because they kept tricking me over and over, saying I only needed to stay one night then I could go, Three days later they were still holding me. I was crying and begging to be freed but they told me I could not go. The section had been lifted before I even got to hospital for assessment (yes, really!). They had no holding powers on me and they kept telling me I was there voluntarily. I was not. To this day in my notes it says I was there on a voluntary basis yet I tried everything to try to get out.

    They had told me I was not able to see a psychiatrist for another 12 days as they only visited the ward every 2 weeks. Being a mental health practitioner, I knew this was rubbish and knew my legal rights and so I called a solicitor. She visited the ward twice and told the staff they were holding me illegally. She told them they must either let me go or section me. On both occasions, the staff told her they would call a psychiatrist and get them to assess me that same day with a view to allowing me to go home, The solicitor would leave the ward, and the staff would NOT call a psychiatrist to come and talk to me, In fact they did nothing but lie and abuse me. I did not eat one single thing for five days and had less than two tiny cups of water each day. In fact it was only after I left that I realised that at no point did they offer me food. I was exhausted, weak, angry and actually began to feel genuinely suicidal over the captivity and deceit. I looked for ways to end my life and found none. I could not believe what was happening to me – as if finding out the man I’d been with for two years had been cheating the whole time, not ON me with WITH ME. I was his ‘other woman’ but neither his partner nor myself had any inkling. He lived a double life that whole time and now I was having to face this trauma which went against EVERYTHING I’d been taught at university and every instict I had.

    After several days, I actually escaped from the psychiatric ward. I cannot tell you how because I do not want to give vulnerable people who NEED to be in hospital ideas on how to get out, but escape I did, and I jumped on the first bus I saw and fled to a train station and got many miles away. I hid there for two weeks, staying each night in a different hotel, paying for everything with cash so I could not be traced via bank statements.

    On three occasions I was returning to the hotels for the night after a day quite literally on the run and found police cars parked outside. I ran and hid until they left, convinced they had tracked me down and were waiting to transport me back to Hell behind locked doors.

    Eventually I returned home. The police turned up several minutes after I returned. It was a dumb cop probably too delirious from doughnut munching to care about his job. He found me eventually, hiding in my wardrobe. He didn’t even know the circumstances or that I was supposed to be in hospital. In fact he knew nothing except one of the neighbours had called the police after seeing me return. The police had apparently asked the neighbours to call 999 if any of them saw me, and one of them had. He didn’t know why he’d been sent. Somehow I managed to blag my way out of it and he left, clueless.

    Since then, I have had the biggest hatred for mental health services like you wouldn’t believe. My anger boils constantly because they have taken away my career – I can no longer work with other MH professionals because I trust NONE. My answers here on Yahoo Answers are my only way of exercising what I have learnt and my urge to help and advise others is as strong as it ever was.

    I feel traumatised by my experience. I will never and can never work with mental health services again, either as a patient or professional. My instinct to keep every tiny aspect of my life incredibly private is so strong that I barely talk to anybody now.

    What do I do? Please don’t suggest counse
    Sorry – counselling or anything to do with mental health. I am scared, angry and lost.
    DD, I’ll try to answer with not many characters!

    In the UK a psychiatrist MUST assess patient before discharge even if they are there voluntarily. Nobody can just walk out at any time. Legally if a vol. patient asks to leave, they need to call a psych during the day and ask them to come and eval with a view to discharge. Staff said they would call one, but then refused to do so. The solicitor would have been breaking the law trying to get me out without an eval.

    The unit was locked & staff on the door 24/7. I could not just walk out. Bars on windows, that kind of thing.

    I would have refused food regardless. I had not taken anything prior to admission & they do blood tests to check this. No meds/drugs/alcohol in system. ‘Inmates’ flocked to kitchen area at mealtimes but I was never called for a meal or told I had to eat. Nobody offered to bring toast to my room, for example. I refused to eat/sit with patients as I would be seen to be complying with their abuse & I was not a patient a
    I was not a patient and did not want a reputation of being amongst the others patients (I would not socialise in case of of them knew me!)

    Cannot go back and ‘get records’. Here you have to apply to see medical records and they only give you the very basic stuff that they don’t mind you reading. No way would info in there from that lock up be released to me.

    After I left I was hiding because I had escaped from a locked psychiatric ward. The police kept calling my mobile and leaving messages asking me to go back or meet them anywhere I wanted. I was on ‘red alert’ – what the cops call ‘high risk missing’ partly due to the state I was in when I left and partly due to absconding. It means police were out looking for me and could 136 me in the street and take me back if they found me (sectioning in a public place). I was not scared by the cop/ex. I knew he wouldn’t hurt me – we are not talking domestic violence. It’s abuse of power but he never ever physically hurt me in any way.
    DD, I’ll try to answer with not many characters!

    In the UK a psychiatrist MUST assess patient before discharge even if they are there voluntarily. Nobody can just walk out at any time. Legally if a vol. patient asks to leave, they need to call a psych during the day and ask them to come and eval with a view to discharge. Staff said they would call one, but then refused to do so. The solicitor would have been breaking the law trying to get me out without an eval.

    The unit was locked & staff on the door 24/7. I could not just walk out. Bars on windows, that kind of thing.

    I would have refused food regardless. I had not taken anything prior to admission & they do blood tests to check this. No meds/drugs/alcohol in system. ‘Inmates’ flocked to kitchen area at mealtimes but I was never called for a meal or told I had to eat. Nobody offered to bring toast to my room, for example. I refused to eat/sit with patients as I would be seen to be complying with their abuse & I was not a patient a

  116. Hi I’m a 31 year old stay at home Mom with my adorable 13 month old daughter. I’ve been with my husband 5 years and I want to make our marriage work.We really need counseling to fix this and for us to both be happy and have both our needs met. I’m having a hard time getting my point thru to him. He just thinks he’s right and I’m wrong. He doesn’t believe a relationship needs constant work and it needs to be treated with the utmost care or it falls apart. He just thinks it is what it is and we don’t need professional help. I love him dearly but I’m having a hard time seeing us for many more years together unless theres a change. It’s actually pretty little work on his part. So this is my last resort, I’m going to quickly write down the basic problems and I’m so confused at this point, I’m asking for validation for my feelings. If any of u were in my shoes would u feel the same way? And feel free to tell me I’m wrong, whatever needs done to save our family I’ll do it but to live with quiet anger and resentment is not healthy.

    There’s three main issues. One is He works 60 to 70 hours a week and plays hockey 3 to 4 times a week. So I don’t really see him that much and when I do he’s worn out and tired or hungry or just want’s to relax. I said once maybe you could not go to hockey tonight and he took that as me taking him away from his passion.Thats so far from the truth, I would never want or ask him to quit. Thats a major problem with us in general. he constantly misunderstands me and it turns into a fight really fast.and part of me thinks if he knew me at all he wouldn’t misunderstand me so much. How can me wanting him to spend time with me turn into what I don’t even know because we have never ever talked thru and resolved a conflict. When we fight I feel like my big strong man turns into a child! Theres insults and back and forth and then he gets really vicious with his words and goes too far and hurts me. I end up with a stabbing pain in my heart that his little sentence that ended the fight will eventually end our marriage. i walk away, we stop fighting, it’s never cleared up or resolved because I guess we don’t know how. ( Hence why we need counseling) But if I were to go tell him that right now THAT would turn into a fight of why am I trying to ruin his day. The way he misunderstands me hurts as much as his deep comments. Because theres no reason for it, I’m so good to him. I’m always considerate of him, always do you want something dear you need something dear?What can I do for you? I would love if he returned a quarter of how I treat him. I def shown him by example.

    He’s a great provider and very generous with me, because he does make all the money and he works hard for us. I do appeciate that sooo much of course I do. That allows me to raise our child.

    The Hockey I think shouldn’t be more than 2 days a week.What marriage is healthy when the husband works 5 days until evening then plays up to four days. Any more than 2 days is just neglect. Neglect to our home and us and our child. but again he doesn’t see it that way.

    I don’t understand. When I used to work I couldn’t wait to get home to see him, I wouldn’t actually make plans with a friend until I found out what he was doing first. But he’s the opposite he makes plans for himself and sometimes us then tells me about it. It infurriates me that he doesn’t check with me. He doesn’t know the reason why he has to tell me.

    I do all the cooking and cleaning and housework and In five years he’s never done a load of launry or picked his clothes up or cleaned a dish or watched our daughter for more than an hour. And Ok there’s the argument that that’s my job and he does his job but I said to him my job is 24/7. I never get a break. Can u offer to watch our daughter for a couple hours Once? Or offer to change her or bathe her or play with her. He loves her so much I know he does really so why do I have to force him to do these things. And when he does do them because I’ve made him he acts helpless and he can’t handle it and saying oh she wants her Mommy she needs you, oh my back hurts take her. And he want’s more kids! If the father works really hard doesn’t he still owe a minimum amount of just bonding with his kid? I feel like our relationship has morphed into a 50’s the woman does this and the Man does this. I feel like a single Mom most days. We need help, what can I do? what can I say to get him to understand?

  117. This is imporatant to me, please read :S

    my fiancee is such a stubborn guy, lovely, nice, devoted…but stubborn like…wow. He had a DWI and crashed his car like 3 years ago. Since then, he got a job, lost a job (cause it was a disreputable work place) and he has gone to court, which bumped DOWN his color for drug testing to once a month, instead of twice. If cooperative, he goes on unsupervised probation march 31. Well, he lost his job. He wouldnt call his PO nor call to see if his color was up. Everytime I asked him to call to see he would say “damnit, I know sarah! quit hounding me, I will do it. Quit pushing me, I hate that ” and he never does, the more I ask, the more pissed off he gets at me. I asked him to use my aunts phone and he was like “No, cause then they will never shut up” or he says” you know we can’t afford it, its 100$ at the hospital to get a drug test”. I try and get him off his butt to do something towards getting out of a rut and he just sits there and rather pretends it is not real..and when I tell him it wont go away he grits his teeth and scoffs going “ugh…I KNOW SARAH…shut up..” then he has this tendency to point the finger at me about being a messy person or something so I don’t have a halo around my head in that argument. Well, he had a warrant out cause of missed tests, turned himself in, went in front of a judge in a orange jumpsuit and shackles trying to reason and tell the judge he didn’t have a phone to contact nor money to do the tests, offered to be on a more frequent color rather than the 2 weeks jail time. Judge told him “well, couldnt you have used a pay phone, or mail a letter to your probation officer” he pauses five seconds and goes “well, I guess” then the judge says ” There is no legitamate reason why you failed to contact your PO for over…4 months.. So I am going to give you the 15 days cause I don’t think you would learn otherwise.” His mom was crying, was it bad that I was smiling???? I was mad, and equally like ” yeah, thats what you get for being stubborn ‘have it your way’ ” Anyway, when he gets out, if you were me, would you welcome him with open arms and a present (his Bday is Vday) or be pissed off….what would you do?

  118. I know this is long but if you’re a reg, TC or professional, please consider reading this even if you don’t want to respond. I honestly don’t know what to do with myself. Many regs here know that I state that I am a qualified mental health practitioner. That is true – I would never lie about a qualification I do not have or pretend to be somebody I am not.

    I do not currently work in mental health because of a traumatic even 12 months ago. I was set-up by an angry ex-partner when I found out he was having an affair and threatened to tell his ‘other woman’.

    In order to stop me, he got me sectioned. Very easy for him to do as he was a police sergeant. It took one call and I was dragged off for no reason. He told them I was about to commit suicide. I was not. He just wanted me out of the way to buy himself time to protect himself.

    I was treated ok by the police, but horrendously by hospital staff including members of the crisis team and ward staff. My level of distress grew tenfold every day because they kept tricking me over and over, saying I only needed to stay one night then I could go, Three days later they were still holding me. I was crying and begging to be freed but they told me I could not go. The section had been lifted before I even got to hospital for assessment (yes, really!). They had no holding powers on me and they kept telling me I was there voluntarily. I was not. To this day in my notes it says I was there on a voluntary basis yet I tried everything to try to get out.

    They had told me I was not able to see a psychiatrist for another 12 days as they only visited the ward every 2 weeks. Being a mental health practitioner, I knew this was rubbish and knew my legal rights and so I called a solicitor. She visited the ward twice and told the staff they were holding me illegally. She told them they must either let me go or section me. On both occasions, the staff told her they would call a psychiatrist and get them to assess me that same day with a view to allowing me to go home, The solicitor would leave the ward, and the staff would NOT call a psychiatrist to come and talk to me, In fact they did nothing but lie and abuse me. I did not eat one single thing for five days and had less than two tiny cups of water each day. In fact it was only after I left that I realised that at no point did they offer me food. I was exhausted, weak, angry and actually began to feel genuinely suicidal over the captivity and deceit. I looked for ways to end my life and found none. I could not believe what was happening to me – as if finding out the man I’d been with for two years had been cheating the whole time, not ON me with WITH ME. I was his ‘other woman’ but neither his partner nor myself had any inkling. He lived a double life that whole time and now I was having to face this trauma which went against EVERYTHING I’d been taught at university and every instict I had.

    After several days, I actually escaped from the psychiatric ward. I cannot tell you how because I do not want to give vulnerable people who NEED to be in hospital ideas on how to get out, but escape I did, and I jumped on the first bus I saw and fled to a train station and got many miles away. I hid there for two weeks, staying each night in a different hotel, paying for everything with cash so I could not be traced via bank statements.

    On three occasions I was returning to the hotels for the night after a day quite literally on the run and found police cars parked outside. I ran and hid until they left, convinced they had tracked me down and were waiting to transport me back to Hell behind locked doors.

    Eventually I returned home. The police turned up several minutes after I returned. It was a dumb cop probably too delirious from doughnut munching to care about his job. He found me eventually, hiding in my wardrobe. He didn’t even know the circumstances or that I was supposed to be in hospital. In fact he knew nothing except one of the neighbours had called the police after seeing me return. The police had apparently asked the neighbours to call 999 if any of them saw me, and one of them had. He didn’t know why he’d been sent. Somehow I managed to blag my way out of it and he left, clueless.

    Since then, I have had the biggest hatred for mental health services like you wouldn’t believe. My anger boils constantly because they have taken away my career – I can no longer work with other MH professionals because I trust NONE. My answers here on Yahoo Answers are my only way of exercising what I have learnt and my urge to help and advise others is as strong as it ever was.

    I feel traumatised by my experience. I will never and can never work with mental health services again, either as a patient or professional. My instinct to keep every tiny aspect of my life incredibly private is so strong that I barely talk to anybody now.

    What do I do? Please don’t suggest counse
    Sorry – counselling or anything to do with mental health. I am scared, angry and lost.
    DD, I’ll try to answer with not many characters!

    In the UK a psychiatrist MUST assess patient before discharge even if they are there voluntarily. Nobody can just walk out at any time. Legally if a vol. patient asks to leave, they need to call a psych during the day and ask them to come and eval with a view to discharge. Staff said they would call one, but then refused to do so. The solicitor would have been breaking the law trying to get me out without an eval.

    The unit was locked & staff on the door 24/7. I could not just walk out. Bars on windows, that kind of thing.

    I would have refused food regardless. I had not taken anything prior to admission & they do blood tests to check this. No meds/drugs/alcohol in system. ‘Inmates’ flocked to kitchen area at mealtimes but I was never called for a meal or told I had to eat. Nobody offered to bring toast to my room, for example. I refused to eat/sit with patients as I would be seen to be complying with their abuse & I was not a patient a
    I was not a patient and did not want a reputation of being amongst the others patients (I would not socialise in case of of them knew me!)

    Cannot go back and ‘get records’. Here you have to apply to see medical records and they only give you the very basic stuff that they don’t mind you reading. No way would info in there from that lock up be released to me.

    After I left I was hiding because I had escaped from a locked psychiatric ward. The police kept calling my mobile and leaving messages asking me to go back or meet them anywhere I wanted. I was on ‘red alert’ – what the cops call ‘high risk missing’ partly due to the state I was in when I left and partly due to absconding. It means police were out looking for me and could 136 me in the street and take me back if they found me (sectioning in a public place). I was not scared by the cop/ex. I knew he wouldn’t hurt me – we are not talking domestic violence. It’s abuse of power but he never ever physically hurt me in any way.
    DD, I’ll try to answer with not many characters!

    In the UK a psychiatrist MUST assess patient before discharge even if they are there voluntarily. Nobody can just walk out at any time. Legally if a vol. patient asks to leave, they need to call a psych during the day and ask them to come and eval with a view to discharge. Staff said they would call one, but then refused to do so. The solicitor would have been breaking the law trying to get me out without an eval.

    The unit was locked & staff on the door 24/7. I could not just walk out. Bars on windows, that kind of thing.

    I would have refused food regardless. I had not taken anything prior to admission & they do blood tests to check this. No meds/drugs/alcohol in system. ‘Inmates’ flocked to kitchen area at mealtimes but I was never called for a meal or told I had to eat. Nobody offered to bring toast to my room, for example. I refused to eat/sit with patients as I would be seen to be complying with their abuse & I was not a patient a

  119. I met a girl on a matchmaking service as I could use a diversion for my time while overseas as a deployed soldier in Iraq. She and I spoke for six months online before I was able to come home and finally meet her. We talked about everything- including past relationships. She mentioned how she had lived with an older guy for three years when she turned 18, but that she broke it off because she thought he had cheated on her, he didn’t treat her well, and he wasn’t willing to settle down and marry her. Once we met, she and I fell in love and everything was great for the first several months of our relationship- I even moved in with her after leaving the Army.

    She introduced me to many of her friends, one of them a guy who we will call Rick. Rick was very nice to me, always buying me drinks, and he even offered me a job if I wanted it as I had just left the service. My GF had started a restaurant, and Rick’s contracting company did the majority of the work on the building because she had asked him to do it. Rick even had an office upstairs in the building for his contracting company- right next to my GF’s. When my GFs restaurant opened its doors, my GF hired Rick’s sister to be his bookkeeper- and I was also introduced by my GF to Rick’s entire family when they came in for dinner (which was fairly often). Rick helped bartend for the opening night of the restaurant. My GF was best friends with Rick’s brother’s wife, and my GF would always run to Rick when there were problems with the restaurant. There were several times when I found them upstairs together- alone, talking about things with the door closed. I had my suspicions, so I asked my GF how she got to know Rick- and she said he was just a friend she had known through her best friend (the one who was married to Rick’s brother).

    It wasn’t until we had been actually dating for six months (but talking for over a year) that I discovered the truth about my GF and Rick, just by casual conversation when someone told me he had given her a cheap rate on the construction for the restaurant because they had dated in the past. As I’m sure you know by now, Rick was the guy my GF had lived with for three years. I confronted her about it, and her response was that yes, they had lived together and dated, but that things between them were over. I told her I didn’t want her to talk to him anymore- but it was an impossible request. His sister worked for her, he had a contract for the office upstairs (so he would almost be guaranteed to see her every day for the next two years) and her best friend was married to his brother, so it would be hard for her to see her best friend without occasionally seeing him as well.

    I started snooping around to satisfy my curiosity. Even though it had been a couple years since they dated, she still had BOXES of photos of them together on beaches in Mexico and Jamaica- a place she and I were planning to go. She had an “I Love You” video she made for him still on her computer. There were no photos of any other person she dated- just pictures of those two together. When I confronted her about this, she did throw the pictures away, but only after I told her about them.

    My GF reassured me that there was nothing going on, and I believed her. Rick told me the same thing when he found out I knew. I don’t think she wants to date him, but I think that for whatever reason she likes having him around. It has been five months since I learned of this, and I still can’t get over it- how inconsiderate she was to put me in this situation, how she deceived me by lying about it/not telling me about it (which I think is a HUGE deal), and how I never would have moved in with her if I had known the truth beforehand.

    Am I crazy to think that most people would want to leave their past behind instead of seeing it walk through the door everyday?

    I care about this girl, but this has been tearing me apart for five months and I don’t know how to get over it. I feel like if I had known about it sooner, I could’ve gotten over it- but the fact that she lied about it for so many months makes me not trust her. And here’s the kicker- before all this came out, she told me when she was younger she had an abortion- from someone else. She could tell me that (which I think is a MUCH bigger secret) but she didn’t want to tell me about Rick- doesn’t that sound fishy? I find myself looking for excuses to make her feel bad about dating him and lying about it- which I know is never a good sign.

    Any advice is welcome.

    Thanks.
    Now that I know this guy- and I’ve learned even more about his scumbaggery since first meeting him- it makes me wonder what kind of taste my GF had in men before meeting me…. It makes me feel like I could do better…especially since now I wonder what else she’s hiding from me (because I don’t feel like I can really trust her).

  120. Alright so i met my bf cameron in september and as cheesy as it sounds, i fell in love with him instantly. I’ve had a lot of short relationships and we lasted 7 months. the first 5 were heaven/perfect/amazing…you name it. we were perfect and i’ve never been so happy. he told me he loved me, and i told him i loved him too. i’ve said it to one person before but later realized that i was very naive at that time, so i dont really count it any more. i meant it with cameron though. i felt completely content and for the first time in my life, didnt even LOOK at other guys! that’s never happened before with me.

    but like i said, it was perfect for the first five months. we’ve been together 7. we started having problems when he started not being able to make time for me. he also got a new job on top of it, although it started before he was hired. i was pretty understanding and didnt even say anything for a while. he has school and work and those need to be a priority. but it wasnt just that he didnt have a lot of time any more…he started breaking promises and just being a downright douche. i ended up telling him i wanted to break up, and we talked it out to the point where i agreed to a break until summer when maybe we could try things again.

    so we go on a break, but meanwhile my car was broken. cameron is kind of a mechanic so he had told me he would fix it since i dont have a lot of money. but now that we were broken up, it would have been too weird. this guy colton i know a little offered to fix it for free and i wasnt about to turn him down. we hadnt really hung out before but while we were hanging out, fixing my car and stuff, we actually got to be really good friends. he told me he had feelings for me, but i explained that i still loved cameron and although i was technically single, i wasnt interested in dating anybody.

    now me and cameron are back together and working things out. he has changed quite a bit and i SHOULD be completely happy. but for some reason i’m not. i dont know what happened, but i’m almost indifferent now when it comes to cameron. i dont feel anything at all when i kiss him and i feel nothing when we say i love you to each other. at first i though it was because of colton, that maybe i DO have feelings for him. but the more i thought about it, i could tell that wasnt it. i just feel like being single or something, but that doesnt seem like enough of a reason. i was HEAD OVER FRIGGIN HEELS for cameron. and when we broke up all i could think about was being with him again. but now that we are back together i just feel bored and emotionless. there’s no spark any more and i dont know why. i was also really attracted to him physically before and now that’s gone too. his sense of humor cracked me up before and now he just irritates me. i cant even figure out what i saw in him before! what the heck happened?! i’ve cared way less about guys before and not been able to let go and move on. now with cameron who i genuinely loved and wanted to be with, those feelings that were so strong just disappeared. how though? i just dont understand what happened! i feel guilty still leading him on thinking things are fine, and i want to break up again honestly. i know he’ll just think it’s for colton though and it’s not. why is this happening and what do i do?! please help me :/

  121. Step daughter is 23 with a kid. She graduated college 18 mos ago. She had a baby, has never worked a day in her life. My husband has been paying for everything. He is now regretting it. It is debilitating her. She lives with the belief that she does not have to work and she can use anyone anyway she wants. My husband is likely going to be laid off. It dawned on me today that he basically treated her like his wife (without the spousal duties). He has 3 kids. He bought her a brand new car, a 1000 dollar great dane, designer everything, a condo, top notch furniture. all she has to do is well – nothing. He pays Cobra Insurance for her because she is a grown up and the insurance lapsed.

    She has been fighting custody over the baby with the father, but really all they (the father of the baby) want is standard visitation. She lives in another state and we have asked her to come home but she won’t because of one reason or another (including the father of the baby won’t allow it). We told her she could come live here, but who would want to leave a spacious condo with cherry hardwood floors to live in a crowded house, right? We offered that we could watch the baby while she works if she moves down here. She said no, she was going to go to graduate school.

    She wants the father of the baby not to have any rights whatsoever, so she wants about $10,000 to pay for a lawyer. My husband said he is no longer going to pay her way and that he agrees that he has been allowing her to live in a fantasy world and he wants to stop doing this.

    She was just hired for a job for $15 an hour and full benefits, he would have been willing to continue making house payments to help her out until she could get on her feet, but she turned down the job because she felt that daycare would be traumatic on the 10 month old baby. Then she called back and said she just bought a GPS navigation system for 200 bucks and could dad please put money in her account! I was floored. I have been in the situation of having a child alone and I never in my wildest dreams would have thought to have bought a “luxury” item, especially when it was not needed.

    I am also worried because she is so set on being able to give her infant daughter psychotic meds because she thinks that the child may need it in the future and does not want the father of this infant to have any say so. I just have this feeling like my husband is going behind my back and going to give her money the minute she starts crying. She refuses to accept any responsibility. She won’t get a job. She makes excuses, she is manipulative and she knows exactly what to say to get money from her dad. He doesn’t have a backbone where she’s concerned. When he tells her to do something, he says it in a manner that sounds more like he is afraid to get through to her she cannot carry on like this. He is afraid of losing her.

    She honestly believes that the salary my husband makes is her salary. She acts as though she has the same rights as a spouse. My husband and I have talked but I am having serious doubts that he will follow through.

    She calls him an a-hole and then turns around and talks about him dying and tells him that since he married me, if affects her inheritance. They sat at Thanksgiving Dinner and told their dad that he needed to go die basically. But he does not hear what his kids tell him or basically takes it as a joke. My kids have never told me to go die (maybe go to hell, but not die). Then she started in that the dishes that were given to him in his first wife’s marriage (she deceased) and that she wants them and is entitled to them. He bought many of the pieces to make it a complete set. We would likely have given them to her later, but she feels some direct and immediate entitlement to them.

    So today I heard her talking about my five year and making accusations that were not true and I just yelled at my husband who was ever so nicely telling her she was not being appropriate, I told her to take care of herself and her child and quit manipulating her father. He got mad at me because she hung up on him. I told him I did not care to hear anymore because all she does is talk. I am thinking I should get a job albeit it would be considerably less than what he could make, but I may end up having to leave because I am really having a hard time thinking I could live with this. I had not realized he is basically married to this child, who thinks she has entitlement.

