Developing Empathy In Teams

One skill separates great communicators from average ones: Perspective-taking. The ability to see things from someone else’s point of view. But most people do it wrong. Here’s how to do it right, especially when you’re leading or being led: When you’re the boss, persuading down: You’re trying to convince Maria on your team to do something different. She’s pushing back. Your instinct might be to assert your authority. But that’s a mistake. Here’s why… Research shows: The more powerful you feel, the worse your perspective-taking becomes. More power = less understanding. So if you want to persuade Maria, don’t lean into your title. Do the opposite: dial your power down, just briefly. Try this: Before the next conversation, remind yourself: Maria has power too. I need her buy-in. Maybe she sees something I don’t. Lower your feelings of power to raise your perspective. From that place, ask: → What does she see that I’m missing? → What might be in her way? → What’s a win-win outcome? That shift changes the entire dynamic. Instead of steamrolling, you’re collaborating. And that’s how you earn trust and results. Now flip it. You’re the employee persuading your boss. It’s a high-stakes moment. You’re nervous. So do you appeal to emotion? No. Drop the feelings. Focus on interests. Here’s the key question: “What’s in it for them?” Not how you feel. Not your big dream. → Will it save time? → Improve performance? → Help them hit their goals? Make it about their world, not yours. Why? Because every boss has a mental shortcut: → Does this employee make my life easier or harder? Be the person who brings clarity, ideas, and upside. Not complaints, drama, or friction. In summary: → Persuading down? Dial down your power to see clearer. → Persuading up? Focus on their interests, not your emotions. Perspective-taking is a superpower, if you learn how to use it. Now practice, practice, practice.

In my first year as a manager I alienated one of my reports by giving him too much feedback in a direct and pointed way. The feedback was "right" but delivered to bluntly and thus unwelcome. Just because you “can” give feedback doesn’t mean you should. The power of your feedback comes from the trust you build with your reports. Here is how you can build it: The most important thing to understand is that even if you have the institutional authority to deliver this feedback (your title), you need the relational authority before you can deliver it effectively. Read this line again please - doing so will help you avoid either giving pain or making problems for yourself (I did both). This means that your reports need to trust and respect you before they will listen to any feedback you give. You can build this trust and respect by: 0) Being Empathetic I was too blunt. I thought that only being right or wrong mattered, not how I said things or the judgment in my tone and words. I lacked Emotional Intelligence (EQ). How you say things matters, and this means not just the words you say but the real intent behind them. My intention in that early review was not truly focused on helping the person, but rather on scolding him into better behavior. I'm not surprised he reacted poorly to it. 1) Being Consistent Good managers are consistently giving feedback—both bad and good—to their reports. Make sure you are recognizing and acknowledging your employees’ strengths as much (or more) than you are pointing out their areas for improvement. This will make them feel comfortable with you pointing out room for improvement because they know you see them for more than their flaws. 2) Never surprise someone with a review. This is related to point 1. If you are consistently giving small pieces of feedback, a more serious piece of negative feedback should not blindside your employee. They should know that it is coming and understand what the issue is. 3) Deliver corrective feedback ASAP, and use clear examples. As soon as you see a pattern of behavior that needs to be addressed, address it using clear evidence. This gives the employee the chance to reflect on the behavior while it is still fresh in their minds, not months later when their review comes around. 4) Check in to confirm that you are being heard correctly Ask the employee if they understand the feedback you are giving and why you are giving it. 5) Be specific enough to drive change The more specific behaviors and examples you can use to support your feedback, the better your employee can understand that you aren’t speaking from a place of dislike or bias. This also gives them more concrete references to inform their behavior change. Readers—What other ways do you build a relationship before giving feedback? (Or, how have you messed this up?)

Kindness is an underrated superpower.

It’s often mistaken for weakness or seen as something “extra” rather than essential. But when you show genuine kindness at work and in life - without expecting anything in return, you’re not just making your environment better, you’re actively transforming it and yourself. 
 Kindness fosters trust, collaboration, and positivity. People who feel valued and supported are naturally more engaged and motivated. They’re more likely to help others, share ideas, and contribute to a culture where everyone can thrive. 

