Mentorship & Coaching

Women are not losing ambition; they are losing patience with environments that punish it. The real story is not an ambition gap, but a support, fairness, and respect gap. One of the earliest pieces of career advice I received was: “To progress, you need to have ambition.” Over 24 years in the corporate world, that's been a double edged sword - I have been praised for being driven and, in the same breath, criticised for being “too ambitious.” I have also sat in talent reviews where women were quietly written off as “not ambitious enough". In 2022, during a leadership review, a male colleague even said out loud: “Women don’t progress because they don’t have ambition .” 𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁 𝗴𝗲𝘁𝘀 𝘄𝗿𝗼𝗻𝗴 The latest Lean In and McKinsey Women in the Workplace report highlights a growing ambition gap: fewer women than men say they want to be promoted. Yet the same data make something else crystal clear: women and men are equally committed to their careers, and when women receive the same sponsorship, support, and stretch opportunities as men, the ambition gap largely disappears. So the issue is not that women suddenly woke up less driven; it is that many are looking at the “next level” and seeing more burnout, less support, and fewer real chances to succeed. In that context, stepping back from the race is not a lack of ambition - it is a rational response to a system that feels rigged. 𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝟮𝟬+ 𝘆𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝗰𝗼𝗿𝗽𝗼𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗹𝗱 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗲𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂 For roughly the first 15–20 years, many women respond to blocked opportunities with even more effort and ambition: working harder & overdelivering. When doors are repeatedly closed with vague feedback like “lack of executive presence,” or “too emotional,” frustration accumulates. After decades of having to prove yourself again and again, it is not ambition that runs out; it is the willingness to keep playing a game where the rules feel opaque and uneven. That is one of the reasons so many experienced women leave corporate roles or step off the traditional ladder mid-career. 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹 𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗲𝗿 𝗮𝗱𝘃𝗶𝗰𝗲 The complete career advice is: protect your ambition by choosing workplaces where: Support systems, fair processes, and allyship actively enable women’s progression. Sponsorship, not just mentorship, is in place so that women are advocated for, not just advised. Policies, leadership behaviour, and culture reduce burnout. Because ambition without support does not magically create opportunity; it only creates exhaustion, cynicism, and burnout. What would your organisation need to change so that they would choose to stay and grow? #careeradvice ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ I have learned a lot during my 2 decades in the corporate world, mostly the hard way. Every Sunday, I share some of my learnings and what has helped me climb the corporate ladder while staying true to my values

Women are overmentored and underchampioned. Every career advice panel, every women’s leadership summit, HR initiative lands on the same answer: find a mentor. Get guidance. Have someone to talk to about your career. We have plenty of people willing to give us advice. Sit us down and tell us to be more confident. Review our resumes. Suggest we think about how we’re coming across. Remind us it’s a marathon not a sprint. Reassure us that our time will come. Pat us on the head and send us back to wait our turn. What we don’t have are people in rooms we’re not in, saying our names when opportunities come up. People who will stake their reputation on us. People who will say “she’s ready.” People who will hand us the thing instead of coaching us endlessly on how to ask for it. Mentorship is someone talking to you. Sponsorship is someone betting on you. One of them changes careers. The other makes you feel supported while you watch mediocre men get promoted while you’re told ‘your attitude needs work’. Mentorship is a way of appearing to help women without redistributing any power. It costs nothing to give advice. You get to feel generous, get credit for caring, and never have to spend political capital. Meanwhile sponsorship costs something. Saying “I want her on this project”. Telling the CEO “she should be in this meeting”. Pushing back when someone says “she’s not quite ready yet”. Which is why so few people do it. Men get sponsored automatically. Men are presumed competent and promoted on potential while women are required to prove ourselves over and over and get promoted only on undeniable performance. A senior guy sees himself in the young guy, takes an interest, pulls him up. It’s just how things work. Meanwhile women get told to go find a mentor. Make it happen for yourself. The labour of our own advancement is always on us. “Find a mentor” assumes the problem is that we haven’t networked hard enough, haven’t asked the right questions, haven’t been proactive. That if we just read the right books and had the right conversations we’d finally crack the code. Meanwhile the actual decision-makers are busy sponsoring people who look like them. I’ve had mentors. Lovely people.. They told me what to read, how to navigate politics, when to push and when to wait. Very helpful. You know what actually moved my career? The few people who put me in rooms, made introductions that mattered, handed me opportunities. Who didn’t wait for me to be ready but decided I was ready and acted like it. So here’s my advice: stop looking for mentors. Stop asking senior women for coffee. Stop trying to absorb wisdom from people who have no intention of actually helping you get anywhere. Look for people with power and watch what they do with it. Are they talking to you or are they spending capital on you? Are they coaching you for the opportunity or creating it? Are they helping you get ready or are they deciding you are? Enough mentorship. Stick your neck out.