    I have been through a lot of sad times, I have been through rough times. My parents were well off and did not offer me a “bail out” I went through college nursing a child and working. I did not get ammenities like a PC to type my papers I had to drive over an hour to get to a computer and usually had to stay up 3-4 days at a time during finals weeks. I don’t desire more money or “things” for myself. I can take care of myself. It’s the attitude of this girl and the way she treats her father that makes me infu

  122. This is imporatant to me, please read :S

    my fiancee is such a stubborn guy, lovely, nice, devoted…but stubborn like…wow. He had a DWI and crashed his car like 3 years ago. Since then, he got a job, lost a job (cause it was a disreputable work place) and he has gone to court, which bumped DOWN his color for drug testing to once a month, instead of twice. If cooperative, he goes on unsupervised probation march 31. Well, he lost his job. He wouldnt call his PO nor call to see if his color was up. Everytime I asked him to call to see he would say “damnit, I know sarah! quit hounding me, I will do it. Quit pushing me, I hate that ” and he never does, the more I ask, the more pissed off he gets at me. I asked him to use my aunts phone and he was like “No, cause then they will never shut up” or he says” you know we can’t afford it, its 100$ at the hospital to get a drug test”. I try and get him off his butt to do something towards getting out of a rut and he just sits there and rather pretends it is not real..and when I tell him it wont go away he grits his teeth and scoffs going “ugh…I KNOW SARAH…shut up..” then he has this tendency to point the finger at me about being a messy person or something so I don’t have a halo around my head in that argument. Well, he had a warrant out cause of missed tests, turned himself in, went in front of a judge in a orange jumpsuit and shackles trying to reason and tell the judge he didn’t have a phone to contact nor money to do the tests, offered to be on a more frequent color rather than the 2 weeks jail time. Judge told him “well, couldnt you have used a pay phone, or mail a letter to your probation officer” he pauses five seconds and goes “well, I guess” then the judge says ” There is no legitamate reason why you failed to contact your PO for over…4 months.. So I am going to give you the 15 days cause I don’t think you would learn otherwise.” His mom was crying, was it bad that I was smiling???? I was mad, and equally like ” yeah, thats what you get for being stubborn ‘have it your way’ ” Anyway, when he gets out, if you were me, would you welcome him with open arms and a present (his Bday is Vday) or be pissed off….what would you do?

  123. I did ask a similar question but it was only for the last 2-3 paragraphs and I think that people thought that it was the begining, well heres the whole thing at the moment. Lastly I know that to older people it may not apeal, but this is a story for teens etc, so that may be the reason why. I know my grammar isn’t perfect and I understand that.

    Preface

    My name is Chezney Wilson. I’m not some famous celebrity chased by the paparazzi that you see tend to always see nowadays. I’m not even some random wannabe that tags along with the largest crowds just to be noticed and appreciated. I don’t want to be any of those people. I just want to be a normal and regular guy, that tries to help others as much as he can. Who does his best to try and make the world just that little better. Well I thought that I was just a normal and regular guy, but as it turned out, there was more to me then even I knew.

    Chapter One

    A New Start

    Being a lonely child and having your parents split up is incredibly hard. First of all, your most likely going to be confused, hurt and scared as you have no idea for if it is your fathers fault, your mothers or maybe even yours. That’s immediately how I felt when my parents got divorced, and these were my exact feelings on the twenty sixth of may, two thousand and ten, five days before my eighteenth birthday, when I found myself sitting beside my Dad, Harry Wilson, in the front passenger seat of his shiny new black Porsche. My Dad is kind of rich; he had a big job in a hospital. Actually he was known as the best doctor in all Seattle which I think that this was the problem, that my Mom, didn’t think that my Dad spent enough time at home. However now that we had left Seattle; due to both his and my Mom’s, final decision. My Dad has been offered a new job as the chief doctor in Traverse City, Michigan. I don’t really pay any attention to the fact that my Dad earns a great deal of money each year, as cash isn’t really everything, its really all about what you want to do in life. That is why in the backseat, my bass guitar is safely lieing down on a few fully packed suitcases. Music is just one of the subjects that I fully enjoy, to me life without music is simply unbearable, I play guitar and sometimes only when I’m alone, I tend to sing a little. When school is involved, I’m not exactly the cleverest in my classes, I guess you can say that I’m an average B plus student. I put a lot of effort into my education as its important and a few good grades, can make nice decorations on the kitchen refrigerator.
    After a another slow two and a half hour drive, we soon started to arrive at the city’s entrance. Feeling extremely bored due to the lack of activity, I gazed into the small side view mirror and took a good look at my appearance, ready for when we finally got out of the car. As I swept my long and dark fringe away from my right eye, my hard, piercing and still a little upset, blue eye slowly blinked back in my direction. Apart from the clear signs of lack of sleep that had started to creep around the bottom of both of my eyes, they seemed to both looked perfectly fine.
    “That’s what you need, plenty of sleep,” remarked my Dad suddenly, still keeping his eyes on the busy road in front of us as we slowly came to a short bend. This remark sounded strange because apart from the quick, ‘Are you ready?’ he had asked before we had left, this was the first thing that he had said throughout the whole trip.
    “Maybe,” I muttered, not taking any notice of what he had just said. As I looked away from the side view mirror, I managed to catch a small glimpse of the city’s tall welcome sign, as it towered above us for just a quick a second. Feeling awkward, he slowly shuffled around in his seat and then took a quick sip of his strong smelling black coffee. Wanting to avoid this awkward moment, I looked out of my window and noticed that there were a lot of people and stores flashing by, then there had been around five minutes ago.
    As we gradually began to drive deeper into the city, it soon became to feel incredibly boring. For no apparent reason, I tightly closed my eyes and reopened them five minutes later, to find that we had just left the city and now started to pass the most beautiful looking beach that I had ever seen. As if the beach was somehow controlling me, I rolled down my window, allowing a gentle breeze to enter, so that I could see everything even more clearly. Everything about the beach looked amazing its golden sand as it glinted in the strong sun light and the clear deep blue water.
    “I knew that you would like this place,” Dad eagerly remarked, as he took a quick and hopeful look in my direction. Without answering, I knew inside that he was right, this place was extreme. “Kind of beautiful isn’t it?” he asked, as we stopped at a set of lights, to let a group of laughing teens, carrying surf boards, cross the road. Giving the beach one last look, I turned to look at Dad, as I

  124. Hi I’m a 31 year old stay at home Mom with my adorable 13 month old daughter. I’ve been with my husband 5 years and I want to make our marriage work.We really need counseling to fix this and for us to both be happy and have both our needs met. I’m having a hard time getting my point thru to him. He just thinks he’s right and I’m wrong. He doesn’t believe a relationship needs constant work and it needs to be treated with the utmost care or it falls apart. He just thinks it is what it is and we don’t need professional help. I love him dearly but I’m having a hard time seeing us for many more years together unless theres a change. It’s actually pretty little work on his part. So this is my last resort, I’m going to quickly write down the basic problems and I’m so confused at this point, I’m asking for validation for my feelings. If any of u were in my shoes would u feel the same way? And feel free to tell me I’m wrong, whatever needs done to save our family I’ll do it but to live with quiet anger and resentment is not healthy.

    There’s three main issues. One is He works 60 to 70 hours a week and plays hockey 3 to 4 times a week. So I don’t really see him that much and when I do he’s worn out and tired or hungry or just want’s to relax. I said once maybe you could not go to hockey tonight and he took that as me taking him away from his passion.Thats so far from the truth, I would never want or ask him to quit. Thats a major problem with us in general. he constantly misunderstands me and it turns into a fight really fast.and part of me thinks if he knew me at all he wouldn’t misunderstand me so much. How can me wanting him to spend time with me turn into what I don’t even know because we have never ever talked thru and resolved a conflict. When we fight I feel like my big strong man turns into a child! Theres insults and back and forth and then he gets really vicious with his words and goes too far and hurts me. I end up with a stabbing pain in my heart that his little sentence that ended the fight will eventually end our marriage. i walk away, we stop fighting, it’s never cleared up or resolved because I guess we don’t know how. ( Hence why we need counseling) But if I were to go tell him that right now THAT would turn into a fight of why am I trying to ruin his day. The way he misunderstands me hurts as much as his deep comments. Because theres no reason for it, I’m so good to him. I’m always considerate of him, always do you want something dear you need something dear?What can I do for you? I would love if he returned a quarter of how I treat him. I def shown him by example.

    He’s a great provider and very generous with me, because he does make all the money and he works hard for us. I do appeciate that sooo much of course I do. That allows me to raise our child.

    The Hockey I think shouldn’t be more than 2 days a week.What marriage is healthy when the husband works 5 days until evening then plays up to four days. Any more than 2 days is just neglect. Neglect to our home and us and our child. but again he doesn’t see it that way.

    I don’t understand. When I used to work I couldn’t wait to get home to see him, I wouldn’t actually make plans with a friend until I found out what he was doing first. But he’s the opposite he makes plans for himself and sometimes us then tells me about it. It infurriates me that he doesn’t check with me. He doesn’t know the reason why he has to tell me.

    I do all the cooking and cleaning and housework and In five years he’s never done a load of launry or picked his clothes up or cleaned a dish or watched our daughter for more than an hour. And Ok there’s the argument that that’s my job and he does his job but I said to him my job is 24/7. I never get a break. Can u offer to watch our daughter for a couple hours Once? Or offer to change her or bathe her or play with her. He loves her so much I know he does really so why do I have to force him to do these things. And when he does do them because I’ve made him he acts helpless and he can’t handle it and saying oh she wants her Mommy she needs you, oh my back hurts take her. And he want’s more kids! If the father works really hard doesn’t he still owe a minimum amount of just bonding with his kid? I feel like our relationship has morphed into a 50’s the woman does this and the Man does this. I feel like a single Mom most days. We need help, what can I do? what can I say to get him to understand?

  125. This is imporatant to me, please read :S

    my fiancee is such a stubborn guy, lovely, nice, devoted…but stubborn like…wow. He had a DWI and crashed his car like 3 years ago. Since then, he got a job, lost a job (cause it was a disreputable work place) and he has gone to court, which bumped DOWN his color for drug testing to once a month, instead of twice. If cooperative, he goes on unsupervised probation march 31. Well, he lost his job. He wouldnt call his PO nor call to see if his color was up. Everytime I asked him to call to see he would say “damnit, I know sarah! quit hounding me, I will do it. Quit pushing me, I hate that ” and he never does, the more I ask, the more pissed off he gets at me. I asked him to use my aunts phone and he was like “No, cause then they will never shut up” or he says” you know we can’t afford it, its 100$ at the hospital to get a drug test”. I try and get him off his butt to do something towards getting out of a rut and he just sits there and rather pretends it is not real..and when I tell him it wont go away he grits his teeth and scoffs going “ugh…I KNOW SARAH…shut up..” then he has this tendency to point the finger at me about being a messy person or something so I don’t have a halo around my head in that argument. Well, he had a warrant out cause of missed tests, turned himself in, went in front of a judge in a orange jumpsuit and shackles trying to reason and tell the judge he didn’t have a phone to contact nor money to do the tests, offered to be on a more frequent color rather than the 2 weeks jail time. Judge told him “well, couldnt you have used a pay phone, or mail a letter to your probation officer” he pauses five seconds and goes “well, I guess” then the judge says ” There is no legitamate reason why you failed to contact your PO for over…4 months.. So I am going to give you the 15 days cause I don’t think you would learn otherwise.” His mom was crying, was it bad that I was smiling???? I was mad, and equally like ” yeah, thats what you get for being stubborn ‘have it your way’ ” Anyway, when he gets out, if you were me, would you welcome him with open arms and a present (his Bday is Vday) or be pissed off….what would you do?

  126. Hi I’m a 31 year old stay at home Mom with my adorable 13 month old daughter. I’ve been with my husband 5 years and I want to make our marriage work.We really need counseling to fix this and for us to both be happy and have both our needs met. I’m having a hard time getting my point thru to him. He just thinks he’s right and I’m wrong. He doesn’t believe a relationship needs constant work and it needs to be treated with the utmost care or it falls apart. He just thinks it is what it is and we don’t need professional help. I love him dearly but I’m having a hard time seeing us for many more years together unless theres a change. It’s actually pretty little work on his part. So this is my last resort, I’m going to quickly write down the basic problems and I’m so confused at this point, I’m asking for validation for my feelings. If any of u were in my shoes would u feel the same way? And feel free to tell me I’m wrong, whatever needs done to save our family I’ll do it but to live with quiet anger and resentment is not healthy.

    There’s three main issues. One is He works 60 to 70 hours a week and plays hockey 3 to 4 times a week. So I don’t really see him that much and when I do he’s worn out and tired or hungry or just want’s to relax. I said once maybe you could not go to hockey tonight and he took that as me taking him away from his passion.Thats so far from the truth, I would never want or ask him to quit. Thats a major problem with us in general. he constantly misunderstands me and it turns into a fight really fast.and part of me thinks if he knew me at all he wouldn’t misunderstand me so much. How can me wanting him to spend time with me turn into what I don’t even know because we have never ever talked thru and resolved a conflict. When we fight I feel like my big strong man turns into a child! Theres insults and back and forth and then he gets really vicious with his words and goes too far and hurts me. I end up with a stabbing pain in my heart that his little sentence that ended the fight will eventually end our marriage. i walk away, we stop fighting, it’s never cleared up or resolved because I guess we don’t know how. ( Hence why we need counseling) But if I were to go tell him that right now THAT would turn into a fight of why am I trying to ruin his day. The way he misunderstands me hurts as much as his deep comments. Because theres no reason for it, I’m so good to him. I’m always considerate of him, always do you want something dear you need something dear?What can I do for you? I would love if he returned a quarter of how I treat him. I def shown him by example.

    He’s a great provider and very generous with me, because he does make all the money and he works hard for us. I do appeciate that sooo much of course I do. That allows me to raise our child.

    The Hockey I think shouldn’t be more than 2 days a week.What marriage is healthy when the husband works 5 days until evening then plays up to four days. Any more than 2 days is just neglect. Neglect to our home and us and our child. but again he doesn’t see it that way.

    I don’t understand. When I used to work I couldn’t wait to get home to see him, I wouldn’t actually make plans with a friend until I found out what he was doing first. But he’s the opposite he makes plans for himself and sometimes us then tells me about it. It infurriates me that he doesn’t check with me. He doesn’t know the reason why he has to tell me.

    I do all the cooking and cleaning and housework and In five years he’s never done a load of launry or picked his clothes up or cleaned a dish or watched our daughter for more than an hour. And Ok there’s the argument that that’s my job and he does his job but I said to him my job is 24/7. I never get a break. Can u offer to watch our daughter for a couple hours Once? Or offer to change her or bathe her or play with her. He loves her so much I know he does really so why do I have to force him to do these things. And when he does do them because I’ve made him he acts helpless and he can’t handle it and saying oh she wants her Mommy she needs you, oh my back hurts take her. And he want’s more kids! If the father works really hard doesn’t he still owe a minimum amount of just bonding with his kid? I feel like our relationship has morphed into a 50’s the woman does this and the Man does this. I feel like a single Mom most days. We need help, what can I do? what can I say to get him to understand?

  127. i am nearly blinde, not completely but nearly. i just went to my gonna be high school to take the placement testing with all the other eighth graders. sinc e i am nearly blinde, my braille teacher signed me up to get a large print test booklit, no big deal right? well they all turned it into something bigger than it was, very insulting. so i had to go and tell some lady that i needed a large print test booklit, so i said “i’ve been signed up to use a large print test booklit”
    the lady goes. “you mean you need special accomidations.”
    “no, just a large print test booklit.”
    “no that would be considered special accomidations, come with me” she made me stand off to the side, with all the kids in special ed, and yes, i am in special ed, but TO READ BRAILLE not becuase i can’t comprehend the stuff they through at me, i am in all the gifted classes, and i’m planning on being advanced placement, in everything in high school.
    so i am standing their with all the support kids, and i ask “am i going to be in the room i was assigned too?” because that was really important to me, not to be seperated from my friend, who i was getting a ride home with, (we have the same last initial, so we were in the same room)
    and she said “we’ll see”
    she looked for my name on her list, and couldn’t find it, i told her “thats because i am not supposed to be here, i am supposed to be in s229.”
    she goes in a high pitched talking slow, almost parent ease voice “don’t worry, we’ll get you tested, just sit down iin here.”
    “but i am not supposed to be in here.”
    “yeah, i know, we’ll figure it out” same voice.
    then they would not let me fill out the forms myself, there was one wehre we were supposed to mark in all our grades this year in our classes, i told the lady that i get a’s in everything. and she was all “good job, you must be smart” then they asked if we were in excelerated classes, she almost filled in no, before i told her that i was in excelerated classes. they locked me in a room, with the lady, to mark the answers for me. that is what they do for the all blind kids, i told them over and over again, that i don’t need that, i can see. really i can. but nope, it was really offending, how they forced me to do this stuff. so i answer the first test, and the lady, makes me give her a high five, and she tells me “good job,” in the high pitched parent ease voice, and i give her a weak, please don’t talk to me in that tone, voice. this happened three more times with the three tests, and by this time, i was feeling very offended that they assumed that i was not smart enough to be in excelerated, and that i was in the room for other reasons, by the time i was in sixth grade, i was making accomadations for myself by myself, that they trained me to do in grade school, so all of this was really offending.
    then i finished, the science portion, and she said, “congradulations, your done, you can go home now.” i look at her like she’s the one who’s being treated meantly ill, and say, “no, i am staying for the writing portion” which is what you have to stay for to get into AP writing, which of coarse is very important to me, they just assumed i wasn’t going to take it, they didn’t even offer it to me. which is offending, but then the other lady, that made come in there at all, said to me, “you know, you don’t have to take it.” in the parent ease voice
    i say, “i know, but i want to be in A P English.” and she rolls her eyes at me and says, “if you want too.” in a ‘waisting your time’ kind of way.
    so i take this test and get out of their, and she asks me if i wanted to use the schools phone to call my mom, now i know, from talking to the special ed kids, (lots of them are friends of mine, out of coincidence) and they have hard families, lots of them don’t even have mothers, and i think she shouldn’t have said that, i nearly said, “no, i can’t call her, she’s dead.” but i didn’t because i don’t have the guts, so i walked out of there, feeling really angry that people would treat me like that, slump me with the support kids. my dad said i should have protested against taking the test, he said that might even cause me to get a lower test grade, my mom thinks that she will call some poeple and figure out who did it, so that she can get them in trouble for discrimination, lots of people do things like that to me, and usually, i can just move right past it, but this time,. its really burning. what do you think i should do? nothing rude please.
    i don’t have a 504, but i do have an iep, and they just call it special ed just the same, becuase my braille teacher works for a company run by special ed, and that doesn’t really help me with discrimination, or high school placement testing.
    I have all the things that you list, and i do know about my terrible spelling, S just one of those regular problems i have to work on, and it doesn’t help that i type faster than i should (about 80 wpm ranther than 50 wpm) and i have a really old keyboard, about as old as me, but thanks for reminding me, and being considerate, but in future, i read bad spelling better than anyone, because, i use it.

  128. Alright so i met my bf cameron in september and as cheesy as it sounds, i fell in love with him instantly. I’ve had a lot of short relationships and we lasted 7 months. the first 5 were heaven/perfect/amazing…you name it. we were perfect and i’ve never been so happy. he told me he loved me, and i told him i loved him too. i’ve said it to one person before but later realized that i was very naive at that time, so i dont really count it any more. i meant it with cameron though. i felt completely content and for the first time in my life, didnt even LOOK at other guys! that’s never happened before with me.

    but like i said, it was perfect for the first five months. we’ve been together 7. we started having problems when he started not being able to make time for me. he also got a new job on top of it, although it started before he was hired. i was pretty understanding and didnt even say anything for a while. he has school and work and those need to be a priority. but it wasnt just that he didnt have a lot of time any more…he started breaking promises and just being a downright douche. i ended up telling him i wanted to break up, and we talked it out to the point where i agreed to a break until summer when maybe we could try things again.

    so we go on a break, but meanwhile my car was broken. cameron is kind of a mechanic so he had told me he would fix it since i dont have a lot of money. but now that we were broken up, it would have been too weird. this guy colton i know a little offered to fix it for free and i wasnt about to turn him down. we hadnt really hung out before but while we were hanging out, fixing my car and stuff, we actually got to be really good friends. he told me he had feelings for me, but i explained that i still loved cameron and although i was technically single, i wasnt interested in dating anybody.

    now me and cameron are back together and working things out. he has changed quite a bit and i SHOULD be completely happy. but for some reason i’m not. i dont know what happened, but i’m almost indifferent now when it comes to cameron. i dont feel anything at all when i kiss him and i feel nothing when we say i love you to each other. at first i though it was because of colton, that maybe i DO have feelings for him. but the more i thought about it, i could tell that wasnt it. i just feel like being single or something, but that doesnt seem like enough of a reason. i was HEAD OVER FRIGGIN HEELS for cameron. and when we broke up all i could think about was being with him again. but now that we are back together i just feel bored and emotionless. there’s no spark any more and i dont know why. i was also really attracted to him physically before and now that’s gone too. his sense of humor cracked me up before and now he just irritates me. i cant even figure out what i saw in him before! what the heck happened?! i’ve cared way less about guys before and not been able to let go and move on. now with cameron who i genuinely loved and wanted to be with, those feelings that were so strong just disappeared. how though? i just dont understand what happened! i feel guilty still leading him on thinking things are fine, and i want to break up again honestly. i know he’ll just think it’s for colton though and it’s not. why is this happening and what do i do?! please help me :/

  129. I met a girl on a matchmaking service as I could use a diversion for my time while overseas as a deployed soldier in Iraq. She and I spoke for six months online before I was able to come home and finally meet her. We talked about everything- including past relationships. She mentioned how she had lived with an older guy for three years when she turned 18, but that she broke it off because she thought he had cheated on her, he didn’t treat her well, and he wasn’t willing to settle down and marry her. Once we met, she and I fell in love and everything was great for the first several months of our relationship- I even moved in with her after leaving the Army.

    She introduced me to many of her friends, one of them a guy who we will call Rick. Rick was very nice to me, always buying me drinks, and he even offered me a job if I wanted it as I had just left the service. My GF had started a restaurant, and Rick’s contracting company did the majority of the work on the building because she had asked him to do it. Rick even had an office upstairs in the building for his contracting company- right next to my GF’s. When my GFs restaurant opened its doors, my GF hired Rick’s sister to be his bookkeeper- and I was also introduced by my GF to Rick’s entire family when they came in for dinner (which was fairly often). Rick helped bartend for the opening night of the restaurant. My GF was best friends with Rick’s brother’s wife, and my GF would always run to Rick when there were problems with the restaurant. There were several times when I found them upstairs together- alone, talking about things with the door closed. I had my suspicions, so I asked my GF how she got to know Rick- and she said he was just a friend she had known through her best friend (the one who was married to Rick’s brother).

    It wasn’t until we had been actually dating for six months (but talking for over a year) that I discovered the truth about my GF and Rick, just by casual conversation when someone told me he had given her a cheap rate on the construction for the restaurant because they had dated in the past. As I’m sure you know by now, Rick was the guy my GF had lived with for three years. I confronted her about it, and her response was that yes, they had lived together and dated, but that things between them were over. I told her I didn’t want her to talk to him anymore- but it was an impossible request. His sister worked for her, he had a contract for the office upstairs (so he would almost be guaranteed to see her every day for the next two years) and her best friend was married to his brother, so it would be hard for her to see her best friend without occasionally seeing him as well.

    I started snooping around to satisfy my curiosity. Even though it had been a couple years since they dated, she still had BOXES of photos of them together on beaches in Mexico and Jamaica- a place she and I were planning to go. She had an “I Love You” video she made for him still on her computer. There were no photos of any other person she dated- just pictures of those two together. When I confronted her about this, she did throw the pictures away, but only after I told her about them.

    My GF reassured me that there was nothing going on, and I believed her. Rick told me the same thing when he found out I knew. I don’t think she wants to date him, but I think that for whatever reason she likes having him around. It has been five months since I learned of this, and I still can’t get over it- how inconsiderate she was to put me in this situation, how she deceived me by lying about it/not telling me about it

  130. This is imporatant to me, please read :S

    my fiancee is such a stubborn guy, lovely, nice, devoted…but stubborn like…wow. He had a DWI and crashed his car like 3 years ago. Since then, he got a job, lost a job (cause it was a disreputable work place) and he has gone to court, which bumped DOWN his color for drug testing to once a month, instead of twice. If cooperative, he goes on unsupervised probation march 31. Well, he lost his job. He wouldnt call his PO nor call to see if his color was up. Everytime I asked him to call to see he would say “damnit, I know sarah! quit hounding me, I will do it. Quit pushing me, I hate that ” and he never does, the more I ask, the more pissed off he gets at me. I asked him to use my aunts phone and he was like “No, cause then they will never shut up” or he says” you know we can’t afford it, its 100$ at the hospital to get a drug test”. I try and get him off his butt to do something towards getting out of a rut and he just sits there and rather pretends it is not real..and when I tell him it wont go away he grits his teeth and scoffs going “ugh…I KNOW SARAH…shut up..” then he has this tendency to point the finger at me about being a messy person or something so I don’t have a halo around my head in that argument. Well, he had a warrant out cause of missed tests, turned himself in, went in front of a judge in a orange jumpsuit and shackles trying to reason and tell the judge he didn’t have a phone to contact nor money to do the tests, offered to be on a more frequent color rather than the 2 weeks jail time. Judge told him “well, couldnt you have used a pay phone, or mail a letter to your probation officer” he pauses five seconds and goes “well, I guess” then the judge says ” There is no legitamate reason why you failed to contact your PO for over…4 months.. So I am going to give you the 15 days cause I don’t think you would learn otherwise.” His mom was crying, was it bad that I was smiling???? I was mad, and equally like ” yeah, thats what you get for being stubborn ‘have it your way’ ” Anyway, when he gets out, if you were me, would you welcome him with open arms and a present (his Bday is Vday) or be pissed off….what would you do?

  131. This is imporatant to me, please read :S

    my fiancee is such a stubborn guy, lovely, nice, devoted…but stubborn like…wow. He had a DWI and crashed his car like 3 years ago. Since then, he got a job, lost a job (cause it was a disreputable work place) and he has gone to court, which bumped DOWN his color for drug testing to once a month, instead of twice. If cooperative, he goes on unsupervised probation march 31. Well, he lost his job. He wouldnt call his PO nor call to see if his color was up. Everytime I asked him to call to see he would say “damnit, I know sarah! quit hounding me, I will do it. Quit pushing me, I hate that ” and he never does, the more I ask, the more pissed off he gets at me. I asked him to use my aunts phone and he was like “No, cause then they will never shut up” or he says” you know we can’t afford it, its 100$ at the hospital to get a drug test”. I try and get him off his butt to do something towards getting out of a rut and he just sits there and rather pretends it is not real..and when I tell him it wont go away he grits his teeth and scoffs going “ugh…I KNOW SARAH…shut up..” then he has this tendency to point the finger at me about being a messy person or something so I don’t have a halo around my head in that argument. Well, he had a warrant out cause of missed tests, turned himself in, went in front of a judge in a orange jumpsuit and shackles trying to reason and tell the judge he didn’t have a phone to contact nor money to do the tests, offered to be on a more frequent color rather than the 2 weeks jail time. Judge told him “well, couldnt you have used a pay phone, or mail a letter to your probation officer” he pauses five seconds and goes “well, I guess” then the judge says ” There is no legitamate reason why you failed to contact your PO for over…4 months.. So I am going to give you the 15 days cause I don’t think you would learn otherwise.” His mom was crying, was it bad that I was smiling???? I was mad, and equally like ” yeah, thats what you get for being stubborn ‘have it your way’ ” Anyway, when he gets out, if you were me, would you welcome him with open arms and a present (his Bday is Vday) or be pissed off….what would you do?

  132. Step daughter is 23 with a kid. She graduated college 18 mos ago. She had a baby, has never worked a day in her life. My husband has been paying for everything. He is now regretting it. It is debilitating her. She lives with the belief that she does not have to work and she can use anyone anyway she wants. My husband is likely going to be laid off. It dawned on me today that he basically treated her like his wife (without the spousal duties). He has 3 kids. He bought her a brand new car, a 1000 dollar great dane, designer everything, a condo, top notch furniture. all she has to do is well – nothing. He pays Cobra Insurance for her because she is a grown up and the insurance lapsed.

