Giving Constructive Feedback Effectively

At Radical Candor, I often hear the question, "How do I know if my feedback is landing?" The answer is simple but not always easy: Radical Candor is measured not at your mouth, but at the listener’s ear. It’s not about what you said, it’s about how the other person heard it and whether it led to meaningful dialogue and growth. Before you start giving feedback, remember the Radical Candor order of operations: get feedback before you give it. The best way to understand how another person thinks is to ask them directly and reward their candor. Next, give praise that is specific and sincere. This helps remind you what you appreciate about your colleagues, so when you do offer criticism, you can do it in the spirit of being helpful to someone you care about. When giving feedback, start in a neutral place. Don't begin at the outer edge of Challenge Directly, as this might come across as Obnoxious Aggression. Just make sure you're above the line on Care Personally and clear about what you're saying. Pay attention to how the other person responds - are they receptive, defensive, sad, or angry? Their reaction will guide your next steps. If someone becomes sad or angry, this is your cue to move up on the Care Personally dimension. Don't back off your challenge - that leads to Ruinous Empathy. Instead, acknowledge the emotion you're noticing: 'It seems like I've upset you.' Remember that emotions are natural and inevitable at work. Sometimes just giving voice to them helps both people cope better. If someone isn't hearing your feedback or brushing it off, you'll need to move further out on Challenge Directly. This can feel uncomfortable, but remember - clear is kind. You might say, 'I want to make sure I'm being as clear as possible' or 'I don't feel like I'm being clear.' Use 'I' statements and come prepared with specific examples. Most importantly, don't get discouraged if feedback conversations sometimes go sideways. We tend to remember the one time feedback went wrong and forget the nine times it helped someone improve and strengthened our relationship. Focus on optimizing for those nine successes rather than avoiding the one potential difficult conversation. Creating a culture of feedback takes time and practice. Each conversation is an opportunity to get better at both giving and receiving feedback. When you get it right, feedback becomes a powerful tool for building stronger relationships and achieving better results together. What’s one small adjustment you’ve made to give or receive better feedback? I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Leaders who avoid hard feedback aren’t protecting their people, they are setting them up to fail. Feedback is one of the most powerful tools we have in leadership but it’s also one of the most misused. Because leaders confuse compassion with avoidance, softening the truth until it loses all usefulness, or withholding it altogether under the guise of kindness. Compassionate feedback is about caring enough to be honest, in a way that allows other people to hear it. At APS Intelligence, we use a framework for compassionate feedback, designed to ensure that even difficult messages are delivered with clarity and respect: 1. Frame the feedback - Start by recognising effort and value to create psychological safety and remind people their work is seen and appreciated. 2. Ask permission - Feedback lands better when people feel like they have agency. Asking “Can I talk to you about something I’ve noticed?” is, as Dr. Shelby Hill says, a gentle knock on the door of someone’s psyche instead of barging in. 3. Be precise and objective - Describe what you’ve observed, not your interpretation of it. Feedback should focus on behaviour, not character. 4. Explain the impact - Share how the behaviour affects others or the work. Clarity about consequences builds accountability without blame. 5. Stay curious and open - Avoid assumptions. Ask questions that invite dialogue and understanding, not defence. 6. Collaborate on next steps - Offer support, not ultimatums. Feedback should be a shared problem to solve instead of a burden to bear. 7. End with perspective - Reaffirm their strengths and remind them that one issue does not define their value. Compassionate feedback allows honesty and humanity to coexist. It ensures that when people walk away, they feel respected, even if the message was hard to hear. This is a framework we use often at APS Intelligence. You can book a tailored workshop for your people managers or leadership cohorts to explore this further.

