How to Handle Difficult Coworkers

Working with people you find difficult is no joke. It can impact your well-being, your performance, and definitely your ability to enjoy your job. For Harvard Business Review, I shared 7 strategies to help you work more effectively with challenging coworkers, whether you're dealing with an insecure boss, a passive-aggressive peer, or someone whose behavior simply gets under your skin (we all know people like that!). Here’s a quick overview: 1️⃣ Remember your perspective is just one of many. We all see situations through our own lens. Try asking yourself: Could I be wrong? 2️⃣ Be aware of your biases. From confirmation bias to affinity bias, our brains take shortcuts that often distort how we perceive others, especially those who are different from us. 3️⃣ Don’t make it “me against them.” Reframe the conflict as a shared problem to solve, not a personal battle to win. 4️⃣ Know your goal. What are you actually trying to achieve - peace, productivity, recognition? Let that intention guide how you show up. 5️⃣ Be careful with venting and gossip. Some venting can be helpful, if done the right way. But negatively intended gossip can harden your view, damage your credibility, and reinforce negativity. 6️⃣ Experiment to find what works. Try small behavior shifts and observe the impact. If one approach doesn’t work, try another. Think of it as an experiment, not a fix. 7️⃣ Stay curious. Certainty keeps us stuck. Curiosity opens the door to empathy, creativity, and sometimes even resolution. These aren’t quick fixes - nothing worthwhile is - but they can help you feel more grounded and less reactive, even when someone else’s behavior doesn’t change. Link to the full article is in the comments 👇 Image alt text: How to Navigate Conflict with a Coworker

Have you ever worked with someone who you can’t quite unlock? That colleague or boss who leaves you scratching your head, wondering what makes them tick? Or even worse — you THINK you have them figured out…until you clearly don’t. If there's one thing I've learned in my years of communication coaching (and my 53 years as a human) it's that when someone seems "unlockable," it's often because we're using the wrong approach to connect. Here are four strategies that can help you find that elusive key: 1. Observe them in different contexts. We all show different facets of ourselves depending on the situation. Notice how they interact in meetings versus one-on-ones. Do they light up during client presentations but withdraw during team lunches? These patterns provide valuable clues about their communication preferences and what energizes them versus what depletes them. 2. Ask open-ended #questions that invite #storytelling. Instead of direct questions about preferences ("Do you like X?"), try open-ended questions that invite narrative: "What's been your most interesting project here?" or "What's something you’re looking forward to this summer?" Stories reveal values and priorities that might otherwise remain hidden. 3. Test different currencies of appreciation. Some people value public recognition, others prefer private acknowledgment. Try different approaches to see which resonates. When you find what they value, you've found a key to connection. 4. Seek insight from their trusted #allies. Who does this person seem to connect with naturally? Without gossiping, you might say to that colleague, "I notice you and Shira work well together. I'd love to collaborate more effectively with her - any insights on how she prefers to communicate?" Remember: When someone seems "unlockable," it doesn't mean they're deliberately withholding the combination. They may not even realize they seem inaccessible. Approach with genuine curiosity rather than frustration. The most important combination to this lock? Patience paired with positive intent. Building connection takes time, especially with those who don't immediately reveal what makes them tick. #ProfessionalRelationships #WorkplaceCommunication #LeadershipSkills #ConnectionAtWork #Coaching #DEIB

One thing separates extraordinary communicators and teams from the rest: candor. The courage to speak what’s really on your mind, to say what needs saying, even when it’s risky. Most people get this wrong. Here’s how to do it right: Picture this: You’re the boss, having a tough conversation with your team: You’re asking Mary to try something new and she resists. Your first instinct is to smooth things over or lean on authority. Don’t do that because that’s a trap. Teams that avoid hard conversations fail, not because of lack of skill, but because they protect comfort over results. The fix is to lean into candor and care enough to be honest. Try this: Before the conversation, remind yourself: I care about Mary’s success. I care about the team. I care too much not to say something. Then ask: → What’s not being said? → What obstacles might she be facing? → How can we find a solution that serves both of us? Now flip it: you’re the employee speaking up to your boss. High stakes. Nerves tight. What do you do? Ask yourself: “How will this help them? How will this move the team forward?” → Will it save time? → Make outcomes better? → Help the business win? Bring clarity, solutions, and courage. Leave complaints, silence, and friction behind. Here’s a recap: → Speaking up down the ladder? Care enough to be candid. → Speaking up up the ladder? Make it clear, useful, and grounded in shared success. Candor grows the more you practice it.