And the beauty of it is, kindness doesn’t require you to be in a leadership position - it’s something you can offer no matter your role.
 Here’s how to bring kindness into your workplace in tangible ways: 1. Start with Small Acts: Hold the lift door for a colleague, offer to grab someone a coffee, or help a team member who’s struggling with a task. These small gestures create a positive ripple effect, making the workplace more collaborative and friendly.
 2. Acknowledge Others’ Efforts: Recognise when your colleagues are doing great work, especially when it might go unnoticed. A simple “well done” or “I appreciate your help” can boost morale significantly. When people feel appreciated, they’re more likely to engage with enthusiasm.
 3. Listen Attentively: In meetings or casual conversations, give people your full attention. Don’t just wait for your turn to speak. Active listening shows respect and makes others feel valued. It fosters deeper connections and opens the door to more meaningful collaboration.
 4. Be Patient with Mistakes: When someone makes a mistake, approach it with patience and understanding instead of frustration. We all have off days. Offering support rather than blame builds trust and helps your team learn and grow together.
 5. Offer Help Without Agenda: If you see a colleague overwhelmed or stuck, offer assistance without expecting a favour in return. Whether it’s staying late to help meet a deadline or simply offering advice, selfless support strengthens team bonds.
 6. Create a Safe Space for Feedback: Make it easy for colleagues to voice their opinions and ideas without fear of judgement. Encourage open dialogue and respond to feedback with kindness, even when it’s critical. This creates a culture of continuous improvement and trust.
 7. Celebrate Wins, Big or Small: Whether it’s completing a big project or overcoming a small challenge, celebrate the achievements of your team. Recognition keeps people motivated and connected to their work, reinforcing a positive and encouraging atmosphere.
 8. Be Kind to Yourself: It’s easy to be hard on yourself when things don’t go as planned. But self-compassion is key to maintaining balance. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you offer others, allowing room for growth and rest when needed. ♻️Adam Grant

Leaders who avoid hard feedback aren’t protecting their people, they are setting them up to fail. Feedback is one of the most powerful tools we have in leadership but it’s also one of the most misused. Because leaders confuse compassion with avoidance, softening the truth until it loses all usefulness, or withholding it altogether under the guise of kindness. Compassionate feedback is about caring enough to be honest, in a way that allows other people to hear it. At APS Intelligence, we use a framework for compassionate feedback, designed to ensure that even difficult messages are delivered with clarity and respect: 1. Frame the feedback - Start by recognising effort and value to create psychological safety and remind people their work is seen and appreciated. 2. Ask permission - Feedback lands better when people feel like they have agency. Asking “Can I talk to you about something I’ve noticed?” is, as Dr. Shelby Hill says, a gentle knock on the door of someone’s psyche instead of barging in. 3. Be precise and objective - Describe what you’ve observed, not your interpretation of it. Feedback should focus on behaviour, not character. 4. Explain the impact - Share how the behaviour affects others or the work. Clarity about consequences builds accountability without blame. 5. Stay curious and open - Avoid assumptions. Ask questions that invite dialogue and understanding, not defence. 6. Collaborate on next steps - Offer support, not ultimatums. Feedback should be a shared problem to solve instead of a burden to bear. 7. End with perspective - Reaffirm their strengths and remind them that one issue does not define their value. Compassionate feedback allows honesty and humanity to coexist. It ensures that when people walk away, they feel respected, even if the message was hard to hear. This is a framework we use often at APS Intelligence. You can book a tailored workshop for your people managers or leadership cohorts to explore this further.

The more you inject empathy into your content, the better the results. Here's proof... 👇 AI is an incredible tool for content creation, but the secret sauce to truly stand-out messaging? Empathy and humanity. When you approach ChatGPT (or any AI tool) with empathy, you get more personalized, impactful, and human-centered content. Here’s why: 🧠 Understanding your audience’s feelings: Empathy helps you ask the right questions, resulting in content that resonates on a deeper emotional level. 🧠 Creating more relevant responses: You’re not just answering questions—you’re speaking to your audience’s lived experiences and values. 🧠 Improving tone and engagement: Content infused with empathy feels more conversational and less robotic, fostering trust and connection. Let me show you how this plays out in action: Before: ➡️ "Our nonprofit helps communities access better healthcare services. Donate today to support our mission." After applying empathy: ➡️ "Imagine not being able to access the healthcare you need. You’re scared, unsure what the future holds. That’s the reality for many communities we serve. But with your support, we can change that. Every donation brings us one step closer to ensuring no one is left behind when it comes to their health." Notice the difference? The second example connects with the reader’s emotions, creating a sense of urgency and responsibility. It's specific, and it invites the reader into a situation that makes them feel uncomfortable. This discomfort motivates them to solve (or prevent) a problem. As social impact leaders, when we build content rooted in empathy, we unlock more effective ways to connect with our audiences on a deeper level. If you're looking to build trust, authority, and credibility in your thought leadership, start by infusing empathy into every interaction.