The saying “It’s not what you know, but who you know” still holds true for career progression, but for women, building those all-important connections comes with extra hurdles. Research published in the Academy of Management Journal, highlighted by Harvard Business Review, shows that women face greater barriers than men when it comes to forming high-status networks. One striking finding? Women are 40% less likely than men to form strong ties with senior leaders after face-to-face interactions. Traits like assertiveness and confidence—often linked with leadership—are judged through a traditional gendered lens, which means women's and other marginalised genders contributions can be overlooked. So, what’s the solution? Women can leverage third-party introductions, which often carry implicit endorsement and help sidestep these biases. In fact, the research shows women are more likely than men to succeed in building high-status networks through shared contacts. Organisations also need to step up by creating network sponsorship programmes, where leaders don’t just mentor women—they actively advocate for them, opening doors and making introductions that help women advance. It’s time for organisations to rethink how they approach networking. By fostering more inclusive, proactive strategies, we can break down barriers and create a level playing field for women to build the connections that will drive their careers forward. Let’s turn "who you know" into an opportunity for everyone. #Networking #GenderEquity #ThreeBarriers

My top takeaways from executive coach Rachel Lockett: 1. The biggest skill gap in new leaders is knowing when to coach vs. when to tell people what to do. When you constantly provide answers, you train your team to bring you every problem instead of building their own problem-solving skills. The people you hire are experts in their domain—ask curious questions to help them reach their own solutions, which makes them more motivated and capable. Save direct advice for urgent situations or when someone genuinely lacks the necessary skills. 2. Use these four questions to coach someone to figure out the answer or themselves: When someone brings you a problem, use GROW: Goal, Reality, Options, and Way forward. Ask about their desired goal (what does success look like?), their current reality (where are you stuck?), possible options for a path forward (what could you do next?), and a concrete way forward (what will you actually do next?). These questions help people discover solutions they already have the context to find. You don’t need to follow this exact order; just use whichever type fits the moment. 3. Use this four-step framework for difficult conversations: Observations, Feelings, Needs, Requests. Start with factual observations anyone could verify (not interpretations). Share your feelings without blame (I felt anxious, confused, disconnected—not “I feel like you. . .”). Name your underlying human needs (clarity, collaboration, connection). Make a small, achievable request the other person can actually fulfill. Stay on your side of the net—talk about your experience, not what you assume about them. This lets you be bold without triggering defensiveness. 4. In conflict, aim for mutual understanding, not proving you’re right. When you enter a difficult conversation trying to convince someone they’re wrong, they become defensive and armor up. Instead, focus on helping the other person understand your experience so they can empathize and see clearly what’s happening. This shift from convincing to connecting creates space for genuine dialogue where both people can be heard and find solutions together. 5. Burnout happens when you spend too much time outside your natural strengths, not just from working too hard. For two weeks, write down the five things each day that energized you most and the five that drained you most. Look for patterns. People burn out not just from working hard but from spending too much time doing things that deplete them—even if they’re good at those things. 6. Co-founder relationships need scheduled maintenance time, like marriages. Sixty-five percent of startups fail because of co-founder conflict, not business problems. Set up regular check-ins—weekly touch-bases, monthly lunches, quarterly in-person reviews—to ask: How is this working for you? Are we aligned on vision and strategy? What am I doing that frustrates you? What’s gone unsaid?