If your feedback isn't changing behavior, you're not giving feedback—you're just complaining. After 25 years of coaching leaders through difficult conversations, I've learned that most feedback fails because it focuses on making the giver feel better rather than making the receiver better. Why most feedback doesn't work: ↳ It's delivered months after the fact ↳ It attacks personality instead of addressing behavior ↳ It assumes the person knows what to do differently ↳ It's given when emotions are high ↳ It lacks specific examples or clear direction The feedback framework that actually changes behavior: TIMING: Soon, not eventually. Give feedback within 48 hours when possible Don't save it all for annual reviews. Address issues while they're still relevant. INTENT: Lead with purpose and use statements like - "I'm sharing this because I want to see you succeed" or "This feedback comes from a place of support." Make your positive intent explicit. STRUCTURE: Use the SBI Model. ↳Situation: When and where it happened ↳Behavior: What you observed (facts, not interpretations) ↳Impact: The effect on results, relationships, or culture COLLABORATION: Solve together by using statements such as - ↳"What's your perspective on this?" ↳"What would help you succeed in this area?" ↳"How can I better support you moving forward?" Great feedback is a gift that keeps giving. When people trust your feedback, they seek it out. When they implement it successfully, they become advocates for your leadership. Your feedback skills significantly impact your leadership effectiveness. Coaching can help; let's chat. | Joshua Miller What's the best feedback tip/advice, and what made it effective? #executivecoaching #communication #leadership #performance

“What’s wrong with me?” “I’m a stupid idiot.” “I can’t even get this done.” That’s my inner critic. The harsh judgemental voice that decimates me when I make a mistake. That magnifies my flaws, and undermines my abilities. I let it rip me apart because I thought I deserve it. The drained and awful feeling after that. There are many names for this condition. Some call it the perfectionist. Others call it the childhood trauma. I call it The Habit I am releasing. That critical voice inside our heads is the major obstacle to building self-confidence and achieving our goals. It was honed from past experiences but continues to fuel our fear and doubt. After coaching many senior executives on public speaking and confidence, I've seen how that harsh inner critic can hold them back from being their best, most confident selves. I've seen and felt the transformative power of learning to release it. I feel more energized and at peace. It’s a mindful work in progress. Here are some strategies I've found effective in releasing The Habit…gently. 🌟 Recognize the Critic The first step is to become aware of your inner critic. When you notice harsh or overly negative thoughts, pause and just observe it instead of being in it. 🌟 Name It. This allows separation from your true self. "That’s just Negative Nellie again" rather than accepting those thoughts as truth. 🌟 Challenge the Thoughts Question it. Is there actual evidence for this negative thought? Or what would you say to a friend in this situation? 🌟 Reframe Negative Self-Talk and use YET for a growth mindset. Instead of "I'm going to mess this up," say "This is an opportunity to learn and grow." Instead of "I can't do this," add the word "yet" to the end. "I can't do this... yet." 🌟 Embrace Self-Compassion Treat yourself with the same kindness you'd offer someone you love. When you make a mistake, instead of harsh self-criticism, offer yourself understanding and encouragement. Building an encouraging inner voice is a process that takes time and practice. With consistent effort, we can create an inner dialogue that lifts us up to achieve our biggest dreams and goals. What strategies have you found helpful in managing your inner critic? #Confidence #GeorginaChangCommunications

Giving feedback used to feel daunting. That pit-in-the-stomach feeling before every  conversation. But here’s what I’ve learned: Feedback isn’t the enemy of good relationships. It’s what makes them stronger. The problem isn’t feedback.  It’s how most of us were taught to give it. We learned to point out what’s wrong. To focus on mistakes. To make people feel small. But what if we flipped the script? ➡️ What if instead of: “You should have known better” 💡We said: “What can we learn from this for next time?” ➡️ Instead of: “That’s not how we do things here” 💡 We said: “Let me show you our approach, and why it works.” ➡️ Instead of: “You’re not meeting expectations” 💡 We said: “Here’s what needs to improve, and how to get there.” The shift isn’t just in the words. It’s in the mindset. When we lead with curiosity instead of judgment, People stop defending, and start problem-solving. When we focus on the path forward, They come to you sooner, before things fall apart. When we make it safe to struggle, They try harder things. Feedback becomes less like criticism,  and more like collaboration. The conversations I once dreaded? Now they’re some of my most meaningful  moments as a leader. Because feedback done right isn’t about being critical. It’s about being helpful. And that shift? It changes everything. ♻️ If this resonates, repost for your network. 📌 Follow Amy Gibson for more leadership insights.

