Supporting Gifted and Talented Students

"I can solve problems others find impossible… but I struggle in simple social settings." I've heard this again and again from leaders and high performers, and it's often shared with confusion or even shame. One common explanation is 𝗮𝘀𝘆𝗻𝗰𝗵𝗿𝗼𝗻𝗼𝘂𝘀 𝗱𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗹𝗼𝗽𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁. When exceptional talent shows up early, parents and teachers may focus on helping the child hone their skills while deemphasizing social connection, so those skills develop more slowly. This isn't just about missed practice, however. Many gifted individuals engage in 𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗹𝘆 𝗼𝗽𝗲𝗻-𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴, holding multiple perspectives simultaneously, redefining problems while others are still naming them. When your brain works that way, ordinary social interaction can feel anything but ordinary. What concerns me is when organizations don't recognize these minds. I’ve seen how this can impact both the business and the individual. I once worked with an engineer, Maya, who spotted a critical flaw in her company's new product. She had the full analysis, and she was right. When executives asked questions, she gave precise and technical answers, not the yes or no they wanted. To her, oversimplifying felt like lying. To leadership, however, she was perceived as "difficult" and "hard to follow." Despite her protests, they went forward with their plans, and six months later, customers left. The product was pulled, and fifteen million dollars were lost. Maya lacked some social skills, but leadership lacked the motivation to work through that. She was three steps ahead, and they treated her like she was three steps behind. If this sounds familiar, I'd be very interested to hear your experience. --- 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘗𝘢𝘳𝘵 2 𝘰𝘧 𝘔𝘪𝘴𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘔𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘕𝘦𝘹𝘵: 𝘕𝘦𝘶𝘳𝘰𝘥𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘞𝘰𝘳𝘬𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘈𝘭𝘭 𝘤𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘪𝘯𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘯𝘺𝘮𝘪𝘻𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘱𝘶𝘣𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘩𝘦𝘥 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯.

🎓 Understanding Giftedness & Twice-Exceptionality (2E): Beyond High IQ When we think of “gifted” children, we often picture high achievement, quick learning, and creativity. But giftedness is much more complex, and sometimes, it’s misunderstood. In reality, many gifted children also have learning or developmental differences such as ADHD, dyslexia, autism spectrum disorder, or anxiety. These learners are called “twice-exceptional” (2E), meaning they are both highly capable and face significant challenges that can mask or complicate their strengths. 🧊 The 2E Iceberg: What We See vs. What’s Hidden Above the surface (visible strengths): ✨ Advanced vocabulary and abstract reasoning ✨ Creative problem-solving and deep curiosity ✨ Strong empathy and emotional insight ✨ Intense passions and focus on special interests Below the surface (hidden struggles): 💭 Executive function difficulties (organization, planning, time management) 💬 Social challenges and peer difficulties 🌀 Perfectionism, anxiety, and fear of failure 🕒 Burnout, frustration, or school-related stress 🌈 Sensory sensitivities and emotional intensity Giftedness and learning differences can coexist, and sometimes, one masks the other. A student might appear underachieving due to attention difficulties, or conversely, appear “fine” academically while quietly struggling with anxiety or regulation. 🧠 Understanding Asynchronous Development ▪️ Gifted students often develop unevenly across domains: emotionally, socially, and cognitively. ▪️ A child may read at a middle school level but struggle to manage frustration like a much younger child. ▪️ This “asynchrony” is a hallmark of giftedness and can lead to misunderstandings in school and home settings. 💡 Supporting 2E Learners ▪️ Recognize both strengths and struggles. ▪️ Giftedness doesn’t erase challenges — and challenges don’t negate giftedness. ▪️ Foster strengths through interest-based learning. ▪️ Let passions drive engagement and confidence. ▪️ Support regulation and executive skills. ▪️ Break tasks into steps, use visuals, and teach coping tools. ▪️ Collaborate across home and school. ▪️ Communication among parents, teachers, and clinicians is key. ▪️ Advocate for balanced understanding. ▪️ Celebrate neurodiversity rather than pathologizing it. ⚡ 2E students thrive when their environment honors both their brilliance and their humanity. Let’s make space for their complexity — because giftedness isn’t just about what shines above the surface, but what’s happening beneath it, too. 💙