    She has been fighting custody over the baby with the father, but really all they (the father of the baby) want is standard visitation. She lives in another state and we have asked her to come home but she won’t because of one reason or another (including the father of the baby won’t allow it). We told her she could come live here, but who would want to leave a spacious condo with cherry hardwood floors to live in a crowded house, right? We offered that we could watch the baby while she works if she moves down here. She said no, she was going to go to graduate school.

    She wants the father of the baby not to have any rights whatsoever, so she wants about $10,000 to pay for a lawyer. My husband said he is no longer going to pay her way and that he agrees that he has been allowing her to live in a fantasy world and he wants to stop doing this.

    She was just hired for a job for $15 an hour and full benefits, he would have been willing to continue making house payments to help her out until she could get on her feet, but she turned down the job because she felt that daycare would be traumatic on the 10 month old baby. Then she called back and said she just bought a GPS navigation system for 200 bucks and could dad please put money in her account! I was floored. I have been in the situation of having a child alone and I never in my wildest dreams would have thought to have bought a “luxury” item, especially when it was not needed.

    I am also worried because she is so set on being able to give her infant daughter psychotic meds because she thinks that the child may need it in the future and does not want the father of this infant to have any say so. I just have this feeling like my husband is going behind my back and going to give her money the minute she starts crying. She refuses to accept any responsibility. She won’t get a job. She makes excuses, she is manipulative and she knows exactly what to say to get money from her dad. He doesn’t have a backbone where she’s concerned. When he tells her to do something, he says it in a manner that sounds more like he is afraid to get through to her she cannot carry on like this. He is afraid of losing her.

    She honestly believes that the salary my husband makes is her salary. She acts as though she has the same rights as a spouse. My husband and I have talked but I am having serious doubts that he will follow through.

    She calls him an a-hole and then turns around and talks about him dying and tells him that since he married me, if affects her inheritance. They sat at Thanksgiving Dinner and told their dad that he needed to go die basically. But he does not hear what his kids tell him or basically takes it as a joke. My kids have never told me to go die (maybe go to hell, but not die). Then she started in that the dishes that were given to him in his first wife’s marriage (she deceased) and that she wants them and is entitled to them. He bought many of the pieces to make it a complete set. We would likely have given them to her later, but she feels some direct and immediate entitlement to them.

    So today I heard her talking about my five year and making accusations that were not true and I just yelled at my husband who was ever so nicely telling her she was not being appropriate, I told her to take care of herself and her child and quit manipulating her father. He got mad at me because she hung up on him. I told him I did not care to hear anymore because all she does is talk. I am thinking I should get a job albeit it would be considerably less than what he could make, but I may end up having to leave because I am really having a hard time thinking I could live with this. I had not realized he is basically married to this child, who thinks she has entitlement.

    I have been through a lot of sad times, I have been through rough times. My parents were well off and did not offer me a “bail out” I went through college nursing a child and working. I did not get ammenities like a PC to type my papers I had to drive over an hour to get to a computer and usually had to stay up 3-4 days at a time during finals weeks. I don’t desire more money or “things” for myself. I can take care of myself. It’s the attitude of this girl and the way she treats her father that makes me infu

  133. Hi I’m a 31 year old stay at home Mom with my adorable 13 month old daughter. I’ve been with my husband 5 years and I want to make our marriage work.We really need counseling to fix this and for us to both be happy and have both our needs met. I’m having a hard time getting my point thru to him. He just thinks he’s right and I’m wrong. He doesn’t believe a relationship needs constant work and it needs to be treated with the utmost care or it falls apart. He just thinks it is what it is and we don’t need professional help. I love him dearly but I’m having a hard time seeing us for many more years together unless theres a change. It’s actually pretty little work on his part. So this is my last resort, I’m going to quickly write down the basic problems and I’m so confused at this point, I’m asking for validation for my feelings. If any of u were in my shoes would u feel the same way? And feel free to tell me I’m wrong, whatever needs done to save our family I’ll do it but to live with quiet anger and resentment is not healthy.

    There’s three main issues. One is He works 60 to 70 hours a week and plays hockey 3 to 4 times a week. So I don’t really see him that much and when I do he’s worn out and tired or hungry or just want’s to relax. I said once maybe you could not go to hockey tonight and he took that as me taking him away from his passion.Thats so far from the truth, I would never want or ask him to quit. Thats a major problem with us in general. he constantly misunderstands me and it turns into a fight really fast.and part of me thinks if he knew me at all he wouldn’t misunderstand me so much. How can me wanting him to spend time with me turn into what I don’t even know because we have never ever talked thru and resolved a conflict. When we fight I feel like my big strong man turns into a child! Theres insults and back and forth and then he gets really vicious with his words and goes too far and hurts me. I end up with a stabbing pain in my heart that his little sentence that ended the fight will eventually end our marriage. i walk away, we stop fighting, it’s never cleared up or resolved because I guess we don’t know how. ( Hence why we need counseling) But if I were to go tell him that right now THAT would turn into a fight of why am I trying to ruin his day. The way he misunderstands me hurts as much as his deep comments. Because theres no reason for it, I’m so good to him. I’m always considerate of him, always do you want something dear you need something dear?What can I do for you? I would love if he returned a quarter of how I treat him. I def shown him by example.

    He’s a great provider and very generous with me, because he does make all the money and he works hard for us. I do appeciate that sooo much of course I do. That allows me to raise our child.

    The Hockey I think shouldn’t be more than 2 days a week.What marriage is healthy when the husband works 5 days until evening then plays up to four days. Any more than 2 days is just neglect. Neglect to our home and us and our child. but again he doesn’t see it that way.

    I don’t understand. When I used to work I couldn’t wait to get home to see him, I wouldn’t actually make plans with a friend until I found out what he was doing first. But he’s the opposite he makes plans for himself and sometimes us then tells me about it. It infurriates me that he doesn’t check with me. He doesn’t know the reason why he has to tell me.

    I do all the cooking and cleaning and housework and In five years he’s never done a load of launry or picked his clothes up or cleaned a dish or watched our daughter for more than an hour. And Ok there’s the argument that that’s my job and he does his job but I said to him my job is 24/7. I never get a break. Can u offer to watch our daughter for a couple hours Once? Or offer to change her or bathe her or play with her. He loves her so much I know he does really so why do I have to force him to do these things. And when he does do them because I’ve made him he acts helpless and he can’t handle it and saying oh she wants her Mommy she needs you, oh my back hurts take her. And he want’s more kids! If the father works really hard doesn’t he still owe a minimum amount of just bonding with his kid? I feel like our relationship has morphed into a 50’s the woman does this and the Man does this. I feel like a single Mom most days. We need help, what can I do? what can I say to get him to understand?

  134. Alright so i met my bf cameron in september and as cheesy as it sounds, i fell in love with him instantly. I’ve had a lot of short relationships and we lasted 7 months. the first 5 were heaven/perfect/amazing…you name it. we were perfect and i’ve never been so happy. he told me he loved me, and i told him i loved him too. i’ve said it to one person before but later realized that i was very naive at that time, so i dont really count it any more. i meant it with cameron though. i felt completely content and for the first time in my life, didnt even LOOK at other guys! that’s never happened before with me.

    but like i said, it was perfect for the first five months. we’ve been together 7. we started having problems when he started not being able to make time for me. he also got a new job on top of it, although it started before he was hired. i was pretty understanding and didnt even say anything for a while. he has school and work and those need to be a priority. but it wasnt just that he didnt have a lot of time any more…he started breaking promises and just being a downright douche. i ended up telling him i wanted to break up, and we talked it out to the point where i agreed to a break until summer when maybe we could try things again.

    so we go on a break, but meanwhile my car was broken. cameron is kind of a mechanic so he had told me he would fix it since i dont have a lot of money. but now that we were broken up, it would have been too weird. this guy colton i know a little offered to fix it for free and i wasnt about to turn him down. we hadnt really hung out before but while we were hanging out, fixing my car and stuff, we actually got to be really good friends. he told me he had feelings for me, but i explained that i still loved cameron and although i was technically single, i wasnt interested in dating anybody.

    now me and cameron are back together and working things out. he has changed quite a bit and i SHOULD be completely happy. but for some reason i’m not. i dont know what happened, but i’m almost indifferent now when it comes to cameron. i dont feel anything at all when i kiss him and i feel nothing when we say i love you to each other. at first i though it was because of colton, that maybe i DO have feelings for him. but the more i thought about it, i could tell that wasnt it. i just feel like being single or something, but that doesnt seem like enough of a reason. i was HEAD OVER FRIGGIN HEELS for cameron. and when we broke up all i could think about was being with him again. but now that we are back together i just feel bored and emotionless. there’s no spark any more and i dont know why. i was also really attracted to him physically before and now that’s gone too. his sense of humor cracked me up before and now he just irritates me. i cant even figure out what i saw in him before! what the heck happened?! i’ve cared way less about guys before and not been able to let go and move on. now with cameron who i genuinely loved and wanted to be with, those feelings that were so strong just disappeared. how though? i just dont understand what happened! i feel guilty still leading him on thinking things are fine, and i want to break up again honestly. i know he’ll just think it’s for colton though and it’s not. why is this happening and what do i do?! please help me :/

  135. Hi I’m a 31 year old stay at home Mom with my adorable 13 month old daughter. I’ve been with my husband 5 years and I want to make our marriage work.We really need counseling to fix this and for us to both be happy and have both our needs met. I’m having a hard time getting my point thru to him. He just thinks he’s right and I’m wrong. He doesn’t believe a relationship needs constant work and it needs to be treated with the utmost care or it falls apart. He just thinks it is what it is and we don’t need professional help. I love him dearly but I’m having a hard time seeing us for many more years together unless theres a change. It’s actually pretty little work on his part. So this is my last resort, I’m going to quickly write down the basic problems and I’m so confused at this point, I’m asking for validation for my feelings. If any of u were in my shoes would u feel the same way? And feel free to tell me I’m wrong, whatever needs done to save our family I’ll do it but to live with quiet anger and resentment is not healthy.

    There’s three main issues. One is He works 60 to 70 hours a week and plays hockey 3 to 4 times a week. So I don’t really see him that much and when I do he’s worn out and tired or hungry or just want’s to relax. I said once maybe you could not go to hockey tonight and he took that as me taking him away from his passion.Thats so far from the truth, I would never want or ask him to quit. Thats a major problem with us in general. he constantly misunderstands me and it turns into a fight really fast.and part of me thinks if he knew me at all he wouldn’t misunderstand me so much. How can me wanting him to spend time with me turn into what I don’t even know because we have never ever talked thru and resolved a conflict. When we fight I feel like my big strong man turns into a child! Theres insults and back and forth and then he gets really vicious with his words and goes too far and hurts me. I end up with a stabbing pain in my heart that his little sentence that ended the fight will eventually end our marriage. i walk away, we stop fighting, it’s never cleared up or resolved because I guess we don’t know how. ( Hence why we need counseling) But if I were to go tell him that right now THAT would turn into a fight of why am I trying to ruin his day. The way he misunderstands me hurts as much as his deep comments. Because theres no reason for it, I’m so good to him. I’m always considerate of him, always do you want something dear you need something dear?What can I do for you? I would love if he returned a quarter of how I treat him. I def shown him by example.

    He’s a great provider and very generous with me, because he does make all the money and he works hard for us. I do appeciate that sooo much of course I do. That allows me to raise our child.

    The Hockey I think shouldn’t be more than 2 days a week.What marriage is healthy when the husband works 5 days until evening then plays up to four days. Any more than 2 days is just neglect. Neglect to our home and us and our child. but again he doesn’t see it that way.

    I don’t understand. When I used to work I couldn’t wait to get home to see him, I wouldn’t actually make plans with a friend until I found out what he was doing first. But he’s the opposite he makes plans for himself and sometimes us then tells me about it. It infurriates me that he doesn’t check with me. He doesn’t know the reason why he has to tell me.

    I do all the cooking and cleaning and housework and In five years he’s never done a load of launry or picked his clothes up or cleaned a dish or watched our daughter for more than an hour. And Ok there’s the argument that that’s my job and he does his job but I said to him my job is 24/7. I never get a break. Can u offer to watch our daughter for a couple hours Once? Or offer to change her or bathe her or play with her. He loves her so much I know he does really so why do I have to force him to do these things. And when he does do them because I’ve made him he acts helpless and he can’t handle it and saying oh she wants her Mommy she needs you, oh my back hurts take her. And he want’s more kids! If the father works really hard doesn’t he still owe a minimum amount of just bonding with his kid? I feel like our relationship has morphed into a 50’s the woman does this and the Man does this. I feel like a single Mom most days. We need help, what can I do? what can I say to get him to understand?

  136. Alright so i met my bf cameron in september and as cheesy as it sounds, i fell in love with him instantly. I’ve had a lot of short relationships and we lasted 7 months. the first 5 were heaven/perfect/amazing…you name it. we were perfect and i’ve never been so happy. he told me he loved me, and i told him i loved him too. i’ve said it to one person before but later realized that i was very naive at that time, so i dont really count it any more. i meant it with cameron though. i felt completely content and for the first time in my life, didnt even LOOK at other guys! that’s never happened before with me.

    but like i said, it was perfect for the first five months. we’ve been together 7. we started having problems when he started not being able to make time for me. he also got a new job on top of it, although it started before he was hired. i was pretty understanding and didnt even say anything for a while. he has school and work and those need to be a priority. but it wasnt just that he didnt have a lot of time any more…he started breaking promises and just being a downright douche. i ended up telling him i wanted to break up, and we talked it out to the point where i agreed to a break until summer when maybe we could try things again.

    so we go on a break, but meanwhile my car was broken. cameron is kind of a mechanic so he had told me he would fix it since i dont have a lot of money. but now that we were broken up, it would have been too weird. this guy colton i know a little offered to fix it for free and i wasnt about to turn him down. we hadnt really hung out before but while we were hanging out, fixing my car and stuff, we actually got to be really good friends. he told me he had feelings for me, but i explained that i still loved cameron and although i was technically single, i wasnt interested in dating anybody.

    now me and cameron are back together and working things out. he has changed quite a bit and i SHOULD be completely happy. but for some reason i’m not. i dont know what happened, but i’m almost indifferent now when it comes to cameron. i dont feel anything at all when i kiss him and i feel nothing when we say i love you to each other. at first i though it was because of colton, that maybe i DO have feelings for him. but the more i thought about it, i could tell that wasnt it. i just feel like being single or something, but that doesnt seem like enough of a reason. i was HEAD OVER FRIGGIN HEELS for cameron. and when we broke up all i could think about was being with him again. but now that we are back together i just feel bored and emotionless. there’s no spark any more and i dont know why. i was also really attracted to him physically before and now that’s gone too. his sense of humor cracked me up before and now he just irritates me. i cant even figure out what i saw in him before! what the heck happened?! i’ve cared way less about guys before and not been able to let go and move on. now with cameron who i genuinely loved and wanted to be with, those feelings that were so strong just disappeared. how though? i just dont understand what happened! i feel guilty still leading him on thinking things are fine, and i want to break up again honestly. i know he’ll just think it’s for colton though and it’s not. why is this happening and what do i do?! please help me :/

  137. Hi I’m a 31 year old stay at home Mom with my adorable 13 month old daughter. I’ve been with my husband 5 years and I want to make our marriage work.We really need counseling to fix this and for us to both be happy and have both our needs met. I’m having a hard time getting my point thru to him. He just thinks he’s right and I’m wrong. He doesn’t believe a relationship needs constant work and it needs to be treated with the utmost care or it falls apart. He just thinks it is what it is and we don’t need professional help. I love him dearly but I’m having a hard time seeing us for many more years together unless theres a change. It’s actually pretty little work on his part. So this is my last resort, I’m going to quickly write down the basic problems and I’m so confused at this point, I’m asking for validation for my feelings. If any of u were in my shoes would u feel the same way? And feel free to tell me I’m wrong, whatever needs done to save our family I’ll do it but to live with quiet anger and resentment is not healthy.

    There’s three main issues. One is He works 60 to 70 hours a week and plays hockey 3 to 4 times a week. So I don’t really see him that much and when I do he’s worn out and tired or hungry or just want’s to relax. I said once maybe you could not go to hockey tonight and he took that as me taking him away from his passion.Thats so far from the truth, I would never want or ask him to quit. Thats a major problem with us in general. he constantly misunderstands me and it turns into a fight really fast.and part of me thinks if he knew me at all he wouldn’t misunderstand me so much. How can me wanting him to spend time with me turn into what I don’t even know because we have never ever talked thru and resolved a conflict. When we fight I feel like my big strong man turns into a child! Theres insults and back and forth and then he gets really vicious with his words and goes too far and hurts me. I end up with a stabbing pain in my heart that his little sentence that ended the fight will eventually end our marriage. i walk away, we stop fighting, it’s never cleared up or resolved because I guess we don’t know how. ( Hence why we need counseling) But if I were to go tell him that right now THAT would turn into a fight of why am I trying to ruin his day. The way he misunderstands me hurts as much as his deep comments. Because theres no reason for it, I’m so good to him. I’m always considerate of him, always do you want something dear you need something dear?What can I do for you? I would love if he returned a quarter of how I treat him. I def shown him by example.

    He’s a great provider and very generous with me, because he does make all the money and he works hard for us. I do appeciate that sooo much of course I do. That allows me to raise our child.

    The Hockey I think shouldn’t be more than 2 days a week.What marriage is healthy when the husband works 5 days until evening then plays up to four days. Any more than 2 days is just neglect. Neglect to our home and us and our child. but again he doesn’t see it that way.

    I don’t understand. When I used to work I couldn’t wait to get home to see him, I wouldn’t actually make plans with a friend until I found out what he was doing first. But he’s the opposite he makes plans for himself and sometimes us then tells me about it. It infurriates me that he doesn’t check with me. He doesn’t know the reason why he has to tell me.

    I do all the cooking and cleaning and housework and In five years he’s never done a load of launry or picked his clothes up or cleaned a dish or watched our daughter for more than an hour. And Ok there’s the argument that that’s my job and he does his job but I said to him my job is 24/7. I never get a break. Can u offer to watch our daughter for a couple hours Once? Or offer to change her or bathe her or play with her. He loves her so much I know he does really so why do I have to force him to do these things. And when he does do them because I’ve made him he acts helpless and he can’t handle it and saying oh she wants her Mommy she needs you, oh my back hurts take her. And he want’s more kids! If the father works really hard doesn’t he still owe a minimum amount of just bonding with his kid? I feel like our relationship has morphed into a 50’s the woman does this and the Man does this. I feel like a single Mom most days. We need help, what can I do? what can I say to get him to understand?

  138. This is imporatant to me, please read :S

    my fiancee is such a stubborn guy, lovely, nice, devoted…but stubborn like…wow. He had a DWI and crashed his car like 3 years ago. Since then, he got a job, lost a job (cause it was a disreputable work place) and he has gone to court, which bumped DOWN his color for drug testing to once a month, instead of twice. If cooperative, he goes on unsupervised probation march 31. Well, he lost his job. He wouldnt call his PO nor call to see if his color was up. Everytime I asked him to call to see he would say “damnit, I know sarah! quit hounding me, I will do it. Quit pushing me, I hate that ” and he never does, the more I ask, the more pissed off he gets at me. I asked him to use my aunts phone and he was like “No, cause then they will never shut up” or he says” you know we can’t afford it, its 100$ at the hospital to get a drug test”. I try and get him off his butt to do something towards getting out of a rut and he just sits there and rather pretends it is not real..and when I tell him it wont go away he grits his teeth and scoffs going “ugh…I KNOW SARAH…shut up..” then he has this tendency to point the finger at me about being a messy person or something so I don’t have a halo around my head in that argument. Well, he had a warrant out cause of missed tests, turned himself in, went in front of a judge in a orange jumpsuit and shackles trying to reason and tell the judge he didn’t have a phone to contact nor money to do the tests, offered to be on a more frequent color rather than the 2 weeks jail time. Judge told him “well, couldnt you have used a pay phone, or mail a letter to your probation officer” he pauses five seconds and goes “well, I guess” then the judge says ” There is no legitamate reason why you failed to contact your PO for over…4 months.. So I am going to give you the 15 days cause I don’t think you would learn otherwise.” His mom was crying, was it bad that I was smiling???? I was mad, and equally like ” yeah, thats what you get for being stubborn ‘have it your way’ ” Anyway, when he gets out, if you were me, would you welcome him with open arms and a present (his Bday is Vday) or be pissed off….what would you do?

  139. my mom has attempted suicide again. I found Christ when I was expecting my son, I repented for my lifestyle and being unmarried. Five years later I started to date, sinned with two men I though each I was going to marry and had to repent so fully I know I will never do so again, by the grace of our the holy spirit, Jesus Christ and our holy God. My mom since she was young, she had a horrible, unmentionable childhood and was suicidal since younger, I thought she was doing better but has tried to drink and take pills about three to four times since I knew about her tries when I was 14. I feel bad I depended on her for a place to live and money with my son so I could raise him but I guess I thought because she had a lot of money it was okay and she was helping me financiallly so I could be there raise him to have love and follow Jesus and God. I have given her money, usually in a lump sum, but she was also generous. I tried to help her by being there for her also. I finallly moved out in the end of February again, this time to my own place, thanks to God. My son broke his arm and I had a problem with the first apartment but I did not ask her for money, but stayed with her a few days in between after she said she wanted us to. I also borrowed her car, to take my son to a bone doctor that was too far for my car, because she offered. I realize I should have said no. Anyway, she has other things going on, she can’t keep a job for some reason and she left one in December because her boss wasn’t nice or good and has been turned down a lot. She also has problems with most of our family members she says it is all our fault, because her three kids and family members never help her. I have tried to. I tell her I love her and Jesus and God loves her and she scoffs at me and tells me to go away. She is running out of money because she had about 15,000 since January but it is dwindling. So she said she was going to commit suicide and can’t take it (she says this a lot) but she had a will notarized last week and sent what was very like a suicde letter through email to my brother. That night I called 911 because she told me goodbye and tell my son to live a good life and she is sorry she wasn’t a good mother and we are all ungrateful and goodbye to everyone.

    I called 911 they took her to a hospital, and then a mental hospital for one day. She got out and told me and my brother to never contact her again. I thought she was mad, but hopefull she got past those dire feelings. She called her mom and cousin and said basically we made it up, she just sent that letter in case and she wouldn’t do anything to commit suicide. We were upset but relieved she was alive. Then she texted my uncle, goodbye the next day in a way where he was really worried so he called the police, they found her in the bathroom. She had slit her wrist. They said she had three minutes I am told, she was in ICU. Yesterday she was transferred to a regular room, I went to see her in ICU told her I loved her, Jesus and God lover her and we want her to feel better. She told me leave, get out, go away. I did. My 15 year old sister wanted to see her the next day. I went to support her and her dad, my stepfather before the divorce, and she asked to see my son after. I let her talk to him because she has done a lot for him, then she was really angry started yelling and being mean to me, so I left with him. She is angry with us, says it is the people around hers fault. They can’t tell us how she is now because she won’t let them by law, and is being rude. I am worried they will let her go, I don’t know what to do. I put it in the hands of God and pray for salvaiton in Jesus Christ to save her. I don’t know what else should be done

  140. i am nearly blinde, not completely but nearly. i just went to my gonna be high school to take the placement testing with all the other eighth graders. sinc e i am nearly blinde, my braille teacher signed me up to get a large print test booklit, no big deal right? well they all turned it into something bigger than it was, very insulting. so i had to go and tell some lady that i needed a large print test booklit, so i said “i’ve been signed up to use a large print test booklit”
    the lady goes. “you mean you need special accomidations.”
    “no, just a large print test booklit.”
    “no that would be considered special accomidations, come with me” she made me stand off to the side, with all the kids in special ed, and yes, i am in special ed, but TO READ BRAILLE not becuase i can’t comprehend the stuff they through at me, i am in all the gifted classes, and i’m planning on being advanced placement, in everything in high school.
    so i am standing their with all the support kids, and i ask “am i going to be in the room i was assigned too?” because that was really important to me, not to be seperated from my friend, who i was getting a ride home with, (we have the same last initial, so we were in the same room)
    and she said “we’ll see”
    she looked for my name on her list, and couldn’t find it, i told her “thats because i am not supposed to be here, i am supposed to be in s229.”
    she goes in a high pitched talking slow, almost parent ease voice “don’t worry, we’ll get you tested, just sit down iin here.”
    “but i am not supposed to be in here.”
    “yeah, i know, we’ll figure it out” same voice.
    then they would not let me fill out the forms myself, there was one wehre we were supposed to mark in all our grades this year in our classes, i told the lady that i get a’s in everything. and she was all “good job, you must be smart” then they asked if we were in excelerated classes, she almost filled in no, before i told her that i was in excelerated classes. they locked me in a room, with the lady, to mark the answers for me. that is what they do for the all blind kids, i told them over and over again, that i don’t need that, i can see. really i can. but nope, it was really offending, how they forced me to do this stuff. so i answer the first test, and the lady, makes me give her a high five, and she tells me “good job,” in the high pitched parent ease voice, and i give her a weak, please don’t talk to me in that tone, voice. this happened three more times with the three tests, and by this time, i was feeling very offended that they assumed that i was not smart enough to be in excelerated, and that i was in the room for other reasons, by the time i was in sixth grade, i was making accomadations for myself by myself, that they trained me to do in grade school, so all of this was really offending.
    then i finished, the science portion, and she said, “congradulations, your done, you can go home now.” i look at her like she’s the one who’s being treated meantly ill, and say, “no, i am staying for the writing portion” which is what you have to stay for to get into AP writing, which of coarse is very important to me, they just assumed i wasn’t going to take it, they didn’t even offer it to me. which is offending, but then the other lady, that made come in there at all, said to me, “you know, you don’t have to take it.” in the parent ease voice
    i say, “i know, but i want to be in A P English.” and she rolls her eyes at me and says, “if you want too.” in a ‘waisting your time’ kind of way.
    so i take this test and get out of their, and she asks me if i wanted to use the schools phone to call my mom, now i know, from talking to the special ed kids, (lots of them are friends of mine, out of coincidence) and they have hard families, lots of them don’t even have mothers, and i think she shouldn’t have said that, i nearly said, “no, i can’t call her, she’s dead.” but i didn’t because i don’t have the guts, so i walked out of there, feeling really angry that people would treat me like that, slump me with the support kids. my dad said i should have protested against taking the test, he said that might even cause me to get a lower test grade, my mom thinks that she will call some poeple and figure out who did it, so that she can get them in trouble for discrimination, lots of people do things like that to me, and usually, i can just move right past it, but this time,. its really burning. what do you think i should do? nothing rude please.
    i don’t have a 504, but i do have an iep, and they just call it special ed just the same, becuase my braille teacher works for a company run by special ed, and that doesn’t really help me with discrimination, or high school placement testing.
    I have all the things that you list, and i do know about my terrible spelling, S just one of those regular problems i have to work on, and it doesn’t help that i type faster than i should (about 80 wpm ranther than 50 wpm) and i have a really old keyboard, about as old as me, but thanks for reminding me, and being considerate, but in future, i read bad spelling better than anyone, because, i use it.