How to Handle a Colleague Who Interrupts or Shadows You Client: “Shivani, I’m so frustrated! Every time I speak, one colleague cuts me off or tries to overshadow me.” Shivani: “I hear you. Let’s solve this. There are smart ways to handle it without looking rude or weak.” Client: “I just stop talking or let them continue…” Shivani: “That’s where you lose ground. Silence here = giving away your presence. You need polite assertion.” Client: “But I get so angry inside.” Shivani: “Normal. But breathe. If you react with anger, you look defensive. Stay calm = you look in control.” Client: “Interrupt them back? Won’t that seem rude?” Shivani: “Not if done with grace. Example: ‘I’ll just finish my point, then I’d love to hear you.’ Polite. Firm. Balanced.” Client: “Sometimes words don’t work.” Shivani: “Exactly. Use your body. Lean slightly forward, maintain eye contact, keep your voice steady. Non-verbal presence = power.” Client: “What if they still keep going?” Shivani: “Acknowledge them briefly, then redirect. Example: ‘That’s a good point—let me complete my thought and we’ll circle back.’ This shows maturity and control.” Client: “What if they keep doing it again and again?” Shivani: “Repeat your line calmly: ‘Let me finish first.’ Repetition signals seriousness without aggression.” Client: “Should I complain to the boss?” Shivani: “First, try a direct, private talk. ‘I’ve noticed you often jump in before I finish. Can we balance it better?’ Sometimes people don’t realize they do it.” Client: “And if nothing changes?” Shivani: “Then raise it tactfully in meetings: ‘I’d like to complete my point, and then we can open the floor.’ If it continues, involve your manager—frame it as a productivity issue, not personal.” Client: “Wow Shivani, I never thought I could handle this politely without looking weak.” Shivani: “Exactly. Remember: Assertiveness is not aggression. It’s clarity + respect. Hold your ground, but with grace.” You don’t have to raise your voice to raise your presence. 🔹 Be calm, be clear, be consistent. 🔹 Don’t fight for space—own it with composure. ⸻ #ExecutivePresence #CommunicationSkills #Assertiveness #LeadershipDevelopment #ProfessionalEtiquette #ConflictManagement #WorkplaceWisdom #SoftSkillsTrainer #ImageCoachShivani #LeadershipCommunication

Workplace bullying isn't just a personal struggle. It’s a leadership and culture challenge. If you've ever felt undermined, silenced, or consistently targeted at work, know this: You're not alone. And it’s not something you have to endure silently. Bullying in the workplace can take many forms: ↳ verbal attacks ↳ exclusion ↳ undermining contributions Whatever the method, the impact is the same: It’s exhausting It's demoralizing It can affect your confidence, creativity, and mental health. But here's the good news: There are steps you can take to reclaim your voice and set boundaries that protect your well-being: 1. Recognize It for What It Is: → Bullying thrives in silence and ambiguity. → Acknowledge the behavior and name it. → Understanding that the issue lies with the bully, not you. 2. Document Everything: → Keep a record of incidents. → This isn't about being petty—it's about protecting yourself with facts. 3. Establish Boundaries: → Bullies often test limits. → Clearly communicate your boundaries in a calm, professional manner. 4. Seek Support: → Talk to trusted colleagues, mentors, or HR. → Sharing your experiences can help validate your feelings and provide you with practical advice. 5. Prioritize Your Well-Being: → It’s hard to stand strong when you’re running on empty. → Protect your energy by focusing on what truly matters. 6. Speak Up When Ready: → If it feels safe, consider addressing the behavior with the bully directly. → Use "I" statements to share how their actions affect you. As leaders, we also have a responsibility to create workplaces where bullying isn’t tolerated. This means fostering a culture of respect. Holding people accountable. And championing psychological safety for EVERYONE.