Sarah B: "This is by far the best book I have bought or borrowed on the subject of gifted parenting, particularly if you have a very gifted child. What I really value in this book is that it divides up gifted children not merely by their IQ tests, but their way of being in the world, their hunger and drive for learning, and their approach to absorbing information. The five levels of gifted are informed by scientific measurement, but enhanced by the qualitative experience of a psychologist with deep knowledge of this audience. As the parent of a profoundly gifted child, there have been almost no resources for me to read about and understand the experience of parenting a child like her: taught herself to read at three, crushing second grade math by four, able to do advanced adult Lego since she could barely sit up. This book has helped me to understand why and how others react to her as they do, and have encouraged me to fight for different accommodation and support where she needs it. Before this book, even with an IQ test, I thought my child was just “pretty smart.” Now I understand she’s a rare child, and because so few teachers and even education professionals will have met and worked with someone exceptional like her, I need to be ready to help them understand and push for what she needs to not just survive but thrive in this world." https://lnkd.in/ezSzvht

Alice Miller's "The Drama of the Gifted Child" offers profound insights into the psychological challenges faced by gifted children and the impact of their upbringing. Here are ten key lessons and insights from the book: 1. The Burden of Perfection: Miller emphasizes that gifted children often feel an overwhelming pressure to meet the expectations set by their parents or society, leading them to internalize a sense of perfectionism that can be detrimental to their self-esteem. 2. Emotional Repression: The book highlights how gifted children may suppress their true emotions to please others. This emotional repression can lead to a disconnect from their authentic selves, causing long-term psychological issues. 3. The Need for Validation: Miller discusses the importance of external validation for gifted children, explaining how their self-worth often hinges on how others perceive their abilities, which can create a cycle of dependency on external approval. 4. Parental Influence: The author delves into the significant impact of parental expectations and behaviors on gifted children. Parents who are unable to recognize their child’s individuality can inadvertently stifle their emotional growth and development. 5. The Role of Creativity: Gifted children often express themselves through creativity. Miller argues that nurturing this creativity is essential for their emotional health and can serve as an outlet for their repressed feelings. 6. The Importance of Autonom: Miller underscores the need for gifted children to develop autonomy and self-identity. Encouraging independence helps them break free from the constraints of pleasing others and fosters a healthier self-concept. 7. Understanding Trauma: The book discusses how childhood trauma, whether emotional or psychological, can significantly affect gifted individuals. Recognizing and addressing these traumas is crucial for healing and personal growth. 8. The Value of Authentic Relationships: Miller stresses the importance of forming genuine connections with others. Authentic relationships allow gifted individuals to express their true selves and can provide a supportive environment for healing. 9. Psychoanalytic Insights: By integrating psychoanalytic concepts, Miller encourages readers to explore their own childhood experiences, fostering a deeper understanding of how these experiences shape adult behavior and relationships. 10. The Path to Healing: Ultimately, Miller advocates for the journey of self-discovery and healing. Acknowledging one’s own emotions and experiences is essential for gifted individuals to reclaim their identity and find fulfillment beyond the expectations of others.

The only thing more awkward than telling people you went to Harvard is... Telling them your kid is gifted. The G-bomb lands wayyy harder than the H-bomb 😆 There’s just no cool way to say it! You can see the energy shift—especially among professionals and educators. The raised eyebrow. The pause. The subtle lean back. 🚨 Alarm bells quietly ringing: Possible Tiger Mom detected. 🚨 Then a quick pivot to safer territory: “Ah, I see, academically advanced.” – Every time this happens, I wince a little inside. Because here is what giftedness actually looks like: ⭐ An 18-month-old who speaks in full sentences, but still wakes every two hours at night. ⭐ A 3-year-old who reads Roald Dahl, but can’t stop worrying about their own mortality. ⭐ A 5-year-old doing long division, but not quite toilet trained. ⭐ A 6-year-old chess wizard with sensory processing issues who eats exactly four tolerated foods. And on and on and on. Yes, giftedness always includes advanced cognition. But it is more appropriately understood as a neurodiversity, a highly sensitive nervous system, and unusually asynchronous development. – The problem is, most people don’t know this. (I didn't either!) They hear the word “gifted” and it is so loaded. It sounds like it’s about achievement. Or privilege. Or being “better.” I get why people squirm at that. I wish there were another label that didn’t carry so much baggage. But it’s the only diagnostic term we have today. And when we refuse to say the G-word, or use euphemisms like “advanced” or “accelerated” – the child goes unseen. Parents all over the country, in every type of school, are struggling to get their children seen and supported. A simple first step? Let’s start saying the word - gifted.