  141. My parents amaze me so much. They are like the typical asian parents who expect you to do better than everyone else and I read an article on why this is the reason why so many asians are successful. But what amazes me is that at the same time as expecting and nagging me to do well, they seem to be the root of me messing up. Actually its my choice to mess up to keep them happy by doing what they want. And in return I have to listen to how worthless I am and all my thoughts are wrong.

    I did exceptionally well in my GCSES, but they never really had involvement there (If i say, I was quite academically talented). Then I messed up my A levels, I messed up uni spending five years there and ending up with a diploma (and may I add that my father was only too happy that I stayed home and studied at the local uni regardless of what course I did). I decided to go away to travel to india and spend some time with family expecting to spend at least 3-4 weeks traveling too, but some how I managed to spend the whole 5 months with my extended family (which I enjoyed, but it would have been nice to have had gone traveling seeing as I had the time and it wasn’t like I didn’t plan to spend time with the family). And this was also down to my folks having involvement in what I do even though I was thousands of miles away! So I came back and applied for jobs and being under qualified, I couldn’t find anywhere close by. So I widened my search and managed to get an offer 50 miles away. It is an awesome opportunity they would train me and being a huge multi national company with huge contracts I had scope to progress. Now I was also expecting to return on weekends, but on low salary I can’t afford a car and traveling back home on weekends on local transport, especially on Sundays is too much of a hassle taking up to 3 hrs and so many changes. When the q came up I said I would come back now and then and of course they would be phoning to annoy me everyday anyway like they did when I went traveling (they totally ruined my day when they did this and I was supposed to be enjoying it) but they didn’t want to know and when I said ok i’ll tell them i’m turning down the offer they continued to have an argument with me and the best bit is they will have no regrets or feel bad for me for missing an opportunity thats potentially my big break and better in the long run.

    I guess this last thing about work sums up my boring worthless life. An opportunity comes my way and I have to turn it down to make my folks happy. and the thing is i’m not scared of loosing them, its other people in the family I care about which is why I choose to mess up my life otherwise I would have been long gone or even accepted this work offer without discussing it with my folks. And the only option is to now put myself into the family business but this is where it all gets typical again. because i’m younger than my elders ‘I know nothing’ and so while they’re around I just listen to them and do as i’m told. I even said to my dad I would be so into getting into business but what scope have i got if I can’t have any valid say or responsibility in the business (which by the way he knows the ideas I discuss in general about the business are always right. eg I told him to diversify and bring in certain products and he didn’t listen to me but years later he listens to outsiders and in a way is forced to due to economic and commodity pressures and its working).

    anyway i had my moan thanks for reading. i’ve decided now to put up with the crap at home, take a crappy call centre job, have no prospects, ambition or drive and learn the family business and wait for my uncle to retire so that i can be made a silent partner officially but loyal dog in terms of working.

    best wishes to all u other ppl i will wish that i am the only one to go through this as this situation really messes the head up, without drugs or alcohol abuse!

  142. This is imporatant to me, please read :S

    my fiancee is such a stubborn guy, lovely, nice, devoted…but stubborn like…wow. He had a DWI and crashed his car like 3 years ago. Since then, he got a job, lost a job (cause it was a disreputable work place) and he has gone to court, which bumped DOWN his color for drug testing to once a month, instead of twice. If cooperative, he goes on unsupervised probation march 31. Well, he lost his job. He wouldnt call his PO nor call to see if his color was up. Everytime I asked him to call to see he would say “damnit, I know sarah! quit hounding me, I will do it. Quit pushing me, I hate that ” and he never does, the more I ask, the more pissed off he gets at me. I asked him to use my aunts phone and he was like “No, cause then they will never shut up” or he says” you know we can’t afford it, its 100$ at the hospital to get a drug test”. I try and get him off his butt to do something towards getting out of a rut and he just sits there and rather pretends it is not real..and when I tell him it wont go away he grits his teeth and scoffs going “ugh…I KNOW SARAH…shut up..” then he has this tendency to point the finger at me about being a messy person or something so I don’t have a halo around my head in that argument. Well, he had a warrant out cause of missed tests, turned himself in, went in front of a judge in a orange jumpsuit and shackles trying to reason and tell the judge he didn’t have a phone to contact nor money to do the tests, offered to be on a more frequent color rather than the 2 weeks jail time. Judge told him “well, couldnt you have used a pay phone, or mail a letter to your probation officer” he pauses five seconds and goes “well, I guess” then the judge says ” There is no legitamate reason why you failed to contact your PO for over…4 months.. So I am going to give you the 15 days cause I don’t think you would learn otherwise.” His mom was crying, was it bad that I was smiling???? I was mad, and equally like ” yeah, thats what you get for being stubborn ‘have it your way’ ” Anyway, when he gets out, if you were me, would you welcome him with open arms and a present (his Bday is Vday) or be pissed off….what would you do?

  143. my fiancee is such a stubborn guy, lovely, nice, devoted…but stubborn like…wow. He had a DWI and crashed his car like 3 years ago. Since then, he got a job, lost a job (cause it was a disreputable work place) and he has gone to court, which bumped DOWN his color for drug testing to once a month, instead of twice. If cooperative, he goes on unsupervised probation march 31. Well, he lost his job. He wouldnt call his PO nor call to see if his color was up. Everytime I asked him to call to see he would say “damnit, I know sarah! quit hounding me, I will do it. Quit pushing me, I hate that ” and he never does, the more I ask, the more pissed off he gets at me. I asked him to use my aunts phone and he was like “No, cause then they will never shut up” or he says” you know we can’t afford it, its 100$ at the hospital to get a drug test”. I try and get him off his butt to do something towards getting out of a rut and he just sits there and rather pretends it is not real..and when I tell him it wont go away he grits his teeth and scoffs going “ugh…I KNOW SARAH…shut up..” then he has this tendency to point the finger at me about being a messy person or something so I don’t have a halo around my head in that argument. Well, he had a warrant out cause of missed tests, turned himself in, went in front of a judge in a orange jumpsuit and shackles trying to reason and tell the judge he didn’t have a phone to contact nor money to do the tests, offered to be on a more frequent color rather than the 2 weeks jail time. Judge told him “well, couldnt you have used a pay phone, or mail a letter to your probation officer” he pauses five seconds and goes “well, I guess” then the judge says ” There is no legitamate reason why you failed to contact your PO for over…4 months.. So I am going to give you the 15 days cause I don’t think you would learn otherwise.” His mom was crying, was it bad that I was smiling???? I was mad, and equally like ” yeah, thats what you get for being stubborn ‘have it your way’ ” Anyway, when he gets out, if you were me, would you welcome him with open arms and a present (his Bday is Vday) or be pissed off….what would you do?
    ……umm..Can’t never did anything….

  144. I met a girl on a matchmaking service as I could use a diversion for my time while overseas as a deployed soldier in Iraq. She and I spoke for six months online before I was able to come home and finally meet her. We talked about everything- including past relationships. She mentioned how she had lived with an older guy for three years when she turned 18, but that she broke it off because she thought he had cheated on her, he didn’t treat her well, and he wasn’t willing to settle down and marry her. Once we met, she and I fell in love and everything was great for the first several months of our relationship- I even moved in with her after leaving the Army.

    She introduced me to many of her friends, one of them a guy who we will call Rick. Rick was very nice to me, always buying me drinks, and he even offered me a job if I wanted it as I had just left the service. My GF had started a restaurant, and Rick’s contracting company did the majority of the work on the building because she had asked him to do it. Rick even had an office upstairs in the building for his contracting company- right next to my GF’s. When my GFs restaurant opened its doors, my GF hired Rick’s sister to be his bookkeeper- and I was also introduced by my GF to Rick’s entire family when they came in for dinner (which was fairly often). Rick helped bartend for the opening night of the restaurant. My GF was best friends with Rick’s brother’s wife, and my GF would always run to Rick when there were problems with the restaurant. There were several times when I found them upstairs together- alone, talking about things with the door closed. I had my suspicions, so I asked my GF how she got to know Rick- and she said he was just a friend she had known through her best friend (the one who was married to Rick’s brother).

    It wasn’t until we had been actually dating for six months (but talking for over a year) that I discovered the truth about my GF and Rick, just by casual conversation when someone told me he had given her a cheap rate on the construction for the restaurant because they had dated in the past. As I’m sure you know by now, Rick was the guy my GF had lived with for three years. I confronted her about it, and her response was that yes, they had lived together and dated, but that things between them were over. I told her I didn’t want her to talk to him anymore- but it was an impossible request. His sister worked for her, he had a contract for the office upstairs (so he would almost be guaranteed to see her every day for the next two years) and her best friend was married to his brother, so it would be hard for her to see her best friend without occasionally seeing him as well.

    I started snooping around to satisfy my curiosity. Even though it had been a couple years since they dated, she still had BOXES of photos of them together on beaches in Mexico and Jamaica- a place she and I were planning to go. She had an “I Love You” video she made for him still on her computer. There were no photos of any other person she dated- just pictures of those two together. When I confronted her about this, she did throw the pictures away, but only after I told her about them.

    My GF reassured me that there was nothing going on, and I believed her. Rick told me the same thing when he found out I knew. I don’t think she wants to date him, but I think that for whatever reason she likes having him around. It has been five months since I learned of this, and I still can’t get over it- how inconsiderate she was to put me in this situation, how she deceived me by lying about it/not telling me about it

  145. I met a girl on a matchmaking service as I could use a diversion for my time while overseas as a deployed soldier in Iraq. She and I spoke for six months online before I was able to come home and finally meet her. We talked about everything- including past relationships. She mentioned how she had lived with an older guy for three years when she turned 18, but that she broke it off because she thought he had cheated on her, he didn’t treat her well, and he wasn’t willing to settle down and marry her. Once we met, she and I fell in love and everything was great for the first several months of our relationship- I even moved in with her after leaving the Army.

    She introduced me to many of her friends, one of them a guy who we will call Rick. Rick was very nice to me, always buying me drinks, and he even offered me a job if I wanted it as I had just left the service. My GF had started a restaurant, and Rick’s contracting company did the majority of the work on the building because she had asked him to do it. Rick even had an office upstairs in the building for his contracting company- right next to my GF’s. When my GFs restaurant opened its doors, my GF hired Rick’s sister to be his bookkeeper- and I was also introduced by my GF to Rick’s entire family when they came in for dinner (which was fairly often). Rick helped bartend for the opening night of the restaurant. My GF was best friends with Rick’s brother’s wife, and my GF would always run to Rick when there were problems with the restaurant. There were several times when I found them upstairs together- alone, talking about things with the door closed. I had my suspicions, so I asked my GF how she got to know Rick- and she said he was just a friend she had known through her best friend (the one who was married to Rick’s brother).

    It wasn’t until we had been actually dating for six months (but talking for over a year) that I discovered the truth about my GF and Rick, just by casual conversation when someone told me he had given her a cheap rate on the construction for the restaurant because they had dated in the past. As I’m sure you know by now, Rick was the guy my GF had lived with for three years. I confronted her about it, and her response was that yes, they had lived together and dated, but that things between them were over. I told her I didn’t want her to talk to him anymore- but it was an impossible request. His sister worked for her, he had a contract for the office upstairs (so he would almost be guaranteed to see her every day for the next two years) and her best friend was married to his brother, so it would be hard for her to see her best friend without occasionally seeing him as well.

    I started snooping around to satisfy my curiosity. Even though it had been a couple years since they dated, she still had BOXES of photos of them together on beaches in Mexico and Jamaica- a place she and I were planning to go. She had an “I Love You” video she made for him still on her computer. There were no photos of any other person she dated- just pictures of those two together. When I confronted her about this, she did throw the pictures away, but only after I told her about them.

    My GF reassured me that there was nothing going on, and I believed her. Rick told me the same thing when he found out I knew. I don’t think she wants to date him, but I think that for whatever reason she likes having him around. It has been five months since I learned of this, and I still can’t get over it- how inconsiderate she was to put me in this situation, how she deceived me by lying about it/not telling me about it

  146. I know this is long but if you’re a reg, TC or professional, please consider reading this even if you don’t want to respond. I honestly don’t know what to do with myself. Many regs here know that I state that I am a qualified mental health practitioner. That is true – I would never lie about a qualification I do not have or pretend to be somebody I am not.

    I do not currently work in mental health because of a traumatic even 12 months ago. I was set-up by an angry ex-partner when I found out he was having an affair and threatened to tell his ‘other woman’.

    In order to stop me, he got me sectioned. Very easy for him to do as he was a police sergeant. It took one call and I was dragged off for no reason. He told them I was about to commit suicide. I was not. He just wanted me out of the way to buy himself time to protect himself.

    I was treated ok by the police, but horrendously by hospital staff including members of the crisis team and ward staff. My level of distress grew tenfold every day because they kept tricking me over and over, saying I only needed to stay one night then I could go, Three days later they were still holding me. I was crying and begging to be freed but they told me I could not go. The section had been lifted before I even got to hospital for assessment (yes, really!). They had no holding powers on me and they kept telling me I was there voluntarily. I was not. To this day in my notes it says I was there on a voluntary basis yet I tried everything to try to get out.

    They had told me I was not able to see a psychiatrist for another 12 days as they only visited the ward every 2 weeks. Being a mental health practitioner, I knew this was rubbish and knew my legal rights and so I called a solicitor. She visited the ward twice and told the staff they were holding me illegally. She told them they must either let me go or section me. On both occasions, the staff told her they would call a psychiatrist and get them to assess me that same day with a view to allowing me to go home, The solicitor would leave the ward, and the staff would NOT call a psychiatrist to come and talk to me, In fact they did nothing but lie and abuse me. I did not eat one single thing for five days and had less than two tiny cups of water each day. In fact it was only after I left that I realised that at no point did they offer me food. I was exhausted, weak, angry and actually began to feel genuinely suicidal over the captivity and deceit. I looked for ways to end my life and found none. I could not believe what was happening to me – as if finding out the man I’d been with for two years had been cheating the whole time, not ON me with WITH ME. I was his ‘other woman’ but neither his partner nor myself had any inkling. He lived a double life that whole time and now I was having to face this trauma which went against EVERYTHING I’d been taught at university and every instict I had.

    After several days, I actually escaped from the psychiatric ward. I cannot tell you how because I do not want to give vulnerable people who NEED to be in hospital ideas on how to get out, but escape I did, and I jumped on the first bus I saw and fled to a train station and got many miles away. I hid there for two weeks, staying each night in a different hotel, paying for everything with cash so I could not be traced via bank statements.

    On three occasions I was returning to the hotels for the night after a day quite literally on the run and found police cars parked outside. I ran and hid until they left, convinced they had tracked me down and were waiting to transport me back to Hell behind locked doors.

    Eventually I returned home. The police turned up several minutes after I returned. It was a dumb cop probably too delirious from doughnut munching to care about his job. He found me eventually, hiding in my wardrobe. He didn’t even know the circumstances or that I was supposed to be in hospital. In fact he knew nothing except one of the neighbours had called the police after seeing me return. The police had apparently asked the neighbours to call 999 if any of them saw me, and one of them had. He didn’t know why he’d been sent. Somehow I managed to blag my way out of it and he left, clueless.

    Since then, I have had the biggest hatred for mental health services like you wouldn’t believe. My anger boils constantly because they have taken away my career – I can no longer work with other MH professionals because I trust NONE. My answers here on Yahoo Answers are my only way of exercising what I have learnt and my urge to help and advise others is as strong as it ever was.

    I feel traumatised by my experience. I will never and can never work with mental health services again, either as a patient or professional. My instinct to keep every tiny aspect of my life incredibly private is so strong that I barely talk to anybody now.

    What do I do? Please don’t suggest counse
    Sorry – counselling or anything to do with mental health. I am scared, angry and lost.
    DD, I’ll try to answer with not many characters!

    In the UK a psychiatrist MUST assess patient before discharge even if they are there voluntarily. Nobody can just walk out at any time. Legally if a vol. patient asks to leave, they need to call a psych during the day and ask them to come and eval with a view to discharge. Staff said they would call one, but then refused to do so. The solicitor would have been breaking the law trying to get me out without an eval.

    The unit was locked & staff on the door 24/7. I could not just walk out. Bars on windows, that kind of thing.

    I would have refused food regardless. I had not taken anything prior to admission & they do blood tests to check this. No meds/drugs/alcohol in system. ‘Inmates’ flocked to kitchen area at mealtimes but I was never called for a meal or told I had to eat. Nobody offered to bring toast to my room, for example. I refused to eat/sit with patients as I would be seen to be complying with their abuse & I was not a patient a
    I was not a patient and did not want a reputation of being amongst the others patients (I would not socialise in case of of them knew me!)

    Cannot go back and ‘get records’. Here you have to apply to see medical records and they only give you the very basic stuff that they don’t mind you reading. No way would info in there from that lock up be released to me.

    After I left I was hiding because I had escaped from a locked psychiatric ward. The police kept calling my mobile and leaving messages asking me to go back or meet them anywhere I wanted. I was on ‘red alert’ – what the cops call ‘high risk missing’ partly due to the state I was in when I left and partly due to absconding. It means police were out looking for me and could 136 me in the street and take me back if they found me (sectioning in a public place). I was not scared by the cop/ex. I knew he wouldn’t hurt me – we are not talking domestic violence. It’s abuse of power but he never ever physically hurt me in any way.
    DD, I’ll try to answer with not many characters!

    In the UK a psychiatrist MUST assess patient before discharge even if they are there voluntarily. Nobody can just walk out at any time. Legally if a vol. patient asks to leave, they need to call a psych during the day and ask them to come and eval with a view to discharge. Staff said they would call one, but then refused to do so. The solicitor would have been breaking the law trying to get me out without an eval.

    The unit was locked & staff on the door 24/7. I could not just walk out. Bars on windows, that kind of thing.

    I would have refused food regardless. I had not taken anything prior to admission & they do blood tests to check this. No meds/drugs/alcohol in system. ‘Inmates’ flocked to kitchen area at mealtimes but I was never called for a meal or told I had to eat. Nobody offered to bring toast to my room, for example. I refused to eat/sit with patients as I would be seen to be complying with their abuse & I was not a patient a

  147. I did ask a similar question but it was only for the last 2-3 paragraphs and I think that people thought that it was the begining, well heres the whole thing at the moment. Lastly I know that to older people it may not apeal, but this is a story for teens etc, so that may be the reason why. I know my grammar isn’t perfect and I understand that.

    Preface

    My name is Chezney Wilson. I’m not some famous celebrity chased by the paparazzi that you see tend to always see nowadays. I’m not even some random wannabe that tags along with the largest crowds just to be noticed and appreciated. I don’t want to be any of those people. I just want to be a normal and regular guy, that tries to help others as much as he can. Who does his best to try and make the world just that little better. Well I thought that I was just a normal and regular guy, but as it turned out, there was more to me then even I knew.

    Chapter One

    A New Start

    Being a lonely child and having your parents split up is incredibly hard. First of all, your most likely going to be confused, hurt and scared as you have no idea for if it is your fathers fault, your mothers or maybe even yours. That’s immediately how I felt when my parents got divorced, and these were my exact feelings on the twenty sixth of may, two thousand and ten, five days before my eighteenth birthday, when I found myself sitting beside my Dad, Harry Wilson, in the front passenger seat of his shiny new black Porsche. My Dad is kind of rich; he had a big job in a hospital. Actually he was known as the best doctor in all Seattle which I think that this was the problem, that my Mom, didn’t think that my Dad spent enough time at home. However now that we had left Seattle; due to both his and my Mom’s, final decision. My Dad has been offered a new job as the chief doctor in Traverse City, Michigan. I don’t really pay any attention to the fact that my Dad earns a great deal of money each year, as cash isn’t really everything, its really all about what you want to do in life. That is why in the backseat, my bass guitar is safely lieing down on a few fully packed suitcases. Music is just one of the subjects that I fully enjoy, to me life without music is simply unbearable, I play guitar and sometimes only when I’m alone, I tend to sing a little. When school is involved, I’m not exactly the cleverest in my classes, I guess you can say that I’m an average B plus student. I put a lot of effort into my education as its important and a few good grades, can make nice decorations on the kitchen refrigerator.
    After a another slow two and a half hour drive, we soon started to arrive at the city’s entrance. Feeling extremely bored due to the lack of activity, I gazed into the small side view mirror and took a good look at my appearance, ready for when we finally got out of the car. As I swept my long and dark fringe away from my right eye, my hard, piercing and still a little upset, blue eye slowly blinked back in my direction. Apart from the clear signs of lack of sleep that had started to creep around the bottom of both of my eyes, they seemed to both looked perfectly fine.
    “That’s what you need, plenty of sleep,” remarked my Dad suddenly, still keeping his eyes on the busy road in front of us as we slowly came to a short bend. This remark sounded strange because apart from the quick, ‘Are you ready?’ he had asked before we had left, this was the first thing that he had said throughout the whole trip.
    “Maybe,” I muttered, not taking any notice of what he had just said. As I looked away from the side view mirror, I managed to catch a small glimpse of the city’s tall welcome sign, as it towered above us for just a quick a second. Feeling awkward, he slowly shuffled around in his seat and then took a quick sip of his strong smelling black coffee. Wanting to avoid this awkward moment, I looked out of my window and noticed that there were a lot of people and stores flashing by, then there had been around five minutes ago.
    As we gradually began to drive deeper into the city, it soon became to feel incredibly boring. For no apparent reason, I tightly closed my eyes and reopened them five minutes later, to find that we had just left the city and now started to pass the most beautiful looking beach that I had ever seen. As if the beach was somehow controlling me, I rolled down my window, allowing a gentle breeze to enter, so that I could see everything even more clearly. Everything about the beach looked amazing its golden sand as it glinted in the strong sun light and the clear deep blue water.
    “I knew that you would like this place,” Dad eagerly remarked, as he took a quick and hopeful look in my direction. Without answering, I knew inside that he was right, this place was extreme. “Kind of beautiful isn’t it?” he asked, as we stopped at a set of lights, to let a group of laughing teens, carrying surf boards, cross the road. Giving the beach one last look, I turned to look at Dad, as I

  148. I met a girl on a matchmaking service as I could use a diversion for my time while overseas as a deployed soldier in Iraq. She and I spoke for six months online before I was able to come home and finally meet her. We talked about everything- including past relationships. She mentioned how she had lived with an older guy for three years when she turned 18, but that she broke it off because she thought he had cheated on her, he didn’t treat her well, and he wasn’t willing to settle down and marry her. Once we met, she and I fell in love and everything was great for the first several months of our relationship- I even moved in with her after leaving the Army.

    She introduced me to many of her friends, one of them a guy who we will call Rick. Rick was very nice to me, always buying me drinks, and he even offered me a job if I wanted it as I had just left the service. My GF had started a restaurant, and Rick’s contracting company did the majority of the work on the building because she had asked him to do it. Rick even had an office upstairs in the building for his contracting company- right next to my GF’s. When my GFs restaurant opened its doors, my GF hired Rick’s sister to be his bookkeeper- and I was also introduced by my GF to Rick’s entire family when they came in for dinner (which was fairly often). Rick helped bartend for the opening night of the restaurant. My GF was best friends with Rick’s brother’s wife, and my GF would always run to Rick when there were problems with the restaurant. There were several times when I found them upstairs together- alone, talking about things with the door closed. I had my suspicions, so I asked my GF how she got to know Rick- and she said he was just a friend she had known through her best friend (the one who was married to Rick’s brother).

    It wasn’t until we had been actually dating for six months (but talking for over a year) that I discovered the truth about my GF and Rick, just by casual conversation when someone told me he had given her a cheap rate on the construction for the restaurant because they had dated in the past. As I’m sure you know by now, Rick was the guy my GF had lived with for three years. I confronted her about it, and her response was that yes, they had lived together and dated, but that things between them were over. I told her I didn’t want her to talk to him anymore- but it was an impossible request. His sister worked for her, he had a contract for the office upstairs (so he would almost be guaranteed to see her every day for the next two years) and her best friend was married to his brother, so it would be hard for her to see her best friend without occasionally seeing him as well.

    I started snooping around to satisfy my curiosity. Even though it had been a couple years since they dated, she still had BOXES of photos of them together on beaches in Mexico and Jamaica- a place she and I were planning to go. She had an “I Love You” video she made for him still on her computer. There were no photos of any other person she dated- just pictures of those two together. When I confronted her about this, she did throw the pictures away, but only after I told her about them.

    My GF reassured me that there was nothing going on, and I believed her. Rick told me the same thing when he found out I knew. I don’t think she wants to date him, but I think that for whatever reason she likes having him around. It has been five months since I learned of this, and I still can’t get over it- how inconsiderate she was to put me in this situation, how she deceived me by lying about it/not telling me about it

  149. Alright so i met my bf cameron in september and as cheesy as it sounds, i fell in love with him instantly. I’ve had a lot of short relationships and we lasted 7 months. the first 5 were heaven/perfect/amazing…you name it. we were perfect and i’ve never been so happy. he told me he loved me, and i told him i loved him too. i’ve said it to one person before but later realized that i was very naive at that time, so i dont really count it any more. i meant it with cameron though. i felt completely content and for the first time in my life, didnt even LOOK at other guys! that’s never happened before with me.

    but like i said, it was perfect for the first five months. we’ve been together 7. we started having problems when he started not being able to make time for me. he also got a new job on top of it, although it started before he was hired. i was pretty understanding and didnt even say anything for a while. he has school and work and those need to be a priority. but it wasnt just that he didnt have a lot of time any more…he started breaking promises and just being a downright douche. i ended up telling him i wanted to break up, and we talked it out to the point where i agreed to a break until summer when maybe we could try things again.

    so we go on a break, but meanwhile my car was broken. cameron is kind of a mechanic so he had told me he would fix it since i dont have a lot of money. but now that we were broken up, it would have been too weird. this guy colton i know a little offered to fix it for free and i wasnt about to turn him down. we hadnt really hung out before but while we were hanging out, fixing my car and stuff, we actually got to be really good friends. he told me he had feelings for me, but i explained that i still loved cameron and although i was technically single, i wasnt interested in dating anybody.

    now me and cameron are back together and working things out. he has changed quite a bit and i SHOULD be completely happy. but for some reason i’m not. i dont know what happened, but i’m almost indifferent now when it comes to cameron. i dont feel anything at all when i kiss him and i feel nothing when we say i love you to each other. at first i though it was because of colton, that maybe i DO have feelings for him. but the more i thought about it, i could tell that wasnt it. i just feel like being single or something, but that doesnt seem like enough of a reason. i was HEAD OVER FRIGGIN HEELS for cameron. and when we broke up all i could think about was being with him again. but now that we are back together i just feel bored and emotionless. there’s no spark any more and i dont know why. i was also really attracted to him physically before and now that’s gone too. his sense of humor cracked me up before and now he just irritates me. i cant even figure out what i saw in him before! what the heck happened?! i’ve cared way less about guys before and not been able to let go and move on. now with cameron who i genuinely loved and wanted to be with, those feelings that were so strong just disappeared. how though? i just dont understand what happened! i feel guilty still leading him on thinking things are fine, and i want to break up again honestly. i know he’ll just think it’s for colton though and it’s not. why is this happening and what do i do?! please help me :/

  150. I did ask a similar question but it was only for the last 2-3 paragraphs and I think that people thought that it was the begining, well heres the whole thing at the moment. Lastly I know that to older people it may not apeal, but this is a story for teens etc, so that may be the reason why. I know my grammar isn’t perfect and I understand that.