“Women and People of Color are over mentored and under sponsored.” I shared this during yesterday’s Gallup and WOHASU ® Women’s Wellbeing Panel because it’s a reality we must confront. 💡Research from the Center for Talent Innovation reveals the stark truth: • 71% of sponsors say they’re helping protégés advance, but only 30% of protégés agree. • The numbers are even more troubling for Black employees, with just 5% feeling sponsored in their workplaces. Sponsorship isn’t just about guidance—it’s about action. Sponsors advocate, open doors, and use their influence to elevate others. Here’s what sponsorship looks like in practice: • Advocating for high-visibility projects: Recommending someone for a leadership role or a game-changing initiative. • Speaking up in key rooms: Endorsing their abilities and readiness for promotions during executive discussions. • Leveraging personal networks: Making introductions that lead to pivotal career opportunities. I’m forever grateful to my former boss, Jim Clifton, for being not just a mentor but a true sponsor in my career. His advocacy transformed my opportunities and trajectory in ways I’ll never forget. Sponsorship isn’t just a ‘nice-to-have’—it’s a necessity for building equitable workplaces. Who are you sponsoring? How can we do better? Let’s continue this important conversation. #EquityInAction #Leadership #WomenInLeadership #SponsorshipMatters #Gallup #WOHASU

Nothing impacts leadership success more than how you start. Here's my Week 1 Playbook for New Managers: There are many reasons more managers fail than succeed. And those mistakes often start in week 1. Study and bookmark this playbook. It'll help you skip my mistakes. And the ones I've seen hundreds of managers make. 5 COMMON NEW MANAGER MISTAKES ❌ Racing to prove value • Rushing changes to show impact • Undermining emerging trust ❌ Skipping 1:1 connections • Relying on group meetings • Missing crucial context ❌ Leading with authority • Flexing positional power • Creating resistance ❌ Focusing on tasks • Diving into operational details • Missing subtle team dynamics ❌ Promising quick fixes • Making commitments without context • Setting impossible expectations 5 WISE NEW MANAGER MOVES: ✅ Study before stepping in • Review metrics, plans, org charts • Enter conversations prepared ✅ Lead with vulnerability • Share past failures openly • Build psychological safety ✅ Invest in relationships • Meet everyone individually • Learn names + personal details ✅ Gather intelligence • Ask powerful questions • Listen more than talk ✅ Communicate constantly • Share insights and questions • Keep team in the transparency loop The biggest surprise in Week 1: You're leading from behind. • Be respectful. • Be curious. • Be you. And you'll be rewarded with trust and momentum in Week 2. PS - Even if you're not a new manager, most of this playbook can be used to reset with a struggling team. Fresh eyes = A fresh start. If this was helpful: ♻️ Please repost to help other leaders start strong ✅ Follow Dave Kline for more practical management insights.