10 minutes into training 40 Fortune 500 execs… I realized I was losing the room. They were nodding politely. But the energy was flat like my TV In a blink, I checked out like they were thinking: ‘We’ve heard this before’ So I stopped mid-sentence. 3 2 1…took a breath, and asked: “How many of you leave tough conversations feeling like you said everything except what you actually wanted to say?” 32 hands went up. Silence That’s when I knew: This wasn’t a “teach” moment. It was a pivot moment. So I scrapped the slide deck And showed them something real: The 4R Framework A tool to turn conversation anxiety into clear, confident communication: 1. RECOGNIZE: Notice the signals Tight chest→racing thoughts→dry mouth Your body’s talking. What is it trying to tell you? 2. REFRAME: Shift the story From: This is happening to me To: This is happening for me How is this conversation helping me grow? 3. RESPOND: Choose your words with intention That’s not fair→ Can we look at this another way? You’re wrong→ Can I share a different perspective? What response would I be proud of tomorrow? 4. REFLECT: Extract the learning Not: That went terribly But: What did that teach me? How can I show up better next time? The shift was immediate. By the end of the session: ✅ 3 people had mapped out tough conversations they’d been avoiding ✅ 2 managers committed to changing how they deliver feedback ✅ 1 leader finally decided to have “the talk” with an underperforming team member That’s the power of clarity under pressure. 📍(Sometimes the first step into corporate feels bigger than graduation itself. I’ve been working on something that will make that step lighter for you. Stay tuned!) P.S. Which “R” gave you the biggest breakthrough? #CorporateTraining #Leadership #CommunicationSkills #EmotionalIntelligence #ManagementTips #LinkedInLearning #ExecutiveCoaching

So many of us have sat in performance reviews feeling unsure of what to say, how to advocate for ourselves, or how to make sure our work is seen. I’ve been there too; on both sides of the conversation. What I’ve learned over the years is this: Reviews don’t create clarity. People do. And clarity grows from trust. When trust isn’t present, employees walk away questioning themselves, replaying the conversation, or feeling like essential pieces of their contribution were missed. But with the right tools, review conversations can become moments of truth, growth, and affirmation, not cringe, anxiety, and stress. That’s why I created a companion guide to the manager resource I posted yesterday: Navigate Your Review With Confidence. It's a concise, five-page guide designed to help employees: • Prepare for review conversations with clarity • Ask for the specifics they need • Advocate for recognition without feeling uncomfortable • Stay grounded when emotions or surprises arise • Turn feedback into meaningful next steps This guide is rooted in my Seven Trust Languages framework and designed to support anyone entering a review, whether you’re early in your career, transitioning roles, or stepping into leadership. If you know someone who is gearing up for their review, feel free to share it with them. Here’s to review conversations that center trust, confidence, and honest reflection. #Career #PerformanceReviews #SevenTrustLanguages #Trust #professionalDevelopment #Annualreview