    Preface

    My name is Chezney Wilson. I’m not some famous celebrity chased by the paparazzi that you see tend to always see nowadays. I’m not even some random wannabe that tags along with the largest crowds just to be noticed and appreciated. I don’t want to be any of those people. I just want to be a normal and regular guy, that tries to help others as much as he can. Who does his best to try and make the world just that little better. Well I thought that I was just a normal and regular guy, but as it turned out, there was more to me then even I knew.

    Chapter One

    A New Start

    Being a lonely child and having your parents split up is incredibly hard. First of all, your most likely going to be confused, hurt and scared as you have no idea for if it is your fathers fault, your mothers or maybe even yours. That’s immediately how I felt when my parents got divorced, and these were my exact feelings on the twenty sixth of may, two thousand and ten, five days before my eighteenth birthday, when I found myself sitting beside my Dad, Harry Wilson, in the front passenger seat of his shiny new black Porsche. My Dad is kind of rich; he had a big job in a hospital. Actually he was known as the best doctor in all Seattle which I think that this was the problem, that my Mom, didn’t think that my Dad spent enough time at home. However now that we had left Seattle; due to both his and my Mom’s, final decision. My Dad has been offered a new job as the chief doctor in Traverse City, Michigan. I don’t really pay any attention to the fact that my Dad earns a great deal of money each year, as cash isn’t really everything, its really all about what you want to do in life. That is why in the backseat, my bass guitar is safely lieing down on a few fully packed suitcases. Music is just one of the subjects that I fully enjoy, to me life without music is simply unbearable, I play guitar and sometimes only when I’m alone, I tend to sing a little. When school is involved, I’m not exactly the cleverest in my classes, I guess you can say that I’m an average B plus student. I put a lot of effort into my education as its important and a few good grades, can make nice decorations on the kitchen refrigerator.
    After a another slow two and a half hour drive, we soon started to arrive at the city’s entrance. Feeling extremely bored due to the lack of activity, I gazed into the small side view mirror and took a good look at my appearance, ready for when we finally got out of the car. As I swept my long and dark fringe away from my right eye, my hard, piercing and still a little upset, blue eye slowly blinked back in my direction. Apart from the clear signs of lack of sleep that had started to creep around the bottom of both of my eyes, they seemed to both looked perfectly fine.
    “That’s what you need, plenty of sleep,” remarked my Dad suddenly, still keeping his eyes on the busy road in front of us as we slowly came to a short bend. This remark sounded strange because apart from the quick, ‘Are you ready?’ he had asked before we had left, this was the first thing that he had said throughout the whole trip.
    “Maybe,” I muttered, not taking any notice of what he had just said. As I looked away from the side view mirror, I managed to catch a small glimpse of the city’s tall welcome sign, as it towered above us for just a quick a second. Feeling awkward, he slowly shuffled around in his seat and then took a quick sip of his strong smelling black coffee. Wanting to avoid this awkward moment, I looked out of my window and noticed that there were a lot of people and stores flashing by, then there had been around five minutes ago.
    As we gradually began to drive deeper into the city, it soon became to feel incredibly boring. For no apparent reason, I tightly closed my eyes and reopened them five minutes later, to find that we had just left the city and now started to pass the most beautiful looking beach that I had ever seen. As if the beach was somehow controlling me, I rolled down my window, allowing a gentle breeze to enter, so that I could see everything even more clearly. Everything about the beach looked amazing its golden sand as it glinted in the strong sun light and the clear deep blue water.
    “I knew that you would like this place,” Dad eagerly remarked, as he took a quick and hopeful look in my direction. Without answering, I knew inside that he was right, this place was extreme. “Kind of beautiful isn’t it?” he asked, as we stopped at a set of lights, to let a group of laughing teens, carrying surf boards, cross the road. Giving the beach one last look, I turned to look at Dad, as I

  151. Alright so i met my bf cameron in september and as cheesy as it sounds, i fell in love with him instantly. I’ve had a lot of short relationships and we lasted 7 months. the first 5 were heaven/perfect/amazing…you name it. we were perfect and i’ve never been so happy. he told me he loved me, and i told him i loved him too. i’ve said it to one person before but later realized that i was very naive at that time, so i dont really count it any more. i meant it with cameron though. i felt completely content and for the first time in my life, didnt even LOOK at other guys! that’s never happened before with me.

    but like i said, it was perfect for the first five months. we’ve been together 7. we started having problems when he started not being able to make time for me. he also got a new job on top of it, although it started before he was hired. i was pretty understanding and didnt even say anything for a while. he has school and work and those need to be a priority. but it wasnt just that he didnt have a lot of time any more…he started breaking promises and just being a downright douche. i ended up telling him i wanted to break up, and we talked it out to the point where i agreed to a break until summer when maybe we could try things again.

    so we go on a break, but meanwhile my car was broken. cameron is kind of a mechanic so he had told me he would fix it since i dont have a lot of money. but now that we were broken up, it would have been too weird. this guy colton i know a little offered to fix it for free and i wasnt about to turn him down. we hadnt really hung out before but while we were hanging out, fixing my car and stuff, we actually got to be really good friends. he told me he had feelings for me, but i explained that i still loved cameron and although i was technically single, i wasnt interested in dating anybody.

    now me and cameron are back together and working things out. he has changed quite a bit and i SHOULD be completely happy. but for some reason i’m not. i dont know what happened, but i’m almost indifferent now when it comes to cameron. i dont feel anything at all when i kiss him and i feel nothing when we say i love you to each other. at first i though it was because of colton, that maybe i DO have feelings for him. but the more i thought about it, i could tell that wasnt it. i just feel like being single or something, but that doesnt seem like enough of a reason. i was HEAD OVER FRIGGIN HEELS for cameron. and when we broke up all i could think about was being with him again. but now that we are back together i just feel bored and emotionless. there’s no spark any more and i dont know why. i was also really attracted to him physically before and now that’s gone too. his sense of humor cracked me up before and now he just irritates me. i cant even figure out what i saw in him before! what the heck happened?! i’ve cared way less about guys before and not been able to let go and move on. now with cameron who i genuinely loved and wanted to be with, those feelings that were so strong just disappeared. how though? i just dont understand what happened! i feel guilty still leading him on thinking things are fine, and i want to break up again honestly. i know he’ll just think it’s for colton though and it’s not. why is this happening and what do i do?! please help me :/

  152. Step daughter is 23 with a kid. She graduated college 18 mos ago. She had a baby, has never worked a day in her life. My husband has been paying for everything. He is now regretting it. It is debilitating her. She lives with the belief that she does not have to work and she can use anyone anyway she wants. My husband is likely going to be laid off. It dawned on me today that he basically treated her like his wife (without the spousal duties). He has 3 kids. He bought her a brand new car, a 1000 dollar great dane, designer everything, a condo, top notch furniture. all she has to do is well – nothing. He pays Cobra Insurance for her because she is a grown up and the insurance lapsed.

    She has been fighting custody over the baby with the father, but really all they (the father of the baby) want is standard visitation. She lives in another state and we have asked her to come home but she won’t because of one reason or another (including the father of the baby won’t allow it). We told her she could come live here, but who would want to leave a spacious condo with cherry hardwood floors to live in a crowded house, right? We offered that we could watch the baby while she works if she moves down here. She said no, she was going to go to graduate school.

    She wants the father of the baby not to have any rights whatsoever, so she wants about $10,000 to pay for a lawyer. My husband said he is no longer going to pay her way and that he agrees that he has been allowing her to live in a fantasy world and he wants to stop doing this.

    She was just hired for a job for $15 an hour and full benefits, he would have been willing to continue making house payments to help her out until she could get on her feet, but she turned down the job because she felt that daycare would be traumatic on the 10 month old baby. Then she called back and said she just bought a GPS navigation system for 200 bucks and could dad please put money in her account! I was floored. I have been in the situation of having a child alone and I never in my wildest dreams would have thought to have bought a “luxury” item, especially when it was not needed.

    I am also worried because she is so set on being able to give her infant daughter psychotic meds because she thinks that the child may need it in the future and does not want the father of this infant to have any say so. I just have this feeling like my husband is going behind my back and going to give her money the minute she starts crying. She refuses to accept any responsibility. She won’t get a job. She makes excuses, she is manipulative and she knows exactly what to say to get money from her dad. He doesn’t have a backbone where she’s concerned. When he tells her to do something, he says it in a manner that sounds more like he is afraid to get through to her she cannot carry on like this. He is afraid of losing her.

    She honestly believes that the salary my husband makes is her salary. She acts as though she has the same rights as a spouse. My husband and I have talked but I am having serious doubts that he will follow through.

    She calls him an a-hole and then turns around and talks about him dying and tells him that since he married me, if affects her inheritance. They sat at Thanksgiving Dinner and told their dad that he needed to go die basically. But he does not hear what his kids tell him or basically takes it as a joke. My kids have never told me to go die (maybe go to hell, but not die). Then she started in that the dishes that were given to him in his first wife’s marriage (she deceased) and that she wants them and is entitled to them. He bought many of the pieces to make it a complete set. We would likely have given them to her later, but she feels some direct and immediate entitlement to them.

    So today I heard her talking about my five year and making accusations that were not true and I just yelled at my husband who was ever so nicely telling her she was not being appropriate, I told her to take care of herself and her child and quit manipulating her father. He got mad at me because she hung up on him. I told him I did not care to hear anymore because all she does is talk. I am thinking I should get a job albeit it would be considerably less than what he could make, but I may end up having to leave because I am really having a hard time thinking I could live with this. I had not realized he is basically married to this child, who thinks she has entitlement.

    I have been through a lot of sad times, I have been through rough times. My parents were well off and did not offer me a “bail out” I went through college nursing a child and working. I did not get ammenities like a PC to type my papers I had to drive over an hour to get to a computer and usually had to stay up 3-4 days at a time during finals weeks. I don’t desire more money or “things” for myself. I can take care of myself. It’s the attitude of this girl and the way she treats her father that makes me infu

  153. my fiancee is such a stubborn guy, lovely, nice, devoted…but stubborn like…wow. He had a DWI and crashed his car like 3 years ago. Since then, he got a job, lost a job (cause it was a disreputable work place) and he has gone to court, which bumped DOWN his color for drug testing to once a month, instead of twice. If cooperative, he goes on unsupervised probation march 31. Well, he lost his job. He wouldnt call his PO nor call to see if his color was up. Everytime I asked him to call to see he would say “damnit, I know sarah! quit hounding me, I will do it. Quit pushing me, I hate that ” and he never does, the more I ask, the more pissed off he gets at me. I asked him to use my aunts phone and he was like “No, cause then they will never shut up” or he says” you know we can’t afford it, its 100$ at the hospital to get a drug test”. I try and get him off his butt to do something towards getting out of a rut and he just sits there and rather pretends it is not real..and when I tell him it wont go away he grits his teeth and scoffs going “ugh…I KNOW SARAH…shut up..” then he has this tendency to point the finger at me about being a messy person or something so I don’t have a halo around my head in that argument. Well, he had a warrant out cause of missed tests, turned himself in, went in front of a judge in a orange jumpsuit and shackles trying to reason and tell the judge he didn’t have a phone to contact nor money to do the tests, offered to be on a more frequent color rather than the 2 weeks jail time. Judge told him “well, couldnt you have used a pay phone, or mail a letter to your probation officer” he pauses five seconds and goes “well, I guess” then the judge says ” There is no legitamate reason why you failed to contact your PO for over…4 months.. So I am going to give you the 15 days cause I don’t think you would learn otherwise.” His mom was crying, was it bad that I was smiling???? I was mad, and equally like ” yeah, thats what you get for being stubborn ‘have it your way’ ” Anyway, when he gets out, if you were me, would you welcome him with open arms and a present (his Bday is Vday) or be pissed off….what would you do?
    ……umm..Can’t never did anything….

  154. i am nearly blinde, not completely but nearly. i just went to my gonna be high school to take the placement testing with all the other eighth graders. sinc e i am nearly blinde, my braille teacher signed me up to get a large print test booklit, no big deal right? well they all turned it into something bigger than it was, very insulting. so i had to go and tell some lady that i needed a large print test booklit, so i said “i’ve been signed up to use a large print test booklit”
    the lady goes. “you mean you need special accomidations.”
    “no, just a large print test booklit.”
    “no that would be considered special accomidations, come with me” she made me stand off to the side, with all the kids in special ed, and yes, i am in special ed, but TO READ BRAILLE not becuase i can’t comprehend the stuff they through at me, i am in all the gifted classes, and i’m planning on being advanced placement, in everything in high school.
    so i am standing their with all the support kids, and i ask “am i going to be in the room i was assigned too?” because that was really important to me, not to be seperated from my friend, who i was getting a ride home with, (we have the same last initial, so we were in the same room)
    and she said “we’ll see”
    she looked for my name on her list, and couldn’t find it, i told her “thats because i am not supposed to be here, i am supposed to be in s229.”
    she goes in a high pitched talking slow, almost parent ease voice “don’t worry, we’ll get you tested, just sit down iin here.”
    “but i am not supposed to be in here.”
    “yeah, i know, we’ll figure it out” same voice.
    then they would not let me fill out the forms myself, there was one wehre we were supposed to mark in all our grades this year in our classes, i told the lady that i get a’s in everything. and she was all “good job, you must be smart” then they asked if we were in excelerated classes, she almost filled in no, before i told her that i was in excelerated classes. they locked me in a room, with the lady, to mark the answers for me. that is what they do for the all blind kids, i told them over and over again, that i don’t need that, i can see. really i can. but nope, it was really offending, how they forced me to do this stuff. so i answer the first test, and the lady, makes me give her a high five, and she tells me “good job,” in the high pitched parent ease voice, and i give her a weak, please don’t talk to me in that tone, voice. this happened three more times with the three tests, and by this time, i was feeling very offended that they assumed that i was not smart enough to be in excelerated, and that i was in the room for other reasons, by the time i was in sixth grade, i was making accomadations for myself by myself, that they trained me to do in grade school, so all of this was really offending.
    then i finished, the science portion, and she said, “congradulations, your done, you can go home now.” i look at her like she’s the one who’s being treated meantly ill, and say, “no, i am staying for the writing portion” which is what you have to stay for to get into AP writing, which of coarse is very important to me, they just assumed i wasn’t going to take it, they didn’t even offer it to me. which is offending, but then the other lady, that made come in there at all, said to me, “you know, you don’t have to take it.” in the parent ease voice
    i say, “i know, but i want to be in A P English.” and she rolls her eyes at me and says, “if you want too.” in a ‘waisting your time’ kind of way.
    so i take this test and get out of their, and she asks me if i wanted to use the schools phone to call my mom, now i know, from talking to the special ed kids, (lots of them are friends of mine, out of coincidence) and they have hard families, lots of them don’t even have mothers, and i think she shouldn’t have said that, i nearly said, “no, i can’t call her, she’s dead.” but i didn’t because i don’t have the guts, so i walked out of there, feeling really angry that people would treat me like that, slump me with the support kids. my dad said i should have protested against taking the test, he said that might even cause me to get a lower test grade, my mom thinks that she will call some poeple and figure out who did it, so that she can get them in trouble for discrimination, lots of people do things like that to me, and usually, i can just move right past it, but this time,. its really burning. what do you think i should do? nothing rude please.
    i don’t have a 504, but i do have an iep, and they just call it special ed just the same, becuase my braille teacher works for a company run by special ed, and that doesn’t really help me with discrimination, or high school placement testing.
    I have all the things that you list, and i do know about my terrible spelling, S just one of those regular problems i have to work on, and it doesn’t help that i type faster than i should (about 80 wpm ranther than 50 wpm) and i have a really old keyboard, about as old as me, but thanks for reminding me, and being considerate, but in future, i read bad spelling better than anyone, because, i use it.

  155. Step daughter is 23 with a kid. She graduated college 18 mos ago. She had a baby, has never worked a day in her life. My husband has been paying for everything. He is now regretting it. It is debilitating her. She lives with the belief that she does not have to work and she can use anyone anyway she wants. My husband is likely going to be laid off. It dawned on me today that he basically treated her like his wife (without the spousal duties). He has 3 kids. He bought her a brand new car, a 1000 dollar great dane, designer everything, a condo, top notch furniture. all she has to do is well – nothing. He pays Cobra Insurance for her because she is a grown up and the insurance lapsed.

    She has been fighting custody over the baby with the father, but really all they (the father of the baby) want is standard visitation. She lives in another state and we have asked her to come home but she won’t because of one reason or another (including the father of the baby won’t allow it). We told her she could come live here, but who would want to leave a spacious condo with cherry hardwood floors to live in a crowded house, right? We offered that we could watch the baby while she works if she moves down here. She said no, she was going to go to graduate school.

    She wants the father of the baby not to have any rights whatsoever, so she wants about $10,000 to pay for a lawyer. My husband said he is no longer going to pay her way and that he agrees that he has been allowing her to live in a fantasy world and he wants to stop doing this.

    She was just hired for a job for $15 an hour and full benefits, he would have been willing to continue making house payments to help her out until she could get on her feet, but she turned down the job because she felt that daycare would be traumatic on the 10 month old baby. Then she called back and said she just bought a GPS navigation system for 200 bucks and could dad please put money in her account! I was floored. I have been in the situation of having a child alone and I never in my wildest dreams would have thought to have bought a “luxury” item, especially when it was not needed.

    I am also worried because she is so set on being able to give her infant daughter psychotic meds because she thinks that the child may need it in the future and does not want the father of this infant to have any say so. I just have this feeling like my husband is going behind my back and going to give her money the minute she starts crying. She refuses to accept any responsibility. She won’t get a job. She makes excuses, she is manipulative and she knows exactly what to say to get money from her dad. He doesn’t have a backbone where she’s concerned. When he tells her to do something, he says it in a manner that sounds more like he is afraid to get through to her she cannot carry on like this. He is afraid of losing her.

    She honestly believes that the salary my husband makes is her salary. She acts as though she has the same rights as a spouse. My husband and I have talked but I am having serious doubts that he will follow through.

    She calls him an a-hole and then turns around and talks about him dying and tells him that since he married me, if affects her inheritance. They sat at Thanksgiving Dinner and told their dad that he needed to go die basically. But he does not hear what his kids tell him or basically takes it as a joke. My kids have never told me to go die (maybe go to hell, but not die). Then she started in that the dishes that were given to him in his first wife’s marriage (she deceased) and that she wants them and is entitled to them. He bought many of the pieces to make it a complete set. We would likely have given them to her later, but she feels some direct and immediate entitlement to them.

    So today I heard her talking about my five year and making accusations that were not true and I just yelled at my husband who was ever so nicely telling her she was not being appropriate, I told her to take care of herself and her child and quit manipulating her father. He got mad at me because she hung up on him. I told him I did not care to hear anymore because all she does is talk. I am thinking I should get a job albeit it would be considerably less than what he could make, but I may end up having to leave because I am really having a hard time thinking I could live with this. I had not realized he is basically married to this child, who thinks she has entitlement.

    I have been through a lot of sad times, I have been through rough times. My parents were well off and did not offer me a “bail out” I went through college nursing a child and working. I did not get ammenities like a PC to type my papers I had to drive over an hour to get to a computer and usually had to stay up 3-4 days at a time during finals weeks. I don’t desire more money or “things” for myself. I can take care of myself. It’s the attitude of this girl and the way she treats her father that makes me infu

  156. Hi I’m a 31 year old stay at home Mom with my adorable 13 month old daughter. I’ve been with my husband 5 years and I want to make our marriage work.We really need counseling to fix this and for us to both be happy and have both our needs met. I’m having a hard time getting my point thru to him. He just thinks he’s right and I’m wrong. He doesn’t believe a relationship needs constant work and it needs to be treated with the utmost care or it falls apart. He just thinks it is what it is and we don’t need professional help. I love him dearly but I’m having a hard time seeing us for many more years together unless theres a change. It’s actually pretty little work on his part. So this is my last resort, I’m going to quickly write down the basic problems and I’m so confused at this point, I’m asking for validation for my feelings. If any of u were in my shoes would u feel the same way? And feel free to tell me I’m wrong, whatever needs done to save our family I’ll do it but to live with quiet anger and resentment is not healthy.

    There’s three main issues. One is He works 60 to 70 hours a week and plays hockey 3 to 4 times a week. So I don’t really see him that much and when I do he’s worn out and tired or hungry or just want’s to relax. I said once maybe you could not go to hockey tonight and he took that as me taking him away from his passion.Thats so far from the truth, I would never want or ask him to quit. Thats a major problem with us in general. he constantly misunderstands me and it turns into a fight really fast.and part of me thinks if he knew me at all he wouldn’t misunderstand me so much. How can me wanting him to spend time with me turn into what I don’t even know because we have never ever talked thru and resolved a conflict. When we fight I feel like my big strong man turns into a child! Theres insults and back and forth and then he gets really vicious with his words and goes too far and hurts me. I end up with a stabbing pain in my heart that his little sentence that ended the fight will eventually end our marriage. i walk away, we stop fighting, it’s never cleared up or resolved because I guess we don’t know how. ( Hence why we need counseling) But if I were to go tell him that right now THAT would turn into a fight of why am I trying to ruin his day. The way he misunderstands me hurts as much as his deep comments. Because theres no reason for it, I’m so good to him. I’m always considerate of him, always do you want something dear you need something dear?What can I do for you? I would love if he returned a quarter of how I treat him. I def shown him by example.

    He’s a great provider and very generous with me, because he does make all the money and he works hard for us. I do appeciate that sooo much of course I do. That allows me to raise our child.

    The Hockey I think shouldn’t be more than 2 days a week.What marriage is healthy when the husband works 5 days until evening then plays up to four days. Any more than 2 days is just neglect. Neglect to our home and us and our child. but again he doesn’t see it that way.

    I don’t understand. When I used to work I couldn’t wait to get home to see him, I wouldn’t actually make plans with a friend until I found out what he was doing first. But he’s the opposite he makes plans for himself and sometimes us then tells me about it. It infurriates me that he doesn’t check with me. He doesn’t know the reason why he has to tell me.

    I do all the cooking and cleaning and housework and In five years he’s never done a load of launry or picked his clothes up or cleaned a dish or watched our daughter for more than an hour. And Ok there’s the argument that that’s my job and he does his job but I said to him my job is 24/7. I never get a break. Can u offer to watch our daughter for a couple hours Once? Or offer to change her or bathe her or play with her. He loves her so much I know he does really so why do I have to force him to do these things. And when he does do them because I’ve made him he acts helpless and he can’t handle it and saying oh she wants her Mommy she needs you, oh my back hurts take her. And he want’s more kids! If the father works really hard doesn’t he still owe a minimum amount of just bonding with his kid? I feel like our relationship has morphed into a 50’s the woman does this and the Man does this. I feel like a single Mom most days. We need help, what can I do? what can I say to get him to understand?

  157. This is imporatant to me, please read :S

    my fiancee is such a stubborn guy, lovely, nice, devoted…but stubborn like…wow. He had a DWI and crashed his car like 3 years ago. Since then, he got a job, lost a job (cause it was a disreputable work place) and he has gone to court, which bumped DOWN his color for drug testing to once a month, instead of twice. If cooperative, he goes on unsupervised probation march 31. Well, he lost his job. He wouldnt call his PO nor call to see if his color was up. Everytime I asked him to call to see he would say “damnit, I know sarah! quit hounding me, I will do it. Quit pushing me, I hate that ” and he never does, the more I ask, the more pissed off he gets at me. I asked him to use my aunts phone and he was like “No, cause then they will never shut up” or he says” you know we can’t afford it, its 100$ at the hospital to get a drug test”. I try and get him off his butt to do something towards getting out of a rut and he just sits there and rather pretends it is not real..and when I tell him it wont go away he grits his teeth and scoffs going “ugh…I KNOW SARAH…shut up..” then he has this tendency to point the finger at me about being a messy person or something so I don’t have a halo around my head in that argument. Well, he had a warrant out cause of missed tests, turned himself in, went in front of a judge in a orange jumpsuit and shackles trying to reason and tell the judge he didn’t have a phone to contact nor money to do the tests, offered to be on a more frequent color rather than the 2 weeks jail time. Judge told him “well, couldnt you have used a pay phone, or mail a letter to your probation officer” he pauses five seconds and goes “well, I guess” then the judge says ” There is no legitamate reason why you failed to contact your PO for over…4 months.. So I am going to give you the 15 days cause I don’t think you would learn otherwise.” His mom was crying, was it bad that I was smiling???? I was mad, and equally like ” yeah, thats what you get for being stubborn ‘have it your way’ ” Anyway, when he gets out, if you were me, would you welcome him with open arms and a present (his Bday is Vday) or be pissed off….what would you do?

  158. i am nearly blinde, not completely but nearly. i just went to my gonna be high school to take the placement testing with all the other eighth graders. sinc e i am nearly blinde, my braille teacher signed me up to get a large print test booklit, no big deal right? well they all turned it into something bigger than it was, very insulting. so i had to go and tell some lady that i needed a large print test booklit, so i said “i’ve been signed up to use a large print test booklit”
    the lady goes. “you mean you need special accomidations.”
    “no, just a large print test booklit.”
    “no that would be considered special accomidations, come with me” she made me stand off to the side, with all the kids in special ed, and yes, i am in special ed, but TO READ BRAILLE not becuase i can’t comprehend the stuff they through at me, i am in all the gifted classes, and i’m planning on being advanced placement, in everything in high school.
    so i am standing their with all the support kids, and i ask “am i going to be in the room i was assigned too?” because that was really important to me, not to be seperated from my friend, who i was getting a ride home with, (we have the same last initial, so we were in the same room)
    and she said “we’ll see”
    she looked for my name on her list, and couldn’t find it, i told her “thats because i am not supposed to be here, i am supposed to be in s229.”
    she goes in a high pitched talking slow, almost parent ease voice “don’t worry, we’ll get you tested, just sit down iin here.”
    “but i am not supposed to be in here.”
    “yeah, i know, we’ll figure it out” same voice.
    then they would not let me fill out the forms myself, there was one wehre we were supposed to mark in all our grades this year in our classes, i told the lady that i get a’s in everything. and she was all “good job, you must be smart” then they asked if we were in excelerated classes, she almost filled in no, before i told her that i was in excelerated classes. they locked me in a room, with the lady, to mark the answers for me. that is what they do for the all blind kids, i told them over and over again, that i don’t need that, i can see. really i can. but nope, it was really offending, how they forced me to do this stuff. so i answer the first test, and the lady, makes me give her a high five, and she tells me “good job,” in the high pitched parent ease voice, and i give her a weak, please don’t talk to me in that tone, voice. this happened three more times with the three tests, and by this time, i was feeling very offended that they assumed that i was not smart enough to be in excelerated, and that i was in the room for other reasons, by the time i was in sixth grade, i was making accomadations for myself by myself, that they trained me to do in grade school, so all of this was really offending.
    then i finished, the science portion, and she said, “congradulations, your done, you can go home now.” i look at her like she’s the one who’s being treated meantly ill, and say, “no, i am staying for the writing portion” which is what you have to stay for to get into AP writing, which of coarse is very important to me, they just assumed i wasn’t going to take it, they didn’t even offer it to me. which is offending, but then the other lady, that made come in there at all, said to me, “you know, you don’t have to take it.” in the parent ease voice
    i say, “i know, but i want to be in A P English.” and she rolls her eyes at me and says, “if you want too.” in a ‘waisting your time’ kind of way.
    so i take this test and get out of their, and she asks me if i wanted to use the schools phone to call my mom, now i know, from talking to the special ed kids, (lots of them are friends of mine, out of coincidence) and they have hard families, lots of them don’t even have mothers, and i think she shouldn’t have said that, i nearly said, “no, i can’t call her, she’s dead.” but i didn’t because i don’t have the guts, so i walked out of there, feeling really angry that people would treat me like that, slump me with the support kids. my dad said i should have protested against taking the test, he said that might even cause me to get a lower test grade, my mom thinks that she will call some poeple and figure out who did it, so that she can get them in trouble for discrimination, lots of people do things like that to me, and usually, i can just move right past it, but this time,. its really burning. what do you think i should do? nothing rude please.
    i don’t have a 504, but i do have an iep, and they just call it special ed just the same, becuase my braille teacher works for a company run by special ed, and that doesn’t really help me with discrimination, or high school placement testing.
    I have all the things that you list, and i do know about my terrible spelling, S just one of those regular problems i have to work on, and it doesn’t help that i type faster than i should (about 80 wpm ranther than 50 wpm) and i have a really old keyboard, about as old as me, but thanks for reminding me, and being considerate, but in future, i read bad spelling better than anyone, because, i use it.