I am (not) your mother, Luke.   Or your sister. Or girlfriend. Or your wife.   I am your boss.   And yet, as a female leader, I often found that my team members unconsciously placed me in a caregiving role. Which triggered in me a need to nurture them, which undermined my authority, and was no good for any of us.   I’m not alone in this. Many of the women leaders I work with in my role as mentor say the same thing. That when they have to make tough decisions, they get reactions that their male equivalents simply don’t have to face.   👩👦 The ‘mother’ role. You’re expected to be nurturing, to provide emotional support and protection. And any criticism may be taken as harsh, like being told off by mummy. 👩 The ‘sister’ role: You’re expected to be friendly, collaborative and fun. Assertiveness can be misread as aggression. 👰♀️ The ‘girlfriend / wife’ role: You’re expected to take on emotional labour, be a supportive ear, or even hand conflict in a soothing manner. These roles are a trap for women in business, where they feel that they have to balance warmth with authority, competence with compassion. And it’s exhausting!   The struggle is real ❌ Women may struggle to progress if they don’t conform to caregiving expectations ❌ Feedback from women leaders is more likely to be taken personally, rather than as professional guidance ❌ Women leaders may try to do it all, fulfilling both emotional and professional expectations – leading to burnout   To avoid this trap, women often try to take on what they perceive as a male archetype – becoming cold and harsh. But that’s not the best way forward. The answer is authenticity. How to be just you ✅ Educate your team and yourself about these biases – knowing about them is the first step to avoiding them ✅ Set boundaries – be clear about professional expectations versus personal involvement ✅ Communicate honestly – don’t feel you have to soften your message, be direct and clear ✅ Support other women – advocate for structures that allow women to lead without having to take on caregiving expectations. It’s time women stopped trying to be everything to everyone and focused on being just the very best version of themselves.   What about you? Are you a female leader who finds herself being put in these boxes? Are you a man working with women who expects them to be the caregivers? Let me know! ⬇️

I spent too many years thinking my boss was responsible for my career. Or the company. Or a magical fairy godmother. I thought it was everyone else’s job to advocate for me. To push me. To help me advance and grow. And I completely missed the fact that it was me. It was always ME. Our job is to be the biggest advocate for our careers. We are in the driver’s seat. And we can’t take a back seat and expect someone else to do the driving. Here are ten ways to start advocating for your career not tomorrow, TODAY: 1️⃣ Take a seat at front of the table, not at the back of the room. Be visible. Log onto that Zoom early, make sure people know you are there. Don’t shrink to the corner of the screen or room. 2️⃣ Raise your hand 🙋🏾♀️ Ask that question. Show you’re engaged and thoughtful and there to contribute. I always ask a question early on in the meeting to build my confidence to contribute more later. 3️⃣ Ask to be put on that assignment Make sure you are working on assignments that are priorities for the company. Especially in this market. 4️⃣ Coach your peers on their work You don’t have to have direct reports to have influence. Guide peers who ask for your help: position yourself for the next level by acting like you are at the next level. 5️⃣ Build a career development plan If your boss won’t help you do this, ask a colleague to be a sounding boarding or a friend outside of work. Understand what your goals are this year and what you want your next two roles to be. 6️⃣ Focus on one new skill you want to build What’s one new skill you want to learn that can help with your career growth? Pick it and commit to it. Block 30 minutes on your calendar daily to work on it. Make this time non negotiable. 7️⃣ Take credit for your work Even if they won’t let you in that meeting, share what you are working on with others. Whether that’s it in 1:1 conversations or in team meetings, make sure you let others know the impact you are making. 8️⃣ Get meaningful feedback If your boss keeps saying you’re killing it or avoids giving your feedback, ask others. Show up with what you think your strengths are and areas of opportunity to get their reactions. 9️⃣ Keep a track of your wins Start a Google doc or grab a notebook, and down all of your wins and the end of every month. This makes it easier to do your self evaluation during performance review time and update your resume. 🔟 Always have your resume ready Whether you are looking for internal or external, always have your resume ready. And make sure it’s not saved on your work lap, especially in this market where layoffs are happening every day. How do you advocate for yourself at work? #leadership #culture #inclusion #MitaMallick