CEOs ask: “How do I get my team to take feedback well?” My answer: ”Don’t start by giving feedback. Start by taking it.” Here’s a story of how we built our Feedback culture… Most new employees at 321 Education went through an induction in their first few weeks. As CEO, I would often conduct the 1st week. At the end of each day we would take a survey: → Were they satisfied with the sessions ? → What was working ? → What was not ? → Any suggestions ? Standard stuff. But what was different was what happened next morning. I would start the day by sharing the feedback we got: → I would share the aggregate data and my views on it. If it was not great I would share my plans to improve the next day’s score. → I would then highlight everything they said was working & our plans to double down on this. → Finally I shared everything they said was not working & their suggestions. I broke them in 2 lists: Suggestions we will apply and those we won’t. For both lists I gave reasons why. This process would go on every day for the entire induction. At the end of this period 3 things happened: 1) Our new employees saw that, for us, feedback was not just talk. It was deeply embedded in our ways of working. 2) Everyday they saw examples of how to take feedback well. From the CEO to every person they encountered was open to feedback & took it positively 3) They also saw that feedback was not an appeasement activity. We wouldn’t just do something because they suggested it. We had clear objectives & suggestions which helped in their attainment were adopted & rest were not. For both clear reasons were given. Note, till now, very little feedback had been given from us to them. Most of it was from them to us. Then when we gave them feedback they were a lot more open to it. Also they had examples they could emulate of how to take it well. Soon, taking & giving feedback well became a part of how they operated. This is how the culture of feedback at the organisation was sustained even as we grew rapidly. No big intervention was required for this. Just atomic actions done regularly. #Culture #Feedback #Management ——————————————— What’s your favorite way to build a feedback culture in a team?

𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝗜 𝗴𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗰𝗿𝘂𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗳𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗺𝘆 𝗧𝗲𝗮𝗺? There was a phase where I thought “good feedback” means being direct. So I was direct. And slowly, I started noticing something painful. People were doing the work. But they were shrinking.  • They stopped sharing drafts early.  • Stopped asking questions.  • Stopped taking bold ownership. Not because they were weak. Because feedback started feeling like a verdict, not guidance. That’s when I learned something as a founder and as a leader: 𝗠𝗼𝘀𝘁 𝗽𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝗱𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗳𝗲𝗮𝗿 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸. 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗳𝗲𝗮𝗿 𝘀𝗵𝗮𝗺𝗲. So I changed how I speak. Here’s the structure I use now: 1. Name the intention first “I’m saying this because I want you to grow here.” 2. Talk about the behavior, not the personality Not “you’re careless”, But “these details were missed.” 3. Make the impact clear “This affects trust, timelines, and how the team relies on you.” 4. Ask for context before judgment “What made this hard?” Honestly, Sometimes it’s overload. Sometimes it’s unclear expectations. 5. Set the next standard in a simple, repeatable way “Next time, use this 2 minute checklist. And share the draft earlier.” 6. End with belief “I’m telling you this because I trust you can handle it.” 𝗜𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘃𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘀𝗺𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗿, 𝗜 𝗹𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝘁 𝘄𝗿𝗼𝗻𝗴. Feedback is not a punishment. It’s a leadership tool to build people who stay confident while getting better. #Leadership #TeamCulture #Management #Founders #PeopleFirst

Any feedback no matter how constructive felt like a personal attack. Whether it was from a client pointing out a mistake, a friend offering advice, or even my own inner voice telling me I wasn't good enough, it stung. What I’ve realized over time is that I’ve been too attached to my work. Every piece of feedback felt like it was about me, not just the work I was doing. When a client pointed something out, I’d scramble to fix it, trying to make everything perfect. But when it came from friends, it was harder. I took their words to heart. And then there was that voice inside my head—the one that never seemed to be satisfied. Always pushing me to do more, to be more, to be perfect. I held myself to standards that were impossible to meet, thinking that if I wasn’t perfect, I was failing. But here’s the thing I’ve learned: criticism isn’t about who I am. It’s about what I’m doing. I’ve started to see feedback as just that feedback. A chance to grow, to improve, and to get better. There are moments when my first instinct is to get defensive or feel discouraged. But now, instead of reacting immediately, I take a moment to pause, breathe, and process. I’m learning to separate myself from my work, realizing that one doesn’t define the other. And you know what?  It’s been a game-changer. Criticism doesn’t hold the same weight anymore. I can accept it, learn from it, and move on. Because the truth is, criticism is part of the process. It’s part of growth. It’s how we evolve and build something meaningful. It’s about how we respond to it. P.S. Fellow founders, how do you handle criticism?