  159. my fiancee is such a stubborn guy, lovely, nice, devoted…but stubborn like…wow. He had a DWI and crashed his car like 3 years ago. Since then, he got a job, lost a job (cause it was a disreputable work place) and he has gone to court, which bumped DOWN his color for drug testing to once a month, instead of twice. If cooperative, he goes on unsupervised probation march 31. Well, he lost his job. He wouldnt call his PO nor call to see if his color was up. Everytime I asked him to call to see he would say “damnit, I know sarah! quit hounding me, I will do it. Quit pushing me, I hate that ” and he never does, the more I ask, the more pissed off he gets at me. I asked him to use my aunts phone and he was like “No, cause then they will never shut up” or he says” you know we can’t afford it, its 100$ at the hospital to get a drug test”. I try and get him off his butt to do something towards getting out of a rut and he just sits there and rather pretends it is not real..and when I tell him it wont go away he grits his teeth and scoffs going “ugh…I KNOW SARAH…shut up..” then he has this tendency to point the finger at me about being a messy person or something so I don’t have a halo around my head in that argument. Well, he had a warrant out cause of missed tests, turned himself in, went in front of a judge in a orange jumpsuit and shackles trying to reason and tell the judge he didn’t have a phone to contact nor money to do the tests, offered to be on a more frequent color rather than the 2 weeks jail time. Judge told him “well, couldnt you have used a pay phone, or mail a letter to your probation officer” he pauses five seconds and goes “well, I guess” then the judge says ” There is no legitamate reason why you failed to contact your PO for over…4 months.. So I am going to give you the 15 days cause I don’t think you would learn otherwise.” His mom was crying, was it bad that I was smiling???? I was mad, and equally like ” yeah, thats what you get for being stubborn ‘have it your way’ ” Anyway, when he gets out, if you were me, would you welcome him with open arms and a present (his Bday is Vday) or be pissed off….what would you do?

  160. i am nearly blinde, not completely but nearly. i just went to my gonna be high school to take the placement testing with all the other eighth graders. sinc e i am nearly blinde, my braille teacher signed me up to get a large print test booklit, no big deal right? well they all turned it into something bigger than it was, very insulting. so i had to go and tell some lady that i needed a large print test booklit, so i said “i’ve been signed up to use a large print test booklit”
    the lady goes. “you mean you need special accomidations.”
    “no, just a large print test booklit.”
    “no that would be considered special accomidations, come with me” she made me stand off to the side, with all the kids in special ed, and yes, i am in special ed, but TO READ BRAILLE not becuase i can’t comprehend the stuff they through at me, i am in all the gifted classes, and i’m planning on being advanced placement, in everything in high school.
    so i am standing their with all the support kids, and i ask “am i going to be in the room i was assigned too?” because that was really important to me, not to be seperated from my friend, who i was getting a ride home with, (we have the same last initial, so we were in the same room)
    and she said “we’ll see”
    she looked for my name on her list, and couldn’t find it, i told her “thats because i am not supposed to be here, i am supposed to be in s229.”
    she goes in a high pitched talking slow, almost parent ease voice “don’t worry, we’ll get you tested, just sit down iin here.”
    “but i am not supposed to be in here.”
    “yeah, i know, we’ll figure it out” same voice.
    then they would not let me fill out the forms myself, there was one wehre we were supposed to mark in all our grades this year in our classes, i told the lady that i get a’s in everything. and she was all “good job, you must be smart” then they asked if we were in excelerated classes, she almost filled in no, before i told her that i was in excelerated classes. they locked me in a room, with the lady, to mark the answers for me. that is what they do for the all blind kids, i told them over and over again, that i don’t need that, i can see. really i can. but nope, it was really offending, how they forced me to do this stuff. so i answer the first test, and the lady, makes me give her a high five, and she tells me “good job,” in the high pitched parent ease voice, and i give her a weak, please don’t talk to me in that tone, voice. this happened three more times with the three tests, and by this time, i was feeling very offended that they assumed that i was not smart enough to be in excelerated, and that i was in the room for other reasons, by the time i was in sixth grade, i was making accomadations for myself by myself, that they trained me to do in grade school, so all of this was really offending.
    then i finished, the science portion, and she said, “congradulations, your done, you can go home now.” i look at her like she’s the one who’s being treated meantly ill, and say, “no, i am staying for the writing portion” which is what you have to stay for to get into AP writing, which of coarse is very important to me, they just assumed i wasn’t going to take it, they didn’t even offer it to me. which is offending, but then the other lady, that made come in there at all, said to me, “you know, you don’t have to take it.” in the parent ease voice
    i say, “i know, but i want to be in A P English.” and she rolls her eyes at me and says, “if you want too.” in a ‘waisting your time’ kind of way.
    so i take this test and get out of their, and she asks me if i wanted to use the schools phone to call my mom, now i know, from talking to the special ed kids, (lots of them are friends of mine, out of coincidence) and they have hard families, lots of them don’t even have mothers, and i think she shouldn’t have said that, i nearly said, “no, i can’t call her, she’s dead.” but i didn’t because i don’t have the guts, so i walked out of there, feeling really angry that people would treat me like that, slump me with the support kids. my dad said i should have protested against taking the test, he said that might even cause me to get a lower test grade, my mom thinks that she will call some poeple and figure out who did it, so that she can get them in trouble for discrimination, lots of people do things like that to me, and usually, i can just move right past it, but this time,. its really burning. what do you think i should do? nothing rude please.
    i don’t have a 504, but i do have an iep, and they just call it special ed just the same, becuase my braille teacher works for a company run by special ed, and that doesn’t really help me with discrimination, or high school placement testing.
    I have all the things that you list, and i do know about my terrible spelling, S just one of those regular problems i have to work on, and it doesn’t help that i type faster than i should (about 80 wpm ranther than 50 wpm) and i have a really old keyboard, about as old as me, but thanks for reminding me, and being considerate, but in future, i read bad spelling better than anyone, because, i use it.

  161. my fiancee is such a stubborn guy, lovely, nice, devoted…but stubborn like…wow. He had a DWI and crashed his car like 3 years ago. Since then, he got a job, lost a job (cause it was a disreputable work place) and he has gone to court, which bumped DOWN his color for drug testing to once a month, instead of twice. If cooperative, he goes on unsupervised probation march 31. Well, he lost his job. He wouldnt call his PO nor call to see if his color was up. Everytime I asked him to call to see he would say “damnit, I know sarah! quit hounding me, I will do it. Quit pushing me, I hate that ” and he never does, the more I ask, the more pissed off he gets at me. I asked him to use my aunts phone and he was like “No, cause then they will never shut up” or he says” you know we can’t afford it, its 100$ at the hospital to get a drug test”. I try and get him off his butt to do something towards getting out of a rut and he just sits there and rather pretends it is not real..and when I tell him it wont go away he grits his teeth and scoffs going “ugh…I KNOW SARAH…shut up..” then he has this tendency to point the finger at me about being a messy person or something so I don’t have a halo around my head in that argument. Well, he had a warrant out cause of missed tests, turned himself in, went in front of a judge in a orange jumpsuit and shackles trying to reason and tell the judge he didn’t have a phone to contact nor money to do the tests, offered to be on a more frequent color rather than the 2 weeks jail time. Judge told him “well, couldnt you have used a pay phone, or mail a letter to your probation officer” he pauses five seconds and goes “well, I guess” then the judge says ” There is no legitamate reason why you failed to contact your PO for over…4 months.. So I am going to give you the 15 days cause I don’t think you would learn otherwise.” His mom was crying, was it bad that I was smiling???? I was mad, and equally like ” yeah, thats what you get for being stubborn ‘have it your way’ ” Anyway, when he gets out, if you were me, would you welcome him with open arms and a present (his Bday is Vday) or be pissed off….what would you do?

  162. I know this is long but if you’re a reg, TC or professional, please consider reading this even if you don’t want to respond. I honestly don’t know what to do with myself. Many regs here know that I state that I am a qualified mental health practitioner. That is true – I would never lie about a qualification I do not have or pretend to be somebody I am not.

    I do not currently work in mental health because of a traumatic even 12 months ago. I was set-up by an angry ex-partner when I found out he was having an affair and threatened to tell his ‘other woman’.

    In order to stop me, he got me sectioned. Very easy for him to do as he was a police sergeant. It took one call and I was dragged off for no reason. He told them I was about to commit suicide. I was not. He just wanted me out of the way to buy himself time to protect himself.

    I was treated ok by the police, but horrendously by hospital staff including members of the crisis team and ward staff. My level of distress grew tenfold every day because they kept tricking me over and over, saying I only needed to stay one night then I could go, Three days later they were still holding me. I was crying and begging to be freed but they told me I could not go. The section had been lifted before I even got to hospital for assessment (yes, really!). They had no holding powers on me and they kept telling me I was there voluntarily. I was not. To this day in my notes it says I was there on a voluntary basis yet I tried everything to try to get out.

    They had told me I was not able to see a psychiatrist for another 12 days as they only visited the ward every 2 weeks. Being a mental health practitioner, I knew this was rubbish and knew my legal rights and so I called a solicitor. She visited the ward twice and told the staff they were holding me illegally. She told them they must either let me go or section me. On both occasions, the staff told her they would call a psychiatrist and get them to assess me that same day with a view to allowing me to go home, The solicitor would leave the ward, and the staff would NOT call a psychiatrist to come and talk to me, In fact they did nothing but lie and abuse me. I did not eat one single thing for five days and had less than two tiny cups of water each day. In fact it was only after I left that I realised that at no point did they offer me food. I was exhausted, weak, angry and actually began to feel genuinely suicidal over the captivity and deceit. I looked for ways to end my life and found none. I could not believe what was happening to me – as if finding out the man I’d been with for two years had been cheating the whole time, not ON me with WITH ME. I was his ‘other woman’ but neither his partner nor myself had any inkling. He lived a double life that whole time and now I was having to face this trauma which went against EVERYTHING I’d been taught at university and every instict I had.

    After several days, I actually escaped from the psychiatric ward. I cannot tell you how because I do not want to give vulnerable people who NEED to be in hospital ideas on how to get out, but escape I did, and I jumped on the first bus I saw and fled to a train station and got many miles away. I hid there for two weeks, staying each night in a different hotel, paying for everything with cash so I could not be traced via bank statements.

    On three occasions I was returning to the hotels for the night after a day quite literally on the run and found police cars parked outside. I ran and hid until they left, convinced they had tracked me down and were waiting to transport me back to Hell behind locked doors.

    Eventually I returned home. The police turned up several minutes after I returned. It was a dumb cop probably too delirious from doughnut munching to care about his job. He found me eventually, hiding in my wardrobe. He didn’t even know the circumstances or that I was supposed to be in hospital. In fact he knew nothing except one of the neighbours had called the police after seeing me return. The police had apparently asked the neighbours to call 999 if any of them saw me, and one of them had. He didn’t know why he’d been sent. Somehow I managed to blag my way out of it and he left, clueless.

    Since then, I have had the biggest hatred for mental health services like you wouldn’t believe. My anger boils constantly because they have taken away my career – I can no longer work with other MH professionals because I trust NONE. My answers here on Yahoo Answers are my only way of exercising what I have learnt and my urge to help and advise others is as strong as it ever was.

    I feel traumatised by my experience. I will never and can never work with mental health services again, either as a patient or professional. My instinct to keep every tiny aspect of my life incredibly private is so strong that I barely talk to anybody now.

    What do I do? Please don’t suggest counse
    Sorry – counselling or anything to do with mental health. I am scared, angry and lost.
    DD, I’ll try to answer with not many characters!

    In the UK a psychiatrist MUST assess patient before discharge even if they are there voluntarily. Nobody can just walk out at any time. Legally if a vol. patient asks to leave, they need to call a psych during the day and ask them to come and eval with a view to discharge. Staff said they would call one, but then refused to do so. The solicitor would have been breaking the law trying to get me out without an eval.

    The unit was locked & staff on the door 24/7. I could not just walk out. Bars on windows, that kind of thing.

    I would have refused food regardless. I had not taken anything prior to admission & they do blood tests to check this. No meds/drugs/alcohol in system. ‘Inmates’ flocked to kitchen area at mealtimes but I was never called for a meal or told I had to eat. Nobody offered to bring toast to my room, for example. I refused to eat/sit with patients as I would be seen to be complying with their abuse & I was not a patient a
    I was not a patient and did not want a reputation of being amongst the others patients (I would not socialise in case of of them knew me!)

    Cannot go back and ‘get records’. Here you have to apply to see medical records and they only give you the very basic stuff that they don’t mind you reading. No way would info in there from that lock up be released to me.

    After I left I was hiding because I had escaped from a locked psychiatric ward. The police kept calling my mobile and leaving messages asking me to go back or meet them anywhere I wanted. I was on ‘red alert’ – what the cops call ‘high risk missing’ partly due to the state I was in when I left and partly due to absconding. It means police were out looking for me and could 136 me in the street and take me back if they found me (sectioning in a public place). I was not scared by the cop/ex. I knew he wouldn’t hurt me – we are not talking domestic violence. It’s abuse of power but he never ever physically hurt me in any way.
    DD, I’ll try to answer with not many characters!

    In the UK a psychiatrist MUST assess patient before discharge even if they are there voluntarily. Nobody can just walk out at any time. Legally if a vol. patient asks to leave, they need to call a psych during the day and ask them to come and eval with a view to discharge. Staff said they would call one, but then refused to do so. The solicitor would have been breaking the law trying to get me out without an eval.

    The unit was locked & staff on the door 24/7. I could not just walk out. Bars on windows, that kind of thing.

    I would have refused food regardless. I had not taken anything prior to admission & they do blood tests to check this. No meds/drugs/alcohol in system. ‘Inmates’ flocked to kitchen area at mealtimes but I was never called for a meal or told I had to eat. Nobody offered to bring toast to my room, for example. I refused to eat/sit with patients as I would be seen to be complying with their abuse & I was not a patient a

  163. my fiancee is such a stubborn guy, lovely, nice, devoted…but stubborn like…wow. He had a DWI and crashed his car like 3 years ago. Since then, he got a job, lost a job (cause it was a disreputable work place) and he has gone to court, which bumped DOWN his color for drug testing to once a month, instead of twice. If cooperative, he goes on unsupervised probation march 31. Well, he lost his job. He wouldnt call his PO nor call to see if his color was up. Everytime I asked him to call to see he would say “damnit, I know sarah! quit hounding me, I will do it. Quit pushing me, I hate that ” and he never does, the more I ask, the more pissed off he gets at me. I asked him to use my aunts phone and he was like “No, cause then they will never shut up” or he says” you know we can’t afford it, its 100$ at the hospital to get a drug test”. I try and get him off his butt to do something towards getting out of a rut and he just sits there and rather pretends it is not real..and when I tell him it wont go away he grits his teeth and scoffs going “ugh…I KNOW SARAH…shut up..” then he has this tendency to point the finger at me about being a messy person or something so I don’t have a halo around my head in that argument. Well, he had a warrant out cause of missed tests, turned himself in, went in front of a judge in a orange jumpsuit and shackles trying to reason and tell the judge he didn’t have a phone to contact nor money to do the tests, offered to be on a more frequent color rather than the 2 weeks jail time. Judge told him “well, couldnt you have used a pay phone, or mail a letter to your probation officer” he pauses five seconds and goes “well, I guess” then the judge says ” There is no legitamate reason why you failed to contact your PO for over…4 months.. So I am going to give you the 15 days cause I don’t think you would learn otherwise.” His mom was crying, was it bad that I was smiling???? I was mad, and equally like ” yeah, thats what you get for being stubborn ‘have it your way’ ” Anyway, when he gets out, if you were me, would you welcome him with open arms and a present (his Bday is Vday) or be pissed off….what would you do?
    ……umm..Can’t never did anything….

  164. I met a girl on a matchmaking service as I could use a diversion for my time while overseas as a deployed soldier in Iraq. She and I spoke for six months online before I was able to come home and finally meet her. We talked about everything- including past relationships. She mentioned how she had lived with an older guy for three years when she turned 18, but that she broke it off because she thought he had cheated on her, he didn’t treat her well, and he wasn’t willing to settle down and marry her. Once we met, she and I fell in love and everything was great for the first several months of our relationship- I even moved in with her after leaving the Army.

    She introduced me to many of her friends, one of them a guy who we will call Rick. Rick was very nice to me, always buying me drinks, and he even offered me a job if I wanted it as I had just left the service. My GF had started a restaurant, and Rick’s contracting company did the majority of the work on the building because she had asked him to do it. Rick even had an office upstairs in the building for his contracting company- right next to my GF’s. When my GFs restaurant opened its doors, my GF hired Rick’s sister to be his bookkeeper- and I was also introduced by my GF to Rick’s entire family when they came in for dinner (which was fairly often). Rick helped bartend for the opening night of the restaurant. My GF was best friends with Rick’s brother’s wife, and my GF would always run to Rick when there were problems with the restaurant. There were several times when I found them upstairs together- alone, talking about things with the door closed. I had my suspicions, so I asked my GF how she got to know Rick- and she said he was just a friend she had known through her best friend (the one who was married to Rick’s brother).

    It wasn’t until we had been actually dating for six months (but talking for over a year) that I discovered the truth about my GF and Rick, just by casual conversation when someone told me he had given her a cheap rate on the construction for the restaurant because they had dated in the past. As I’m sure you know by now, Rick was the guy my GF had lived with for three years. I confronted her about it, and her response was that yes, they had lived together and dated, but that things between them were over. I told her I didn’t want her to talk to him anymore- but it was an impossible request. His sister worked for her, he had a contract for the office upstairs (so he would almost be guaranteed to see her every day for the next two years) and her best friend was married to his brother, so it would be hard for her to see her best friend without occasionally seeing him as well.

    I started snooping around to satisfy my curiosity. Even though it had been a couple years since they dated, she still had BOXES of photos of them together on beaches in Mexico and Jamaica- a place she and I were planning to go. She had an “I Love You” video she made for him still on her computer. There were no photos of any other person she dated- just pictures of those two together. When I confronted her about this, she did throw the pictures away, but only after I told her about them.

    My GF reassured me that there was nothing going on, and I believed her. Rick told me the same thing when he found out I knew. I don’t think she wants to date him, but I think that for whatever reason she likes having him around. It has been five months since I learned of this, and I still can’t get over it- how inconsiderate she was to put me in this situation, how she deceived me by lying about it/not telling me about it (which I think is a HUGE deal), and how I never would have moved in with her if I had known the truth beforehand.

    Am I crazy to think that most people would want to leave their past behind instead of seeing it walk through the door everyday?

    I care about this girl, but this has been tearing me apart for five months and I don’t know how to get over it. I feel like if I had known about it sooner, I could’ve gotten over it- but the fact that she lied about it for so many months makes me not trust her. And here’s the kicker- before all this came out, she told me when she was younger she had an abortion- from someone else. She could tell me that (which I think is a MUCH bigger secret) but she didn’t want to tell me about Rick- doesn’t that sound fishy? I find myself looking for excuses to make her feel bad about dating him and lying about it- which I know is never a good sign.

    Any advice is welcome.

    Thanks.
    Now that I know this guy- and I’ve learned even more about his scumbaggery since first meeting him- it makes me wonder what kind of taste my GF had in men before meeting me…. It makes me feel like I could do better…especially since now I wonder what else she’s hiding from me (because I don’t feel like I can really trust her).

  165. my fiancee is such a stubborn guy, lovely, nice, devoted…but stubborn like…wow. He had a DWI and crashed his car like 3 years ago. Since then, he got a job, lost a job (cause it was a disreputable work place) and he has gone to court, which bumped DOWN his color for drug testing to once a month, instead of twice. If cooperative, he goes on unsupervised probation march 31. Well, he lost his job. He wouldnt call his PO nor call to see if his color was up. Everytime I asked him to call to see he would say “damnit, I know sarah! quit hounding me, I will do it. Quit pushing me, I hate that ” and he never does, the more I ask, the more pissed off he gets at me. I asked him to use my aunts phone and he was like “No, cause then they will never shut up” or he says” you know we can’t afford it, its 100$ at the hospital to get a drug test”. I try and get him off his butt to do something towards getting out of a rut and he just sits there and rather pretends it is not real..and when I tell him it wont go away he grits his teeth and scoffs going “ugh…I KNOW SARAH…shut up..” then he has this tendency to point the finger at me about being a messy person or something so I don’t have a halo around my head in that argument. Well, he had a warrant out cause of missed tests, turned himself in, went in front of a judge in a orange jumpsuit and shackles trying to reason and tell the judge he didn’t have a phone to contact nor money to do the tests, offered to be on a more frequent color rather than the 2 weeks jail time. Judge told him “well, couldnt you have used a pay phone, or mail a letter to your probation officer” he pauses five seconds and goes “well, I guess” then the judge says ” There is no legitamate reason why you failed to contact your PO for over…4 months.. So I am going to give you the 15 days cause I don’t think you would learn otherwise.” His mom was crying, was it bad that I was smiling???? I was mad, and equally like ” yeah, thats what you get for being stubborn ‘have it your way’ ” Anyway, when he gets out, if you were me, would you welcome him with open arms and a present (his Bday is Vday) or be pissed off….what would you do?
    ……umm..Can’t never did anything….

  166. my fiancee is such a stubborn guy, lovely, nice, devoted…but stubborn like…wow. He had a DWI and crashed his car like 3 years ago. Since then, he got a job, lost a job (cause it was a disreputable work place) and he has gone to court, which bumped DOWN his color for drug testing to once a month, instead of twice. If cooperative, he goes on unsupervised probation march 31. Well, he lost his job. He wouldnt call his PO nor call to see if his color was up. Everytime I asked him to call to see he would say “damnit, I know sarah! quit hounding me, I will do it. Quit pushing me, I hate that ” and he never does, the more I ask, the more pissed off he gets at me. I asked him to use my aunts phone and he was like “No, cause then they will never shut up” or he says” you know we can’t afford it, its 100$ at the hospital to get a drug test”. I try and get him off his butt to do something towards getting out of a rut and he just sits there and rather pretends it is not real..and when I tell him it wont go away he grits his teeth and scoffs going “ugh…I KNOW SARAH…shut up..” then he has this tendency to point the finger at me about being a messy person or something so I don’t have a halo around my head in that argument. Well, he had a warrant out cause of missed tests, turned himself in, went in front of a judge in a orange jumpsuit and shackles trying to reason and tell the judge he didn’t have a phone to contact nor money to do the tests, offered to be on a more frequent color rather than the 2 weeks jail time. Judge told him “well, couldnt you have used a pay phone, or mail a letter to your probation officer” he pauses five seconds and goes “well, I guess” then the judge says ” There is no legitamate reason why you failed to contact your PO for over…4 months.. So I am going to give you the 15 days cause I don’t think you would learn otherwise.” His mom was crying, was it bad that I was smiling???? I was mad, and equally like ” yeah, thats what you get for being stubborn ‘have it your way’ ” Anyway, when he gets out, if you were me, would you welcome him with open arms and a present (his Bday is Vday) or be pissed off….what would you do?

  167. i am nearly blinde, not completely but nearly. i just went to my gonna be high school to take the placement testing with all the other eighth graders. sinc e i am nearly blinde, my braille teacher signed me up to get a large print test booklit, no big deal right? well they all turned it into something bigger than it was, very insulting. so i had to go and tell some lady that i needed a large print test booklit, so i said “i’ve been signed up to use a large print test booklit”
    the lady goes. “you mean you need special accomidations.”
    “no, just a large print test booklit.”
    “no that would be considered special accomidations, come with me” she made me stand off to the side, with all the kids in special ed, and yes, i am in special ed, but TO READ BRAILLE not becuase i can’t comprehend the stuff they through at me, i am in all the gifted classes, and i’m planning on being advanced placement, in everything in high school.
    so i am standing their with all the support kids, and i ask “am i going to be in the room i was assigned too?” because that was really important to me, not to be seperated from my friend, who i was getting a ride home with, (we have the same last initial, so we were in the same room)
    and she said “we’ll see”
    she looked for my name on her list, and couldn’t find it, i told her “thats because i am not supposed to be here, i am supposed to be in s229.”
    she goes in a high pitched talking slow, almost parent ease voice “don’t worry, we’ll get you tested, just sit down iin here.”
    “but i am not supposed to be in here.”
    “yeah, i know, we’ll figure it out” same voice.
    then they would not let me fill out the forms myself, there was one wehre we were supposed to mark in all our grades this year in our classes, i told the lady that i get a’s in everything. and she was all “good job, you must be smart” then they asked if we were in excelerated classes, she almost filled in no, before i told her that i was in excelerated classes. they locked me in a room, with the lady, to mark the answers for me. that is what they do for the all blind kids, i told them over and over again, that i don’t need that, i can see. really i can. but nope, it was really offending, how they forced me to do this stuff. so i answer the first test, and the lady, makes me give her a high five, and she tells me “good job,” in the high pitched parent ease voice, and i give her a weak, please don’t talk to me in that tone, voice. this happened three more times with the three tests, and by this time, i was feeling very offended that they assumed that i was not smart enough to be in excelerated, and that i was in the room for other reasons, by the time i was in sixth grade, i was making accomadations for myself by myself, that they trained me to do in grade school, so all of this was really offending.
    then i finished, the science portion, and she said, “congradulations, your done, you can go home now.” i look at her like she’s the one who’s being treated meantly ill, and say, “no, i am staying for the writing portion” which is what you have to stay for to get into AP writing, which of coarse is very important to me, they just assumed i wasn’t going to take it, they didn’t even offer it to me. which is offending, but then the other lady, that made come in there at all, said to me, “you know, you don’t have to take it.” in the parent ease voice
    i say, “i know, but i want to be in A P English.” and she rolls her eyes at me and says, “if you want too.” in a ‘waisting your time’ kind of way.
    so i take this test and get out of their, and she asks me if i wanted to use the schools phone to call my mom, now i know, from talking to the special ed kids, (lots of them are friends of mine, out of coincidence) and they have hard families, lots of them don’t even have mothers, and i think she shouldn’t have said that, i nearly said, “no, i can’t call her, she’s dead.” but i didn’t because i don’t have the guts, so i walked out of there, feeling really angry that people would treat me like that, slump me with the support kids. my dad said i should have protested against taking the test, he said that might even cause me to get a lower test grade, my mom thinks that she will call some poeple and figure out who did it, so that she can get them in trouble for discrimination, lots of people do things like that to me, and usually, i can just move right past it, but this time,. its really burning. what do you think i should do? nothing rude please.
    i don’t have a 504, but i do have an iep, and they just call it special ed just the same, becuase my braille teacher works for a company run by special ed, and that doesn’t really help me with discrimination, or high school placement testing.
    I have all the things that you list, and i do know about my terrible spelling, S just one of those regular problems i have to work on, and it doesn’t help that i type faster than i should (about 80 wpm ranther than 50 wpm) and i have a really old keyboard, about as old as me, but thanks for reminding me, and being considerate, but in future, i read bad spelling better than anyone, because, i use it.