Did I want my boys to join the Gifted Education Program? ---- I've always hesitated to share this part of my life, fearing judgment or misunderstanding. But with Singapore's recent decision to end its 40-year-old Gifted Education Programme (GEP), I feel compelled to open up about my experience as a "gifted" child. Growing up in the GEP was a double-edged sword. On one hand, it provided incredible opportunities and intellectual stimulation. On the other, it came with immense pressure and emotional challenges that I wasn't equipped to handle. Picture this: a classroom full of overachievers, each brilliant in their own way. Sounds amazing, right? But for many of us, it was also a breeding ground for anxiety, self-doubt, and a constant fear of not living up to our "potential." Don't get me wrong – I'm incredibly grateful for the program. It saved me from being perpetually misunderstood and gave me a sense of belonging. But it also left me ill-equipped to handle the emotional rollercoaster of being "gifted." Being gifted also often means being more sensitive and neurodivergent with an increased chance of being misunderstood if we don't communicate effectively. It took years of self-reflection and professional help to realize that true giftedness isn't just about IQ scores or academic achievements. It's about emotional intelligence, resilience, and the ability to navigate life's challenges with grace. As I look at my two boys, I wonder: what kind of "gift" do I want for them? Sure, I'd love for them to excel academically. But more than that, I want them to be emotionally intelligent, self-aware, and capable of building meaningful relationships. I want them to know how to pick themselves up after failure and how to celebrate others' successes without diminishing their own worth. Maybe the end of the GEP as we know it is an opportunity to redefine what "gifted" truly means. Perhaps it's a chance to create an education system that nurtures not just brilliant minds, but also kind hearts and resilient spirits. What do you think? How can we better support all children – "gifted" or not – in developing the emotional and social skills they need to thrive in today's world? Let's have a conversation about raising a generation that's truly gifted in all the ways that matter. #GiftedEducation #EmotionalIntelligence #ParentingJourney #SingaporeEducation

People often misunderstand what it means to recognise that you are neurodivergent or gifted. You may read a description of giftedness, ADHD, or high sensitivity and feel a jolt of recognition so strong it is visceral, a sense of finally seeing your own experience named on a page. And yet something stops you from claiming it. Your inner critical voice may ask: am I trying to say I am special? Is this just me trying to feel better about myself? Reclaiming your identity as a neurodivergent person is not about being special. It is, at its core, a journey toward congruence, toward learning to live in alignment with who you actually are. The ugly duckling story is not about discovering that one is superior to the ducks. It is about the relief of finally recognising what one is, and no longer trying to be something else. The swan came alive the moment it stopped measuring itself against creatures it was never meant to be, and the suffering that had defined its entire life quietly fell away. If you have spent decades suppressing the speed of your thinking because it unsettles people, dampening the intensity of your feeling because you have been told it is too much, you have been performing a version of normality that costs you everything and never quite convinces anyone. The exhaustion you carry is the exhaustion of sustained incongruence. When you understand how your mind actually works, how you process emotion, how you take in sensory information, how your thinking moves and at what speed, and what conditions allow you to function rather than merely survive, you can begin to build a life that fits the creature you actually are.

👩🎓 👨🎓 At Top College Consultants, we LOVE helping twice-exceptional (gifted/talented and #neurodivergent) students successfully apply and transition to college! Thanks to #UConn instructors Joseph Madaus, Nicholas Gelbar and Sally Reis for their insights: About 1 out of every 100 students in American public schools has #autism. A subset of these students also have academic gifts and talents in a broad range of areas, including math, science, technology, the humanities and the arts. These students are often referred to as “twice exceptional.” To learn more about this population, we conducted research with three groups: twice-exceptional #autistic college students, their parents and college staff who work with them. The students were all enrolled in or recent graduates of competitive and very competitive #colleges, including Ivy League institutions. We identified several strategies that can help these students transition to and succeed in college. 1. Identify both autism and giftedness Identifying twice-exceptional students can be difficult because their gifts may mask their #disabilities. Conversely, their disabilities may mask their gifts. 2. Take challenging courses Nearly every student and parent stated that college attendance was an expectation from an early age. To prepare for this goal, students took challenging courses focused on their strengths. 3. Pursue extracurricular activities Almost every student participated in at least one extracurricular activity, and some in multiple activities. Many of the students assumed leadership roles. About half of the students participated in residential camp or program experiences while in high school. 4. Be aware of factors in choosing a college The students reported that they were active participants in selecting their college. Finding a school with a program or major of interest was their biggest consideration. 5. Understand differences in laws and supports Different laws exist at the high school and college level regarding disability supports. For example, special education services will not be provided in college. Students will not receive modified instruction or assessments and instead may be eligible for reasonable accommodations, such as extended test time. 6. Find supportive professionals Having a go-to contact person – an adviser, #counselor, teacher or faculty member – was essential, the parents and students told us. Such professionals may recognize the student’s talents, support their interests and nurture opportunities for their growth. 7. Teach students to take initiative It is important to teach students how to advocate for themselves while in high school. The students we spoke with learned how to take care of their emotional and physical health through diet, exercise, meditation, music or finding time alone to recharge and deal with stress. #TwiceExceptional #GiftedEducation #neurodiversity KD Harris, M.A. #DisabilityServices