𝗜𝗳 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗔𝗿𝗲 𝗟𝗮𝗶𝗱 𝗼𝗳𝗳 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗿𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗺𝗮𝗿𝗸𝗲𝘁 𝗮𝘀 𝗮 𝗖𝗹𝗼𝘂𝗱 𝗘𝗻𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗿 𝗼𝗿 𝗖𝗹𝗼𝘂𝗱 𝗔𝗜 𝗘𝗻𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗿... 𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗱 𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 Most of the advice out there tells you: “Update your resume. Network more. Get a professional level cert.” That’s not whats going to get their attention. Here’s what does: 👉🏾 𝗦𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗸 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗮 𝗯𝘂𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗻𝗲𝗿, 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗮𝗻 𝗲𝗻𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗿. ❌ If you only "talk" about AWS services or AI models, you sound like 90% of resumes on the desk. ✅ If you can say, “𝗜 𝗿𝗲𝗱𝘂𝗰𝗲𝗱 𝗰𝗹𝗼𝘂𝗱 𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗻𝗱 𝗯𝘆 𝟮𝟬% 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗼-𝘀𝗰𝗮𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗽𝗼𝗹𝗶𝗰𝗶𝗲𝘀” or “𝗜 𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗹𝗲𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗺𝗼𝗻𝗶𝘁𝗼𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗰𝗮𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁 $𝟱𝟬𝗞 𝗶𝗻 𝗳𝗿𝗮𝘂𝗱 𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗺𝗽𝘁𝘀,” you move into the top 10% of the pile. 👉🏾 𝗔𝗜 + 𝗖𝗹𝗼𝘂𝗱 𝗶𝘀𝗻’𝘁 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗵𝘆𝗽𝗲. 𝗜𝘁’𝘀 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗰𝗮𝘀𝗲𝘀. ❌ Don’t tell them you know SageMaker or Azure OpenAI. ✅ Show them how you applied it to solve a real business problem, fraud detection, customer churn, forecasting, compliance. That’s what separates buzzword users from people who looks like the right hire. (Those buzzwords will get your a** in trouble) 👉🏾 𝗣𝗿𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗲𝘅𝗲𝗰𝘂𝘁𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝘂𝗻𝗰𝗲𝗿𝘁𝗮𝗶𝗻𝘁𝘆. ❌ They don’t need someone who think they know everything. ✅  They need someone who can pick up a new tool, learn fast, and deliver under pressure. Document your projects. Share how you diagnosed issues. Talk about trade-offs you made. 👉🏾 𝗥𝗲𝗺𝗲𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗿: 𝗹𝗮𝘆𝗼𝗳𝗳𝘀 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗰𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗶𝗼𝘂𝘀. If you just got laid off through a restructure, You should want to bring stability back to your career, not just skills. Show up and be consistent in your learning and training. Show yourself that you can be trusted with outcomes, not just tasks. The market is tough, yes. But from my seat, the people who land first are the ones who stop selling skills, and start showing 𝗯𝘂𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗮𝗰𝘁, 𝗮𝗱𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗮𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗿𝘂𝘀𝘁𝘄𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀. That may get your hired a little bit faster. Build Trust.

I once sat in a performance review where a female colleague received feedback like, "You need to soften your tone in meetings." Meanwhile, her male counterpart got advice about honing his skills in digital marketing to drive better results. This wasn't an isolated incident. Women are often given feedback on their style—how they speak, how they present themselves—while men are given feedback on their skills and performance. This difference is subtle but significant. When we tell women to adjust their style but don’t offer specific, actionable guidance on improving their roles, we hold them back from real growth. It sends the message that success is about fitting in rather than developing the skills that actually move the needle. The impact? Women miss out on critical opportunities for advancement. They don't get the feedback they need to improve in measurable ways while men are groomed for the next significant role. We need to change this if we want to see more women in leadership. It starts with giving women the same actionable, skill-based feedback we offer men. Instead of vague critiques, we need to focus on growth areas tied to business outcomes. For example, rather than saying, "You need to be less direct," say, "Deepen your analytics knowledge so we can optimize our strategy." Clear, actionable feedback empowers women to build the expertise they need to move forward. It’s how we help them close performance gaps, earn promotions, and contribute to the organization's growth. We all have a role to play in this. Giving women the feedback they need isn’t just about helping them—it’s about strengthening the entire team and creating a more equitable workplace. What’s one way you can provide actionable feedback today? Tired of watching women get vague feedback that holds them back? Subscribe to the ELEVATE newsletter for no-nonsense advice on giving women the feedback they need to grow, thrive, and lead—because it's time we start getting real about progress. https://elevateasia.org/