  168. i am nearly blinde, not completely but nearly. i just went to my gonna be high school to take the placement testing with all the other eighth graders. sinc e i am nearly blinde, my braille teacher signed me up to get a large print test booklit, no big deal right? well they all turned it into something bigger than it was, very insulting. so i had to go and tell some lady that i needed a large print test booklit, so i said “i’ve been signed up to use a large print test booklit”
    the lady goes. “you mean you need special accomidations.”
    “no, just a large print test booklit.”
    “no that would be considered special accomidations, come with me” she made me stand off to the side, with all the kids in special ed, and yes, i am in special ed, but TO READ BRAILLE not becuase i can’t comprehend the stuff they through at me, i am in all the gifted classes, and i’m planning on being advanced placement, in everything in high school.
    so i am standing their with all the support kids, and i ask “am i going to be in the room i was assigned too?” because that was really important to me, not to be seperated from my friend, who i was getting a ride home with, (we have the same last initial, so we were in the same room)
    and she said “we’ll see”
    she looked for my name on her list, and couldn’t find it, i told her “thats because i am not supposed to be here, i am supposed to be in s229.”
    she goes in a high pitched talking slow, almost parent ease voice “don’t worry, we’ll get you tested, just sit down iin here.”
    “but i am not supposed to be in here.”
    “yeah, i know, we’ll figure it out” same voice.
    then they would not let me fill out the forms myself, there was one wehre we were supposed to mark in all our grades this year in our classes, i told the lady that i get a’s in everything. and she was all “good job, you must be smart” then they asked if we were in excelerated classes, she almost filled in no, before i told her that i was in excelerated classes. they locked me in a room, with the lady, to mark the answers for me. that is what they do for the all blind kids, i told them over and over again, that i don’t need that, i can see. really i can. but nope, it was really offending, how they forced me to do this stuff. so i answer the first test, and the lady, makes me give her a high five, and she tells me “good job,” in the high pitched parent ease voice, and i give her a weak, please don’t talk to me in that tone, voice. this happened three more times with the three tests, and by this time, i was feeling very offended that they assumed that i was not smart enough to be in excelerated, and that i was in the room for other reasons, by the time i was in sixth grade, i was making accomadations for myself by myself, that they trained me to do in grade school, so all of this was really offending.
    then i finished, the science portion, and she said, “congradulations, your done, you can go home now.” i look at her like she’s the one who’s being treated meantly ill, and say, “no, i am staying for the writing portion” which is what you have to stay for to get into AP writing, which of coarse is very important to me, they just assumed i wasn’t going to take it, they didn’t even offer it to me. which is offending, but then the other lady, that made come in there at all, said to me, “you know, you don’t have to take it.” in the parent ease voice
    i say, “i know, but i want to be in A P English.” and she rolls her eyes at me and says, “if you want too.” in a ‘waisting your time’ kind of way.
    so i take this test and get out of their, and she asks me if i wanted to use the schools phone to call my mom, now i know, from talking to the special ed kids, (lots of them are friends of mine, out of coincidence) and they have hard families, lots of them don’t even have mothers, and i think she shouldn’t have said that, i nearly said, “no, i can’t call her, she’s dead.” but i didn’t because i don’t have the guts, so i walked out of there, feeling really angry that people would treat me like that, slump me with the support kids. my dad said i should have protested against taking the test, he said that might even cause me to get a lower test grade, my mom thinks that she will call some poeple and figure out who did it, so that she can get them in trouble for discrimination, lots of people do things like that to me, and usually, i can just move right past it, but this time,. its really burning. what do you think i should do? nothing rude please.
    i don’t have a 504, but i do have an iep, and they just call it special ed just the same, becuase my braille teacher works for a company run by special ed, and that doesn’t really help me with discrimination, or high school placement testing.
    I have all the things that you list, and i do know about my terrible spelling, S just one of those regular problems i have to work on, and it doesn’t help that i type faster than i should (about 80 wpm ranther than 50 wpm) and i have a really old keyboard, about as old as me, but thanks for reminding me, and being considerate, but in future, i read bad spelling better than anyone, because, i use it.

  169. I met a girl on a matchmaking service as I could use a diversion for my time while overseas as a deployed soldier in Iraq. She and I spoke for six months online before I was able to come home and finally meet her. We talked about everything- including past relationships. She mentioned how she had lived with an older guy for three years when she turned 18, but that she broke it off because she thought he had cheated on her, he didn’t treat her well, and he wasn’t willing to settle down and marry her. Once we met, she and I fell in love and everything was great for the first several months of our relationship- I even moved in with her after leaving the Army.

    She introduced me to many of her friends, one of them a guy who we will call Rick. Rick was very nice to me, always buying me drinks, and he even offered me a job if I wanted it as I had just left the service. My GF had started a restaurant, and Rick’s contracting company did the majority of the work on the building because she had asked him to do it. Rick even had an office upstairs in the building for his contracting company- right next to my GF’s. When my GFs restaurant opened its doors, my GF hired Rick’s sister to be his bookkeeper- and I was also introduced by my GF to Rick’s entire family when they came in for dinner (which was fairly often). Rick helped bartend for the opening night of the restaurant. My GF was best friends with Rick’s brother’s wife, and my GF would always run to Rick when there were problems with the restaurant. There were several times when I found them upstairs together- alone, talking about things with the door closed. I had my suspicions, so I asked my GF how she got to know Rick- and she said he was just a friend she had known through her best friend (the one who was married to Rick’s brother).

    It wasn’t until we had been actually dating for six months (but talking for over a year) that I discovered the truth about my GF and Rick, just by casual conversation when someone told me he had given her a cheap rate on the construction for the restaurant because they had dated in the past. As I’m sure you know by now, Rick was the guy my GF had lived with for three years. I confronted her about it, and her response was that yes, they had lived together and dated, but that things between them were over. I told her I didn’t want her to talk to him anymore- but it was an impossible request. His sister worked for her, he had a contract for the office upstairs (so he would almost be guaranteed to see her every day for the next two years) and her best friend was married to his brother, so it would be hard for her to see her best friend without occasionally seeing him as well.

    I started snooping around to satisfy my curiosity. Even though it had been a couple years since they dated, she still had BOXES of photos of them together on beaches in Mexico and Jamaica- a place she and I were planning to go. She had an “I Love You” video she made for him still on her computer. There were no photos of any other person she dated- just pictures of those two together. When I confronted her about this, she did throw the pictures away, but only after I told her about them.

    My GF reassured me that there was nothing going on, and I believed her. Rick told me the same thing when he found out I knew. I don’t think she wants to date him, but I think that for whatever reason she likes having him around. It has been five months since I learned of this, and I still can’t get over it- how inconsiderate she was to put me in this situation, how she deceived me by lying about it/not telling me about it (which I think is a HUGE deal), and how I never would have moved in with her if I had known the truth beforehand.

    Am I crazy to think that most people would want to leave their past behind instead of seeing it walk through the door everyday?

    I care about this girl, but this has been tearing me apart for five months and I don’t know how to get over it. I feel like if I had known about it sooner, I could’ve gotten over it- but the fact that she lied about it for so many months makes me not trust her. And here’s the kicker- before all this came out, she told me when she was younger she had an abortion- from someone else. She could tell me that (which I think is a MUCH bigger secret) but she didn’t want to tell me about Rick- doesn’t that sound fishy? I find myself looking for excuses to make her feel bad about dating him and lying about it- which I know is never a good sign.

    Any advice is welcome.

    Thanks.
    Now that I know this guy- and I’ve learned even more about his scumbaggery since first meeting him- it makes me wonder what kind of taste my GF had in men before meeting me…. It makes me feel like I could do better…especially since now I wonder what else she’s hiding from me (because I don’t feel like I can really trust her).

  170. I did ask a similar question but it was only for the last 2-3 paragraphs and I think that people thought that it was the begining, well heres the whole thing at the moment. Lastly I know that to older people it may not apeal, but this is a story for teens etc, so that may be the reason why. I know my grammar isn’t perfect and I understand that.

    Preface

    My name is Chezney Wilson. I’m not some famous celebrity chased by the paparazzi that you see tend to always see nowadays. I’m not even some random wannabe that tags along with the largest crowds just to be noticed and appreciated. I don’t want to be any of those people. I just want to be a normal and regular guy, that tries to help others as much as he can. Who does his best to try and make the world just that little better. Well I thought that I was just a normal and regular guy, but as it turned out, there was more to me then even I knew.

    Chapter One

    A New Start

    Being a lonely child and having your parents split up is incredibly hard. First of all, your most likely going to be confused, hurt and scared as you have no idea for if it is your fathers fault, your mothers or maybe even yours. That’s immediately how I felt when my parents got divorced, and these were my exact feelings on the twenty sixth of may, two thousand and ten, five days before my eighteenth birthday, when I found myself sitting beside my Dad, Harry Wilson, in the front passenger seat of his shiny new black Porsche. My Dad is kind of rich; he had a big job in a hospital. Actually he was known as the best doctor in all Seattle which I think that this was the problem, that my Mom, didn’t think that my Dad spent enough time at home. However now that we had left Seattle; due to both his and my Mom’s, final decision. My Dad has been offered a new job as the chief doctor in Traverse City, Michigan. I don’t really pay any attention to the fact that my Dad earns a great deal of money each year, as cash isn’t really everything, its really all about what you want to do in life. That is why in the backseat, my bass guitar is safely lieing down on a few fully packed suitcases. Music is just one of the subjects that I fully enjoy, to me life without music is simply unbearable, I play guitar and sometimes only when I’m alone, I tend to sing a little. When school is involved, I’m not exactly the cleverest in my classes, I guess you can say that I’m an average B plus student. I put a lot of effort into my education as its important and a few good grades, can make nice decorations on the kitchen refrigerator.
    After a another slow two and a half hour drive, we soon started to arrive at the city’s entrance. Feeling extremely bored due to the lack of activity, I gazed into the small side view mirror and took a good look at my appearance, ready for when we finally got out of the car. As I swept my long and dark fringe away from my right eye, my hard, piercing and still a little upset, blue eye slowly blinked back in my direction. Apart from the clear signs of lack of sleep that had started to creep around the bottom of both of my eyes, they seemed to both looked perfectly fine.
    “That’s what you need, plenty of sleep,” remarked my Dad suddenly, still keeping his eyes on the busy road in front of us as we slowly came to a short bend. This remark sounded strange because apart from the quick, ‘Are you ready?’ he had asked before we had left, this was the first thing that he had said throughout the whole trip.
    “Maybe,” I muttered, not taking any notice of what he had just said. As I looked away from the side view mirror, I managed to catch a small glimpse of the city’s tall welcome sign, as it towered above us for just a quick a second. Feeling awkward, he slowly shuffled around in his seat and then took a quick sip of his strong smelling black coffee. Wanting to avoid this awkward moment, I looked out of my window and noticed that there were a lot of people and stores flashing by, then there had been around five minutes ago.
    As we gradually began to drive deeper into the city, it soon became to feel incredibly boring. For no apparent reason, I tightly closed my eyes and reopened them five minutes later, to find that we had just left the city and now started to pass the most beautiful looking beach that I had ever seen. As if the beach was somehow controlling me, I rolled down my window, allowing a gentle breeze to enter, so that I could see everything even more clearly. Everything about the beach looked amazing its golden sand as it glinted in the strong sun light and the clear deep blue water.
    “I knew that you would like this place,” Dad eagerly remarked, as he took a quick and hopeful look in my direction. Without answering, I knew inside that he was right, this place was extreme. “Kind of beautiful isn’t it?” he asked, as we stopped at a set of lights, to let a group of laughing teens, carrying surf boards, cross the road. Giving the beach one last look, I turned to look at Dad, as I

  171. Step daughter is 23 with a kid. She graduated college 18 mos ago. She had a baby, has never worked a day in her life. My husband has been paying for everything. He is now regretting it. It is debilitating her. She lives with the belief that she does not have to work and she can use anyone anyway she wants. My husband is likely going to be laid off. It dawned on me today that he basically treated her like his wife (without the spousal duties). He has 3 kids. He bought her a brand new car, a 1000 dollar great dane, designer everything, a condo, top notch furniture. all she has to do is well – nothing. He pays Cobra Insurance for her because she is a grown up and the insurance lapsed.

    She has been fighting custody over the baby with the father, but really all they (the father of the baby) want is standard visitation. She lives in another state and we have asked her to come home but she won’t because of one reason or another (including the father of the baby won’t allow it). We told her she could come live here, but who would want to leave a spacious condo with cherry hardwood floors to live in a crowded house, right? We offered that we could watch the baby while she works if she moves down here. She said no, she was going to go to graduate school.

    She wants the father of the baby not to have any rights whatsoever, so she wants about $10,000 to pay for a lawyer. My husband said he is no longer going to pay her way and that he agrees that he has been allowing her to live in a fantasy world and he wants to stop doing this.

    She was just hired for a job for $15 an hour and full benefits, he would have been willing to continue making house payments to help her out until she could get on her feet, but she turned down the job because she felt that daycare would be traumatic on the 10 month old baby. Then she called back and said she just bought a GPS navigation system for 200 bucks and could dad please put money in her account! I was floored. I have been in the situation of having a child alone and I never in my wildest dreams would have thought to have bought a “luxury” item, especially when it was not needed.

    I am also worried because she is so set on being able to give her infant daughter psychotic meds because she thinks that the child may need it in the future and does not want the father of this infant to have any say so. I just have this feeling like my husband is going behind my back and going to give her money the minute she starts crying. She refuses to accept any responsibility. She won’t get a job. She makes excuses, she is manipulative and she knows exactly what to say to get money from her dad. He doesn’t have a backbone where she’s concerned. When he tells her to do something, he says it in a manner that sounds more like he is afraid to get through to her she cannot carry on like this. He is afraid of losing her.

    She honestly believes that the salary my husband makes is her salary. She acts as though she has the same rights as a spouse. My husband and I have talked but I am having serious doubts that he will follow through.

    She calls him an a-hole and then turns around and talks about him dying and tells him that since he married me, if affects her inheritance. They sat at Thanksgiving Dinner and told their dad that he needed to go die basically. But he does not hear what his kids tell him or basically takes it as a joke. My kids have never told me to go die (maybe go to hell, but not die). Then she started in that the dishes that were given to him in his first wife’s marriage (she deceased) and that she wants them and is entitled to them. He bought many of the pieces to make it a complete set. We would likely have given them to her later, but she feels some direct and immediate entitlement to them.

    So today I heard her talking about my five year and making accusations that were not true and I just yelled at my husband who was ever so nicely telling her she was not being appropriate, I told her to take care of herself and her child and quit manipulating her father. He got mad at me because she hung up on him. I told him I did not care to hear anymore because all she does is talk. I am thinking I should get a job albeit it would be considerably less than what he could make, but I may end up having to leave because I am really having a hard time thinking I could live with this. I had not realized he is basically married to this child, who thinks she has entitlement.

    I have been through a lot of sad times, I have been through rough times. My parents were well off and did not offer me a “bail out” I went through college nursing a child and working. I did not get ammenities like a PC to type my papers I had to drive over an hour to get to a computer and usually had to stay up 3-4 days at a time during finals weeks. I don’t desire more money or “things” for myself. I can take care of myself. It’s the attitude of this girl and the way she treats her father that makes me infu

  172. i am nearly blinde, not completely but nearly. i just went to my gonna be high school to take the placement testing with all the other eighth graders. sinc e i am nearly blinde, my braille teacher signed me up to get a large print test booklit, no big deal right? well they all turned it into something bigger than it was, very insulting. so i had to go and tell some lady that i needed a large print test booklit, so i said “i’ve been signed up to use a large print test booklit”
    the lady goes. “you mean you need special accomidations.”
    “no, just a large print test booklit.”
    “no that would be considered special accomidations, come with me” she made me stand off to the side, with all the kids in special ed, and yes, i am in special ed, but TO READ BRAILLE not becuase i can’t comprehend the stuff they through at me, i am in all the gifted classes, and i’m planning on being advanced placement, in everything in high school.
    so i am standing their with all the support kids, and i ask “am i going to be in the room i was assigned too?” because that was really important to me, not to be seperated from my friend, who i was getting a ride home with, (we have the same last initial, so we were in the same room)
    and she said “we’ll see”
    she looked for my name on her list, and couldn’t find it, i told her “thats because i am not supposed to be here, i am supposed to be in s229.”
    she goes in a high pitched talking slow, almost parent ease voice “don’t worry, we’ll get you tested, just sit down iin here.”
    “but i am not supposed to be in here.”
    “yeah, i know, we’ll figure it out” same voice.
    then they would not let me fill out the forms myself, there was one wehre we were supposed to mark in all our grades this year in our classes, i told the lady that i get a’s in everything. and she was all “good job, you must be smart” then they asked if we were in excelerated classes, she almost filled in no, before i told her that i was in excelerated classes. they locked me in a room, with the lady, to mark the answers for me. that is what they do for the all blind kids, i told them over and over again, that i don’t need that, i can see. really i can. but nope, it was really offending, how they forced me to do this stuff. so i answer the first test, and the lady, makes me give her a high five, and she tells me “good job,” in the high pitched parent ease voice, and i give her a weak, please don’t talk to me in that tone, voice. this happened three more times with the three tests, and by this time, i was feeling very offended that they assumed that i was not smart enough to be in excelerated, and that i was in the room for other reasons, by the time i was in sixth grade, i was making accomadations for myself by myself, that they trained me to do in grade school, so all of this was really offending.
    then i finished, the science portion, and she said, “congradulations, your done, you can go home now.” i look at her like she’s the one who’s being treated meantly ill, and say, “no, i am staying for the writing portion” which is what you have to stay for to get into AP writing, which of coarse is very important to me, they just assumed i wasn’t going to take it, they didn’t even offer it to me. which is offending, but then the other lady, that made come in there at all, said to me, “you know, you don’t have to take it.” in the parent ease voice
    i say, “i know, but i want to be in A P English.” and she rolls her eyes at me and says, “if you want too.” in a ‘waisting your time’ kind of way.
    so i take this test and get out of their, and she asks me if i wanted to use the schools phone to call my mom, now i know, from talking to the special ed kids, (lots of them are friends of mine, out of coincidence) and they have hard families, lots of them don’t even have mothers, and i think she shouldn’t have said that, i nearly said, “no, i can’t call her, she’s dead.” but i didn’t because i don’t have the guts, so i walked out of there, feeling really angry that people would treat me like that, slump me with the support kids. my dad said i should have protested against taking the test, he said that might even cause me to get a lower test grade, my mom thinks that she will call some poeple and figure out who did it, so that she can get them in trouble for discrimination, lots of people do things like that to me, and usually, i can just move right past it, but this time,. its really burning. what do you think i should do? nothing rude please.
    i don’t have a 504, but i do have an iep, and they just call it special ed just the same, becuase my braille teacher works for a company run by special ed, and that doesn’t really help me with discrimination, or high school placement testing.
    I have all the things that you list, and i do know about my terrible spelling, S just one of those regular problems i have to work on, and it doesn’t help that i type faster than i should (about 80 wpm ranther than 50 wpm) and i have a really old keyboard, about as old as me, but thanks for reminding me, and being considerate, but in future, i read bad spelling better than anyone, because, i use it.

  173. I know this is long but if you’re a reg, TC or professional, please consider reading this even if you don’t want to respond. I honestly don’t know what to do with myself. Many regs here know that I state that I am a qualified mental health practitioner. That is true – I would never lie about a qualification I do not have or pretend to be somebody I am not.

    I do not currently work in mental health because of a traumatic even 12 months ago. I was set-up by an angry ex-partner when I found out he was having an affair and threatened to tell his ‘other woman’.

    In order to stop me, he got me sectioned. Very easy for him to do as he was a police sergeant. It took one call and I was dragged off for no reason. He told them I was about to commit suicide. I was not. He just wanted me out of the way to buy himself time to protect himself.

    I was treated ok by the police, but horrendously by hospital staff including members of the crisis team and ward staff. My level of distress grew tenfold every day because they kept tricking me over and over, saying I only needed to stay one night then I could go, Three days later they were still holding me. I was crying and begging to be freed but they told me I could not go. The section had been lifted before I even got to hospital for assessment (yes, really!). They had no holding powers on me and they kept telling me I was there voluntarily. I was not. To this day in my notes it says I was there on a voluntary basis yet I tried everything to try to get out.

    They had told me I was not able to see a psychiatrist for another 12 days as they only visited the ward every 2 weeks. Being a mental health practitioner, I knew this was rubbish and knew my legal rights and so I called a solicitor. She visited the ward twice and told the staff they were holding me illegally. She told them they must either let me go or section me. On both occasions, the staff told her they would call a psychiatrist and get them to assess me that same day with a view to allowing me to go home, The solicitor would leave the ward, and the staff would NOT call a psychiatrist to come and talk to me, In fact they did nothing but lie and abuse me. I did not eat one single thing for five days and had less than two tiny cups of water each day. In fact it was only after I left that I realised that at no point did they offer me food. I was exhausted, weak, angry and actually began to feel genuinely suicidal over the captivity and deceit. I looked for ways to end my life and found none. I could not believe what was happening to me – as if finding out the man I’d been with for two years had been cheating the whole time, not ON me with WITH ME. I was his ‘other woman’ but neither his partner nor myself had any inkling. He lived a double life that whole time and now I was having to face this trauma which went against EVERYTHING I’d been taught at university and every instict I had.

    After several days, I actually escaped from the psychiatric ward. I cannot tell you how because I do not want to give vulnerable people who NEED to be in hospital ideas on how to get out, but escape I did, and I jumped on the first bus I saw and fled to a train station and got many miles away. I hid there for two weeks, staying each night in a different hotel, paying for everything with cash so I could not be traced via bank statements.

    On three occasions I was returning to the hotels for the night after a day quite literally on the run and found police cars parked outside. I ran and hid until they left, convinced they had tracked me down and were waiting to transport me back to Hell behind locked doors.

    Eventually I returned home. The police turned up several minutes after I returned. It was a dumb cop probably too delirious from doughnut munching to care about his job. He found me eventually, hiding in my wardrobe. He didn’t even know the circumstances or that I was supposed to be in hospital. In fact he knew nothing except one of the neighbours had called the police after seeing me return. The police had apparently asked the neighbours to call 999 if any of them saw me, and one of them had. He didn’t know why he’d been sent. Somehow I managed to blag my way out of it and he left, clueless.

    Since then, I have had the biggest hatred for mental health services like you wouldn’t believe. My anger boils constantly because they have taken away my career – I can no longer work with other MH professionals because I trust NONE. My answers here on Yahoo Answers are my only way of exercising what I have learnt and my urge to help and advise others is as strong as it ever was.

    I feel traumatised by my experience. I will never and can never work with mental health services again, either as a patient or professional. My instinct to keep every tiny aspect of my life incredibly private is so strong that I barely talk to anybody now.

    What do I do? Please don’t suggest counse
    Sorry – counselling or anything to do with mental health. I am scared, angry and lost.
    DD, I’ll try to answer with not many characters!

    In the UK a psychiatrist MUST assess patient before discharge even if they are there voluntarily. Nobody can just walk out at any time. Legally if a vol. patient asks to leave, they need to call a psych during the day and ask them to come and eval with a view to discharge. Staff said they would call one, but then refused to do so. The solicitor would have been breaking the law trying to get me out without an eval.

    The unit was locked & staff on the door 24/7. I could not just walk out. Bars on windows, that kind of thing.

    I would have refused food regardless. I had not taken anything prior to admission & they do blood tests to check this. No meds/drugs/alcohol in system. ‘Inmates’ flocked to kitchen area at mealtimes but I was never called for a meal or told I had to eat. Nobody offered to bring toast to my room, for example. I refused to eat/sit with patients as I would be seen to be complying with their abuse & I was not a patient a
    I was not a patient and did not want a reputation of being amongst the others patients (I would not socialise in case of of them knew me!)

    Cannot go back and ‘get records’. Here you have to apply to see medical records and they only give you the very basic stuff that they don’t mind you reading. No way would info in there from that lock up be released to me.

    After I left I was hiding because I had escaped from a locked psychiatric ward. The police kept calling my mobile and leaving messages asking me to go back or meet them anywhere I wanted. I was on ‘red alert’ – what the cops call ‘high risk missing’ partly due to the state I was in when I left and partly due to absconding. It means police were out looking for me and could 136 me in the street and take me back if they found me (sectioning in a public place). I was not scared by the cop/ex. I knew he wouldn’t hurt me – we are not talking domestic violence. It’s abuse of power but he never ever physically hurt me in any way.
    DD, I’ll try to answer with not many characters!

    In the UK a psychiatrist MUST assess patient before discharge even if they are there voluntarily. Nobody can just walk out at any time. Legally if a vol. patient asks to leave, they need to call a psych during the day and ask them to come and eval with a view to discharge. Staff said they would call one, but then refused to do so. The solicitor would have been breaking the law trying to get me out without an eval.

    The unit was locked & staff on the door 24/7. I could not just walk out. Bars on windows, that kind of thing.