Empathetic statements that make people feel heard and understood: “That makes sense.” “That’s a valid concern.” “Sounds like [restate what you heard].” “If I understand you correctly…” “So from your perspective…” “That seems [frustrating, challenging, overwhelming].” “That sounds difficult.” “Wow, that must be tough.” “I want to make sure I understand…” “What I’m hearing is [X]. Is that right?” "How so?" "What's your theory on why that is?" "What else?" "Sounds like you have a reason for saying that." "That must be hard." "Sounds difficult." "What has that been like for you?" There’s no script for making someone feel heard. It’s less about what to say and more about being curious, putting your agenda aside, and really listening. But I hope these examples inspire you to become the kind of listener people want to talk to.

Conversations that pull others down might feel insignificant in the moment, but they quietly shape the culture around us. Left unchecked, they create pockets of mistrust, trigger unhealthy competition, and eventually drag down the performance of even the strongest teams. Our role is to notice these early signals, address them with clarity, and reinforce an environment where people feel safe to speak up and show up as their best selves. A few practical reminders that help anchor this- What to do: » Encourage direct dialogue. Most issues resolve faster when people speak to each other, not about each other. » Be explicit about cultural expectations. Make it clear that gossip and political behavior have no place in the team. » Lead by example. Every interaction is a signal of what’s acceptable. » Reinforce positive intent. Spotlight honesty, collaboration, and constructive debate. » Build psychological safety. Ensure people can raise concerns without worrying about consequences. What to avoid: » Don’t crack jokes that ridicule people in the name of humor or wit. Trying to be funny at someone’s expense chips away at their self-esteem, strains relationships, and is rarely forgotten. Good humor doesn’t come at the cost of someone’s dignity. » Don’t dismiss small negative behaviors. That’s how they turn into norms. » Don’t indulge in conversations that attack individuals instead of solving problems. » Don’t jump to conclusions. Get the complete picture before forming a view. » Don’t let emotions dictate the response. Stay steady and fair. » Don’t let personal agendas derail collective goals. Teams do their best work when trust is high and politics is low. As leaders, shaping that environment is not a side task—it’s core to how we build sustainable performance. Gaurav Mehta Arnabi Marjit Ashutosh Kotwal Sanjay Mishra Bahar Shaikh Prasad Dixit Turlough Gorman Amy Teresa Adamos Maria C.

Teams often implement solutions that do not fix the problem they were trying to address. That's because the issue wasn’t framed correctly in the first place. This is especially true in complex or unfamiliar situations, where quick conclusions feel comforting but are often wrong. When I work with teams on decision-making, I turn to a framework developed by Julia Binder and Michael Watkins. Their E5 approach helps leaders define the right problem before trying to solve it. Phase 1: EXPAND Suspend early judgments and deliberately broaden how the challenge is understood. By exploring multiple interpretations of the issue, teams uncover hidden assumptions, surface blind spots, and create the conditions for more original thinking before jumping to answers. Phase 2: EXAMINE Shift from scope to depth. Teams analyze the problem rigorously, moving beyond visible symptoms to identify behavioral patterns, structural drivers, and underlying beliefs that reveal what is truly at play. Phase 3: EMPATHIZE Center on the perspectives of those most affected by the issue. Through (real) listening and reflection, teams gain insight into stakeholders’ motivations, emotions, concerns, and behaviors, often uncovering needs that data alone cannot reveal. Phase 4: ELEVATE Step back to see how it fits within the broader organization. Viewing the challenge through lenses such as structure, people, power, and culture exposes interdependencies and systemic tensions that shape outcomes. Phase 5: ENVISION Articulate a clear future state and map a path to reach it. Working backward from a shared definition of success, teams prioritize initiatives, sequence efforts, and align resources to move from understanding to execution. I've found that when leaders take the time to frame problems well, they increase the likelihood that those solutions will actually matter. #decisionMaking #leadership #perspective #learning #problems Source: The model is described in more details in this Harvard Business Review article: https://lnkd.in/gAeBb5uT