Support for Giftedness — why it takes a village Giftedness is more than the sum of extraordinary intellect & remarkable talents. Rather it is indicated by advanced & accelerated functions in the brain, an extraordinary sense of SELF, and, an inbuilt capacity for advanced development. That advanced development occurs when the right stuff is provided in the environment, and the individual’s appetite and drive to develop is unimpeded. Those conditions are oftentimes difficult to access, regrettably, especially for the very gifted, and/or those with other exceptionalities or limited social or economic resources. Gifted individuals have extraordinary cognitive, affective, physical, and intuitive functioning. Many highly gifted learners are born knowing things, can learn at accelerated rates (often without tutelage), and can intuit both intellectual and emotional content in surprising ways. In the behavioural genetics literature on the etiology of individual differences we find evidence that cognitive ability is an innate capacity. Clinical data provides overwhelming evidence of gifted babies born with highly advanced abiliites to perceive and respond to environmental cues. These innate abilities are enhanced or inhibited by the gifted individual’s interface in the environment. This is WHERE WE COME IN. Parents, teachers, counselors, extended family and friends, social institutions of all kinds — all are important factors in the growth and development of the gifted child. Our interest and efforts matters. A great deal. Our informed and compassionate attention is essential to our children’s ability to flourish. This is written for all those interested in and supporting gifted children, in deep appreciation. It takes a village, and we are all vital contributors. P. Susan Jackson, Founder The Daimon Institute.

Building STEMonsters Education has been challenging, but nothing compares to navigating the complexities of parenting a middle school teenager! 😅 Especially when it comes to keeping them engaged—particularly those who are gifted or advanced learners. In fact, research shows they can become underachievers in high school and beyond if they are not sufficiently challenged by the standard curriculum. A study by Ritchotte, Matthews, and Flowers [1] highlights that gifted students who aren’t appropriately engaged can develop a sense of boredom and frustration, and struggle with motivation, leading to underachievement as they progress through school. At STEMonsters Education, many of our students fall into this category, including my own child. Over the past few years, I have been closely observing their learning patterns and behaviors to better design our curriculum and alleviate factors that lead to disengagement. Here are a few strategies we have implemented in our programs to meet their needs, ensuring they remain engaged and motivated. ❇ Provide challenging material to stimulate curiosity and prevent boredom, while maintaining a balance between exciting and intimidating. ❇ Appreciate a growth mindset by focusing on effort rather than innate ability. Students who believe their abilities can be developed through hard work are more likely to embrace challenges and persist in the face of setback. ❇ Project-based, interdisciplinary learning allows students to explore topics of interest deeply, helping them to connect academic concepts to real-world applications that in turn helps them to relate to it. ❇ Provide mentorship from professionals in fields of interest who can inspire and motivate the advanced learners. ❇ Allow students to pursue independent research projects to foster higher-order thinking skills and keep them engaged . Supporting advanced learners isn’t just about preventing underachievement—it is about unlocking their full potential to become the innovators, leaders, and change-makers of tomorrow. By providing the right mentorship, fostering a growth mindset, and offering opportunities for deeper exploration, we can transform their educational journey to be impactful in the long term. At STEMonsters Education, we have seen firsthand how the tailored approaches the benefits these students. 🚀 Tomorrow depends on how we nurture our brightest minds today. What other approaches have helped you to achieve positive outcomes through differentiated learning? #GiftedEducation #STEMEducation #AdvancedLearners #MiddleSchoolSuccess #EducationInnovation #StudentEngagement #GrowthMindset #ProjectBasedLearning #EdTech #FutureLeaders #mentorship #stemleaderhip [1] Ritchotte, J. A., Matthews, M. S., & Flowers, C. P. (2014). The feasibility of the Achievement-Orientation Model with gifted middle school students: An exploratory study. Gifted Child Quarterly, 58(3), 183-198.