    I would have refused food regardless. I had not taken anything prior to admission & they do blood tests to check this. No meds/drugs/alcohol in system. ‘Inmates’ flocked to kitchen area at mealtimes but I was never called for a meal or told I had to eat. Nobody offered to bring toast to my room, for example. I refused to eat/sit with patients as I would be seen to be complying with their abuse & I was not a patient a

  174. Alright so i met my bf cameron in september and as cheesy as it sounds, i fell in love with him instantly. I’ve had a lot of short relationships and we lasted 7 months. the first 5 were heaven/perfect/amazing…you name it. we were perfect and i’ve never been so happy. he told me he loved me, and i told him i loved him too. i’ve said it to one person before but later realized that i was very naive at that time, so i dont really count it any more. i meant it with cameron though. i felt completely content and for the first time in my life, didnt even LOOK at other guys! that’s never happened before with me.

    but like i said, it was perfect for the first five months. we’ve been together 7. we started having problems when he started not being able to make time for me. he also got a new job on top of it, although it started before he was hired. i was pretty understanding and didnt even say anything for a while. he has school and work and those need to be a priority. but it wasnt just that he didnt have a lot of time any more…he started breaking promises and just being a downright douche. i ended up telling him i wanted to break up, and we talked it out to the point where i agreed to a break until summer when maybe we could try things again.

    so we go on a break, but meanwhile my car was broken. cameron is kind of a mechanic so he had told me he would fix it since i dont have a lot of money. but now that we were broken up, it would have been too weird. this guy colton i know a little offered to fix it for free and i wasnt about to turn him down. we hadnt really hung out before but while we were hanging out, fixing my car and stuff, we actually got to be really good friends. he told me he had feelings for me, but i explained that i still loved cameron and although i was technically single, i wasnt interested in dating anybody.

    now me and cameron are back together and working things out. he has changed quite a bit and i SHOULD be completely happy. but for some reason i’m not. i dont know what happened, but i’m almost indifferent now when it comes to cameron. i dont feel anything at all when i kiss him and i feel nothing when we say i love you to each other. at first i though it was because of colton, that maybe i DO have feelings for him. but the more i thought about it, i could tell that wasnt it. i just feel like being single or something, but that doesnt seem like enough of a reason. i was HEAD OVER FRIGGIN HEELS for cameron. and when we broke up all i could think about was being with him again. but now that we are back together i just feel bored and emotionless. there’s no spark any more and i dont know why. i was also really attracted to him physically before and now that’s gone too. his sense of humor cracked me up before and now he just irritates me. i cant even figure out what i saw in him before! what the heck happened?! i’ve cared way less about guys before and not been able to let go and move on. now with cameron who i genuinely loved and wanted to be with, those feelings that were so strong just disappeared. how though? i just dont understand what happened! i feel guilty still leading him on thinking things are fine, and i want to break up again honestly. i know he’ll just think it’s for colton though and it’s not. why is this happening and what do i do?! please help me :/

  175. I met a girl on a matchmaking service as I could use a diversion for my time while overseas as a deployed soldier in Iraq. She and I spoke for six months online before I was able to come home and finally meet her. We talked about everything- including past relationships. She mentioned how she had lived with an older guy for three years when she turned 18, but that she broke it off because she thought he had cheated on her, he didn’t treat her well, and he wasn’t willing to settle down and marry her. Once we met, she and I fell in love and everything was great for the first several months of our relationship- I even moved in with her after leaving the Army.

    She introduced me to many of her friends, one of them a guy who we will call Rick. Rick was very nice to me, always buying me drinks, and he even offered me a job if I wanted it as I had just left the service. My GF had started a restaurant, and Rick’s contracting company did the majority of the work on the building because she had asked him to do it. Rick even had an office upstairs in the building for his contracting company- right next to my GF’s. When my GFs restaurant opened its doors, my GF hired Rick’s sister to be his bookkeeper- and I was also introduced by my GF to Rick’s entire family when they came in for dinner (which was fairly often). Rick helped bartend for the opening night of the restaurant. My GF was best friends with Rick’s brother’s wife, and my GF would always run to Rick when there were problems with the restaurant. There were several times when I found them upstairs together- alone, talking about things with the door closed. I had my suspicions, so I asked my GF how she got to know Rick- and she said he was just a friend she had known through her best friend (the one who was married to Rick’s brother).

    It wasn’t until we had been actually dating for six months (but talking for over a year) that I discovered the truth about my GF and Rick, just by casual conversation when someone told me he had given her a cheap rate on the construction for the restaurant because they had dated in the past. As I’m sure you know by now, Rick was the guy my GF had lived with for three years. I confronted her about it, and her response was that yes, they had lived together and dated, but that things between them were over. I told her I didn’t want her to talk to him anymore- but it was an impossible request. His sister worked for her, he had a contract for the office upstairs (so he would almost be guaranteed to see her every day for the next two years) and her best friend was married to his brother, so it would be hard for her to see her best friend without occasionally seeing him as well.

    I started snooping around to satisfy my curiosity. Even though it had been a couple years since they dated, she still had BOXES of photos of them together on beaches in Mexico and Jamaica- a place she and I were planning to go. She had an “I Love You” video she made for him still on her computer. There were no photos of any other person she dated- just pictures of those two together. When I confronted her about this, she did throw the pictures away, but only after I told her about them.

    My GF reassured me that there was nothing going on, and I believed her. Rick told me the same thing when he found out I knew. I don’t think she wants to date him, but I think that for whatever reason she likes having him around. It has been five months since I learned of this, and I still can’t get over it- how inconsiderate she was to put me in this situation, how she deceived me by lying about it/not telling me about it (which I think is a HUGE deal), and how I never would have moved in with her if I had known the truth beforehand.

    Am I crazy to think that most people would want to leave their past behind instead of seeing it walk through the door everyday?

    I care about this girl, but this has been tearing me apart for five months and I don’t know how to get over it. I feel like if I had known about it sooner, I could’ve gotten over it- but the fact that she lied about it for so many months makes me not trust her. And here’s the kicker- before all this came out, she told me when she was younger she had an abortion- from someone else. She could tell me that (which I think is a MUCH bigger secret) but she didn’t want to tell me about Rick- doesn’t that sound fishy? I find myself looking for excuses to make her feel bad about dating him and lying about it- which I know is never a good sign.

    Any advice is welcome.

    Thanks.
    Now that I know this guy- and I’ve learned even more about his scumbaggery since first meeting him- it makes me wonder what kind of taste my GF had in men before meeting me…. It makes me feel like I could do better…especially since now I wonder what else she’s hiding from me (because I don’t feel like I can really trust her).

  176. I did ask a similar question but it was only for the last 2-3 paragraphs and I think that people thought that it was the begining, well heres the whole thing at the moment. Lastly I know that to older people it may not apeal, but this is a story for teens etc, so that may be the reason why. I know my grammar isn’t perfect and I understand that.

    Preface

    My name is Chezney Wilson. I’m not some famous celebrity chased by the paparazzi that you see tend to always see nowadays. I’m not even some random wannabe that tags along with the largest crowds just to be noticed and appreciated. I don’t want to be any of those people. I just want to be a normal and regular guy, that tries to help others as much as he can. Who does his best to try and make the world just that little better. Well I thought that I was just a normal and regular guy, but as it turned out, there was more to me then even I knew.

    Chapter One

    A New Start

    Being a lonely child and having your parents split up is incredibly hard. First of all, your most likely going to be confused, hurt and scared as you have no idea for if it is your fathers fault, your mothers or maybe even yours. That’s immediately how I felt when my parents got divorced, and these were my exact feelings on the twenty sixth of may, two thousand and ten, five days before my eighteenth birthday, when I found myself sitting beside my Dad, Harry Wilson, in the front passenger seat of his shiny new black Porsche. My Dad is kind of rich; he had a big job in a hospital. Actually he was known as the best doctor in all Seattle which I think that this was the problem, that my Mom, didn’t think that my Dad spent enough time at home. However now that we had left Seattle; due to both his and my Mom’s, final decision. My Dad has been offered a new job as the chief doctor in Traverse City, Michigan. I don’t really pay any attention to the fact that my Dad earns a great deal of money each year, as cash isn’t really everything, its really all about what you want to do in life. That is why in the backseat, my bass guitar is safely lieing down on a few fully packed suitcases. Music is just one of the subjects that I fully enjoy, to me life without music is simply unbearable, I play guitar and sometimes only when I’m alone, I tend to sing a little. When school is involved, I’m not exactly the cleverest in my classes, I guess you can say that I’m an average B plus student. I put a lot of effort into my education as its important and a few good grades, can make nice decorations on the kitchen refrigerator.
    After a another slow two and a half hour drive, we soon started to arrive at the city’s entrance. Feeling extremely bored due to the lack of activity, I gazed into the small side view mirror and took a good look at my appearance, ready for when we finally got out of the car. As I swept my long and dark fringe away from my right eye, my hard, piercing and still a little upset, blue eye slowly blinked back in my direction. Apart from the clear signs of lack of sleep that had started to creep around the bottom of both of my eyes, they seemed to both looked perfectly fine.
    “That’s what you need, plenty of sleep,” remarked my Dad suddenly, still keeping his eyes on the busy road in front of us as we slowly came to a short bend. This remark sounded strange because apart from the quick, ‘Are you ready?’ he had asked before we had left, this was the first thing that he had said throughout the whole trip.
    “Maybe,” I muttered, not taking any notice of what he had just said. As I looked away from the side view mirror, I managed to catch a small glimpse of the city’s tall welcome sign, as it towered above us for just a quick a second. Feeling awkward, he slowly shuffled around in his seat and then took a quick sip of his strong smelling black coffee. Wanting to avoid this awkward moment, I looked out of my window and noticed that there were a lot of people and stores flashing by, then there had been around five minutes ago.
    As we gradually began to drive deeper into the city, it soon became to feel incredibly boring. For no apparent reason, I tightly closed my eyes and reopened them five minutes later, to find that we had just left the city and now started to pass the most beautiful looking beach that I had ever seen. As if the beach was somehow controlling me, I rolled down my window, allowing a gentle breeze to enter, so that I could see everything even more clearly. Everything about the beach looked amazing its golden sand as it glinted in the strong sun light and the clear deep blue water.
    “I knew that you would like this place,” Dad eagerly remarked, as he took a quick and hopeful look in my direction. Without answering, I knew inside that he was right, this place was extreme. “Kind of beautiful isn’t it?” he asked, as we stopped at a set of lights, to let a group of laughing teens, carrying surf boards, cross the road. Giving the beach one last look, I turned to look at Dad, as I

  177. This is imporatant to me, please read :S

    my fiancee is such a stubborn guy, lovely, nice, devoted…but stubborn like…wow. He had a DWI and crashed his car like 3 years ago. Since then, he got a job, lost a job (cause it was a disreputable work place) and he has gone to court, which bumped DOWN his color for drug testing to once a month, instead of twice. If cooperative, he goes on unsupervised probation march 31. Well, he lost his job. He wouldnt call his PO nor call to see if his color was up. Everytime I asked him to call to see he would say “damnit, I know sarah! quit hounding me, I will do it. Quit pushing me, I hate that ” and he never does, the more I ask, the more pissed off he gets at me. I asked him to use my aunts phone and he was like “No, cause then they will never shut up” or he says” you know we can’t afford it, its 100$ at the hospital to get a drug test”. I try and get him off his butt to do something towards getting out of a rut and he just sits there and rather pretends it is not real..and when I tell him it wont go away he grits his teeth and scoffs going “ugh…I KNOW SARAH…shut up..” then he has this tendency to point the finger at me about being a messy person or something so I don’t have a halo around my head in that argument. Well, he had a warrant out cause of missed tests, turned himself in, went in front of a judge in a orange jumpsuit and shackles trying to reason and tell the judge he didn’t have a phone to contact nor money to do the tests, offered to be on a more frequent color rather than the 2 weeks jail time. Judge told him “well, couldnt you have used a pay phone, or mail a letter to your probation officer” he pauses five seconds and goes “well, I guess” then the judge says ” There is no legitamate reason why you failed to contact your PO for over…4 months.. So I am going to give you the 15 days cause I don’t think you would learn otherwise.” His mom was crying, was it bad that I was smiling???? I was mad, and equally like ” yeah, thats what you get for being stubborn ‘have it your way’ ” Anyway, when he gets out, if you were me, would you welcome him with open arms and a present (his Bday is Vday) or be pissed off….what would you do?

  178. my fiancee is such a stubborn guy, lovely, nice, devoted…but stubborn like…wow. He had a DWI and crashed his car like 3 years ago. Since then, he got a job, lost a job (cause it was a disreputable work place) and he has gone to court, which bumped DOWN his color for drug testing to once a month, instead of twice. If cooperative, he goes on unsupervised probation march 31. Well, he lost his job. He wouldnt call his PO nor call to see if his color was up. Everytime I asked him to call to see he would say “damnit, I know sarah! quit hounding me, I will do it. Quit pushing me, I hate that ” and he never does, the more I ask, the more pissed off he gets at me. I asked him to use my aunts phone and he was like “No, cause then they will never shut up” or he says” you know we can’t afford it, its 100$ at the hospital to get a drug test”. I try and get him off his butt to do something towards getting out of a rut and he just sits there and rather pretends it is not real..and when I tell him it wont go away he grits his teeth and scoffs going “ugh…I KNOW SARAH…shut up..” then he has this tendency to point the finger at me about being a messy person or something so I don’t have a halo around my head in that argument. Well, he had a warrant out cause of missed tests, turned himself in, went in front of a judge in a orange jumpsuit and shackles trying to reason and tell the judge he didn’t have a phone to contact nor money to do the tests, offered to be on a more frequent color rather than the 2 weeks jail time. Judge told him “well, couldnt you have used a pay phone, or mail a letter to your probation officer” he pauses five seconds and goes “well, I guess” then the judge says ” There is no legitamate reason why you failed to contact your PO for over…4 months.. So I am going to give you the 15 days cause I don’t think you would learn otherwise.” His mom was crying, was it bad that I was smiling???? I was mad, and equally like ” yeah, thats what you get for being stubborn ‘have it your way’ ” Anyway, when he gets out, if you were me, would you welcome him with open arms and a present (his Bday is Vday) or be pissed off….what would you do?
    ……umm..Can’t never did anything….

  179. my mom has attempted suicide again. I found Christ when I was expecting my son, I repented for my lifestyle and being unmarried. Five years later I started to date, sinned with two men I though each I was going to marry and had to repent so fully I know I will never do so again, by the grace of our the holy spirit, Jesus Christ and our holy God. My mom since she was young, she had a horrible, unmentionable childhood and was suicidal since younger, I thought she was doing better but has tried to drink and take pills about three to four times since I knew about her tries when I was 14. I feel bad I depended on her for a place to live and money with my son so I could raise him but I guess I thought because she had a lot of money it was okay and she was helping me financiallly so I could be there raise him to have love and follow Jesus and God. I have given her money, usually in a lump sum, but she was also generous. I tried to help her by being there for her also. I finallly moved out in the end of February again, this time to my own place, thanks to God. My son broke his arm and I had a problem with the first apartment but I did not ask her for money, but stayed with her a few days in between after she said she wanted us to. I also borrowed her car, to take my son to a bone doctor that was too far for my car, because she offered. I realize I should have said no. Anyway, she has other things going on, she can’t keep a job for some reason and she left one in December because her boss wasn’t nice or good and has been turned down a lot. She also has problems with most of our family members she says it is all our fault, because her three kids and family members never help her. I have tried to. I tell her I love her and Jesus and God loves her and she scoffs at me and tells me to go away. She is running out of money because she had about 15,000 since January but it is dwindling. So she said she was going to commit suicide and can’t take it (she says this a lot) but she had a will notarized last week and sent what was very like a suicde letter through email to my brother. That night I called 911 because she told me goodbye and tell my son to live a good life and she is sorry she wasn’t a good mother and we are all ungrateful and goodbye to everyone.

    I called 911 they took her to a hospital, and then a mental hospital for one day. She got out and told me and my brother to never contact her again. I thought she was mad, but hopefull she got past those dire feelings. She called her mom and cousin and said basically we made it up, she just sent that letter in case and she wouldn’t do anything to commit suicide. We were upset but relieved she was alive. Then she texted my uncle, goodbye the next day in a way where he was really worried so he called the police, they found her in the bathroom. She had slit her wrist. They said she had three minutes I am told, she was in ICU. Yesterday she was transferred to a regular room, I went to see her in ICU told her I loved her, Jesus and God lover her and we want her to feel better. She told me leave, get out, go away. I did. My 15 year old sister wanted to see her the next day. I went to support her and her dad, my stepfather before the divorce, and she asked to see my son after. I let her talk to him because she has done a lot for him, then she was really angry started yelling and being mean to me, so I left with him. She is angry with us, says it is the people around hers fault. They can’t tell us how she is now because she won’t let them by law, and is being rude. I am worried they will let her go, I don’t know what to do. I put it in the hands of God and pray for salvaiton in Jesus Christ to save her. I don’t know what else should be done

  180. i am nearly blinde, not completely but nearly. i just went to my gonna be high school to take the placement testing with all the other eighth graders. sinc e i am nearly blinde, my braille teacher signed me up to get a large print test booklit, no big deal right? well they all turned it into something bigger than it was, very insulting. so i had to go and tell some lady that i needed a large print test booklit, so i said “i’ve been signed up to use a large print test booklit”
    the lady goes. “you mean you need special accomidations.”
    “no, just a large print test booklit.”
    “no that would be considered special accomidations, come with me” she made me stand off to the side, with all the kids in special ed, and yes, i am in special ed, but TO READ BRAILLE not becuase i can’t comprehend the stuff they through at me, i am in all the gifted classes, and i’m planning on being advanced placement, in everything in high school.
    so i am standing their with all the support kids, and i ask “am i going to be in the room i was assigned too?” because that was really important to me, not to be seperated from my friend, who i was getting a ride home with, (we have the same last initial, so we were in the same room)
    and she said “we’ll see”
    she looked for my name on her list, and couldn’t find it, i told her “thats because i am not supposed to be here, i am supposed to be in s229.”
    she goes in a high pitched talking slow, almost parent ease voice “don’t worry, we’ll get you tested, just sit down iin here.”
    “but i am not supposed to be in here.”
    “yeah, i know, we’ll figure it out” same voice.
    then they would not let me fill out the forms myself, there was one wehre we were supposed to mark in all our grades this year in our classes, i told the lady that i get a’s in everything. and she was all “good job, you must be smart” then they asked if we were in excelerated classes, she almost filled in no, before i told her that i was in excelerated classes. they locked me in a room, with the lady, to mark the answers for me. that is what they do for the all blind kids, i told them over and over again, that i don’t need that, i can see. really i can. but nope, it was really offending, how they forced me to do this stuff. so i answer the first test, and the lady, makes me give her a high five, and she tells me “good job,” in the high pitched parent ease voice, and i give her a weak, please don’t talk to me in that tone, voice. this happened three more times with the three tests, and by this time, i was feeling very offended that they assumed that i was not smart enough to be in excelerated, and that i was in the room for other reasons, by the time i was in sixth grade, i was making accomadations for myself by myself, that they trained me to do in grade school, so all of this was really offending.
    then i finished, the science portion, and she said, “congradulations, your done, you can go home now.” i look at her like she’s the one who’s being treated meantly ill, and say, “no, i am staying for the writing portion” which is what you have to stay for to get into AP writing, which of coarse is very important to me, they just assumed i wasn’t going to take it, they didn’t even offer it to me. which is offending, but then the other lady, that made come in there at all, said to me, “you know, you don’t have to take it.” in the parent ease voice
    i say, “i know, but i want to be in A P English.” and she rolls her eyes at me and says, “if you want too.” in a ‘waisting your time’ kind of way.
    so i take this test and get out of their, and she asks me if i wanted to use the schools phone to call my mom, now i know, from talking to the special ed kids, (lots of them are friends of mine, out of coincidence) and they have hard families, lots of them don’t even have mothers, and i think she shouldn’t have said that, i nearly said, “no, i can’t call her, she’s dead.” but i didn’t because i don’t have the guts, so i walked out of there, feeling really angry that people would treat me like that, slump me with the support kids. my dad said i should have protested against taking the test, he said that might even cause me to get a lower test grade, my mom thinks that she will call some poeple and figure out who did it, so that she can get them in trouble for discrimination, lots of people do things like that to me, and usually, i can just move right past it, but this time,. its really burning. what do you think i should do? nothing rude please.
    i don’t have a 504, but i do have an iep, and they just call it special ed just the same, becuase my braille teacher works for a company run by special ed, and that doesn’t really help me with discrimination, or high school placement testing.
    I have all the things that you list, and i do know about my terrible spelling, S just one of those regular problems i have to work on, and it doesn’t help that i type faster than i should (about 80 wpm ranther than 50 wpm) and i have a really old keyboard, about as old as me, but thanks for reminding me, and being considerate, but in future, i read bad spelling better than anyone, because, i use it.

  181. Hi I’m a 31 year old stay at home Mom with my adorable 13 month old daughter. I’ve been with my husband 5 years and I want to make our marriage work.We really need counseling to fix this and for us to both be happy and have both our needs met. I’m having a hard time getting my point thru to him. He just thinks he’s right and I’m wrong. He doesn’t believe a relationship needs constant work and it needs to be treated with the utmost care or it falls apart. He just thinks it is what it is and we don’t need professional help. I love him dearly but I’m having a hard time seeing us for many more years together unless theres a change. It’s actually pretty little work on his part. So this is my last resort, I’m going to quickly write down the basic problems and I’m so confused at this point, I’m asking for validation for my feelings. If any of u were in my shoes would u feel the same way? And feel free to tell me I’m wrong, whatever needs done to save our family I’ll do it but to live with quiet anger and resentment is not healthy.

    There’s three main issues. One is He works 60 to 70 hours a week and plays hockey 3 to 4 times a week. So I don’t really see him that much and when I do he’s worn out and tired or hungry or just want’s to relax. I said once maybe you could not go to hockey tonight and he took that as me taking him away from his passion.Thats so far from the truth, I would never want or ask him to quit. Thats a major problem with us in general. he constantly misunderstands me and it turns into a fight really fast.and part of me thinks if he knew me at all he wouldn’t misunderstand me so much. How can me wanting him to spend time with me turn into what I don’t even know because we have never ever talked thru and resolved a conflict. When we fight I feel like my big strong man turns into a child! Theres insults and back and forth and then he gets really vicious with his words and goes too far and hurts me. I end up with a stabbing pain in my heart that his little sentence that ended the fight will eventually end our marriage. i walk away, we stop fighting, it’s never cleared up or resolved because I guess we don’t know how. ( Hence why we need counseling) But if I were to go tell him that right now THAT would turn into a fight of why am I trying to ruin his day. The way he misunderstands me hurts as much as his deep comments. Because theres no reason for it, I’m so good to him. I’m always considerate of him, always do you want something dear you need something dear?What can I do for you? I would love if he returned a quarter of how I treat him. I def shown him by example.

    He’s a great provider and very generous with me, because he does make all the money and he works hard for us. I do appeciate that sooo much of course I do. That allows me to raise our child.

    The Hockey I think shouldn’t be more than 2 days a week.What marriage is healthy when the husband works 5 days until evening then plays up to four days. Any more than 2 days is just neglect. Neglect to our home and us and our child. but again he doesn’t see it that way.

    I don’t understand. When I used to work I couldn’t wait to get home to see him, I wouldn’t actually make plans with a friend until I found out what he was doing first. But he’s the opposite he makes plans for himself and sometimes us then tells me about it. It infurriates me that he doesn’t check with me. He doesn’t know the reason why he has to tell me.

    I do all the cooking and cleaning and housework and In five years he’s never done a load of launry or picked his clothes up or cleaned a dish or watched our daughter for more than an hour. And Ok there’s the argument that that’s my job and he does his job but I said to him my job is 24/7. I never get a break. Can u offer to watch our daughter for a couple hours Once? Or offer to change her or bathe her or play with her. He loves her so much I know he does really so why do I have to force him to do these things. And when he does do them because I’ve made him he acts helpless and he can’t handle it and saying oh she wants her Mommy she needs you, oh my back hurts take her. And he want’s more kids! If the father works really hard doesn’t he still owe a minimum amount of just bonding with his kid? I feel like our relationship has morphed into a 50’s the woman does this and the Man does this. I feel like a single Mom most days. We need help, what can I do? what can I say to get him to understand?

  182. I did ask a similar question but it was only for the last 2-3 paragraphs and I think that people thought that it was the begining, well heres the whole thing at the moment. Lastly I know that to older people it may not apeal, but this is a story for teens etc, so that may be the reason why. I know my grammar isn’t perfect and I understand that.

    Preface

    My name is Chezney Wilson. I’m not some famous celebrity chased by the paparazzi that you see tend to always see nowadays. I’m not even some random wannabe that tags along with the largest crowds just to be noticed and appreciated. I don’t want to be any of those people. I just want to be a normal and regular guy, that tries to help others as much as he can. Who does his best to try and make the world just that little better. Well I thought that I was just a normal and regular guy, but as it turned out, there was more to me then even I knew.

    Chapter One

    A New Start

    Being a lonely child and having your parents split up is incredibly hard. First of all, your most likely going to be confused, hurt and scared as you have no idea for if it is your fathers fault, your mothers or maybe even yours. That’s immediately how I felt when my parents got divorced, and these were my exact feelings on the twenty sixth of may, two thousand and ten, five days before my eighteenth birthday, when I found myself sitting beside my Dad, Harry Wilson, in the front passenger seat of his shiny new black Porsche. My Dad is kind of rich; he had a big job in a hospital. Actually he was known as the best doctor in all Seattle which I think that this was the problem, that my Mom, didn’t think that my Dad spent enough time at home. However now that we had left Seattle; due to both his and my Mom’s, final decision. My Dad has been offered a new job as the chief doctor in Traverse City, Michigan. I don’t really pay any attention to the fact that my Dad earns a great deal of money each year, as cash isn’t really everything, its really all about what you want to do in life. That is why in the backseat, my bass guitar is safely lieing down on a few fully packed suitcases. Music is just one of the subjects that I fully enjoy, to me life without music is simply unbearable, I play guitar and sometimes only when I’m alone, I tend to sing a little. When school is involved, I’m not exactly the cleverest in my classes, I guess you can say that I’m an average B plus student. I put a lot of effort into my education as its important and a few good grades, can make nice decorations on the kitchen refrigerator.
    After a another slow two and a half hour drive, we soon started to arrive at the city’s entrance. Feeling extremely bored due to the lack of activity, I gazed into the small side view mirror and took a good look at my appearance, ready for when we finally got out of the car. As I swept my long and dark fringe away from my right eye, my hard, piercing and still a little upset, blue eye slowly blinked back in my direction. Apart from the clear signs of lack of sleep that had started to creep around the bottom of both of my eyes, they seemed to both looked perfectly fine.
    “That’s what you need, plenty of sleep,” remarked my Dad suddenly, still keeping his eyes on the busy road in front of us as we slowly came to a short bend. This remark sounded strange because apart from the quick, ‘Are you ready?’ he had asked before we had left, this was the first thing that he had said throughout the whole trip.
    “Maybe,” I muttered, not taking any notice of what he had just said. As I looked away from the side view mirror, I managed to catch a small glimpse of the city’s tall welcome sign, as it towered above us for just a quick a second. Feeling awkward, he slowly shuffled around in his seat and then took a quick sip of his strong smelling black coffee. Wanting to avoid this awkward moment, I looked out of my window and noticed that there were a lot of people and stores flashing by, then there had been around five minutes ago.
    As we gradually began to drive deeper into the city, it soon became to feel incredibly boring. For no apparent reason, I tightly closed my eyes and reopened them five minutes later, to find that we had just left the city and now started to pass the most beautiful looking beach that I had ever seen. As if the beach was somehow controlling me, I rolled down my window, allowing a gentle breeze to enter, so that I could see everything even more clearly. Everything about the beach looked amazing its golden sand as it glinted in the strong sun light and the clear deep blue water.
    “I knew that you would like this place,” Dad eagerly remarked, as he took a quick and hopeful look in my direction. Without answering, I knew inside that he was right, this place was extreme. “Kind of beautiful isn’t it?” he asked, as we stopped at a set of lights, to let a group of laug