The Only Thing Worse Than a Toxic Workplace? A Pretend-Kindness Culture. 🚫😒 Let’s get real for a minute: We’ve all been there. That shiny, happy office facade where the smiles are as fake as the “open door” policy. So, let’s break down the do’s and don’ts of a genuinely kind culture vs. one that’s just playing dress-up. 🚫 Don't: Pretend to Care: Don't ask "How are you?" if you're going to zone out before hearing the answer. Genuine concern can’t be faked, and people can tell when you’re just checking a box. Hide Behind Happy Hours: Free drinks don’t compensate for a miserable 9-to-5. If your team dreads coming in every morning, no amount of beer or wine will fix that. Use 'Culture' as a Marketing Tool: Slapping "we care" on your website or job postings isn’t enough. It needs to be felt, not just read. Ignore Feedback: When your team speaks up about culture issues, don’t bury your head in the sand. Ignoring problems doesn’t make them disappear—it usually makes them worse. ✅ Do: Engage Authentically: Engage with your team on a real level. Know what makes them tick, what challenges they’re facing, and actually offer your support where needed. Support Beyond Words: Actions speak louder than the nicest mission statement. If you offer help, be ready to follow through when someone reaches out. Communicate with Transparency: Be honest about what’s going well and what isn’t. Cultures thrive on trust, not on propaganda. Lead by Example: Show kindness in your daily actions. If leadership cares authentically, it sets the tone for everyone else. 👉 Bottom Line: Real kindness isn’t just a glossy brochure or a clever social media campaign. It’s making the tough choices, having the hard conversations, and showing up for your team even when it’s not convenient. It’s about making your office a place where people don’t just survive – they thrive. Because here’s the thing – a fake kindness culture isn’t just ineffective. It’s destructive. It breeds cynicism and disengagement. If that’s the playbook you’re running, it’s time to rewrite it.

𝗪𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗩𝘂𝗹𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗪𝗮𝗹𝗸𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗕𝗼𝗮𝗿𝗱𝗿𝗼𝗼𝗺 The leadership team sat around the table — tension thick, uncertainty heavier. The organization was in flux, navigating multiple transformations and an AI wave that felt endless. Silence can be the loudest sound in a room full of leaders. Then the CEO stood up and said quietly, “I’ll be honest. I’m feeling overwhelmed by everything that’s changing. I’m trying to stay ahead, but it’s hard. I need your help.” For a moment, no one spoke. Then one leader said, “Thank you for saying that. I’ve been feeling the same.” Another added, “It’s reassuring to know I’m not alone in this.” Soon, voices filled the room — not with stress, but solidarity. The HR leader promised full partnership through the transition. Someone whispered, “If we’re in it together, we’ll make it work.” That day, pressure turned into partnership. Because one leader chose to be real, not perfect. 𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗩𝘂𝗹𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗧𝗿𝘂𝗹𝘆 𝗜𝘀 Vulnerability isn’t weakness — it’s emotional honesty. It’s the strength to show up as you are, not as the image leadership demands. When leaders reveal their humanity, they give others permission to do the same — building psychological safety and collective courage. 📊 Harvard Business Review notes that leaders who show vulnerability inspire trust and team resilience. Gallup finds that when people feel safe to be authentic, they’re 4.5× more engaged. 𝗞𝗲𝘆 𝗧𝗮𝗸𝗲𝗮𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀 1.Vulnerability builds bridges, not walls. It transforms fear into shared strength. 2.Transparency creates trust. Admitting uncertainty invites collaboration. 3. Real strength lies in truth. Perfection isolates, honesty connects. 𝗥𝗲𝗳𝗹𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗣𝗿𝗼𝗺𝗽𝘁𝘀 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗟𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀 1.When was the last time you said, “I don’t know” — and let your team step in? 2.What truth are you hiding in the name of “being strong”? 3. How might your openness model courage for your team? 𝗕𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗜𝘁 𝗕𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝘁𝗼 𝗧𝗲𝗮𝗺 𝗟𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 Vulnerability is the heartbeat of trust. It doesn’t make people follow you out of sympathy — it makes them walk beside you with confidence. As we continue 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑰𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒓 𝑬𝒅𝒈𝒆: Team Leadership Series, we’ll explore how authenticity, listening, and empathy shape stronger teams and braver leaders. 📩 Subscribe to 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑰𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒓 𝑬𝒅𝒈𝒆 for one thoughtful reflection each month — real stories, practical insights, no noise. 💬 What’s one moment of vulnerability that changed how your team worked together? #TheInnerEdge #TeamLeadership #Vulnerability #AuthenticLeadership #ReflectiveGrowth #QuietPower #InnerWorkOuterImpact #HR