📣📣Dealing with Conflict & Difficult People at Work in Australia One of my clients, Joon, told me: “Back home, I thought staying quiet was respectful. But in Australia, when I stayed quiet, people ignored me". Yup. Conflict and difficult personalities exist everywhere, but in Australia, the way you deal with them is different, and the “rules” aren’t written down. In some cultures, raising your voice shows passion. 🔥 In others, silence shows respect. 🇦🇺 In Australia, the expectation is direct but polite: clear words, calm tone, steady voice. Joon and I worked on assertive communication. Not aggressive. Not rude. Assertive, and she realised assertive is not rude, it’s professional. This is important to know in Australia, so here is some guidance for you: 👉 Stay calm and direct Shouting or showing too much emotion is seen as aggression here. Polite but clear words will be taken seriously. Try: “Can we talk this through?” or “I see it differently, can I share my view?” 👉 Use “I” not “You” This takes away blame and focuses on the problem. ❌ “YOU never give me enough detail.” ✅ “I find it easier when instructions are clear. Could you give me a bit more detail?” 👉 Don’t avoid it Many migrants tell me they stay quiet to “avoid shouting.” But in Australia, managers expect you to raise issues early and respectfully. It shows that you're professional and strong. Try: “I wanted to flag something before it becomes a bigger issue.” 👉 Learn Aussie indirect language Australians rarely say “no” directly. “That’s interesting” = I disagree. “We might need to rethink this” = I disagree strongly. “Let’s circle back” = Not a priority. If you don’t learn these cues, you can miss the conflict altogether. 👉 Choose your battles Not every difference is worth fighting over. Ask: Does this affect my work, my team, or my values? If not, let it go. 👉 Escalate the right way If you can’t solve it directly, go to your manager. HR usually comes last. And when you escalate, bring facts and examples, not just feelings. In fact, I always suggest writing things down and this will help you to take the emotion out of it, which is very important. 👉 Protect yourself Not every difficult personality can be “fixed," and you can't control everyone. What you can control is your response. 💪🏼Take a breath before replying. 💪🏼Talk it through with a mentor or friend. 💪🏼Remind yourself: their behaviour is not a reflection of your value. Conflict doesn’t have to harm your reputation. Handled well, it can actually show leadership. 💡 I work with migrants and international students on exactly this: practical communication skills for Australian workplaces, so you can defend yourself politely, build confidence, and feel respected. In fact - join my lunch and learn for October and learn how to speak assertively meetings - LINK IN FIRST COMMENT #communication #australiancommunicationstyle #linkedinnewsaustralia #workinaustralia #migratetoaustralia

One of the most common challenges school leaders face, and one they're often least prepared for, is managing difficult staff situations. Not the catastrophic ones that demand immediate action, but the everyday challenges: the staff member who's consistently negative in meetings, the teacher whose classroom management is slipping, the colleague who undermines decisions or creates tension in the team. Most leaders know these conversations need to happen. But they procrastinate. They worry the conversation will go badly. They hope the problem will resolve itself. It rarely does. Delay makes everything worse. The issue festers, the staff member remains unclear about expectations, and the leader's credibility erodes, both with the individual and with the rest of the team who are watching and wondering why nothing's being done. So what do you do when you're facing one of these situations? Three practical strategies - 1️⃣ Be clear about the facts and the outcome you want. Before you walk into the conversation, get your evidence straight. What specifically has happened? What's the pattern? And what does success look like, not just for you, but for them? If you can't articulate a clear, reasonable outcome, you're not ready for the conversation yet. 2️⃣ Frame the issue without escalating it. Open with clarity, not accusation. "I want to talk about [specific behaviour or pattern] because it's affecting [specific impact]. I'd like to understand your perspective, and then we can work out how to move forward." This keeps the conversation focused on the issue, not the person, and it signals that you're there to solve the problem together. 3️⃣ Hold the line, but let them leave with clarity and dignity. Once you've stated the expectation, don't soften it or walk it back to make them feel better in the moment. But do make sure they leave the conversation knowing exactly what's expected, what support is available, and what happens next. People can handle difficult feedback if it's clear and fair. What they can't handle is ambiguity or feeling blindsided. The hardest part of leadership isn't necessarily the big decisions, it's the everyday courage to address what needs addressing, even when it's uncomfortable. Preparation is what turns courage into competence. #SchoolLeadership #EducationalLeadership #DifficultConversations #LeadershipDevelopment #IndependentSchools

“Why are you doing this?” vs. “How can this move us forward?” One shuts people down. The other sparks progress. A few months ago, I sat in on a tense team meeting. A deadline had been missed, and frustration filled the room. The manager, arms crossed, looked directly at one team member and asked, “Why are you doing this?” Silence. One looked down, scrambling for an answer. Others shifted uncomfortably. The energy in the room had shifted—from problem-solving to blame. I’ve seen this happen countless times. When conflict arises, our instinct is to question, defend, or assign blame. But what if, instead of shutting the conversation down, we opened it up? Now imagine if the manager had asked instead: “How can doing this progress us forward?” The impact is immediate. This simple shift in words changes the energy from defensive to constructive, from looking at the past to focusing on the future. Conflict isn’t the problem, it's how we approach it. Teams that handle conflict well don’t avoid it—they reframe it. They shift from blame to solutions, from frustration to collaboration. This approach is backed by research—high-performing teams aren’t the ones with zero conflict, but the ones that use conflict to drive clarity, alignment, and better decisions. Try this the next time conflict arises: 1️⃣ Pause before reacting – ask yourself: am I looking for blame or a way forward? 2️⃣ Reframe the question – instead of “Why are you doing this?” try “How can we solve this together?” 3️⃣ Turn conflict into clarity – use tension as a signal that something needs adjusting—not a reason to divide. This is part of the COMBThrough series, where we help teams untangle real challenges and turn them into opportunities for collaboration, agility, and performance. So, the next time frustration builds in your team, ask: Are we stuck in the problem, or are we working toward the solution? Would love to hear—how does your team handle tough conversations? ********************************************************************************* Hi! I’m Cassandra Nadira. I help teams unlock their potential to increase performance with proven tools and practices. 🚀 Let’s elevate your team: ✅ Workshops & Trainings – Build self-awareness and leadership agility ✅ Custom Programs – Enhance team dynamics and performance ✅ Speaking Engagements – Inspire with actionable insights 📩 Message me to explore how we can work together! #team #humanresources #workforce #challenges #leadership #learn #development #cassandracoach

Bullies exist in boardrooms too. Over the past few months, I’ve seen a rise in clients being bullied by their boss. The troubling part? Many of these bullies look like high performers on paper. They lead teams. They smile in meetings. They hit targets and close deals. And because they deliver, they’re often protected. Corporate systems are designed to reward results, not integrity. They celebrate what is produced, not how leaders behave. It’s also common for bullies to target someone of the same sex. Early in my career, I worked with a senior female director who bullied me and several other women on a project. So many team members resigned. I was terrified to go to work and too scared to report her. Workplace bullying isn’t always loud. Sometimes it looks like: – Taking credit for your work – Withholding information so you fail – “Feedback” that’s actually public humiliation – Excluding you from key decisions or meetings Over time, your confidence erodes. Your performance suffers. Your career stalls. And yet, people still say: “Just ignore them.” How are we supposed to do that? Here’s a better approach: 1. Speak in impact terms – Regulate emotions. Use business language. – Link behavior to risks or missed targets. 2. Document everything – Keep a private log. Save emails, chats, meeting notes. 3. Build your allies – Strengthen relationships beyond your team. – Share wins with those who outrank your boss. 4. Get support – From HR. From a lawyer, if needed. – From a coach to plan your next move. Your confidence, career, and well-being matter. You are not the problem. And if the company won’t protect you, do what you need to protect yourself. What other advice would you give? ♻️ Repost to help your network. ➕ Follow Deena Priest for more career and leadership insights. --- Image Credit: Andrea Petrone

Difficult conversations are the defining moments of leadership — how you handle them sets the tone for your entire team. Over the years, I’ve found that the key to navigating these conversations effectively comes down to three things: ✅ Create a Safe Space: People need to feel psychologically safe to open up. Start by listening—without judgment or interruption. ✅ Separate the Person from the Problem: Focus on the issue, not the individual. Attack the problem together—not each other. ✅ Balance Honesty with Empathy: Be direct, but not brutal. Tough conversations require clarity, but they also need emotional intelligence. 💡 One of the hardest conversations I ever had involved addressing underperformance with a valued team member. It would have been easy to sugarcoat it—but being direct AND supportive helped us turn things around. Authentic feedback, when delivered well, strengthens trust—not breaks it. 👉 How do you approach difficult conversations? Share your insights—I’d love to learn from you! 👇 #CareerMoment #Leadership #Communication #EmotionalIntelligence